Homeowners LIE to Your Face: 4 Steps to Get The Truth w/ Marcus Sheridan

You ever have homeowners lie to you or withhold the truth, and you're finding that it's really difficult to have an honest sales conversation because you know in your heart of hearts that you're the best person for them to choose in the best company for them to choose. Well, in this interview with Marcus Sheridan, we're going to break down the real reason that homeowners are lying to you and how to make sure it never happens again. Stick through to the very end because Marcus is going to teach you the. The four steps to having what he calls an honest agreement, which is going to set up your sales conversations to be easier than ever before so you can close even more sales. Now, let's get into it.

All right? One that I want to teach you here, Adam, and this extension of. Of what some people may have seen with Sandler sales, but it's much more than this. I call it the honest agreement. The honest agreement. Now, what is the honest agreement? Well, it would be nice if every homeowner or every prospect you ever had was very honest with you during the sales conversation. But the truth is, oftentimes they're not honest with you. In fact, the number one reason why homeowners are not honest with a salesperson. Do you know why it is, Adam?

They're playing their cards close and don't want to be sold.

Okay.

They don't want it used against them.

Yeah, that's number two. Okay. Number one. And that's. That was good, by the way. Number one is they don't want to hurt their feelings.

They don't. Really.

Yes. So, for example. For example, let's say you go into a home and homeowner likes you, but they didn't like your plan, they didn't like your price, they didn't like whatever the thing was. And they say, oh, this was great. We really appreciate you coming out. We just need a little bit of time to think about it. But in their gut, what they're thinking is there's this thing over here that's wrong. We don't like it, but we don't want to tell you because you've been nice enough to come out here, you seem like a nice person. All these things we know, like, so they'd rather give you hope than give you honesty. They like you, and so therefore they're protecting your feelings. Now, they don't realize that screws you for later because it creates a false pipeline. Actually real.

Yeah.

So to address this problem and to also create a very deep connection early, we start most Sales conversations with what we call the honest agreement. Now, this will happen usually after the first few minutes. So it's not the first thing you're going to say when you get into the home, let's say, but you're going to say this very, very early in the process. And it might sound something like this, Adam, I'm going to have you be the customer.

Yeah, sure.

To sound. It's going to. You know, I've not never done this actually for roofing. I don't think for me personally, somebody, my trainers have, but probably not me. Okay. So, Adam, before we get into your roof today and we talk about everything that you're looking to do, let me just say this. This is a really important project for you. I understand that. And we don't want to make any mistakes and I want to make sure we don't make any mistakes so as to make sure this happens. Here's my commitment to you, and I really mean this as I'm telling you this. For as long as we know each other, and I hope we're like, you know, your customer for life, for as long as we know each other, my commitment is to be very open, honest and transparent with you. I'm never going to hold anything back because I feel like you always deserve the truth. Is that fair with you?

Yeah, it's fair.

Now, at the same time, when, when we talk about your project, you're going to notice that I'm going to ask you questions that you've probably never been asked before. You were like, wow. The reason is because I want to make sure we get to the heart of the matter. So when I ask you those questions, I need you to really dig into them. Push through with me this way again. We're going to eliminate mistakes and we're going to find the perfect solution for you. Can you do that? Yeah. Now, last thing I'm going to ask you, this is a two way street. So just as I'm going to be super honest and transparent with you, I want you to be the same with me. Now listen, when it comes to a home improvement project like this today, I'm going to show you some things. Now, there's a pretty decent chance that as I show you these things, at least one thing I show you, you're not going to like it. Oh, by the way, that's good. It's good. And when you don't like it in that moment, what do you need to tell me?

I don't like it.

You don't like it. Right. And why is that such a good thing? Because if you don't tell me that, what happens?

Then I have to listen to all the things I don't want to hear.

That's right. And we waste time and potentially we make mistakes. Yeah. So for the sake of this conversation, Adam, can you commit to being 100, open, honest, and transparent, knowing you'll never hurt my feelings? And if we do this, it's going to create a great experience. Can you do that?

