5 Essential Hacks I’m Using to Make New Habits Stick

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If it's been a while since calling someone who matters, now's the time. Because it's more than just a conversation. It's a chance to say something they'll remember forever. So spread a little love with a call this season. Happy holidays from AT&T. Connecting changes everything. Hey, it's your friend Mel. And welcome to a practical, tactical tool packed episode of the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so excited for today's episode. I didn't even take the time to take a shower, wash my face or change out of my gym clothes. I exercised this morning and I raced right up here to the microphone because I have got so many cool things to share with you. And for those of you that have been here for a while, check it out. You are going to freaking love this. Love it. It's everything that you love. It's hilarious stories, it's science back tools. You are going to be inspired and in action before this thing is over. That's how jam packed our conversation's gonna be today. That's why I had to wear running tights. Cause we're gonna be running fast running through this. Okay? And for those of you that are new, welcome. I'm so glad you're here, but get ready because this is a doozy. We're talking takeaway city. We're talking proven hacks. Heck I teaching you today how to use a post it note to make your new habits stick. That's right. I'm Mel Robbins. I'm a New York Times bestselling author and one of the most trusted experts in the world on behavior change and motivation. So here's the reason why I'M so excited. It's because I know that our conversation today is going to be relevant to your life. Because we just released an episode about the science of habits and we covered all the basic foundational science, everything you need to know. And you know what's happened. I've now been flooded with questions from listeners who are trying to make a big change. Like this one from a listener named Eric. Hi Mel, My name is Eric. How do I create habits that will stick? So once I keep going, I'll stay with it. I want to make it easier. Eric, I'm so glad you asked because you know what? I don't want that new treadmill that you just invested in to become the most expensive coat hanger in your house. And the truth is there are simple, fun and easy ways that will help you stick with the new habits that you're trying to create. And look, I wanna say something right up front. I'm not exactly the expert in this. I'm applying the same tools that you're going to learn in this episode. I'll tell you a quick story because I'm in the same boat as you. I signed up this year to do this 75 day mental toughness challenge that is requiring me to do a bunch of brand new behaviors every single. So I am in the habit formation soup with everybody. And I have a confession to make. This is the second attempt that I am making at completing this 75 day challenge because I failed last time I did it. I signed up last year and this challenge was so hard I bailed within a week. So if you've gotten started and you're rolling along with your keto diet or dry January or you're trying to stick to that budget and now the wheels are about to fall off, maybe they already have. Don't you worry. Today's episode, it is dedicated to you and it's dedicated to me. Because you and I are going to get the science backed hacks that we both need in order to stay consistent when we are making these changes in our lives. And I'm also going to give you five little fun strategies that you can use to make all the new changes that you're working so hard on stick. How cool is that? And one final thing. This is part of a month long series that we're doing here on the Mel Robbins podcast about the foundational skills and research that you can use to create a better life. And so let's jump in. Now, for the purposes of our conversation, I assume that you have a goal or a habit that you're trying to make stick. But just in case you don't, I want to call your attention to something. We released an episode just before this one called the ultimate toolkit for creating New habits. And it covers the foundational SC that teaches you the three required parts that every habit needs. And this is an incredible episode. And it also comes with a free workbook that you can download that acts as a companion guide that will help you apply the science from that episode to defining your habits. If you haven't listened to that, I just wanted to highlight it as a resource for you. Make sure you take a listen after you finish this one, because these two episodes, they work beautifully together. And it doesn't matter what order you listen in, you can get that workbook and@melrobbins.com habits. Okay? So I want you to keep the new habit in mind because you're gonna be able to take absolutely everything you learned today and apply it to the new habit that you wanna make stick. And this is all gonna make it so much easier and frankly, a lot more fun because the stuff I'm about to share with you are the things I'm using so that I don't fail this time because it would be awful if I failed again at this thing. And so here's how this episode is gonna roll. I'm gonna explain the new daily habits that I'm trying to learn and stick with and manage. And as I do that, I want you to think right now about the change that you're trying to make. Okay? Because I want this to be relevant to you. That way it's not only gonna be valuable for you to listen to this, but it's gonna make the change that you wanna make easier. So I'll start first. So I've committed to do this 75 day challenge. And here is what the challenge says I have to do for 75 days, no alcohol. I have to eat a healthy diet, which for me, I've decided I'm gonna just eat a normal diet because I'm a healthy eater. But I'm not gonna have any gluten or dairy for 75 days. I gotta work out twice a day. And one of those workouts has to be outside. I have to drink a gallon of water. I have to take a progress photo every day. And I have to read 10 pages of nonfiction every single day, day. And the way that this challenge works and this challenge is really like, bro, it's like, like a bunch of dudes created this thing. Very, like, discipline oriented. Because here's one of the rules. If you miss any one of those things that I just listed, you have to go back to day one, period. That's how the challenge works. But I want to be clear about something, and I'm going to do the challenge based on the rules, okay? But the 75 hard challenge is completely at odds with what habit research actually says. See, habit research says that if you miss a day, you don't default back to day zero. You don't lose progress by missing a day. And so I want to be very clear up front that you can still be successful in seeing a change through if you miss a day or two days or a week. And so I want to be clear that the 75 hard challenge that I'm doing that punishes you for missing a day is not the reality when it comes to neuroscience, biology, and all the research around habits. And I know you're concerned about this, because I'm getting a lot of questions about, well, what do I do if I fall off? Like this one from Zoe. Hi, Mel, it's Zoe. And I am wondering, how do you not let your setbacks keep you from getting back and trying again? Like on New Year's Day, I was resolving not to eat sweets, and literally the first thing I ate was some chocolate birthday cake. And by noon, it was all over. So, thoughts? Any suggestions? Any tips? Thanks. Happy New Year. Great job, Mel and all your crew. Oh, Zoe, we love you. So for Zoe and every one of you listening, we're not robots. We're human beings. And habit research says that screwing up does not impact your progress or your ability to make habits stick in Life. Unlike this challenge 75 