Episode 313: Benefits of Business Coaching, with Alisa Cohn

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Good morning and welcome wicked smart listeners. Thanks for joining me this week. This is Chris Prefontaine again with another amazing guest and whether you're driving or sitting focused and listening to the show, I encourage you to literally listen for the nuggets. Listen for the possible action items, the aha's that you can utilize to either create more deals with three paydays if you're in our niche or generally improve your life or your bank account. No matter where you are operating in whatever niche and whatever business. Now, be sure to listen at the end for the amazing gifts we give away every episode. The winners come from reviews from people just like you, the ratings and the reviews that get sent in. The team randomly picks one every single show. So two a week going out there. Here's this week's review. Great show. Your real estate information is bar none. I love shows that take you fundamentally to the next level. That is what your podcast does. If you are an expert or beginner in the real estate market, this is the show to level up your knowledge. With the tools I have gained from this show, I gleaned a strategy to 20 times my real estate investments. Thanks. Thank you guys. Well that's awesome. I want to know. I definitely can't wait to see who that is. I'll give you some goodies to go ahead and attend some events and get your hands on some products and I want to get a chance to meet you if you're hearing this. Okay, buckle in here while you bring in the next Masters class. Today I get to spend some time and hang out with Alyssa Cohn. I stumbled upon Alyssa by actually grabbing her book. She was named the top startup coach in the World at the Thinkers50 Marshall Goldsmith Global Coaches Awards in London. Elise has been coaching startup founders to grow into world class CEOs for nearly 20 years. She's the author of From Startup to Grownup. That's the book that I ended up stumbling upon. A one time startup cfo, strategy consultant and current angel investor and advisor. She was actually named also to the number one global guru of startups in 2021. This is current stuff. And she's also worked with startup companies such as Venmo, Etsy, DraftKings, the Wirecutter, a whole bunch more. She's also coached CEOs and C Suite executives at Enterprise CL, such as Dell, Hitachi, Sony, IBM, Google, Microsoft. Again, I could go on and on and on. Amazing, amazing background. All right, Alyssa, with that as a backdrop, welcome to the show.

Thank you so much, Chris. I'm so excited to be here.

Yeah, we're gonna have some fun. I. As I just said in the intro, I stumbled upon From Startup to Grown up, your newest book, which we'll dive into here. But what a cool book and what a. Just what a cool journey you've had. So I always like to kind of start with that journey, actually. So maybe kind of a 10,000 foot view of how you landed here. Meaning I know you've been. When I researched a bunch of things online, cpa, cfo, strategist, like all those things. All the things you did. How did you move out of corporate? How'd you land here to start?

Yeah. So I was in business school and I specifically was focused on, when I went to business school, I was trying to focus on why people sort of do things in service of the company mission or sadly don't. And when I was in business school at Cornell, there's a lot of, I guess, weight around finance and accounting and strategy. So I ended up focusing on finance and accounting and strategy. And I exited to PricewaterhouseCoopers, and I was on the five year track to partner. And PwC is a great firm. But I have to say I had a little bit of a moment of truth, realizing this is not it. You know, I sort of. I woke up one morning and thought, I hope I get the flu so I don't have to go to work tomorrow. And I got the flu, so be careful what you wish for. And I just realized this is not it. And I had to seek what I wanted. And the music in my head was to make a difference, that the work of my hands mattered. And I looked around for, you know, a lot of things that I wanted to do. And I met a coach and I was like, duh, that is what I want to do, like violins played in my head. But I was pretty young to be a coach. So I ended up, as you said, going into the startup world. I was the CFO of one startup, headed strategy of another startup, and that all imploded. And I said, okay, I'M going to become a coach now.

That's really cool. So I got a couple of things I want to talk about within that and then we're going to take a different path. First of all, when you say coach, you've got all kinds of different wicked smart listeners here. And I'd love to know what you think of the importance of coaching in general. Forget real estate and forget just in general the importance of coaching. Because you just said you found a coach now of course you considered the number one coach in the world. So what, like talk about the importance of coaching?

