8 Harsh Truths That I Know at 44 That I Wish I Knew in My 20s

When I was 20 years old, I was broke, overweight and hated my job. Today I run 100 million a year company in the best shape of my life and I love what I do. But if I had to give my 20 year old self honest advice to transform his life twice as fast, here's what I'd say. Welcome to the Martel Method. I went from rehab at 17 to building a $100 million empire and being a Wall Street Journal best selling author. In this podcast, I'll show you exactly how to build a life and business you don't grow to hate. And make sure you don't miss by subscribing to my newsletter@martell method.com the first piece of advice is you don't have to work harder, just work smarter. See, back when I started in business, I was working 80 to 100 hours a week to the point where my fiance left me. I was burning the candle at both ends. I thought the way you win is to go all in. And here's the challenge with that. Longer hours doesn't equal productivity. Now I work less than 40 hours and make 40 to 50 times more. See, the isn't to grind it out. The game is to do things that expand you, that push you, that scare you. When people say they're hustling and all they're doing is just working 16 hour days, they're not hustling because they're doing things that are simple and easy. If you want to grow your life and you want to grow your business, work on the business rather than in the business. Learn to build the machine, not be part of the machine. That's the game of buying back your time. Focusing on only the work that you like doing that makes you money. Anything else that's just busy work is actually gonna hold you back from achieving your goals. Most people just put their heads down and grind it out because that's all they know how to do. They feel like they're doing something which is better than nothing. When they're confused about the path forward, they go and reorganize their office supplies. They go and process their emails, they go and respond to messages on social media. Not saying that those things are bad. I'm just saying if that's what you've been doing for two, three, four, five, five years thinking you're going to get rich. That's not the winning strategy. Every time you wake up, you should ask yourself what scares me? What makes me feel uncomfortable, what gives me anxiety about what I'm about to do today? Because if it does, then you know you're on the right path. If what you're doing is the same thing you did last year, then I can tell you you're never going to be able to grow. Because if you want to grow, 80% of your calendar in 12 months has to be completely different than what it looks like today. Which brings us to number two, which is to create like you're rich, but spend like you're broke. Even when I was making millions a year, I was still only paying myself 50k a year. Why? I didn't need a lot to live. I was in my late 20s, I didn't have anybody else to impress and I just saved my money. It just felt like a better strategy than trying to expand my lifestyle to keep up to people that I didn't even know or honestly like to impress them with things that I didn't even need. So my whole philosophy now is to live on 10% of your income. I cause if you can go long periods of time delaying gratification, that is what's gonna allow you to win. Some of the wealthiest people, they didn't need anything fancy. When you look at Jeff Bezos from Amazon in his office, he made his desk out of used doors. There was no fanciness. If they needed stuff, they bought secondhand. There was nobody to impress. There was work that had to get done. There was skillsets to acquire. There was the person that they needed to become. Most people want to spend the money as soon as they get it, so then they don't have any cash available to take advantage of opportunities. I mean I had literally a million dollars cash in my bank account. I was still driving around in a 12 year old Volkswagen Jetta, which I loved. Wasn't as nice as my friend that went to college and got a really nice job driving around in a fancy BMW 3 Series. But the money I saved by not wasting on those things ended up making investments that paid 100 times over. Before we get back to the episode, if you actually want to know what my real life looks like and see the people and the businesses and the companies I buy and my family and just like how I make it all work, go Follow me on Instagram. Dan Martell, two Ls of Martell on Instagram. It's where I show the behind the scenes, the real deal, real time. I'd love to see you there. Have an amazing day. Which brings us to number three, which is don't run away from problems. Face them head on. I have a friend. Every time they run into an issue. They ruminate on the problem, they talk about it, they go over it with anybody who's willing to listen. It spirals literally out of control because they keep repeating the story over and over again. And there's this great saying that says, misery loves company. And it turns out the people that are willing to listen to the story are also people that are negative, that ruminate, that just spiral out of control. See, most people make problems worse by ignoring them. The game here for me is speed to decision. If there's an issue, you have to ask yourself, what is the next action step that I can take to solve this problem? That is it. If you get clear on the next action, even though you may not know how to solve the problem and then just do it, it will literally resolve the emotions that are coming with it while everyone else is still thinking about how to solve it and you've already moved on to the next one. It's a massive upgrade in your life. Most people run away from problems because they love to tell them stories about why the problems exist. I've seen people in love with setbacks, in love with being held down, in love with blaming other people for what's happened in their life. And because they're. They're literally sold on those stories, their identity of who they are and the challenges they face. And they just sit with these problems over and over again because they feel normal. They would actually. The question to ask themselves is, who would you be if you didn't have this problem? Who would you be? It sounds crazy, but a lot of people are not willing to literally let go the story that they've told themselves about who they are with