Yeah, I can do that.

Awesome. Let's get into it. That's the honest agreement. That's the honest agreement. Now, you've done a lot of sales training, right? You've heard about the initial contract, but most people don't go into that type of detail.

No, they don't. That was beautiful, by the way. I. I can totally see how that sets the tone where. And is a massive differentiator out of the gate. Something. You and I have never talked about this. But I. I say that every human has naturally what I call the comparison creature. And that is when you have three salespeople in the home without even consciously doing it. We're going to compare everybody. And that is such a beautiful opener. That's like, wait a minute. No one else made me feel that safe that I could just be me and not have to like, you know, where I. Where I. And plus, it creates a sense of collaboration. Like, this is a we decision. I have other ways I've taught, but never that way to create it being a we decision versus I'm going to sell you, persuade you, influence you. I want your business. And now it's a it.

It. The.

The dynamic changes. So beautiful start. I love.

Glad you liked it. Let me break down the parts really quickly to what we just did. Part one, we said, this is a big deal. We don't want to make any mistakes. Part two, my commitment to you is to be 100% open, honest and transparent. I feel like you deserve that. I feel like that's what you would want. Now, of course, the person's saying yes, but what they're also thinking is, wow, this person's an authority, which is a huge deal. You've got to be the authority. You've got to be seen as a leader. This is going to induce quick respect. Part three, I said, now I'm also going to ask you some questions you've never been asked before. Now, that's important on a few different fronts because I want them realizing this ain't like everybody else. And I am going to ask questions that they haven't been asked before and, and I say now, when I ask you those, I need you to push through with me because that's going to make sure we don't make mistakes and we have the, you know, we. We end up having the perfect outcome. Now, the reason why that's a big deal is because when I do ask those questions later, he or she has already given me permission to ask them. So we've set the conditions whereby if I say, as a question like this, if I would say now, I'm looking at your addition. Tell me, when you think back to your home as a child, inside the home, what is the vision you see with your family at that time? I want to see it just like you see it. Explain it to me as clear as day. Now, that's a very common question that we ask in lots of different industries. You ask it in different ways, but essentially what you want them to do is become emotionally rooted in. In a past experience. You. You want to see what they see. Because ultimately, we're all just trying to recreate moments that we've had in the past. So if you can do that with the person, it's very, very powerful. All right? No different. If somebody's buying a boat, I'm going to say, tell me about your most incredible moment as a child on the water. They're going to repeat something, and I promise you that's what they want to do. In this case with their family, they're going to want to repeat that. All right? That's why they're buying this boat. Now, this becomes a strong emotional connector. But in order to ask deep questions like that, guess what, you gotta give permission.

Yeah.

So that's why it's part three. Part four. Part four was. But I'm gonna need the same commitment from you. I want you to be open, honest, and transparent. You notice I added a caveat. And we did almost a little role play. I said, there's going to be things I'm going to show you today that you're not going to like. When. When. When I show you something you don't like. Guess what? That's good. And when I do show you something you don't like, guess what you need to say now. Notice I now I moved into a role play with the homeowner. Homeowner says, I need to tell you. I'm like, that's right. Because if you don't tell me, what's the problem with that? And then, see, I'm asking you a question. You're filling in the response. Well, because we're going to make mistakes. It's not going to be good, and we're going to waste a bunch of time.

Exactly.