hard that I'm doing, if you miss a day, all you do is miss a day and then move forward. That's it. And research shows the new neuropathways that you create. Zoe, once you start the new habit of trying to remove sugar from your diet, they're still there. And we know this based on research from Dr. Philip Alali at the University College of London. And there's something else. It's called the what the hell effect. I eat cake. What the hell? I guess I'm just screwed up. The what the hell effect is the tendency to just give up. You screw up once. And you know these researchers, I love that they're tapping into common sense, because we've all experienced the what the hell effect, right? You sign up for the gym or you commit to eating healthy. You go twice to the gym, you skip a few days, and then you find yourself Saying, nah, what the hell, I'll skip another day. I'll have another beer, I'll take another bite. I've already fucked it up, so I might as well keep going. You know, I think we should call it I already fucked up effect. But researchers don't like to drop F bombs in academic papers, so they stuck with the title what the hell Effect. And so we're going to roll with it because this comes from Duke researcher Dan Ariely. Now, he writes about this a lot. And you want to know what's funny, Zoe, is that even in Dan's writing and research, you want to know what he's quoting? He's quoting the situation where you have one slice of cake when your goal is to have no sugar. And even more than writing about it, if you research him, he has video modules that show somebody who is trying to cut out sugar struggling around a piece of cake. I swear to God. That's the example that he used, Zoe, when he was researching the what the hell effect. And I'm raising this before I teach you the five simple systems that you can use to make habits stick. Because I want you guys to go into these five simple systems knowing that if you screw up one day, you go a couple days, you go a week, you can still get right back on track, Okay? I need you to think that failing is not a big deal. You can recover, period. So, Zoe, once you eat that piece of cake, just appreciate how delicious it was, savor the moment, and then get up, walk around the house, shake it off so that you don't eat another slice, recognize, oh, here's that. What the hell effect. I'm not gonna fall for it. And then get right back to your promise, cut yourself some slack and keep going. That's all you need to do, Zoe. And there's one final thing I wanna say to Zoe, though, and any one of you who has made a promise and within four hours, you broke it, let's have an honest conversation here. Do you actually wanna give up sugar? Do you actually want to exercise every day? Do you really mean it? That this is the year that you're gonna start that business? And I'm saying that to you as a friend. We just did an episode on the science of goal setting, and I want you to go back and listen for real. If you're somebody who chronically makes these resolutions or goals for yourself, and then within the first day or two, it's out the window. And the reason why I'm asking you to go back and re listen to the episode we did on the science of goal setting is because if this is like a chronic pattern for you, I suspect that you're not in touch with why you want to stop eating sugar. Because remember in our goal setting episode, in order for a goal to be achieved, it has to have two components to it, the will and the way. And the will means that this goal is personally relevant. You want to do it. And so I suspect, Zoe, that if you're already eating cake four hours into this thing, you're missing the will. And that's not willpower, by the way. This has to do with intrinsic motivation. The reason why you're quitting so fast is because you're not in touch with why you want to quit sugar. So go back there. If you set goals and you don't have any why, you're going to fail before you start. And so that now brings me back to why on earth am I doing something called 75 hard? What is my why? Why am I doing something so challenge? Because identifying that is important. No, it's critical to me not bailing within a week this time. And I want you to think about your why. Whether that's eating keto or saving money or finishing the manuscript or becoming more organized or getting back out there and finding somebody to share life with, whatever it is. Get in touch with your why. And it's important that you do that before I tell you these five science based systems and hacks. And I'll tell you why I decided to do this mental fitness challenge. It's really simple. I'm doing this because this year I want to play an even bigger game in life and in business. And I want to have a breakthrough in personal discipline. So you might be thinking, mel, you already do so much. So how the heck does taking on even more in life make you more successful with the stuff that you already have to do? I'll tell you why. Have you ever heard the saying, if you want something done, ask a busy person? That's because a busy person is already in a state of flow. They are busy. They got stuff going on. They got things to do. They're not sitting around on the couch scrolling through social media. They don't have a lot of resistance built up inside of them because they procrastinate all the time. And so if you hand them one more thing, boom, they'll just throw it right on the list that they're already driving through. So even though I'm kicking ass and I'm taking names, there are areas where I am still slacking off and wasting time. And I want to reclaim that time. I want to amp up my discipline, and I want to put it to better use. And that's why I'm adding a challenge that levels up my own discipline. This challenge gives me a reason to get out of bed even earlier. And if I can begin my day by checking off a few boxes. And of personal discipline. Check. I got my workout in. Check. I drank my Mason jar full of water already. Check. I read my 10 pages of nonfiction. I'm rolling into my day with an amazing sense of momentum. And when you have a sense of momentum, you know it's not present friction. When you're already rolling, you're not going to procrastinate. When you are up to something and you feel this sense of fulfillment that comes from just making a promise to yourself and checking the box and seeing yourself do it, it's pretty incredible. And if you know that, you can rely on yourself to keep your promises. Because you're practicing this every day. You're getting up when the alarm rings, you're high fiving the mirror, you're making your bed, you're putting on your exercise clothes, you're getting your body movement in, you're journaling, you're practicing your mindset, all before you start looking at social media or checking email. If you can do that, you can commit to playing a bigger game in life and in business. You may look at something like training for a marathon or doing whole 30 or dry January for a month and go, I don't have room for that. But the truth is, you have plenty of room to add a challenge in. Because when you get laser focused about what matters to you and about how you're gonna focus on your time, you're gonna reclaim it. You're gonna be amazed at how much time you actually have. And you're also gonna find this surge of power. Because for me, taking on 75 hard and just checking the boxes every day, I'm only a few days into this and I am already so proud of myself. I'm all of a sudden looking at the year ahead. I'm like, I'm going to write another book this year. We're opening up offices in Boston in two months, and they're going to be fricking awesome. Heck, I'm now inspired to build a tech platform. And just last night I thought to myself, I am so into mocktails. I am seeing the benefits of not drinking. Why don't I do something in this space? Because