003: How to Operate at Your Highest Levels of Joy, Productivity and Success!

Hey, have you heard the news yet? There is a new style of CEO on the block. The modern CEO. And she is changing the way businesses are run. In fact, you might know this person. She's creating a business around what matters most to her. Freedom, family, impact. And her corner office looks nothing like what you'd see on Wall Street. It's a kitchen table, your grandma's lake house, a spacious home office, the living room floor surrounded by kids and Legos or the local coffee shop. Your business, your way. Hey. When you embrace your role as Modern CEO, I'm telling you, you will have more freedom, more profit, and more fun. Most importantly, you'll fall in love with your life and your business in a way you've only dreamed of before. Trust me, this isn't a pipe dream reserved for only a select few. You are the modern CEO. You creating a business and life you love. Because a better business means a better life. Hey. Hey, it's Amber McHugh here. Welcome to episode three of the Modern CEO podcast. I am so excited to dig into this episode and share some background and some information on a personal journey that I have been going on and something that I think impacts a lot of modern CEOs. As modern CEOs, we have a real opportunity not only to change other people's lives, but to change our own and to change the lives of the people in our very intimate inner circles. Right. Our family, our friends. And so many topics and conversations that I have with modern CEOs are about business structures. How do we do business better? How do we improve different aspects of our business? And a lot of the Modern CEO Podcast episodes are going to be about that. Exactly. But a big piece of that is also adjusting our mindset, and it's also about taking care of our lives. Because a better business means a better life. Not just for your clients, not just for the people that you serve, but also for you. Right? And we could say that another way. Not just for you, but also for your clients and also for the people that you serve and the people you give back to. So many modern CEOs today build giving into their models. So the power of what we can do through our businesses as modern CEOs is phenomenal. But I truly believe that if we aren't taking care of ourselves first, right? None of that can happen. Or at least it may happen for a while, but then we're gonna flat out, we're gonna burn out. So that's not what we're going towards. We wanna make sure that you are really living And I truly believe that we are born to thrive. We, like, there is not, you know, the universe isn't rooting for us to fail. The universe is rooting for us to succeed. So how do you start succeeding and how do you start living that dream that you are working towards today? Right. Even if it's in the smallest ways where we can just get dabble and start diving in and start benefiting from this work that we're doing as modern CEOs and really start that giving back process again, not only to ourselves, but as well as to. Or not only just to others, but to ourselves. And depending on where you are in the journey, you may need emphasis on one or the other. You know, sometimes I'm like, okay, Amber, you know, it's time to start giving back and shift your energy again. And other times it's, whoa, Amber, you really need to take care of you right now. So whichever space you're in right now, Right. You could come at this from a couple of different angles. But what's important here and what I would love for you to be thinking about as we move through this episode and I'm sharing my journey, is what is it for you? What can you start stepping into right now so you can start experiencing a little bit of freedom? It's a little bit of something that I call that millionaire feeling. It's not about the money, but it's about the feeling that you have. Right. And so oftentimes we're working toward a financial goal because we are business owners. And you bet we will have an episode coming up where we're talking about money and we're talking about financial management in our business. But that is not the sole goal as any one of us who've started a business from out of something that we love and out of a passion that we know. But for so many, it's about the freedom that we can have in our lives by running a business, by growing a business, including the freedom to give back. So sharing a little bit of my story around this, it was about, oh, man, it was probably 10 years ago now when I was driving home from work one night. It was probably about 9pm I had a big project I was working on, so I had to stay late this particular night. And I was driving home in my blue Volkswagen Golf, and there was no one on the street because everyone was at home. I live in suburbia, so everybody was all tucked in. You know, there might be a car going by randomly, but at this particular moment, I was on the road by myself and I looked up and there was a giant glowing moon looking back at me and. And I looked at that moon and thought, man, that is beautiful. Why am I driving home from work right now instead of sitting in my backyard with my family in a lawn chair having a drink and looking up at that move and just enjoying being together with my family? And that's when I realized that enough was enough. I was going to change the way I was doing things. I was committed in that moment to start to pivot and live a life that served me more so I could serve others more. So it began and it is a long process. I would say that just this past year I'm really starting to see the fruits of all of our labor to really pivot from a life where I was living someone else's dream, right? I went to college, I got a great job, I was climbing the corporate ladder and I was really happy to be getting promotion after promotion. And that was good for a while, but that wasn't my dream. I woke up in the morning and envisioned my ideal day. I wasn't rushing off to the office or checking my email right away or hopping on a conference call right away. My ideal day is instead me waking up slowly and being near the ocean. And I can actually see. I sleep with my windows open in my ideal day and there is a great breeze flowing through that's coming off the ocean. And every day that is the dream that I went back to. And my husband and I talked about this and he was totally on board with changing the way we were showing up in our lives. And instead of life happening to us, we were starting to make conscious choices about how we wanted to live. So we thought that that meant having a bigger family and moving to a bigger house to make room for that family. And we got the bigger house. And then we realized, you know, maybe we don't need all of this space because we basically just follow each other around the house and we're always huddling in small spaces of the house together. So maybe we don't need all of this. Maybe we don't need nine couches. I'm not kidding you. Nine couches. We had a five bedroom house, absolutely beautiful and on a great little property where we backed to woods and the deer would come up and just a nice life. But it wasn't necessarily a life that fueled us and served us and it wasn't the life we necessarily wanted to be living. So we again started to make some shifts and my husband realized that he wanted to make a pretty big career Change. I'm like, okay, I'm all in and supporting you in that. So while he was supporting me in making changes, in growing my business and doing a lot of work to figure out what was my thing, there were a lot of I told you so was in there from him because he could see the direction I should be going. And I had to do a couple of winding paths and turns down a couple of different roads before I knew which was the right, right path. I like to experiment, I like to play. So I needed to be immersed in something before I could know that it wasn't the right thing. And he was so patient with me as I was with him, as he started to explore a career change as well. Fast forward to just last year and my husband, as a part of this career change, had to go away for a seven month project. And we weren't sure if it was gonna be even longer. Potentially it ended up being seven months and it was gonna be at least six months. And I knew in that moment that I could do it. I could absolutely do it. We have three girls, one who was just graduating from high school and getting ready to go on a gap year. And then I have two little ones, a five year old and a two year old. And I thought, boy, I do not want to be miserable in Maryland for six months or more while you are gone on this project. And we really started to strategize around, okay, I don't have to be a Maryland. We have set up our lives at this point and I've got such great clients and partners that I can be. I could be anywhere. So we were exploring the idea that I would move to California for six months or potentially to live next door to my sister. And ultimately that's what we decided to do. And there was a lot of back and forth and it was really my husband who said, go. You want to be by the water. That will make you happy. I had no idea how truly happy California would make me. And just being by my sister and having that support was going to be a lifesaver while he was gone. So we packed our bags and he took us to California and dropped us off there where we were gonna stay while he was away on this project. And boy, oh boy, was it the best decision we ever made. You know, just before we left, my husband and I had some conversations and he said to me at one point, you are not happy. And I remember thinking, I'm so happy. And I was crying and bawling back.