So can we commit to do this today? And then you say, yes. So I get a verbal contract with you. That's our first verbal contract. Now, when you can make verbal contracts with a homeowner early, you're much more likely to make written contracts with that person later on. Yeah. So that's the honest agreement. Just one more thing I'll say about it. That takes training and practice to do it well and natural. For those of you that say, well, I think I did it one time. It was awkward. Yeah. Because A, you didn't practice. B, you did it one time. I do it in such a way, it feels very, very flowing and natural. Like, of course. Yes, this. Oh, yeah, that's great. Right. But if. If you're awkward about it, you're going to sense that it's awkward. And a lot of people are just like, wow, that's just. It sets such a condition of candor and honesty. Later on, they're going to say, you remember earlier when you said, be honest with. You got to be honest. You guys are in. They're going to tell you the truth. Instead of protecting your feelings now because they've committed, they're way more likely to say, well, to be totally honest, your color sucks. And I think it's so butt ugly. And I know you want me to tell you that. Oh, I do want you to tell me that. Tell me, why is it butt ugly? Right. And so now they're going to. Now we're going to make progress, but otherwise they would have sent us off, you know, with our drawing or with our proposal, whatever, because they knew we worked on it. They didn't want to hurt our little feelings. Now, you will have to remind them of this promise throughout the relationship. There will be times when you see that they're hedging, and you'll say, you remember how we said we would always be 100% open, honest, transparent with each other? My sense is there's something right now that you need to tell me. You just haven't yet.

Yeah.

At the case. Yes, Marcus. Well, truth is now, here it comes. And it's glorious. By the way, if you're listening to this right now, you should have already figured out why I said this would have as much impact, if not more on you personally than professionally. When I interview my kids, I've got, you know, throughout their childhood, we would do interviews with dad. We start with an honest Agreement. It's very, very loving. Right. It's going to sound something like this. Let's. Let's just. Let's just say, you know my kid's name was Adam. Right? Adam. You know how much this moment means to me to sit with you each month and have this conversation. I hope it means a ton to you, too. These are really, really important meetings. And as we always say, my commitment to you in this meeting is I want to be. I'm going to be honest. I'm be transparent because I love you and I think you deserve the truth. Is that fair? Yeah, dad. You know it's fair. Now, I'm always going to ask you questions, right? Because unless I ask you questions, what's wrong with that? Yeah, you don't. We don't grow, dad. That's right. So we're going to push through those questions together. Fair? Yes. Yes, dad. Now, I'm an imperfect dad. I probably made some mistakes. If I've made mistakes, when do you gotta mention those mistakes? Now's the time, dad. That's right. You gotta mention them now. Because if you don't tell me what's the problem with that? Well, you won't know. That's right. And I won't grow. I want to grow as your dad. So would you be willing to be a hundred percent open and honest, transparent with me? Because you love me in this conversation today. So yes. Boom. Same thing. Same principle. Doesn't change. Okay. You can do this with one on ones with your team members just across the board. You notice I did that one as if we've had it before, because people say to me, do you do that every time you talk with an employee for an important meeting? We do it. We just have a modification as like it's understood that, hey, we're recommitting in this moment.

Yeah. Getting under a new agreement.

Yeah. Powerful. You know what does that. Game changer. You're going to stand out that second. You're not going to be like everybody else.

Yeah. That's phenomenal. Now, Marcus, you do this without thought because you're an expert in communication. And I love. When we were shooting the breeze before hitting the record button, you said, your gift to the world is to help people communicate better. And you can package this up in sales and marketing and leadership and all these different envelopes, so to speak.

That's right.

And one word that you use frequently in the honest agreement is the word because. And I noticed that as a speaker. And again, you do this without thought. You emphasize it because. And Then you explain it. And I want to mention a study that was done where people were getting in line at a college back when people used to have to get in line to use copy machine. And version one was, hey, can I cut in line to make some copies? And there was like 29% of people that said yes. And then the next version was, hey, can I cut in line to make some copies? Because I don't want to wait. I mean, let's be honest, total BS excuse because I don't want to wait. And the number shot up to something like 93%. And then the next one was because I'm running late. So same intro. Can I cut in line to make copies? Low compliance, massive level of compliance. Once adding the word because and only a marginal difference from 93 to 94% once the excuse was even decent. And psychologically, our brains search for meaning. So as you're creating this honest agreement and stating, hey, you know, this is going to be a really big decision and I want to make sure that we make no mistakes because this is so important to you, like you can even repeat the past. Same thing. When I'm looking at my notes, you know, I need the same thing from you because this is a two way street. So I just wanted to highlight really observant Adam. Thank you.