Yeah, well, I think coaching is essential. You know, the way I look at it and I think a lot of people look at it is if you're as you get to be a better athlete, when you're young and you're a good athlete, you have a coach. As you get better and move into the world class range, you get more coaches, not fewer. The idea of a coach is someone who is a sounding board, somebody who can help you step back and look at your own work life or your life and have more perspective about it. And also certainly someone in my case who has trod the path before you. So it's extremely helpful to have that resource, that sort of secret weapon on, on your side. So I really think that anybody who doesn't have a coach is like doing things the hard way and they could do things with like, with like almost like with one, one hand tied behind your back. You could be so much more effective with both hands.

Yeah, I kind of want to shake people sometimes because I look back to my journey was like from 91 ish, I got out of college in 88, but 91 ish from then on I always had a coach. Except for two times. 94, 95 ish in 08. Both those times I got a little cocky saying I got it okay, I guess I got to figure it out. And both those times I get slammed financially because I didn't have a coach. It's amazing when I look back, I didn't get that till like three years ago. So I take it you've always had to coach yourself too.

Yeah, I absolutely. I have. Again, I have more coaches, not fewer. I have my own coach and then I have a number of peer coaches I talk to on a regular basis. It helps me have perspective, it helps me get new ideas, it helps me bounce things off of people. And there's just so much value in both just getting input from different perspectives and also having safe space to just sort of talk through what you're thinking, and that's going to help you make better decisions. And counterintuitively, it actually helps you make decisions faster.

Yeah, I mean, success leaves clues, right? There's literally no reason to try to reinvent the wheel here.

Right? Exactly.

So let's talk about your books. I think I can go in so many different avenues from that, from startup to grown up. Can you talk about what sparked it and who. Who that is for the most? I think that'll spark some more questions here.

Yeah, definitely. So I wrote my book From Startup to Growing up, because I would go into situations, large companies, small companies, you know, startups or family businesses, and I would ask questions like, where's your leadership team? Or I'd observe meetings and I'd say, how do you guys think about meetings? Or I would sort of see people get in their own way and not manage their sort of psych, their psychology, their. Their mental state. And I always wish I had a book to hand them, like, here, read this. This is going to help you prevent preventable errors, which is really the key to speed in many ways and also one of the keys to success in a more rapid way. There was not such a book. And so I thought, well, I've got a lot of experience here and a lot of insight. I'm going to write that book. So I wrote the book. You know, if you think about startup to grown up, it's sort of meant for founders. But everybody who's read it so far has said this is also the journey of leaders and also the journey of solopreneurs. Because it's really. It's divided into three sections that's about the experience we go through in terms of growth. It's about managing you, managing them, and managing the business. And all of us as we grow as leaders, as professionals, have to manage along those dimensions.

I love it and I hope the wicked smiles just heard what you said, the Solopreneur, because there's so many of them on here now and frankly, there's probably a whole bunch, I'm going to guess over 50%, maybe over 70% who are in corporate trying to make that kind of transition, if you will, to Solopreneur specifically in real estate. Do you have any kind of tidbits or nuggets for them specifically before we kind of transition?

Oh, definitely. I always have many, many, many nuggets. So first of all, whenever you're trying to do something that's different, you've got to spend some time in. Spend space writing out what that looks like. Doesn't have to be this whole long day, long retreat, but take 10 minutes, couple times a week and really write out the vision of that future about what it looks like when it's happening. It might be three years from now, maybe 10 years from now, it might be a year from now. So write down the date, write down sort of what you're doing all day, really get solidified on that vision. And now look at your experience now what do you really have to do kind of step by step to get there and write down some of the more important milestones. For example, if you've got some financial stuff, personally, you've got to figure out, think about how am I going to figure out my financial stuff and get that in order and then make a plan to do that. If you think like I need to get more experience and more education, fantastic. Make a plan to think about and to actually take action on what additional steps you need in terms of education, in terms of skill building, and then always think about who can help me. Your network is everything in terms of helping you get where you want to go. So who are the people to bring into my network today? So they'll be helpful to me a year from now, three years from now, five years from now.