there's not as many options as I would like, and this is a problem that I would love to solve and an area that I could get really creat. And so when you make room for something that creates discipline in your life that allows you to make promises to yourself, it expands the way that you think about what's possible and what you're capable of in ways that are just outrageous. It's that simple. That's my why. Plus, a bunch of my family members are doing it this year, and I really wanted to be a part of it. The why is critical. So stop and think. Why am I doing this thing? The goal that I want to have Mel's help sticking with this habit that I really don't want to bail on. Why is this important now? 75 hard for me. I should be calling it 75 brutal. Because the truth is, I have not gone 75 days without having an alcoholic beverage since I started drinking when I was 16 years old. And when I think about cutting out dairy and gluten, which is something I want to do because I get a lot of sinus congestion. And so I'm curious to see if dairy or gluten is the reason, but cutting it out for 75 days, I mean, that's what I eat for breakfast. Hello, cereal. Hello, oatmeal. Hello, coffee with cream and sugar. Hello, sourdough toast. Now I'm starting to wonder, why on earth did I make myself do this? Oh, yeah, that's right. Because I'm tired of having sinus issues and I'm tired of having my gut feel funky. And so here's what I figure. If I can make these six things. Exercising twice a day, no alcohol, sticking to this diet, reading water for 75 days. You want to know what I can fucking do? Anything. And that leads me to yet another takeaway. If you feel stuck right now, if you feel like you're in a rut, if you just got dumped or fired or you're going through a divorce, or you put on more weight than you've ever had, or you're just feeling kind of lost in life, you have no clue what you want to do. Here's a tip from your friend Mel Robbins. If you don't know what to do in that situation, sign up for something challenging. Train for a marathon. Commit to doing something that feels hard as hell and that pushes you outside of your comfort zone. Something that forces you to add something new to your life, like a training run every single day, or a class where you're going to learn something, or a meditation challenge, or, hell, 75 harder how about this one? If you don't know how to swim and you're an adult, it'd be pretty confronting to go to your local Y and sign up for an adult beginner swim class and learn how to swim, which is a life saving skill. Or maybe you want to sign up for tango lessons. You've always thought about how fun it would be to dance in competitions. See, what's interesting about a challenge of something scary and hard is it forces you to level up every area of your life because you won't be successful adding this challenge into your life and completing the goal if you don't change your life and your habits and the systems of your day to day life in order to be a person who can achieve this goal. It literally shocks you to your core when you sign up for a challenge. And it reminds you, I'm more powerful than I think. I'm not stuck in this situation or this shitty relationship or this dead end job. I'm more powerful than I think. And just trying this online challenge or training for this marathon or this road race or this walking thing or whatever, it's getting me back in touch with me. Okay, and off of the lecture, Mel. And this brings me to the fun part. All right, I got these new habits. Please, Mel, give me the five hacks. How the hell do I make these new habits stick? How do I create structure, discipline and order in my life? Well, it's very simple. You're going to use simple hacks. That's all you're going to do. You can call them systems, you can call them triggers, you can call them cues, you can call them structure, you can call them whatever you want to be. My friend, Amy, who you've heard on this podcast, has this term that I laugh about so much it makes me think of belly buttons. But she basically says there are two kinds of people in this world. There are people that are any organizers and then there are people who are Audi organizers. Innie organizers are people who manage everything in their head. That used to be me thinking about it all the time. Audi organizers. You folks get your to do lists out of your heads. And you're smart because you use systems outside your brain to keep you successful. Visual reminders, alarms, notes, to do lists. We call these visual cues. In habit research. You don't manage to change in your head. You use external systems out of your head to help you stay on track. Now, I used to be an innie organizer and I also have an innie belly button, in case you're wondering. I know That's a little bit too much information. I don't know why, but it is kind of intimate to share whether you have an innie or an outie belly button. But I have an innie. I blame it. You can blame that on the doctor who tied your umbilical cord. Yep. I often tell myself that if only the doctor who tied my umbilical cord, who happened to be my father, who was a medical resident at the time. I blame my father for the fact that it doesn't matter how much I exercise. I have a hamburger bun belly button like it's like a flat line. And I say to myself, if he had only tied the knot tighter, I would have one of those amazing round like belly buttons that are like the size of a nickel that some people have. I've always wanted one of those. No, I'm not getting surgery, but so I have an innie flat hamburger button belly button. That's not what I was supposed to be talking to you about. An innie organizer is somebody who tries to stay organized in their head. You have to be an outie organizer. That's what you have to be. When it comes to habits. You have to use systems, post it notes, alarms on your phone, a notebook that you carry around, a chart that you create and hang on the wall. If you are serious about making change stick, get it out of your head and stick it in front of your face. Why? Well, remember in the episode we just released on the science of habits, there are only three parts to a habit based on all of the research and habits science has never changed. The cue, the behavior pattern and the trigger. That's it. You have to figure out systems to have the cue or the trigger outside of you. And when you start to figure out how to get the cue, the thing that signals the new behavior outside of you, get it out of your any head and get it out into the world when you start to do that, that's the secret to making behavior stick. And what you're going to learn is going to blow your mind. Because I know that when you're trying to change any your head, you're keeping it all in your head and you're not using systems outside of you. You are frustrated like Ann is. Hi Mel, it's Ann. And here's my question. I'm wondering why it is that I find it so hard to break through some daily habits and do things differently. Why I can't stay consistent in my daily tasks. I just feel so frustrated with myself. I'll tell you why. You're frustrated. The same reason why every any organizer is frustrated. Because you are trying to stay consistent in your head and you are not using simple systems and simple physical cues to keep you organized and to keep these changes top of mind. That's it. I used to be like that too. Not anymore. I use systems because I'll be damned if I do not complete the 75 hard challenge. Especially since I'm doing it with my husband who's doing it now for the third time and he's leading a group of people from around the world through it. My daughter's also in, her boyfriend is in and so is my brother. There is no fucking way I'm letting myself fail and I will fail if I do it like I did last time and I rely on my own mind and I do this like an innie