Adam Bensman teaches a three-step method to beat fear: name what scares you, describe what would actually happen if it did, then decide what you'll do. He uses door-to-door sales stories to show how it works, from new hires to combat vets.
1) What are you afraid of? 2) What would happen if those fears came true? 3) What will I do about it?
Dare by Barry McDonough
October 12, 2023
It's the faceless, fearless, fierce and income murdering demon that might be hiding inside you. And it emerges its little head and strangles you with fear. Yes, my friend, fear is what we're talking about today. And in this video, I'm going to help you conquer fear for good with three simple questions. You can talk yourself out of it. It's worked for me and my guess is it's going to work for you. Now what I want to do is just check egos and be real. Let's have real talk. In sales we experience fear. It can be a brand new person who's knocking doors for the very first time. Might even drive into a neighborhood. In fact, I got this email just this week, Adam, I drive into a neighborhood, I can't even get out of my own vehicle because I'm crippled with fear about knocking doors. Or like a combat veteran who emailed me and after three tours as a combat veteran seeing some of the most horrific things in the world, he said, I never once skipped a beat when I was in combat when. But for some reason coming back and getting into door to door sales, it scares the heck out of me and I cannot get past my own fear. Or maybe you're a seasoned veteran. You're someone that just has a lot of weight on your shoulders, big deals at stake. Or maybe your sales took a dip or a decline. Your marriage is on the line, your house is on the line, your livelihood depends on it. Fear comes in all different shapes and it affects all of us. And I don't want fear to hold you back because it is faceless, it is fierce and it is so frightening. But when we learn how to conquer it, it becomes a thing of the and sometimes we simply need to outsmart it. And that is what I'm going to teach you to do. Hey, let's get started. And right before we do, listen, if you like these videos and you want more, you need to join me inside my free training center. And there's no catch. There's a link in the description. You'll find access to my recommended reading list. My pitch like a pro video sales training library. All my training organized by category for easy bingeing. Great for owners and managers to share with your team by the way. And I've got resources in there that you will not find on YouTube. So hop in the free training center right now. There's a link in the description. Alright, so how do we outsmart fear? We do it by asking a series of questions. Three in total. First we need to grab Fear by the horns and look it dead in the eye. And the first question to conquer fear by outsmarting fear is to ask yourself, what are you afraid of? Now, fear doesn't communicate with us. We have to learn how to communicate with it. Fear just shackles us with this fright, and it freezes us. We don't know what to do when we resist it. And instead of that resistance, we need to come towards it. So I'll give you an example. If you're afraid of knocking doors, which many people are, or it's uncomfortable, or they shake or they get nervous, they fumble over their words, we need to ask ourselves, what am I afraid of? Ask yourself, what am I afraid of? My narrative may be different than yours, but let's begin. I'm afraid of getting rejected. I'm afraid of upsetting someone. I'm afraid of someone yelling at me. I'm afraid of someone calling me names. That's what we're afraid of. I'm afraid of freezing on the spot. I'm afraid of not knowing what I'm going to say. I'm afraid of fumbling over my words. I'm afraid of looking like an idiot. I'm afraid of feeling like an idiot. All right, that was question number one. Now that we know, it just, like, shakes it out. It's like, okay, at least I got a grasp on that. And then we roll into question number two. What would happen to me if those fears come true? So let's break this down. What would happen to me if those fears came true? If I'm at the door and I'm afraid of rejection, what will happen to me? Well, I won't get the sale. And now what you're seeing is we are creating an objective experience. There's no emotion. What will happen to me if someone yells at me? Well, I will hear them. I will probably have my feelings hurt a little bit, and then I'll leave and go to the next house or get into my truck or whatever it is. What will happen if I fumble over my words? Well, I'll feel a little embarrassed. I'll leave, I'll never see them again. And then I'll hopefully get better on the next one. What will happen if this fear comes true? That is your second question. And what we did is we first identified it, and then we described it objectively. There's no emotion behind this. And the third thing is, what will I do about it? What will I do about it? Well, let's break it down. I show up at the house, I'm Afraid to knock on the door? Why am I afraid? I'm afraid of getting rejected. Especially a rude rejection. And what will happen? I'll hear a no. I'll tuck my tail between my legs, I'll walk on to the next house, and what will I do about it? I will ignore that feeling and say, you know what? In sales, I have to hear a lot of no's to get to yeses. I will disregard them. In fact, I'll say, thank you so much for the no, because that's one step closer to yes. I can get you out of the way. And then I will try again on the next door and do a better job. Because life is a series of continual improvements. And when we go through these series of questions, you, my friend, are going to be really confident tackling fear head on. And I know this might sound way too simplistic, but I assure you, when you begin using this for yourself, and it'll work. Why? Because I've used it for my own fears and for my own anxiety. In fact, I learned some of these techniques from a book that I highly recommend you read called Dare D A R E and the author is Barry McDonough. The book was really focused on anxiety, but anxiety and fear are inseparable. And I learned how to just lean into this stuff head on. And it's helped me not only my professional life but also my personal life that whenever I encounter fear, ask myself, what am I afraid of? What will happen and what am I going to do about it? And if it helped me, it'll help you. Because you and I are quite alike. Why? Because I know. Because you're watching these videos. So thank you for tuning in, my friends. And my hope is that you learn to conquer your own fear. Feel empowered to move through that fierce, faceless little demon and make him a thing in the past so you can smash your income goal and give every customer an amazing experience. Hey, just because our time here is about to wrap up doesn't mean you're in my time has to. In fact, I've done other videos on fear that you might want to dive into after this. So if that's you, jump in and watch these videos. Or if you haven't done it yet, jump into my free training center. There's no catch. I will see you inside. Thanks so much for joining me. Can't wait to see you on the next one.