Okay, this is great. So I just thought of this as you were going through that sort of mini journey. I've heard you on different interviews and I love them all, frankly. I heard you talk about scaling the company, scaling leadership, but I definitely heard you in more than one occasion talk about not just scaling their leadership, but themselves, if I heard correctly. So I've had different people on the show, like Brian Tracy said, well, Chris, you got, we teach mental pillar skill set and systems. And I said, what do you think? He said, oh, 90, 95% is the mental side. So when you talk about scaling companies, scaling leadership, scaling yourself, how important is the scaling of self and leadership, those inner qualities?

Yeah, the scale of self is everything. So I once worked with a client, this a number of years ago, and she wanted herself to job transition, not necessarily into real estate investing, but she definitely wanted to get out of corporate and do something very specific. So we talked about it, we got her ready, that's fine. And then there was an opportunity that she had to meet some people inside of the company that she wanted to do that she actually wanted to get to. And also they had job openings. Right. So that, I mean, it's like a miracle that never happens. Exactly like that. So, you know, I helped her kind of get ready to think about how she was going to go to that event and how she was going to maybe follow up with a cover letter and resume the whole thing. And then I checked in with her a week later and she was saying to me, I'm not, I'm not going to go to that event. They're not going to want me, they're not going to appreciate my background, they're not going to understand me. And so I kind of thought, oh my gosh, you've already, you know, kind of given, you've already given up and you haven't even gotten off the couch. And nothing was different except her mental state. So I helped her think about how trying is actually very helpful and even if you try it, you fail. It doesn't matter because it brings you closer. And it's only a few hours of her time. So we got her there and wouldn't you know it, ta da. She got the job. Like, it's kind of amazing to me how much people talk themselves out of trying for their reasons. And I would say, if there's one piece of advice I would say to your audience, and really to everybody, is there's never harm in trying and putting one foot in front of the other. And recognize that if you're doing it right, you are going to approach many closed doors. That's okay because you will also approach open doors. And so if you find one open door for every 20 closed doors, that's okay. That's actually success. You've got to keep looking for those open doors.

So no, thanks for that candidness. I love it. So what would you say? I don't want to put words in your mouth. Would you say that mental piece is the most challenging piece when you talk about those, the different things of scaling?

Yeah, I think everything's mental because once, even when bad things happen, you know, I work with a lot of startups and let me tell you something, bad things happen every day. It's an extreme work environment, extreme highs and sadly, extreme lows. Even with the extreme lows. And I've been with companies that have had massive problems like, oh, we have to do all these layoffs, or oh, we lost this big customer. Oh, we, you know, this key executive who we're counting on has left everything is solvable by putting one foot in front of the other and thinking about, where am I, where am I going and how am I going to get there? What gets in the way of that rational thinking of that, you know, doing the hard work, putting one foot in front of the other is the Mental state, the mental chatter, the fear, the negative voices, the I can't do it, the imposter syndrome. It's not going to work out for me. We have to acknowledge as humans, we do have that. And then to your point, we have to manage that. All of us have to manage that. You've got to find tools to help you counteract those negative voices. Recognize also that you have to panic, that everything can be solved, one foot in front of the other. And then think about what are the actions I need to take rather than getting too worked up inside of your state.

Yeah. Love it, love it. I think it's undervalued and understated the whole mental piece. So. Awesome. Awesome.

Yeah.

Well, let me, I want to ask you where they can get the book, right? Probably everywhere. But where can I get the books? We don't forget that. And then I'll obviously throw it in the show notes.

Oh, well, thank you. Well, they can get the book wherever books are sold. In particular a place called Amazon.com you can also come to my, my website and you can download what I have in the back of the book, Chris, are scripts for delicate situations. So it's how do you have difficult feedback conversations with the people that you need to. How do you hold one on ones? How do you deliver bad news? So that's true for the folks that are, that are in the corporate environment, as you mentioned. And also if you go out on your own, trust me, you're going to have to have difficult conversations. You're going to have to also talk about values and you're going to have even one on ones and effective discussions. So I have scripts in the back of the book to help guide you in doing that. You can also come to my website, alyssacon.com scripts and that will give you additional scripts. My finding, Chris, is that people need a lot of help to get their mouth around the words. And so scripts really help you prepare and preparation leads you to success when you're having delicate discussions.