organizer. Mm. Not doing that. So I am getting out of my head and I'm getting into my systems and so are you. Okay, we're gonna take a short break, we're gonna hear a word from our sponsors and then I'm gonna come right back and I'm gonna teach you the five simple systems that I'm using right now. How about we say hello to the all new Alexa plus the shortcut that makes your life feel so much smoother? Need last minute concert tickets? Craven your favorite restaurant? Takeout? Alexa remembers what you love and makes it all happen. You don't need to type, dig through apps or repeat yourself. Alexa has got it. Alexa works with Echo, Fire TV or any compatible device and brings more of what you love to you right now. Ready whenever inspiration strikes. Amazon.com New Alexa A new year is coming fast and you know what that means. Fresh start. Clean slate. No excuses. But if you want next year to feel different, you gotta do something different. The good news is it's never too late to make a career pivot. Go back to school and take charge of your life. Purdue Global is Purdue's online university for working adults. Different paths, different schedules, and they meet you where you are with the support you need. Start your comeback today at purdueglobal.edu. the Mel Robbins Podcast is proudly sponsored by Amica Insurance, our exclusive insurance partner. As Amica says, empathy is our best policy. From listening to your insurance needs to following up after a claim, Amica provides coverage with care and compassion. Because as a mutual insurer, Amica's built for its customers and it prioritizes you. Isn't that the way insurance should be? Amica? At Amica, your peace of mind matters. Visit amica.com and get a quote today. Okay, welcome back. So we are talking about the five simple systems that are going to help you make new behavior change stick. Okay? So system number one, and this is the mack daddy of Audi organizing. Ready? Make it visible. And by make it visible, I mean put it in front of your fricking face, okay? Because here's the cool thing. Instead of rearranging your mind and your mental to do lists, rearrange your house and your environment to support you in remembering your goals and achieving your habits, okay? That's how you make this stick. You make it visible, you make it obvious. So let me give you a list of some of the things that I've done. So first, I have the list of all of the things that I need to accomplish in this challenge taped to my mirror above my bathroom sink. Why is it there? It's the first thing that I see in the morning, and it's the last thing that I see at night. Here's another example of a way to make the habit or the goal visible. My water bottle. And the nonfiction book that I'm reading, I put that by the coffee maker every single night. It is sitting there in the morning. Why? Because I can't miss it. I mean, it's obvious. I walk in, I go to make my coffee. Boom, there it is. It's like, hey, bitch, don't forget to drink the water. Hey, read that book. Don't pick up the phone. Like, do you see how much easier I made that on myself instead of having to go in my head and be like doing mental gymnastics with my don't pick up the phone. Remember, you gotta read the book. I don't wanna read the book. But do it. It's like sitting right there out of me. I can't ignore it. Here's another way to make things visible to support yourself. We have this little beverage fridge, right? And normally it's got a ton of beer and wine in it. You know what's in it right now? Not beer and wine. It's now stocked with kombucha, non alcoholic beer and awesome non alcoholic spirits and all kinds of spindrits and seltzers and topo chicos and all the kind of non alcoholic stuff that I love to drink. Why? Because then when I feel a little craving and I go to open up the little beverage fridge because I'm going to sneak, because I'm sneaky and I'm a rebel and I only made it a week through the challenge last time, so God knows I'm going to want to sneak it sometime. What do I have? The stuff that I. I don't want to drink. But the thing that I need to drink is right there. It's visible. Here's another way that I make the habit visible. Every night before I go to bed, I lay out my exercise clothes on the floor. It is a giant middle finger to myself. Because you want to know what? When I wake up in the morning, do I want to work out? Do I want to have to work out outside? Hell no. It's 37 degrees and raining in Vermont right now. Who in their right mind wants to go outside? But when I wake up, it's visible. It's outside of my head. It's in my face. It is reminding me, oh, there's that promise that you regret that you made, Mel. And then I have to remind me of my why as I'm pulling on my tights. The question is, why does this work? Well, let's turn to research from Harvard Business School because this research from Harvard Business School shows that when we make decisions for our future selves, we make better decisions. So let me unpack this for you, okay? When you wake up in the morning and you got all your habits and goals in your head, it's the old you. And you got a decision to make in the morning, right? Do I feel like exercising? Do I even remember I need to exercise? It's sleeting, horizontal, disgusting, 37 degree rain outside. Do I feel like exercising? If you are in your head making a decision in real time, you are likely going to make a bad decision, right? I don't wanna exercise, so I'm not going to, I'll do it later. But when you make decisions for your future self and that's what you're doing, when you literally take the time to put a post it note on a mirror, that's what you're doing. When you take the time to pull all of the booze out of the fridge and stock it instead with better choices, that's what I'm doing. When I put the clothes on the floor, I am making a decision as my future self. I am saying, I know Mel Robbins well enough to know at some point this woman is going to have no willpower. She is going to be weak, she is going to be desperate, she is going to be emotional. And so I need to make a decision for the future Mel Robbins. The Mel Robbins that wants to change. And when you think from that point of view and you set yourself up for success by making these things visible, you freaking win. Because according To Harvard Business School. You make better decisions when you think about who is the future you and what would that person do? So the night before, plan out as many decisions as you can. And that means put the water bottle by the coffee maker. Set the journal out where you're gonna see it. Lay out the clothes. Put the phone in a different room so that it's not there to look at first thing in the morning. These are things that you can do as the future you. What would the person who already lives this lifestyle be doing? Act like that version of you when you set yourself up and make all this stuff visual. Here's the other cool thing that happens. You reduce what's called decision fatigue. The very next day, you're taking advantage of this planning for your future self. And you know what? There's a third benefit. I love this. It lowers activation energy. So we talked about this in the episode called Motivation is Garbage. Activation energy is just a fancy term that means how much fuel or energy does it take you to get started on something? Activation energy is the force that you need to apply to doing something. So I'll go back to the example. It is so much easier for me to get going when my exercise tights are on the floor next to my bed. Duh. It is so much easier for me to get my water consumption done to drink that big first thing of water if it's sitting out waiting for me. Duh. Because it takes a lot more energy, right? A lot more force, a lot more fuel for me to not only haul my ass out of bed, but to remember I need to put on exercise