And I don't even think I realized I used that word that way. If I may add something to that, please do what that what you just described is, is. And I have a. You can, you can read more about this on my site@question first group.com but there's a technique that we teach. It's a better state. It's a pillar of, of transformative communication, which is called vanguarding. Vanguarding is knowing what could go wrong and getting in front of it. The greatest way in life to resolve a concern is to address it before it becomes a concern, not after. So the great salespeople know, okay, what are going to be the exit doors of the mind that the prospect has? How do I close those before they even manifest? Whereas the less advanced salespeople, they get hit with a bunch of doubts or reasons as to why it's not a fit or excuses or all these things. So they're being reactive. Whereas you always want to be very proactive and get in front of these things. So when you do an honest agreement, that is one big fat vanguard within that there's other vanguards. Each time I say, because I'm getting in front of them thinking why, I don't want them to say Why? I want them to say, well, of course. Yes. That makes so much sense. This is so refreshing. All of it is a vanguard. Whenever there's a communication breakdown in life, you can always do this. Ask yourself, what was the vanguard that was missed? Every single time. Every single time. And it's not just what we say, but it's how we set up the moment. Classic example, one major vanguard of in home selling is that you don't sell in the living room. You sell at the kitchen table. Well, anybody that's been in the game and paid attention for any period of time knows that closing rates are higher in the kitchen. Why? Because in the kitchen, you're sitting more upright instead of on a couch. And instead of facing the tv, you're facing each other, and your proximity is much closer. So it's a more intimate setting. Closing rates go up. Now, designing it so that you do it in the kitchen is a vanguard walk in the house. Say, can we sit at your kitchen table, please? Say, oh, we were thinking about the living room. If it's okay, I'd rather have the table just to work on. Would that be all right with you? Yeah, sure. That's fine. Boom. What they don't realize is now we've created an environment where we're all sitting almost equidistant from each other. The proximity is more of the sardine effect, which is what we want. Right. We're leaning into each other. The focus is there, and the energy is right. It's all vanguards, all of it.

That's beautiful. Have you read the book the like Switch by chance?

I'm not.

This is another fantastic book I'd recommend. And. And I wanted to point out Jack Schaer. He's a former FBI interrogator, and his job with the FBI was to identify foreign spies in the United States, befriend them, and get them to spy on their home country from the U.S. yes, we have. Jack Schaefer ran it. He literally created what he calls the friendship formula, which he outlines in the book the like Switch. He wrote another book which. The title's on the tip of my tongue. It's on my reading list, which is in the free training center. There's a link below and the. The. The friendship formula. And I'll give you this in. In. In a story. When he spot spotted first a. A Russian spy in the United States, obviously the stakes are pretty high. To go to the Russian spy and be like, hey, you should be my buddy and spy on Russia, like, the consequences are pretty high. Right. Like you're going to jail and you'll get killed in jail by some hit declared in Russia, or you're going to get kicked out of the US Back to Russia, and you're going to die when you're in Russia. And he used these approaches where he wouldn't have the initial conversation unless he was walking with them side by side, because that's what friends do.

There you go.

And so he created, literally, the friendship formula that is taught in the FBI through interrogation, which is four things. Number one, proximity. Number two, frequency. Number three, duration, and number four, intensity. And if we look at the representation of what a kitchen is to a homeowner, it is proximity. You are close together. Most kitchens aren't massive. I know rich people have really big kitchens, but even when they do, they all hover in the same corner. We all know that. That's why when you're two, your friends come over, you guys all hang out in the kitchen together. I don't know what it is about kitchens becoming gathering places, but again, as you mentioned, proximity. I'm thinking, okay, proximity. Kitchen smaller. Yep. Duration. People spend a lot of time in their kitchen with the people that they love. The intensity of what happens in the kitchen. Food is an act of love. Right. Eating together is an act of love. And in the intensity, you know, you're creating this level and intensity in a good way through this honest agreement. Like, all of the elements of this formula are coming together in beautiful synergy with environment in conversation and context and differentiation. So, anyway, it was a good book. I think you'd enjoy that one. And you know what? I'm going to put it in the. In the package I'm sending you, so you'll get a copy of that one in a minute.