Super, super practical. So wicked. Smile listeners, please. I always say, what are your nuggets? What are your action steps? Or this is just passive listening. So go ahead and jump on Amazon or wherever else you want to go. And more importantly, Melissa's site, Alyssa's site. Sorry, Alyssa. So go and grab from startup to grownup. Super cool. What size companies, Alyssa, do you work with? Is it literally startup through what size? I'm curious about that.

Yeah, well, I work with sort of. You know, if I think about when I work with inside companies, I work with like two sides. I work with, you know, plenty of large multinationals. I've worked with Pfizer, with Google, with Dell, with IBM, with Sony, the New York Times, companies like that. And then when I work with startups, I would say I work with sort of, you know, a startup which is like 20, 30 people all the way through exit, which can often be 500 or 1000 people.

Awesome. That gives me context too. I love it. And obviously you've seen everything just by dabbling in those areas. Yeah, you asked me, this has nothing to do with business. You asked me, you said, I'm sure you're from Boston, probably because of my slight accent, which I don't think I have. Yeah, you were from Mass and you went to New York, but I'm not hearing any Mass accents. What happened?

Yeah, I know. You know, it's so funny. I grew up in a suburb of Boston called Holliston, Massachusetts, next door to Hopkinton, Massachusetts, which is about where the Boston Marathon starts. I do not know why I never got my Boston accent. My brother and I didn't. I think half the kids we grew up with did. But I will tell you, Chris, my mom had quite a Boston accent, but I never realized it. I never saw it until I was like in my early 20s and my mother was explaining something to somebody and she said about the Boston accent and she was telling me the story and she said, you know, so they said like, the Boston accent is pack the khan havid yad. Hahaha. And then she said what it really is. And this is her telling her what it really is. It's really pack the khan havid yad. I said, oh, you have a Boston accent, which I had never realized before.

Yeah, I didn't. I mean, you don't know your own, right? So when Kim and I used to travel, we've married 35 years now, when we travel, we'd think we're just being normal. People are like, where are you from? I don't even get that.

It's true, it's fun. It reminds me of home. Chris.

Yeah, no, I appreciate you saying that right at the beginning. Can you. I've got a few questions asked about kind of your day and more personal stuff. But first I heard you say something on one of the shows about startup. And then of course, mature businesses. What, what would you define the startups and the mature? Like what, what defines that and when does it mature? Does it matter? The industry, the niche, et cetera.

Yeah, I mean, it's an interesting question if I think about startups, I really think about venture backed, high growth, high scale or rapid scale businesses and at some point something happened. So when I was working with Venmo, you know, at some point Venmo got acquired by PayPal and Venmo is still kind of its own thing but like it became a mature business and there was a lot of corporate structure around it. If I think about, let's say Mobileye in Israel, that was a so called startup for 15 years until suddenly it went public. And so not so suddenly but like, you know, it's sort of like this journey of startups has to do more about a state of mind almost also again the kind of venture backed phenomenon. But at some point it's got to be a standalone business which means it's got to have operating profit, it's got to be feeding itself. It can't be getting funding from the outside at that point.

Very cool question about the current time frame right now meaning so so much virtual. We went from holding our events to with a week's notice going, oh, we're going to hold the event, but it's virtual. So everyone's pivoted. We've got employees now with phenomenal talent because it went virtual. Do you think it's staying like just comment on that whole scene from me if you would.

Yeah. It's been so much change and there's still a lot of change I think ahead of us. I think that people are accepting obviously much more remote work. And I think that because of the so called great resignation and people there's like sort of a talent shortage. Companies need to be more attentive and attuned to what employees want to. So I certainly think we're going to see remote and hybrid. A lot of companies went remote first during the pandemic. I think we're going to see though the value of in person interaction and I think the smart companies are going to be, I guess I would say intentional about how they think about in person interaction and think about not necessarily a daily trip to the office, but days that there's collaboration and structure around that. And I certainly think we're going to see a lot more flexibility and creativity in the way we meet.