tights and to pull open the drawer and to figure out which pair to wear and then to pull them on and then to look at the jog bras and then to decide if I need a sweatshirt or I need a this. I've had to, like, burn through fuel just to figure out what freaking outfit to put on. By making decisions for my future self and making it visible. Boom shakalaka, people. This is easy. I am setting myself up for success. Here's another powerful way to make things visible. Use the alarm on your phone. Seriously, this is a genius hack. Put the alarm on your phone to use to help you be your future self. It's like a reminder from the future. Okay, cake's done. Get up. Go check on it. No, seriously. So every single smartphone has the ability to set an alarm. And on the alarm, when you go to set the time, there's a label. Right now, it says alarm. You can literally change the label to help you remember anything. And here's what's super cool about a simple alarm on your phone. Research has found that, that twice as many people who received quit smoking messages quit smoking over a six month period. So these little systems like setting an alarm in your phone, whether you're reminding yourself to take the vitamins that you want to be taking, or you're reminding yourself to get outside for the run, or you're reminding yourself to spend 30 minutes working on a project that you wanted to get done, they're going to make you, based on the research, twice as successful, twice more likely. This simple stuff works. And it's not that hard. Not that hard to put a post it note on the mirror. Not that hard to set an alarm in your phone, not that hard to set the water bottle out. But you gotta do it, okay? Simple systems work because your life is complicated enough. And if you can put that post it note up, you are setting yourself up for success. I'm telling you it's true. And that leads me to system number two. And this is the one that Mel Robbins has to use even more than like stick it in your face. And this is the opposite. Get it the fuck out of here, okay? Remove the temptation from your sight. Get it out of here. Out of sight, out of mind. I wish that were true. Because a lot of times you're gonna find that even when you say, okay, that's it, I'm not gonna eat gluten, I'm not gonna eat sugar, I'm not gonna still gonna be on your mind. Which is why it needs to be out of sight. So the things that you don't want to do, the bad habits that you have, the little addictions like your phone, let's make it harder for you to just slip into those things, okay? So let me give you some examples. If you don't wanna drink, put the alcohol away, get it off the countertop, get it in a cupboard. Better yet, put it in the basement. You know, if you need to get up early or if you want more sleep, here's what you need to do. Get your phone out of the bedroom. This one simple system. Remove the phone from your bedroom will change your life, because it won't be there. You won't look at it in the middle of the night, you won't lay in bed and look at it. Get it out of your bedroom. You want to know why you can't be trusted. Neither can I. And I'm gonna give you a really harsh example of this. Let's say the Person you love the most has a really bad addiction. Like, let's just put it out there, they're addicted to cocaine, okay? You love them, they're trying, they're recovering, they're doing great. Would you ever put an eight ball on the bedside table? Of course not. You are more addicted to your phone than people who are addicted to cocaine. I'm not kidding about this. The research is very clear. And so anything that you have a problem regulating yourself with, get it out of your sight. It's an addiction. I'm dead serious about this because I am in that category when it comes to the phone. I know this intellectually. Any my head, I know that I shouldn't be looking at my phone, which is why I gotta get it outta my bedroom so that I don't look at it. I'll give you another example. I for the next 75 days, gluten free, dairy free. Why on earth would I stock my fridge with the cheeses that I love? I'm not going to, because it would be torture. And look, if you can't remove it from your fridge because you have kids who drink milk or your roommates are all drinking alcohol, you can certainly stick the milk in the back of the fridge. You are within your rights to ask your roommates if they could just store the alcohol in the cupboard instead of on the counter so it's not like there in your face. And here's what's so cool about removing it. The research shows that when you hack your environment this way, right? This is just a simple system. Get it the fuck out of here. Okay? Out of here. You only have to have that temptation a tiny bit more inconvenient to have this system work. They did this really interesting study at Google where they used to keep M and Ms. In open bowls at Google. And they were curious in the Google offices, what if we just like switched up the system here? And instead of having M and Ms. And open bowls, what if we put them in bowls that had lids on them? The candies are still there. You want to know what happened? Employees ate 3 million less M& Ms. Over the course of a year. Why? Because out of sight, out of mind. Making it just a tiny bit more inconvenient to get the candy had. People often pass on it and the candy wasn't so tempting because they couldn't see it. And this also proves what you've already learned. Decision fatigue is a real thing. Simply having to consider lifting off the lid before you reach the M and Ms. Created enough friction for people Enough of a pause that it made them not do it. Just like you having to pull open the drawer and pick out your exercise tights often has you walk right past that drawer and not do it at all. So if you want to do it, stick it in front of your face. If you don't get it out of your sight, because I promise you there is going to be a moment where you are going to get desperate and you are going to be wondering, why did I agree to do this thing? You're going to be Zoe standing there at a lunch wanting to eat cake. Or you're going to be like Eric and instead of turning that treadmill on, you're going to want to take your coat and launch it right on top of that treadmill. Or you're going to be like me. This morning as I am standing there in the kitchen and I'm making a cup of coffee and I am pouring this plant based creamer into my coffee and I'm thinking, I would kill another human being for whole milk right now. I even scrounged around in the fridge to see if there was any in there. I'm not gonna lie. Not gonna lie, not proud of that moment. It's a weak moment for Mel Robbins. I am way more addicted to my whole milk than I thought. Sadly, there was. Well, you know what? Not sadly. Thankfully there wasn't any in there. I had no choice because I got it the fuck out of there. Cause I know myself well enough that if I have an option to be a rebel and cheat, I will likely take it. And so I'm glad. I'm glad I choked down the plant based creamer and I got 69 more days to go. Okay, now let's go to another question and this one comes from Jack. Hey Mel, it's Jack. I've got a quick question for you. If I start setting goals, how do I know if I'm going to be successful? What's kind of the biggest indicator or way for me to know that I'm on track? Jack, great question. And it brings me to system number three. And I got to tell you to brace yourself because this is going to sound redonkulously obvious, but the only way to know that you're on track is to track, period. That's system number three. You have to track your progress. Again, let's go back to any organization versus Audi organization. You are no longer allowed to track your progress casually in your mind. You need to get it outside your mind, which means you need a system for tracking progress and so