A dad realizes his perfectionist parenting is teaching his daughter that love is conditional. Dr. Romney warns this creates shame cycles. When his daughter asked why he looked tired, he understood that being present and human matters more than being perfect.
Chapters
I hear from the dads all the time. One said, "I work 70 hours a week, so my kids have everything I had never had, but they just want me there at dinner." Another told me, "I feel guilty taking time for myself, like I'm not allowed to be human." Psychologists like Dr. Romney warns us about unrealistic expectations. They say perfectionism in parenting creates shame cycles, both in us and in our kids. When kids see us beating ourselves up, they learn that love is earned by flawless performance. That's toxic. I remember one night my daughter asked, "Dad, why do you look so tired all the time?" And it hit me. I wasn't building connection. I was building exhaustion in the name of a myth. The most powerful thing you can do for your kids is to show them that you're human. Let them see you mess up.