that problem. Which brings us to number four, which is no one cares about your story until you win. So go win. I see people coming up to me all the time, and they're like, dan, here's what I went through. Here's the impact I want to have in the world. Here's what I want to go do. And I'm like, that's cool, but you're not going to be able to help as many people as you just said. If you don't go and succeed first just because you went through a setback and you haven't shown to the world that you've taken those lessons and those learnings and applied them to your life to go and win in life, then you don't have the complete story. Nobody's going to watch a superhero movie about a superhero that doesn't defeat the villain. And until you go win, Massively, you haven't become that hero yet. When I left rehab, I had one mission. Stay sober. Just stay sober. Everybody that was doubting me, that was thinking I was gonna relapse, I just had to overcome the doubter so they couldn't doubt me anymore. I had to stay sober for so long so that it was undeniable that that was just my new future. That was how I was gonna be. And everyone goes through hard times. And in those hard times, I kept stepping forward. I kept making better decisions. I kept showing and proving to everybody around me that that was who I was gonna be. But that wasn't enough, because then I'm just normal. I may not be in jail anymore, I may not have a drinking problem anymore, but I'm still not successful in the eyes of other people. The difference is, is upward spiral or downward spiral. Here's the massive difference in life, you're either spiraling upwards or you're spiraling downwards. And what's crazy is if you realize you spiral downward so far in your life, there was a day where you made a decision that started that negative spiral. Every day you wake up to try to win, you keep the upward spiral going. Knowing that story of winning could be the most valuable thing that you ever create in your life. Your ability to overcome setbacks, that narrative will be one of the most powerful tools you have to support and change other people's lives. Here's what I believe. The worst thing that's ever happened to you could be your biggest motivation to achieve, to win, to tell that story. And I know for some of you guys, that's crazy. But my experience has been, is your purpose in life could sit right next to that worst thing that's ever happened to you. Which brings us to number five, which is don't shrink yourself to make other people feel comfortable. This one hurts my feelings because watching you play small to not make somebody else feel less is literally hurting you. And it's hurting them. See, if you truly love somebody and you want to see people win, then the most powerful thing you could ever do for them is to inspire them. And people playing small never inspired anybody. Here's a crazy story. When I finally gave myself permission to buy a supercar at 38, the reason I hadn't done it prior is because I was worried how it'd make other people feel. I didn't want anybody to feel less than or uncomfortable or feel like I was showing off. And then I realized after I drove it for a couple weeks is that the truth is, is my real friends were happy for me and the people that weren't just showed me who they were. And that was an incredible lesson because what I've learned over the years is your good friends will be your biggest cheerleaders. So don't dim your light to make other people feel brighter. Shine yours as much as you can to inspire a select few. Don't play small. I love saying this, that if you're too much, let them go find less because the too muchness is appreciated from other people that are on that journey. I love your too muchness. I want you to be that person and you have to be willing to go long periods of time being misunderstood. See people that get upset with you, it's because your truth shows them where they've been living a lie. The way you show up in the world will demonstrate to them where they haven't stepped up. You winning shows them where they gave up and that will hurt. They will respond by taking shots at you, but understand that's showing their character, not revealing yours. Before we get back to the episode, if you want to jumpstart your week with my top stories and tactics, be sure to subscribe to the Martell Method newsletter. It's where you'll elevate your mindset, fitness and business in less than five minutes a week. Find it@martell method.com which brings us to number six, which is don't blame anyone or anything. Go look in the mirror. So here's what I've learned. When I was growing up, I grew up in a really challenging environment. And for a long time I blamed my parents for that life. I blamed them for the hardship, for putting me on Ritalin when I was 11, diagnosing myself with ad, putting me in group homes, foster homes, crisis centers, cause they didn't know how to deal with me. Not visiting me in jail when I ended up there two times before I was 17 and then at one point when I looked at my life and I realized all the good that was there that I had forgotten to blame my parents for the good. See, if who I am is a byproduct of who I was and my parents were the reasons I was blaming them for shaping my life, then I have to give them credit for who I've become. Which sounds crazy, but the person in the mirror is responsible for the take responsibility for everything, have extreme ownership. And I know this sounds absurd, but if I was walking down the street and I got hit by a car, I would first off go, why was I walking down the street? Because I Could have decided to go on a trail. I could have decided to drive. I could have decided not to be out at that time. And that for some people, they don't understand if something happens to me, I want to be 100% control into my response. I can't control what happens to me, but I can control my meaning. I give to that. And what's cool is that if you do that, people around you will change. You know, when I finally got sober in my 20s, I started looking around and my little brother, my other brother, my sister, they all started making different life decisions. Was it because of me? I don't know. But here's what I've learned. When you heal yourself, you heal other people around you indirectly. And you're the only person that can affect that change. It's easier to blame other people than