back to 75 hard. I'm going to share with you my daughter's system, which I've stolen. What she did is she created this amazing grid on the wall using post post it notes. And so for every single day of the 75 days, she wrote 1 through 75 and then created this giant square grid on the wall. And every single evening, when she finishes the day, she pulls a post it note off. And pulling that post it note off, that is like. That's like a rip. That's like a. Yes. That gives you the dopamine. That is like a box checked. If you are a to do list. I love my boxes checked. I love my things. You will love checking boxes and keeping track. Another example of this, tracking the miles you run on an app like Strava. Or maybe you can just, like, make a grid on your computer and print it off, or find one, you know, on Google and print it off online. Checking boxes either on something you've printed off or on a habit tracker. I personally prefer paper because I'm 54 and I love. Well, Chris, my husband's 53 today, so I had to think about, okay, wait, how old am I? I robbed the cradle. He's 17 months younger than me. It really works. Okay, So I sometimes forget to log onto apps. You gotta understand yourself. You have to make these systems work for you. An app may be the best damn thing that's ever happened to you. For me, when it comes to tracking myself, it's gotta be paper. I gotta see it right in front of my face, which is why I use my bathroom mirror. I will also use the wall in front of my computer or the refrigerator, places that I know that I'm going to bump into it for you. You may be fine doing it on your phone, on a computer, but that system doesn't work for me. And so that's the other thing. Kind of be flexible with this. Try things out, see what feels right for you. But tracking your progress, this is not negotiable. Get it out of your head, because there is foundational research here. See, you start to get addicted to keeping a streak. Think about Snapchat. Ooh, we got a streak. I don't wanna break the streak. Have you ever noticed, like, that you're out now? Everybody's all addicted to Bereal. And the second that that notification goes off, people are like, we gotta do our Bereal Today. I didn't do my Bereal Today. This is about streaks and not breaking the chain of progress. And so in apps and social media, Apps, they've gamified this natural tendency in psychology. And so you can do the same. Create a system that's fun for tracking yourself. And remember what I said at the very beginning, Zoe. My cake eaters, my sugarcutter outers, my people who keep making promises that they don't know why they're doing it. Get clear about your why. And remember, if you're doing a grid and you have a day off, first of all, you will know that it's a day off. Shake it off, and try to get back on track tomorrow. Okay? We don't really want to see two or three days off in a row. But if you're tracking your progress, this is the other magic of tracking it outside your mind. You see it and you're empowered to get back on track the next day. So you can, whoop, check that box. Love it. And look, I think it's obvious. But also there's research that's proven that the more often that you track your progress, the greater the likelihood that you're going to succeed. And the chances of your success are even more likely if you report your progress publicly or you physically record it. This comes from Dr. Benjamin Harkin of the University of Sheffield, published this in the Journal of Psychological Bulletin. Harkin and his colleagues. This is not like some one off study. They conducted a meta analysis of 138 studies. And you know what that means to us real people here? It means that he took 138 studies on goal setting, and when they combined it all and crunched the data, they found that monitoring your progress toward a goal, no questions asked, increased the likelihood that you would achieve the goal. There's, like, no arguing with me on this one. Okay? We got two more systems to cover. But first I have to take a quick break. We got to monitor our sponsors. Listen in, let's hear what they have to say. And then when we come back, we're talking system number four and system number five. I'll see you in a minute. 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Then live agents step in, talking to the person through the camera and making it clear you're on video. And the police will be called if you don't leave. Simplisafe can even trigger a siren or a spotlight. A warning loud enough to make anyone think twice and to give you peace of mind you deserve. That's how you stop a crime before it starts. And you're not stuck with any commitment either. No long term contracts or hidden fees. And you can cancel at any time this month. Only take 50% off any new system. This is one of the best prices you will ever see for Simplisafe. Don't miss it. Hit simplisafe.com Mel again, that's simplisafe.com Mel and lock in your discount. There's no safe like Simplisafe. You know how you have that one friend that you always go for relationship advice to? Or the mentor at work who's got your back when it comes to career moves? Well, when it comes to travel, Expedia has your back. Trying to decide between a vacation rental and a hotel, Expedia makes it simple to compare options and find the right fit for every trip. Plus, you can book flights, rental cars, cruises, hotels, vacation rentals, even activities, all in one place. Bundle and save on your next trip with Expedia by adding a hotel or vacation rental to your flight. Book your next trip with Expedia today. All right. Welcome back. So happy you're here. See, I'm monitoring your progress. You came back. Check. So we've talked about the first three Audi systems. Make it visible, like right in front of your face. Get it out of your head, put it in front of your face. Number two, whatever you're not supposed to do, get it the fuck out of here. Okay, let's just remove all temptation. You and I are friends. We know. We're kind of rebels. We know we can't be trusted until we can be trusted. So let's just get it out of here. Number three, monitor your progress. Okay? We are serious about change around here, which means you gotta get it out of your head, get it on paper, get it in an app and get public about it. Okay? Super important about this. Let's talk about system number four. This is another way to get out of your head, okay? Create a plan. I'm gonna say that again. Create a plan. We are not talking kindergarten habit here, people. We are talking college level PhD habit sticking systems. We're not screwing around. If you want a freestyle in your mind, you are not going to be successful. This is not jazz. We're not like just going off the rails here. We are following the music score to the T. You need to plan, people. This comes from studies, okay? You know I'm throwing the science at you because a lot of times, you know, when the stuff is common sense. Yeah, I know. You need to plan, Mel. Yeah, well then why aren't you doing it? So let me tell you the research at UT Austin, they found you're going to be more likely to succeed at behavior change if you make specific plans to implement it. Now I don't mean to insult your intelligence because I think this is obvious, but when you unpack an example of this, it becomes very obvious why you're failing if you fail to plan. So let's go back to 75 hard and my promise and commitment to complete two workouts every single day, one of which has to be outside. It is critical that I plan ahead. Critical. I am fucked if I don't plan because I travel for work. And so I'm looking at flights right now for a 16 day business trip. And as I'm looking at flights, you know what I'm thinking? How the hell am I going to get an outside workout and an indoor workout in and I got to still fly from San Diego back to Boston. Or here's another