Amazing, dude. Yeah. Can we do one last quick technique?

Absolutely. Jump off.

All right. Because again, I want to change someone's life today. This is the most simple. Have you ever had a situation in your life where somebody said something negative to you and you thought back, gosh, I wish I would have known what to say in that moment. If I just responded better, if I just hadn't flinched. Well, there's a way that you can prevent this from happening. And let me give you an example of the wrong behavior. And then I'm going to tell you the right behavior, and I'll explain the technique. And as soon as you see it, you. You'll. Then you'll. If you just use it a couple times, you'll use it the rest of your life, and it will change your life deeply, because it will prevent so many negative moments that would have happened had you not understood the principle, the technique. Okay. A lot of salespeople, if you're talking to them at the end of the conversation, let's say Adam. And I know you don't necessarily. You teach the right techniques here, but let's assume the wrong technique for a second. Most salespeople, when the homeowner says, yeah, you know, I really, you know, appreciate meeting together and everything, but I got to be honest, just feel like you guys are just so much more expensive. Okay. Classic line by a homeowner, Right.

Whatever you're selling, you'll get that one.

That's right. So the most common reaction or response, what would you say it is, Adam? That. And I'm not saying the right one, but the common.

From a salesperson.

Yes.

Shifting into justification.

Correct. 100% shifting into justification. Right. I need to defend my position. That is called being on your heels. And when you're on your heels, you're being reactive. It's not good. And you lose authority the entire time you do that. All right, so how do you maintain the authority, stay on the balls of your feet, and at the same time, lead the conversation where it goes without losing the negative energy? Well, the way you do it is through what I call the pushback pivot. So in life, whenever you receive pushback, it could be for anything. You need to learn to take that energy, whether it's good, bad, indifferent, and pivot the energy so that it builds towards something. Because we're always trying to build. That's the key. The energy that we create as great salespeople, as great leaders has got to be building energy.

Like, now, you know, what's that? That's the art of aikido, the judo.

Same thing. Taking that transference of energy.

Yeah.

So the way that we would do this, the way we teach this, is if somebody tells you in negative, you take the negative word or words in the phrase, you repeat them exactly as they said them, and then you say, tell me more, or something like that. Please explain. Could also be it. So, for example, if someone says to you, gee, Adam, I really have enjoyed talking with you today, but you guys are just so much more expensive. The response if you're using the pushback pivot is expensive. Please tell me more. That's it. If someone says, I'm just not sure you guys can do this. You're not sure. Please tell me about that. If someone says, I think this is ugly, it's ugly. Please explain what you mean if someone says, like your partner, hey, I feel like you've been a jerk lately, just say a jerk, please. I'm all ears. That's it. The key is don't defend. If an employee says, I think I deserve a raise. A raise? Please tell me what you're thinking. That's forces the person that said the thing to explain their position. Going back to the expensive. When someone says it's expensive, you don't know what they mean by expensive. They could mean you're 10% more, 20% more. They could just be testing you. They could think you're actually cheaper, but they're just trying to get even more out of you. You don't know. So until they actually explain themselves, you're making assumptions. And we all know how that goes. Not well. Don't assume. Get curious. Make them explain the thing. I thought that meeting was terrible. Terrible. Please tell me about that notice too. My face doesn't look pissed. If you're listening to POD right now, you can't necessarily see it, but big part of this is your face has to say, I'm really glad you mentioned that. I'm glad you said that. You need to do this the right way. Because if your spouse, your loved one says to you, you're really pissing me off, you don't say pissing me off with a big smile. You're not going to do that, right? You're going to say you're pissed. Please tell me more about that. It's going to have a look of, I care right now and I'm curious right now.

Yeah.

Again, last point to this. This one technique will change your life because you'll never say again. I wish I would have known what to say. Take the word. Don't use your word. Take their word, repeat it and just have them explain it. If you do that, everything changes. Yeah.

Beautiful. Marcus, thank you.

My pleasure.