Mastering Headlines: Watch Me Critique 7 Ads LIVE!

What does it take to write an ad, headline or subject line that's impossible to ignore? Come along with me as I take you through one of my favorite copywriting exercises ever. I'm gonna let you look over my shoulder as I critique copy from this ad and six other variations of it submitted by you, the Posse community. What made them great, what left me wanting more, and what would make them even more powerful? Keep watching. Hey Posse, what's up? It's Alex. If you've been following me on Instagram, LinkedIn or even here on YouTube for a while, then you have probably seen my regular make it Hotter posts where I find an ad, headline or subject line and put it out to you, the Posse community, to. Yep, you guessed it. Make it Hotter. Not only is this one of my favorite ways to practice, but it's also a really great way to see how other copywriters think, which ultimately helps you better understand why certain things work and why certain things don't. And the best part of this exercise for me is I get to play Posse Prop and critique the top voted submissions. So in today's video, I'm going to take you through one of my recent editions of make it Hotter and break down my critiques of each ad point by point. Is your copy featured? Key. Keep watching to find out. But first, let's take a look at this post where I asked the Posse community to make this Asana ad even hotter. So this ad is for a tool that helps individuals, teams and organizations track their projects to do lists and workspaces. It's the tool that I use in my business. So here is their original ad copy. Just because you've written down your to do list doesn't mean it's useful. 15 secrets for making a To Do List that actually Works Learn more. Okay, okay. It's not bad, but I got to admit, I kind of like the pacified versions a lot better. And before I get to my critique of your submissions, first let's critique Asana's original copy. What worked, what was lacking, and what do I think? Obviously, is this subjective and biased, but what do I think could be better? Now, the first thing I notice is how short this copy is. The entire body of this ad is really just the hook, and short copy can work extremely well, especially when the ad is directed towards a more aware, aware audience. Like I said, I use this tool, so it's, you know, I'm a pretty aware audience. For a totally unaware audience, this short copy might not work as well because an unaware audience needs more education and trust building, because they really want to know, like, who you are and what you're all about before they go all the way. Right? So let's just assume that this ad was in fact written for a warm or hot audience who already knows what asana is and what it generally does. It is a project management tool. So even though this audience is hot, this copy is still very short, which, again, again, isn't bad. But it does make your job as a copywriter a lot harder because you have to pack a super powerful punch in just a limited number of words, which means every single word needs to count. So let's take a look at the hook. Just because you've written down your to do list doesn't mean it's useful. So this is actually what I call the challenge belief hook. What they're doing here is they're giving an audience sort of that sense of validation about something they might be struggling with. And they're doing that by challenging a common belief or confirming a misconception. In this case, it's that writing down a to do list isn't actually helping you accomplish anything. Right? I mean, you're just writing a list so when their ideal customers read this copy, they're like, yes, I'm validated. I knew it. I knew to do lists were dumb and a total waste of time. So I actually think this is a really great hook, but I don't love that it just ended there. I really would have loved to see maybe another sentence that piques the interest of the reader and opens a loop to make them to read more. So maybe something like, here's what you should be doing instead. Or click below if you're ready to change that. Honestly, just a couple of more words could have made this ad a lot more compelling and maybe gotten more, you know, scrollers to stop and then read the actual headline. And the CTA, which is at the bottom of the ad, 15 secrets for making a To do list that actually works with Learn more as the cta. So, like I said, I think it's actually pretty good. It clearly conveys what the reader will learn if they click that link. They will learn 15 secrets for making a to do list that actually works. Okay, great. However, I think they could have made that just a little bit stronger by incorporating some more power words maybe into this end goal that the audience is looking for. Right. Like a to do list that actually works is okay. But what about 15 secrets to help you dominate your to do list? That word dominate, you know, for the right audience is A great power word. And this communicates a stronger benefit than just that actually works, right? Or maybe 15 secrets to boost your productivity. Right? Making it more personal, making it about the reader. Again, this is communicating that main benefit that the audience is likely looking for, which is to become more productive. So the ad was good, but let's see what the posse thinks. Now, if you are practicing alongside this video, here's a quick recap of my three step formula for writing a hot headline. And don't worry about taking notes, because at the end of this video, I have a free guide for you that breaks down each one of these steps. So you can go ahead and grab that for free and it'll help you write perfect headlines. All right, Now, a hot headline should do these three things. One, hook attention. Right? So start with a concept or an idea. Idea that grabs the reader's attention either by provoking an emotion like nostalgia, fear, FOMO or joy, or promising some sort of a desired benefit or maybe communicating a usp. Right? That's the unique selling proposition. All right, the next step is to open a loop. You want to pique curiosity and incentivize your audience to read further. And lastly, you want