way that I'm planning. Tomorrow in southern Vermont we're gonna have 4 inches of snow on the ground and when am I gonna work out and what am I gonna wear? And do I need the grippy things on my feet because the driveway is like a luge run right now. And what time of day am I going to like, am I gonna get this done before 4 o'? Clock? Which is when winter comes and the death eaters are here and it's dark as hell and based on my schedule I gotta plan this stuff because I don't. And I just start my day. Here's what's gonna happen. I am literally gonna go, oh, I'll do it later and then it'll be 8 o' clock at night. I gotta tell you a quick story about my husband Chris, because this is when it occurred to me that I might be married to either a robot or to the world's most disciplined person on the planet. So Chris started 75 hard for the third time well over a month ago. And so it was December 21st, and we had woken up in New York because we go there every year during the holidays to see a show with the kids. It's just one of our traditions. And Chris did his first workout in the hotel gym in New York. We then drove to Connecticut. We had lunch with his brother, and then we drove up to Boston, where we were going to stay with his oldest brother and we were gonna go to a holiday party. Now, as we're driving to Boston, the weather gets supremely crappy. And we are driving in horizontal rain. You can barely see, it is foggy as hell. And I'm looking at the time and I'm thinking we are going to arrive 30 minutes after this big party has started. This party with all of our old friends where we used to live in Boston. I was so excited to go to this party. And I'm thinking in my mind, Chris hasn't gotten his outdoor workout yet. Could he maybe just stick his head out the window and, like, do some face exercises? Like, could we, you know, do something like, could I? Like, what are we gonna like, I wanna go to the party. I'll tell you what, this is impressive. The man said, I have to get this done. I'm like, but you're. It is raining horizontal. Outside it is dark. You don't know the neighborhood we're going to. There are no street. He's like, I don't care. I'm doing it. We decided to go to his oldest brother's house. Cause he was getting this done. He said he would do this, and bad planning fucked him. But he was not gonna let bad planning break a promise that he had made to himself. This is what integrity looks like. So we go not to the party, but we go to his brother's house. And I sat inside because there was no way I was gonna go to that party without him. While I knew he was walking in the pouring horizontal rain. And he borrowed a pair of sweatpants from his brother, which were cotton, by the way. We're not talking performance gear here. And just this big old coat. And the man left and walked for 45 minutes at 7:30 at night in the horizontal 40 degree rain. And then he came in, toweled off, changed his clothes, and we drove to the party. In 26 years of being married to Christopher Robbins, I have never Been more attracted to the man than I was in that moment. There is nothing sexier than a person who keeps their word no matter what. And the way that you make it easier to keep your word is by planning ahead. Planning ahead is about looking at the week ahead. And if you're gonna eat healthy, figure out what you're cooking for the week every night, and then go to the grocery store. And if you're not going to be eating dairy or gluten like I am, this is new for me. I don't normally cook without dairy or gluten. This is requiring a lot of planning so that I don't just open up the fridge and hope that somehow this has magically happened, that I'm gonna be successful. Making a plan is a piece that's super obvious, but it's completely overlooked. You're thinking about what you need to do again. You're an innie organizer rather than getting out of your head and creating a plan out in the real world on paper. And the most basic plan at all is look at your fucking schedule. Look at the weather, look at what's in your fridge. Look at what your commitments are. You know, I'll tell you another quick story. It has to do with exercise. Day four, 75 hard. Just like Chris, I didn't make a plan. I exercised first thing in the morning, but I didn't make a plan for the second one. So 8:00pm rolls around, and Chris is like, when are you doing your second workout? And of course, I'm looking at the man that walks in torrential rainstorms, like, without blinking an eye. And I'm like, ooh, I already did my outside workout. I think I will stretch in front of the TV while we're watching Jack Ryan. How's that sound? He put his hands on his hips. My daughter was sitting there, too. And he's like, get on the treadmill. Go on. We'll wait. When I tell you, in 28 years of being with a man, I don't think I've ever wanted to kill him more than in that moment. But he was right. Failing to plan is planning to fail. So let's go back to Zoe. Hi, Zoe. Slice of cake, four hours in. Don't make yourself wrong. You know what went wrong there? Either you really don't want to give up sugar or you just failed to plan. So if you're planning on cutting out sugar, what's your plan when you go to a party or a restaurant and cake is being served? This is what's called if. Then planning and it's research by Heidi Halvorson, who wrote about this in the Columbia University researcher. And if then planning is a way to keep yourself on task by creating a backup plan if your current plan doesn't work. And here's what's really cool about if then planning. If then planning boosts your ability to stick to goals from 39% success to 91% success. If it rains, then I'll do this. If I miss my flight, then I'll do that. If I'm going to a party and I've committed to dry January, then I'm just gonna bring a non alcoholic beverage. If a friend invites me over for dinner, then I'm gonna email or text them back and say, I'd love to, but I'm trying to cut out gluten and I don't wanna be a pain in the ass and have you have to fuss about me. So can I bring something that's gluten free to supplement what you're already making? Because let's face it, if you don't plan ahead, if you don't make an if then plan, you feel embarrassed. And then you either push your food around your plate like some weirdo or you eat and you break the promise to yourself. So if I don't get exercise done tonight, then I'm not gonna binge watch TV tonight. I'm gonna get my exercise done instead. If you didn't give yourself enough time to get that side project done this morning, then you're gonna finish it at 7:45 tonight after you put the kids to bed. Bada bing, bada boom. Pretty cool, right? All right, now let's get to system number five. Do it in the morning. There you go. Do it in the morning. It's that simple. As much as you may want to bitch about being a morning person or getting up earlier, getting. Getting up earlier, getting the most important stuff done in the morning, this is the keys to the kingdom. It really is true. Being an early riser is like a first domino that falls. And once that domino falls, you've gotten yourself out of bed an hour a half an hour earlier, all these other dominoes fall in your life. And I get it. It's hard to do. And one huge way that's going to make a big difference. And you hear me talk about this all the time and it's because this is one of these domino habits. You do this and it triggers a whole like of change. Get your phone out of your bedroom, period. It's a huge way to hack this and you don't want to know another way to get up early. Get a puppy, because they'll wake you up. They need to be let out. And I've learned this one. You get a puppy and you'll be a morning person. Another one. Marry somebody, Date somebody. Sleep with somebody who get. Gets out of bed early. Live with somebody who has a great morning routine. And