To him, I'm happy. I'm happy. You just don't know me. You just don't understand me.

Oh, brother. Well, he was right. I was not in the happiest space. We were going through a transition and moving into a new lifestyle. But I hadn't hit the reset button yet. Like, I could see the vision. I could see where we were going and I believed in that. But I had one foot in an old way of being in an old way of showing up, and I had one foot in the new way of showing up. And that move to California was exactly what I needed to really hit the reset button. And so we got out there and of course the first month, oh man, was incredibly hard. I mean, I've been a single mom before. When I was in college with Lily, I swept her up and took her to college with me. And my husband went away, actually to the army. So I spent most of my time in college and had the support of some great friends. My college, my university was about three hours away from family. So I had Lily Christmas break, freshman year of college and went right back to school with her in January. And that was an incredible experience. And it was really not as difficult as it could have been because I was very committed to making it work. And she was frankly kind of an easy baby. So she saved me from having to go out and party too much. I don't really, I'm not a big partier. So she saved me from some of that. It was a complete blessing and such a gift. And I don't know, I think it was easier then too. I might have had more energy. I was a lot younger and sky was the limit. I was going to. I was going to keep moving forward in my goals and my dreams and I was going to bring her right along with me and also show her a different way that you don't have to do status quo. You can kind of do things your own way and things you'll figure out, you'll figure out a new way of being that's even better than what you possibly dreamed. So I thought, oh, I've done this single parenting thing before. I can do this. Come on, girls. So we took the two little ones, but it was different this time because I was totally outnumbered. These two little nuggets, the five year old and the two year old Audrey and Harper, oh my gosh, their energy was just off the charts. Not to mention I was kind of missing my husband. And Lily just graduated high school and took off on a gap year. And she was Ghana first, then Thailand, Indonesia, all over the place. So I was feeling very alone. And it was funny because there were days when I'd be bawling, I don't.

Want to be crying. I love California. I'm so happy.

Here again, you see a trend with this crying and me, I'm happy, I'm happy.

I really am.

So ultimately I did actually get some Zoloft to stop those tears. The tears just wouldn't stop flowing, guys. I was happy, I was smiling. Even the doctor was like, but you're smiling.

Yes, I want to be happy.

