Growing up in an Asian immigrant family, the speaker learned love through grades and obedience, never words. A family joke about missing 3% on a perfect score shows the relentless standard. Now they struggle to believe they're worthy unless they're serving others.
Chapters
If love was a carrot on a stick, then I'm the damn donkey that's been chasing it my whole life. I grew up in an Asian immigrant home in San Francisco. Love wasn't spoken, it was measured. Measured in grades, obedience, how hard you worked, and how little you complained. You bring a 97 home on a test, Dad says, "Where's the other 3%?" We all laughed about that line at family dinners. But deep down, that's where it starts. That's where you learn that love must be earned. That's where the first carrot appears. When love always comes after effort, you stop believing you're worthy just as you are. And that belief, that deep wiring, becomes the foundation of my adult life. Because when you grow up believing service equals love, you end up serving everyone except yourself.