look, it's not just common sense, it's science. Number one, your willpower is the highest in the morning. Number two, your speed of processing. Highest in the morning. Your ability to focus. Highest in the morning for the first four hours of the day. And by the way, it's likely to be the time of day that you have to yourself, the time that you can actually control before other people, little people, furry people, and all the commitments at work start taking up your attention and your time. And yeah, I get it. You've got toddlers. Well, that means if you're serious about this, you are gonna have to get up a half an hour earlier before they get up, which means you're gonna have to go to bed a half an hour earlier. But aren't these new habits and a better lifestyle and feeling in control of your life, isn't that worth it? That's your why. Because if you can get an extra hour every morning, you can get everything done. You can do all the little things that the future you put in place for you. You can read the post it note on the mirror. You can drink the bottle of water that you set out. You can write in your journal that you put in place on the table in the kitchen. You can pull on those exercise tights that you laid out. You can spend an hour getting things done. And if this sounds great, but you're sitting there going, but, Mel, I'm not married to or dating or living with anybody that's a morning person. And I have not seen a morning routine since high school when I was forced to get out of bed because of my parents. Don't you worry. Your friend Mel Robbins is here to help you. I believe so much in the power of mastering your mornings, of being able to get out of bed, that I want to help you do this. How about for five days in a row you and I wake up together? How about I support you in getting up and not hitting the snooze button, getting up and feeling more energized, getting up and getting the 30 minutes, the hour that you deserve to start chipping away at these changes that you want to make to put these systems in place. You do not have to do this so alone. And so here's how I want to support you. I want to be there for you for the next five days. Because for the next five days, I want you to put this advice that you've just listened to into action. This is not a listening podcast. This is a doing podcast. So let's do something together. Go to melrobbins.comwakeup that's melrobbins.com wakeup. I have a five day free challenge where I will show up in your inbox as soon as you sign up for this and for five days in a row, I am going to coach you, support you, cajole you, and kick your ass out of that bed every single morning so that you can have the time and the energy that you deserve to make these changes happen in your life. That's what I wanna do. This is free. You deserve this. You're gonna love it. You're gonna join tens of thousands of people who are going through it right now. And I cannot wait to wake up with you starting tomorrow morning. Okay, good. And honestly, getting up earlier so that I could get organized, this has been the secret to my second attempt at 75 hard. And look, I get it. I'm only six days in. I'm working these systems that I just shared with you like a mother, let me tell you. But getting up earlier, getting organized, getting a start on the day, this has been the secret. Because six days in, last time was about when I quit. I'm like, this is too. I can't do, I can't fit this in. I want it bad. Six days in, this feels not easy, but it feels like, okay, I got this, I got my systems, I got my head down. I'm just going to keep on plugging away at this. I'm getting the photo done, I'm getting the outside exercise done. I'm getting that done in the morning. And look, it's not a cakewalk, but it's getting done. And here's one more bonus that I want to give you, okay? You want to supersize all this. Really want to get outside of yourself. You really want to be an outy organizer when it comes to changing habits? Holy cow. Could you please stop doing this in your head alone and get out there and get a friend and do this with. Whether you are texting somebody every day to check in or you're jumping on peloton and you're high fiving people or you're in a Facebook group, I gotta tell you, the power of a community of people, whether it's your sisters or your high school friends or it's your neighbors or it's a group of strangers that are organizing themselves on a text chain. It's incredible. So Chris is doing 75 hard for now, the third time. It's not even like a challenge for him. This is just his core habits. And he is leading a huge group of people through this from around the world. And he has this amazing text chain going on. WhatsApp from people around the world. So every single day, when I wake up, after I look in the mirror and I give myself a high five and I check the list and I start checking things off, when I finally look at my phone and I see what's going on in this WhatsApp group, it's freaking unbelievable. It is so motivating to see other people outside me, outside of my little tiny town here in southern Vermont, outside of my own little brain, outside of my own little bullshit, seeing all these other people, people out there doing it. In fact, just two days ago, there was a woman in Iran on this WhatsApp text chain with a video on her morning walk out in a park in Iran, like, just talking about how motivating it is, especially with what's going on in her country, with women's rights to be focused on behavior changes that she can make to tap into the power in herself. So when I'm sitting here in the pouring rain in Vermont, bitching about stupid things, it's sort of like, oh, for God's sakes, Mel, get over yourself. Get your ass out there. Stop chirping about the stupid stuff that you know, give me a break. Doing it with people in an online group, doing it with friends in a text group chat, doing it with family members. That's what it's all about. The encouragement of people outside of you will tap into the crazy awesome intrinsic motivation inside of you for why you're doing this. I know. You're welcome. It's so good, isn't it? Super simple. Six simple systems to make you an Audi organizer. And with simple systems, you're going to learn very quickly. Oh, my God. I'm not the problem. The issue was I was in, in my head. And once I got out of my head and I got all the bullshit I'm not supposed to do out of my house and out of my vision, and I put it right in front of my face and I got one or two or three or 100 other people to do this with me. I feel fucking awesome. And I love that for you because you deserve to feel awesome and so do I. So how about we make each other a promise? Let's just keep chipping away at this day by day. Let's focus on some systems. If you have great ideas for systems, would you share them? Please tag the podcast online. Share about what you're learning online. I would love to hear. I would love to learn from you in terms of my own arsenal of systems because you're probably way more creative than I am. So you got everything you need. I want you to try these systems. I want you to let me know how they're going to. Do not forget that I am going to be there to wake up with you five days in a row if you go to melrobbins.com wakeup and get your butt into this challenge so I can challenge you to be your best. And one more thing. In case nobody else tells you, I want to tell you I love you. I believe in you and I believe in your ability to get out of your fucking head and to create these systems to support the changes that you want to make. Cuz you deserve that. That's right. You heard me say that. You deserve that. All right, go do it. I love you. Oh, one more thing. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician or professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional stitcher.