Yeah, it's crazy like how much time we spend on it's why I just asked that and then I'll jump off of it. But like we have our December upside coming up and it's like this whole discussion with the team who's flying in, who's not. I quit. I can't make them so it's such a different environment now. It's all good. We boomed through it, so it's all good. I just wanted your thoughts on that, so I appreciate it.

Yeah, yeah.

So what does your day look like now, Alyssa? Just curious, like, just for the entrepreneurs out there, like, what does it look like? What's a day? What's the day in your world?

Well, I'm here at Intergalactic headquarters of Melissa Cohen Associates, Inc. Here by Lincoln center in New York. My day. My day starts pretty much routinely, so I focus on in the morning getting my head together by either journaling or doing some, like, breathing meditation. And then for me, my day starts when I work out. So I either run or I work out by myself with kettlebells. Or I have a coach, strength coach that I work out with, usually kettlebells. These days, we also work out remotely. Chris. That was like a whole different, whole new thing with the pandemic. And that helps me kind of fuel myself for the day. And then I have any number of things. So I'm doing my own podcast. It's called From Startup to Grown Up. The podcast. These days, I'm working on promoting my book, and so I'm on podcasts like this. I work with my clients these days in person in New York, and then, of course, on zoom or calls if they're outside of New York. And so it's sort of like this. This variety of things that I do. I might do an offsite. I have an off site coming up next week where I'm bringing the team together for one of the first times since we've sort of been back in person. And really, I think a lot about my day is really focused on how can I make a difference for other people in terms of my clients and their companies. And then also what do I need to do personally to advance my own career and my own mission. I love it.

And I. And I again, appreciate the personal share. You know, I caught just then a couple things. You said. You. You're doing a strength coach. So you have a coach that I first wrote down that. And then you said it's virtual. So I bet you. I'm just guessing, a whole bunch of people use that as an excuse not to have a coach or not to work out because they couldn't go to the gym. Right?

Yeah. So my coach is amazing. His name is Tom Lafera. Everyone should look him up. He's incredible. And I. He's so. By the way, it's like, don't do that, because I need more time from him. But I introduced him to a number of my friends in New York because he's so amazing. So he work out with them, and that was great. And then pandemic happened, and I was, like, not happy about working out with him on remote, you know, on video. But, like, that's life. And then someone said to me, oh, I'm just going to wait until we're able to work in person. I don't like it. It's not as good. And I said, well, all right. The way I think about it is I have two choices. I either work out with Tom remotely or I don't work out with Tom. And what I know about myself is I need the accountability. I can work out by myself once or twice a week, but I really like the accountability of working out with Tom also. Tom programs for me. He programs the workouts for me. He knows what he's doing. He's so knowledgeable. So that's what I said to her. I think everybody can decide, okay, I'm not going to work out remotely, which means I'm not going to work out. And that's not acceptable. We've got to figure out what can we do in light of the constraints that we are facing.

I love it. And it's Tom, if you don't mind. I know you want to have all this time, but it's Tom Lafera.

Tom Lafera, Yeah. L A F E R A. He's extremely gifted.

Love it. I'll look them up and I'll tell them not to steal too much time from you. As soon as everything went virtual and I couldn't go to Anytime Fitness, I literally just set it up in the basement, and I love it. So I'd love to bring in a. Bring on an extra coach. Thank you for that.

Yeah, yeah.

So it sounds like one of our. Our main purpose, not one of our in the company, is empowering individuals and families to live the life of their dreams. And it sounds like you're doing that, whether that's your purpose or not. Do you guys have a written purpose?

Well, my mission is to light 10,000 candles. And so my mission is to touch and light up everybody I'm in contact with. And my mission is to make a difference. So I really think a lot about that story of the star of the starfish. I'll just tell the story really quickly. Like a little kid is walking on the beach and wash up. On the beach is thousands and thousands of starfish. So the kids like, oh, they're gonna die. So the kid takes the starfish and throws it back, starts and throws it back, throws it back. Somebody comes along and says, you can't make a difference for all these starfish. And the kid picks up a starfish, throws it back in the water and said, I just made a difference for that starfish. So I think about myself is my mission is to be the person who can make a difference for that starfish.