to target your audience, making it crystal clear who you are speaking to by calling out a clear problem or a desired benefit. All right, let's not wait another second. Let's take a look at the posse submissions along with my notes and critiques of them. These six ads were selected at random right here from the YouTube community. And you guys, we had a ton of submissions. So big thank you to everyone who participated in this exercise. Keep participating. You never know when your copy might be selected for a critique in one of my future videos. All right, now let's take a look. All right, the first submission starts with why your to do list suck and how to unthink suck them. So I actually really, really love this hook. It's a great way to capture attention and then immediately open a loop. I mean, everyone knows what suck and how to unsuck something means, so great job on that one. Then you go on to say, let's be real. Scribbling down tasks doesn't mean that you'll actually do them. Your brain's already zooming out before you even unclick the pen. I love that visual. But what if your to do list worked for you instead of against you? So I really, really, really like this. Like, you are totally relating to the audience's pain here. Your brain is already zooming out before you unclick the pen. Like I said that unclicking of the pen is like, so visceral. I can absolutely see myself doing that. I wonder if there's a better word, though. Instead of zooming out, maybe zoning out is more applicable. Zooming out kind of implies, like you're taking a high level view, which might be true, but I think zoning out feels more relatable. Like you click, unclick the pen and then you're like, like totally zoning out, right? Then you go on, say, these 15 asana secrets will turn your list into a weapon that fuels action, not empty checkboxes. Again, I'm loving the descriptive copy. You're using a lot of powerful words. I specifically love fuels action and not empty checkboxes. Those are great benefits. I don't love the word weapon, though. Turn your list into a weapon just feels a little bit out of place and, like, a bit aggressive to me. But maybe you can kind of actually embed another benefit in there by saying something like, turn your list into a reliable system or something that implies like, ease or some sort of mechanism that makes it feel like it's done for you. Right? And then finally you end with unsuck your list now. Get you done for real. Click here. Brilliant. I love how you tied the open loop from the beginning of the ad into the end with unsuck your list now. I'm not sure get shit done for real is necessary. Also, as much as I like to curse, Facebook doesn't really like it when you curse in their ads. So maybe leave that one out and then, you know, your CTA of click here. I think that's fine. I think learn more might be a little bit more powerful on that one, but overall, great job on that submission. All right, next one. You start with doom scrolling your to do list. Super relatable. I love that you applied like doom scrolling like you do on Instagram to your long list. It makes it feel long too, which I think is genius. Right? Every human has definitely doom scrolled their to do list. Then you go on to say, optimize your task management with these 15 hacks so you can turn your to do into all done. I love the alliteration of like the to do all done. I think that's really, really, really powerful. It's a teeny bit wordy. I think you could probably replace that so you can just with the word and so it would sound like, optimize your task management with these 15 hacks and turn to do into all done. I'm also a little bit unclear if that was meant to be part of the body copy of the ad or the headline like at the bottom of the ad. But I think this would work well as of like the text copy above the ad immediately after the hook. I really love optimize your task management too. I think it's going to speak to a certain type of a business owner who's looking to optimize. So I think that one is really, really great. I also love the before after bridge. Like I mentioned the to do to. All done. We can like picture how that feels, right? It's like the ugh to like. Yes, yes. So the only thing I would say that's missing is the headline at the bottom of the ad with the cta and I think learn more would work great for this ad. So well done you guys. All right, posse, submission number three. Tired of your to do list? Feeling endless and unproductive. Let's change that. So again, love this hook. I think it's great. Very relatable. Feeling endless is exactly how I feel about my to do list most days. And I love how you opened a loop and said let's change that, implying, hey, like, we can actually help you and is enticing for people to keep reading to find the solution. Not sure unproductive is the best word to describe a list. You want to make sure that you're not personifying an inanimate object. Sometimes that can really work. But really it's like the person that's unproductive as opposed to the list being unproductive. Or at least that's just where my brain goes. But I think you could use another word like hopeless maybe. And then you're using an alliteration of endless and hopeless. Again, just an idea. Like I said, subjective. Totally biased. So I think you're, you're doing great. You go on to say, discover 15 proven strategies to create a to do list that actually gets things done stress free. Get started. Now, I'm assuming that you intended to make that part of the headline at the bottom of the ad. And if so, it's actually really, really long to be used in that. In that place. So let's just take one second to talk about the anatomy of a meta ad. There's actually really strict character limits that you can work with. So with the primary text, as meta calls it, you know, that's like the, the body copy that usually goes right under the name of the company. And then you have the ad text and then you have the imagery with the call to action. You know, you can put as much copy as you want in that body copy in that ad text. And then that first line of that is what I call your hook. So that's really what, like, draws