to say, I'm accountable for my situation. You know, it's easier to say I can't do this because of these reasons than to say, I, I haven't gotten these results because I'm not good enough yet. You know, I had a friend of mine and he was talking about growing his business, and he's saying, well, why would I grow my business to have more time to spend with my kids when I have the time now if I just don't want to grow my business? And I laughed. I said, the truth is, is you can have both, but you're just not good enough yet. You see, instead of him being accountable for not getting that result, he was trying to blame some other situation. He's trying to blame that, oh, I'd have to sacrifice all this time with my kids to get this result. And I'm saying, no, you just have to be accountable that you're just not good enough you yet. But the cool part is, is you can get good. You can resolve that. You are in control of your perspective, your life, your energy, your emotions, and the person who is accountable for that can actually affect change and grow faster. Not being accountable at 100%, some people are 60%, 70%, 80%, but 100%, you get to move a lot faster through the world. Before we get back to this episode, if you prefer to watch your content, then go find me on YouTube. I have this episode on YouTube. I'm Dan Martell on YouTube. Just subscribe to the channel, turn on the notification bell because then you'll get notified in real time. It'll tell YouTube to tell you get a new episode so you'll never miss anything. Now let's get back to the episode which brings us to number seven, which is don't compare your chapter one to somebody else's. Chapter 10. When I was coming up, I realized comparing myself to other people was taking joy out of my life, was making me feel insecure, was making me feel unhappy. And then I decided, you know what? I'm just going to compare myself to one person, and that was me from yesterday. If every day I woke up today and said, am I a better version of me? If I look at myself compared to a week ago, a month ago, last year, can I say honestly to another person that I am better today? If I continue to compare myself to me from yesterday, then I can take action against that and see what happens. Oftentimes, especially in the entrepreneurial world, people compare their chapter one to somebody else is chapter 17. You know, in the entrepreneurial age, it's not actually how old you are, it's how long you've been doing something. And you see these people with overnight success and maybe a new business, a new venture, not realizing that they've been doing something in that industry for 20 years. That's just the new version of their company. Everyone has their own path and journey. And I've been building businesses for 27 years. And honestly, what I've built is not that impressive considering how long I've been doing it for. So imagine what could you do in 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, if you just decided to focus. You know, I always say there's two types of people in this world. One is successful, the other one is distracted. Dedicate a decade, go all in on you, and compare yourself to you from yesterday. And I'm telling you that consistency will unlock your success. Which brings us to number eight, which is that it's okay to ask for help. Back when I was starting my first company, I was a couple months in and I realized that I wasn't able to make payroll. I was freaking out. This is my third company. First two complete failures, and I'm only a couple months in. And I tried to do everything right. I had some money saved up. I hired these people. I had customers ready to go building this software, and I'm looking at my cash and my bank account, realized I'm not going to be able to make payroll. So I swallowed my pride and I called my dad. And I'll tell you, having the attitude to wanting to build this business without anybody else's help, especially my dad, it was a tough pill to swallow. But I gave him a call and he gave me some great advice. He said, you know, you can factor your receivables. So I had customers in the US who had bought some software. But the way the payment term works, it took a while and he taught me that I could sell those invoices to somebody else. That would take a big piece of this cut, but at least I'd have the money to be able to make payroll. So I listened to his advice, swallowed my pride, sold my receivables and was able to make payroll. If I didn't ask for help, I would have never known that was even a thing. What I've learned over the years is most people will not not ask another person for help. They don't want to bother them. They don't think they're worthy of it. They feel like it would cost them money. They make up all these reasons why they don't ask anybody else for help. But what I've learned is people who've done it before will literally shave years off your learning curve. Finding somebody who's already gotten the result you want and getting them to give you the strategy will save a third of the time. Just think about anything you've done. Maybe you're a musician, an athlete, et cetera. If you had to start from zero, know what you know now, how much faster could you teach somebody else? That's skill, that exercise, that business. Think about for yourself. If somebody came to you starting from scratch and you're an expert at something, how much faster could you teach them to get to where you're at? Knowing what you know now, for most people it's three times faster. So here's the deal. If you want to just go as fast as possible and get a bunch of bumps and bruises, then go along. Just go as fast as. But the problem is it's only going to get you so far. It's going to be a small outcome. But if you want to go far and you want to create something massive and you want to not have all these small little setbacks from things you could have learned from somebody else else, go find the people that have been there before and ask for help. That was my honest advice to my 20 year old self that many of you need. If you want to learn my 17 rules of success, click the link and I'll see on the other side. Thanks for listening. The Martel Method if you like this episode, could you do me a huge favor and go leave a review? This helps us get the podcast more ears and helps more people get unstuck, reclaim their freedom, and build their empire higher.