TRUTH BOMB: The Real Reason You Can't Find Purpose (& 3 Things To Do Instead)

Today, I am getting real about finding your purpose, including the number one mistake that people make that often leaves them feeling overwhelmed, lost and confused. And then we'll talk about the three things that you can do to get back on track. Hey posse, what's up? It's Alex. If you're new to the crew, welcome. This channel is here to bring you the latest in marketing, copywriting and freelancing tips with a little sprinkle of inspiration and motivation every now and then. So for more videos like this, go ahead and subscribe below. And don't forget to ring that bell to be notified when my next video goes live. Today's video is a little bit different from my normal tutorial, and that's because I want to get real with you for just a hot minute. So I've been a copywriter in the personal development space for over 10 years now and I got a bit of a beef to pick with this whole idea of finding your purpose. Or at least how glamorized the idea has become recently. While I truly believe that we all have a purpose, I think it evolves over time based on your current set of values, needs and desires. I don't think it's just one thing like the holy grail of happiness and if you can't find it, you're clueless, worthless or hopeless. No, of course it's easy to think and sell that finding your purpose is black and white. Either you found it or you haven't. But I think we're all smart enough to realize that nothing is that simple, especially when it comes to us weird, complex, multidimensional and constantly evolving beings. We are as humans. So the thing about purpose that the mainstream isn't telling you. And again, this is just my opinion, but that purpose isn't something you magically find and then you're done and you've made it right. It is not a gold chalice hidden deep in a mountainside temple, nor will it just dawn on you in a single serendipitous moment that is Hollywood's version of purpose. And while I'm sure it's true that some people do discover their purpose in these quick life defining moments, for the majority of us it's usually much less glamorous than that. And it happens gradually and very organically over time, not just magically after reading some five step purpose book, I believe that purpose is something that reveals itself to you as you continue to step into the person you're meant to become. Right? It evolves over time. It grows and changes just as you grow and change. So in today's video, I'm going to share with you three things that you can do to start exploring your purpose and maybe stepping into who you are meant to become. And then at the end of this video, I'm going to talk about the number one most detrimental mistake that I see a lot of people making when it comes to this whole finding your purpose stuff. All right, now let's get started with tip number one. And that is to get uncomfy. Yes. Get uncomfortable. Step outside your comfort zone. Don't be afraid of trying something new. One of my favorite quotes ever is self doubt is the killer of dreams. Oftentimes we confuse being inexperienced at something with not being good at something, so we don't even try out of fear of failing or not being good enough. But like one of my students, Missy, so brilliantly once said, don't be the one to tell yourself no. Try it and let other people be the ones to tell you no. And hear me out. Fear is normal and natural when you're venturing into the unknown. Once you let that fear get in your way and prevent you from trying that new thing you're interested in, well, then you're guaranteed to not succeed. You won't ever know if that's your purpose because you never really even tried. Because you can't succeed at something if you don't even try. So we really need to start leaning into the things that scare you. Scare us. Oftentimes the things that scare us are the very things that we are meant to do to grow and push us into that path, discovering our purpose. One of my favorite quotes. Well, another one of my favorite quotes by Joe Vitale is a great goal. Should scare you a little and excite you a lot. And to me, that has always been the litmus test as to whether or not I'm going to try something. So I'll give you an example. When I first found out about the job at Mindvalley, the internship that I applied for over 10 years ago, everything in me was making up reasons why it wouldn't work. It was in Malaysia. They were only hiring super smart tech tech wizards. There was no way that I would get the job. I had a university degree and was planning to go to law school. And how would I give up law school to go overseas? I had a car, I had commitments. Right. And no matter where you're at in your life, it's really easy for us to negotiate with ourselves and come up with reasons to not do something. In fact, it is way Easier to come up with reasons to not do something than to come up with reasons to do something. So anytime you're feeling that little like, ooh, no, there's no way I can do it, ask yourself, is that true? Is that really true? Can I not do it? Or is there a way that I can lean into this and give it a try? You never know what is on the other side. So do me a favor. Get uncomfy, lean in, and, hey, you'll find out really fast if that is your path or not. And if it's not, you pivot, and you keep on going. All right, now, tip number two is to. Is to follow your natural interests and talents. So this is an exercise that I have all. All of my