people in. But then you have to be careful because after the first 125 characters of that, it's actually truncated under a. Read more. Which is annoying. So you really want to make sure those first 125 characters are, like, super juicy. That's why your hook is so important. But then for your. For your headline, which is actually at the very bottom of the ad, if you keep scrolling all the way past the imagery, right to where the CTA is, that's the headline, and you only have 40 characters. And so you have a headline that is 97 characters, which is too long for that. Right. So you might want to shorten it a bit. But I really love that you added the word stress free. So maybe you could just shorten this to 15 strategies for a Stress Free to do list. I think that would be pretty good. I think the CTA get started is awesome. All right, let's move on to number four. You guys are doing so great. This one leads with ever wonder why to do list never work Great. Asking a question is a really great way to open a loop. And so you're using a, you know, a rhetorical question type of an open loop here. However, just like the original ad, I would really love to get just a little bit more context here. This doesn't alone make me want to keep reading, so it's. It's leaving me wanting more. So see how you can maybe expand on that. Try these 15 secret tricks that'll make your to do list work like a productivity powerhouse. So again, just going off of the original ad, I'm assuming that that's meant to be the headline at the bottom, which is too long. So just another note to be careful there. Productivity powerhouse is great. I really, really like that. But I feel like it works better to describe, like, a person, right? Like, you can become a productivity powerhouse rather than using it to describe a list. So maybe you can change the headline into, like, 15 secrets to become a Productivity powerhouse. Just again, another idea. And then make sure to add a CTA at the end, and you are good to go. All right, next up, number five. Writing tasks down doesn't mean they'll get done. It's not bad. You know, you're reusing the original hook. You know, just shortening it up a bit, which is sometimes our job as copywriters is just to take what works and Then see if we can tighten it up and make it shorter and make it more punchy and powerful. Right. Don't let your list become a stack of missed deadlines. I really love that it's powerful because we can all feel like, ooh, a missed deadline. We can feel what it feels like. I feel that more than just not getting something done, a missed deadline implies letting people down. That sucks. Right. So to be honest, I would actually use that as the opening line of the copy and just eliminate the first line altogether because it's. It's, like, a lot stronger, in my opinion. Then all you have to do is shorten the transition line of copy to an open loop to get the audience to keep reading, and then you end with get 15 insider tips to make your to do list unstoppable. Again, you might want to shorten that up a bit, but I do really love the word unstoppable. But it could just be something like, make your to do list unstoppable. Remember, we're. We're constrained by the character limit there, and then change the CTA to maybe learn how. I think that would be a great continuation of the headline, and it would flow really nicely. All right, moving on to the last one. Are you always writing down your to do list but never getting through it? This is great. It's simple, but it really communicates the big problem. Like, yeah, that happens all the time. Like, at the end of the week, I'm like, oh, then I have to carry it through to the next week. Right. So great job there. Here are 15 powerful secrets to creating a list that actually works. Let me show you how. Again, I love this. And if you are intending for that to be the headline and the CTA at the bottom, that's fine. But I actually think it would work really well to have that part, like, of the body copy of the ad. It would make the ad a little longer than the original, which is totally fine. But I think it adds more context, and it kind of communicates a promise, and it opens a loop with the. Let me show you how. The only thing you want to be careful about is, remember, this ad is coming from asana. It's coming from a brand, not a person. So using me might imply, like, who's me? Like, who. Like, who's talking versus us, which is, you know, what brands tend to do because they're talking more from a brand perspective, not a person. So again, it's like a teeny, tiny little difference, but it might just create just enough confusion that someone's like, wait a second, who are they talking about? Who are they right now? All you need to do if that was the body copy of your ad is just to add that final headline and CTA and this ad is like totally good to go. All right, that's it. Everyone did such a great job on this exercise. Now, if you want to play along in the next edition of Make It Hotter, be sure to follow me on social media. I post these exercises regularly here on YouTube as well as on Instagram and LinkedIn. And if you like this video and you wanna see more in depth critiques like this in the future, give me a thumbs up below and make sure to subscribe to my channel. Don't forget to hit that bell to be notified when my next video goes live. And if you want a copy of my free hot headline guide so you can learn exactly how to write headlines that grab attention and stop scrollers in their tracks, you can grab a copy of that in the description box below. Thanks for watching. I will see you next week with a brand new video. Until then, I'm Alex. Ciao for now. All right, guys, if you enjoyed that video, make sure to check out the next one from me right here. And you can click right here to get a free gift. If you want your ads to convert better, then keep watching this video because I'm going to reveal the number one strategy that most people completely overlook. And no, it has nothing to do with your offer, your landing page, or your ad budget. It all comes down to something so freaking simple. But it could change everything for you. Keep watching.