I love it. Yeah, I love it. And even though I've heard that so many times, I just love you. I probably been I don't know how many years since I heard it. I love you sharing that. So thank you again, again. Who is. And I'm going to ask you to repeat your book in your podcast. Who is your favorite mentor to date? It doesn't have to be a name. Alyssa. More than, like, why is that? And you can share a name if you want, but why was that mentor your favorite, like, ever? To date?

My favorite mentor ever. And the person who has played the most significant impact in my life, in my career is Marshall Goldsmith, the legendary executive coach. Marshall Goldsmith, who I went to San Diego 16 years ago in part to meet him, and I met him 16 years ago, and he was kind enough to mentor me and bring me into a number of coaching engagements. He was working with and sort of. I won't even say teach me, but there's something about mentorship and apprenticeship, like, learn by doing. And watching him, and he's been so kind to me. And he's now built up, you know, for his legacy project, he's older now. He's built up his 100 coaches collective of the world's leading coaches. And being part of that has been an incredible gift in my life. But I would say that watching Marshall and the joy he takes in the work and the joy he takes in his clients, the way he coaches with so much love is amazing. And also, he's not a pushover. And seeing the way he pays it forward has inspired me to pay it forward.

Really, really cool. Really cool. You gave me some serious nuggets here. I'm scribbling in my journal.

Okay.

You're awesome, really. And affecting so many people and touching so many people and lighting so many candles. Can you make sure you share one more time your podcast? And by the way, is the podcast already live? Because you said it really quickly.

Right. So the podcast is called From Startup to Grown up, the Podcast, and it is launching October 15th. So I'm super excited about that. Maybe even October. Actually, October 11th. Sorry, we're launching as we speak you and I in October. I'm launching next week, October 11th and I've already talked to about 12. The focus is around 12 builders. So it's founders, investors, creatives, builders, anyone who's really thinking about going from startup to grown up. And I'm very excited to talk to people so to bring out their lessons so other people can use them as inspiration on their own journey from startup to grownup.

Love it. So that's super easy to remember from startup to grownup with the book and the podcast. Alyssa, thanks again. It was super cool to chat and I could chat for another couple hours and I'm sure I'll have some reasons to reconnect you. So thanks again. Appreciate it.

Thank you so much, Chris. It was great to talk.

Okay, Wicked Smile listeners, that wraps up our time together today with Alyssa. If you enjoy the show on any level, take a few seconds and rate and review it so we can get you into the weekly drawing. Just go ahead and copy and paste it. Send an email over to podcastmartrealestatecoach.com this week. Our drawing winner from the review I read earlier in the show is from CLN Shop. C as in Cat ln Shop. I'll tell you what, you just won. I love the 20 times that you pulled out of this show. So I want to make sure you get your hands on three, not one, but three of our products. Just go over to smartrealestatecoach.com take a look at what we've got there and let's let us help you get your hand on our digital product, a QLS foundational course. If you don't have that, and then there's some great, great mindset pieces in there. Because building this business, I don't care what business this is for you, building this business is going to take all avenues. It's going to take the skill sets, it's going to take the systems, it's going to take the mindset. And we've nailed those with all our products. I also want to invite you to be our guest with a a free ticket to our Wicked Smart Kickstart event that's going to be taking place on January 8th. Because every single one of you can get yourself set up at that event to have a major, major jump into 2022. Go ahead over. For more details, take a look@wicked smartkickstart.com it's a one day virtual event. Super simple. Okay, Wicked Smart listeners, I'm fully aware that you take 30 or so minutes out of your limited 10,080 every single week to listen to these shows and we don't take that lightly. We literally meet weekly to see how we can uplevel these types of interviews for you, bringing you variety of gu you different niches and we're not going to stop doing that. We're on a mission to do it more and more and more and up level constantly go off and make it an outstanding week, outstanding quarter in year and we'll be back with you on the next episode. Thanks for being on today with us again. Now just a brief thank you to our sponsor Paul Dion, our tax specialist and CPA who can service all states for all your accounting needs. You can find Paul in the sponsors section of smartrealestatecoachpodcast.com as well as the show notes.

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