students do. Make a list of everything you enjoy doing and also a list of what you're great at. And before you say, alex, I am not good at anything, I'm gonna stop you right there. This is your moment to do a little, like, self brag session. Nobody else has to see this note or this list, but you write down what you're great at and what you enjoy doing. Now, like I said, everyone's good at something. So think of the things people compliment you on. Think of how you feel at your natural best. Think about things that you've done before that have gotten results. Because here's the thing. Purpose is born from passion, and passion is born from interest. That's right. It might not be very romantic, but before you find your purpose, you really have to know what you enjoy doing and what you're naturally talented at. So ask yourself, what's an interest or a hobby that you keep going back to again and again and again? What things do you do where you lose track of time completely? Once you have that list of interests, start pursuing them, invest in them. Surround yourself with teachers, mentors, and peers who do the very same thing, and eventually, you'll really start to lean towards one or two of your interests over time. And then, my friends, you have what is called momentum. You learn, you do. You learn, you do. You gain experience. You get better. You get farther down that path. That momentum of interest creates passion. And then that passion can lead to a purpose that is so fulfilling and exciting and maybe not one that you saw from the very beginning. All right, now, tip number three, and this one's probably my favorite, is to think beyond you or think beyond yourself. Don't make your purpose about you. Of course it's about you. It's your purpose. But every job in the world can be reframed into an act of service that is bigger than yourself. That's right. You don't have to solve world hunger in order to have an epic purpose. Teachers, nurses, marketers, lab technicians, customer support workers, personal trainers, plumbers, chefs, snowplow drivers, I don't know. Every single one of those jobs serves a higher purpose. And the difference between the person who feels fulfilled in one of those roles and a person who feels unfulfilled is purpose. Do they believe they're serving a greater purpose? Do they see the positive impact and change they're making in the world, even if it's just in the world of one person? Once you shift your perspective from personal gratification and wanting to make more money or trying to satisfy family demands or expectations to a perspective of living with a purpose to serve others, everything changes. And I'm not saying you shouldn't care about money or you shouldn't care about pleasing your family. Those are all really important things. But as soon as you step out of yourself and think of the bigger picture, all of those things that cause a lot of anxiety within us actually disappear. Because anxiety. Anxiety is just a fear of something that hasn't even happened yet. So if we can stay connected to that bigger vision, we can accomplish a lot and we can move forward in spite of those fears. It's actually that simple. Spend less time thinking about yourself and more time thinking about how you can help others. Once you take yourself out of the equation, you will be so surprised at how immediate your sense of purpose will really start to evolve. When you start to see the impact you're having, the lives of others. It doesn't matter if you're a millionaire investor, art dealer, gourmet, baker. What matters is that you're doing what you love and that you're helping others along the way. And again, you do not have to be perfect or the best at it. All that matters is that you are giving your best. Now, let's talk about the number one mistake that I see people making when it comes to finding their purpose, and that is falling into a pattern of jealousy. So there's a really big difference between healthy comparison and jealousy or envy. Healthy comparison can inspire, right? You can model those who you would like to be like, but jealousy doesn't do anything but sabotage your success. So whatever you do, stop looking at what other people are doing or what purpose they're fulfilling and wishing that you had the exact same thing, because everyone's purpose and talents look different. Even if two people are both great copywriters, they're not going to be a great fit in the exact same way for the same audience. So find your lane and stick with it. Remember, before you can be really good at something, before you can truly find and own that purpose, you have to be really bad at it first. Trust the process. Nobody is perfect on their first try. It's just impossible. So have fun. Be you. Be messy. Make mistakes. Right. Help people. And hopefully that if you focus on those things, it really takes the pressure off finding your purpose. And that way you're just having fun exploring these three things. Lean in. Enjoy. I hope you guys enjoyed this video. I will see you next week with a brand new one. Until then, I'm Alex. Ciao for now. All right, guys, if you enjoyed that video, make sure to check out the next one from me right here. And you can click right here to get a free gift. If you want to start a new business, quit your job, help more people, and have More fun in 2021, you are in the right place. Let's plan your ultimate comeback, shall we? Keep watching to learn five simple mindset shifts that literally changed my life.