The tears just won't stop. So I was on Zoloft for about three months. I went off it and my husband came to visit us for Thanksgiving. Guess what? Who needed Zoloft again. I am again off it now. I've been off it for quite a while. Just I needed it for those situational humps to get over those humps of the endless tears that were just not turning off. And that's not necessarily something everyone needs. And I don't take it all the time, but, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do. So I got some help getting through those situations. And in the midst of all of that, in the midst of what could have been crazy overwhelm and crazy stress, I could have stayed miserable in Maryland. We could have had what I call the princess of the princess meltdown moments. Those because my girls like to dress up in princess dresses. There are a lot of princess dance parties as well as a lot of meltdowns because a 2 year old and a 5 year old with a whole lot of change going on, we could have had a tough time. But it ended up being some of the most joyful time of my life. And my husband even noticed at the end of that window, he's like, whoa, like, you are so much more positive. I'm like, I am and I'm going to stay this way. And now that I stepped into that new way of being, he trusted that I needed to go on this journey while he needed to go on his journey. And he noticed. And now I stay in that space of, hey, I'm getting out of alignment again. We've gotta, you know, here are the things we need to tune up. Here are the things that aren't working for me. You know, can you work with me to fix these things? And I'm very open about asking for those things because I am operating at such a higher frequency of joy. And I came out of that experience with such a knowing of what joy was for me that I can definitely feel when I'm off So I'm back in Maryland now. I'm not completely miserable because my husband is here, although Maryland maybe just isn't. I'm not in the most alignment in Maryland, but I can still sense and I can still feel and I can still monitor. Right. Okay. This is what I need to do to stay operating at this higher level, to stay, stay functioning at this higher level and to stay in this higher space of joy. And is everything perfect? Nope. Absolutely not. Stuff comes up that we have to deal with, like we couldn't get the couch out the front door that we are selling. We're continuing to downsize and sell some stuff that we have in storage for some new adventures we have planned. So we had to take that couch out the window instead. And, you know, I've got financial stuff. We juggle and balance financial stuff because we're making some shifts to there. You know, everything in life that just continues to come up, but we're dealing with it differently. So we all have a choice on how we're gonna approach things, and we all have a choice about how we're going to show up in our lives. Life isn't just happening to us. But even when you know those things like I did, like my husband does, it's still easy to get caught up in what society has planned for you and what other people expect of you. And so what I'm asking you today, because here on the Modern CEO podcast, even if it's something small or a small baby step that you want to take, are you operating at your highest levels of joy? Are you setting up your life so that you can function at your highest levels? And if not, I want to invite you to just start making some tweaks today. You don't have to pick up and move to California tomorrow. It took us a long time to be in a place, right? I'm. I said this journey started for us about 10 years ago. So it took us a long time to be in this place where we could do that. But if you start designing and you start thinking about and you start checking yourself and you start taking the baby steps now, you will be on your way to your move to California or operating at a higher level of joy for yourself, whatever that is for you. It may not be California and the beach for everyone, but that is my ideal day. That's where my ideal day starts, every single day. So where does your ideal day start? And let's keep moving you down that path, because that is the beauty of you showing up and creating a life as a modern CEO. A better business means a better life. So I'm gonna leave you with a little song. I don't know if this is gonna become a regular thing, but I did this in the laughter episode. And I'm not going to tell. I don't know if I'm going to tell people publicly. You will just know if you make it to the end of the episode that Hammer might sing. And, you guys, I always say the wrong words to songs, so I'm a bust out a song because I'm not like looking up lyrics and I might get the words totally wrong. So, you know, that's just. We're going to roll with it. So feel free to correct me or just laugh at me. And I know I'm doing it. But today's song and today's message is going to be a song that is every single day going to school in California. My daughter and I would sing this song, and some of you may know it. Actually, maybe we should just pull this one up so we can listen to it while. And so I can sing along with it. Because, you guys, this is one where my voice, I have to sing at a higher level. And when I am not practiced and warmed up. And I am not practiced and warmed up. It has been years since I have really sang anything. My voice will crack if I go too high. Do we have any soprano singers in there? In the audience? I admire you. I so admire you. Because I want to be able to sing those high notes, but I just cannot hit them all the time. So every day going to school, we would sing one of two songs. Either it's a great day, a beautiful day, the kind of day that makes me want to say, I'm glad that I'm alive. I'm happy to be me, and that's the way to be. Or we would sing you fight song, which is now a song probably Audrey knows all of the words to. But I would drive them to school and sometimes we'd cry to these songs. Or we'd walk to school and we'd walk down the sidewalk dancing and singing out loud the whole way to school looking like total crazy pants. But I know that my girls will have these memories forever. And I go back to the end songs when I need a little bit of motivation. So maybe your action step is just to get a song that will lift you up when you need to pivot and when you need to step back into your joy. And that's all I got for you today. I'm not actually gonna sing the fight song because you know, I'll mess it up or I'll sing too high. My voice will crack. I don't want to hurt your ears. We are. We are close. We are intimate in this podcast space. So I. So thank you for being here with us today, listening to episode three of the Modern CEO podcast. And I cannot wait to see you step further and further and further into your joy as you grow your business. Because a better business means a better life. I'll see you in the next episode, Sam.