MacCyber October 2022 Final

Launch the denial of service! We must take down their camera systems immediately! Get into the main systems quickly! We are running out of time! Look, their perimeter defenses are coming online! Plug them quickly! Hey, McCyber, are you trying to log into that crypto site again? Must be him. Crypto shrimp Joe. I like cash money. Play with your coin, McCyber. No, no, not my crypto! No, no! What did you do? Exciber! Exciber! Exciber, you in there? Exciber, what are you doing? Hey, we need you. You gotta get up, man. What is all this? Oh, Cloud, is that you? What are you doing? We need you. We need you on the team. Where am I? We're not gonna be able to do it without you. How long have I been here? You got this stuff everywhere. What's going on in here? You're better than this. Oh, Cloud, I'm washed up. No, you're not. You're better than this. Oh, Cloud, I can't do it. Come on, we need you on the team. Oh, okay. That's ridiculous. Okay. Patch, always know what you are protecting so you can protect it. What are we protecting here? What are you protecting here? You don't know? I didn't know that you didn't know that I I didn't know. No, what's sensitive? I'm not sensitive, Lieutenant. Are you sensitive? I'm not sensitive. We have to figure out what we're not gonna lose here. Are you calling me a loser now? I give up. Christy, help us. What are we not gonna lose here? I got you. I've talked to all the department heads already. I'll have everything buttoned up by business priority. Thank you. Hello, Christy, how are you? Hello? I'm looking to get the phone number and meeting access code for Lieutenant Colonel O'Cloud's afternoon conference call. My Teams app is not working and I need to dial in directly and I'm in my car. I can help you, but I'll have to call you back from the cell number I have for you. No, don't, don't do that. My phone is almost dead. Well then, how are you going to make the call anyway? I have a car phone. You mean like one of those '80s-style bag phones? Duh! I like the way the antenna looks on my Camaro. I'm pretty sure they stopped making those like more than 5 Gs ago. Uh, okay. Uh, have a good— Yeah, I'm pretty much the master of avoiding online scams. They say that social media and online apps are the new frontier for scammer action, but these clowns are gonna have to work a little harder to fool good ol' McCybie. Ah, there's an invitation from O'Cloud right now. That's interesting, I thought I was already friends with O'Cloud. That guy does not know how to use social media. If his name wasn't O'Cloud, I'm pretty sure to be "O moron." Ah, except— Darn it, Phone Hash! This is the 9th time this week my LinkedIn's been hacked! Okay, alright, it's real, it's time to panic! Alert, alert, alert! We have an incident! This is what we should have trained for if you hadn't taken time off to be a hermit. Whatever! Say whatever you want to say, but I got a lot to say now and I've got a lot to do. Can you just let me work? Lieutenant Lowe, do we have the incident response plan? That we do, boss. What? That thing must have been written before the internet. It was that good. It's classic. Now give me a few hours to read and summarize, and we'll discuss our plan of action. We don't have time! Hey, don't worry. I've put together a rubber band ball. This way, in the incident meeting, we'll know whose turn it is to speak. How is that supposed to help, McCyber? Have you ever been in a well-run meeting? That's just what you do. We have 20 seconds and we don't even know who's running this incident. Don't worry, don't worry, I've got this, gentlemen. This is just like the time I got out of a hairy situation in Amsterdam. The team was in a submarine plunging to the bottom of the ocean. We only had 5 minutes left. I was trying to keep team morale high, so I just told this joke. It's actually really good. So the Pope, the Rabbi, and Tom Hanks—