012: My #1 Secret for Fulfilling Scaling

Hey, have you heard the news? There is a new style of CEO on the block, the modern CEO. And she is changing the way businesses are run. She's setting her own hours and her own salary. She's creating a business around what matters most to her. Freedom, impact, and family. Her corner office looks nothing like what you'd see on Wall Street. It's a kitchen table, your grandma's lakehouse, a spacious home office, the living room floor surrounded by kids, and in my case, baby dolls or the local coffee shop. Your business, your way. This modern CEO is here to stay. Hey, it isn't always going to be easy and Lord knows it isn't always pretty. But it's a lot more fun when we're in it together. And I'm so glad you're here. Welcome to the Modern CEO podcast. Hey. Hey. Welcome back to the Modern CEO podcast. Yes, it is me again, your host, Amber McHugh. And boy, I am excited to hang out with you here in this episode because if you are here, I suspect you want to build freedom into your lifestyle and you want to do something that is meaningful. You want to give back, you want to have impact and, and you want to get paid. So if that is you, listen up because we have a super fun episode today. We're going to talk about a new concept. If you want to grow with ease, you want to listen to this. If you want intimacy and connection in your business model and you still want to scale, this episode is for you. And the new concept that we're going to introduce and we're going to talk about today is called scalable intimacy. These are two words that don't often go together, right? You want to scale and you want to grow, but you still want to maintain connection, you still want to maintain intimacy and knowledge and collaboration with the people that you're working with. And so this concept of scalable intimacy is a little bit unique, but it is still a path to growing with ease and oftentimes still a path to grow, to growing in a more fulfilling way because you still have a human connection with your audience, you still have a human connection with your clients. And oftentimes in this model, they get better, more long lasting results because of the intimacy. And yes, your business model is indeed better off because you've got scalability built into it. So we're going to talk a little bit more about scalable intimacy, what it means, why it's important. And then we're also, in the next episode, going to do a case study about a model of scalable Intimacy and a program that's built around scalable intimacy. But first, how did this idea of scalable intimacy come to be? I first identified this concept of scalable intimacy several years ago when I saw a gap in the marketplace. I was just coming into the online world, really starting to get my feet grounded in what it was to be in the online world, both as a consumer and as a consultant in the online world. As I was building my online consulting business and I was taking courses, but I still felt so disconnected from course creators. I felt disconnected from the audiences that I was with. I was showing up in these groups, I was participating, I was building relationships, But I still felt lonely. I still felt disconnected. I still felt unsure, isolated. I still had a lot of despair, and I felt like I paid a lot of money for support, and I was still left to fend for myself. Yeah. Was I learning from these programs I was taking? Was I learning from the coaches I was working with or the consultants I was working with? Yeah, sure, it was great information, such good information. But I wanted more of an experience. I wanted more connection and collaboration, and I wanted that. That feeling of camaraderie that comes when we're coming together and working on something as a group, when we're moving toward a goal, together with. With a common purpose and a shared goal. And so I feel like that level of intimacy and connection when we're coming together and working toward a goal, together with. Was missing. Even though I was in these courses and I was in these programs, and we were all working toward very similar objectives. Right? You go into a course, you go into a program, or you go into a mastermind, or you're working with, you know, someone. And everyone else in that group in that course signed up for the same course. They signed up because they want the same objectives. And still it feels a little bit lonely. It feels like you're still out there on an island wondering, is it just me? Is it just me who is still struggling? Here I am left on my own little struggle bus. No, it is not just you. So if you are feeling some of those things too, I was right there as well. And, you know, some of it is a mindset thing. I certainly had mindset blocks that I had to overcome. So this isn't just about the environment. This isn't just about the way things are designed. Right. Certainly, we as individuals have a role to play when we join programs, when we join courses, when we join masterminds, when we work with consultants, when we hire team members. Right. It is absolutely a two Way street. But we as business owners have an opportunity. We as creators of programs and experiences for our customers, have an amazing opportunity to create something unique that can inspire people to do something different, that can inspire people to have transformation in their lives. And yeah, that can come right through them digesting your videos or your course content and them sitting there and implementing that and processing that and going through a transformation on their own. Right, sitting for me, that would be for me right now, sitting in Annapolis, Maryland in front of my computer and I step away from my computer after watching some videos and I go out and I implement those things in my life. But how much greater could that transformation be or how much faster could that transformation be if I'm in a model where the course creator creates or the program creator, the business owner creates a whole experience where they're showing up and they're a part of that transformation forming. And it's not just a passive experience of me watching a video, but there are more touch points and there's an immersion and there are opportunities for me to connect and plug back in to that group and that program and that content in multiple ways. So I'm thinking about them in multiple ways, not just sitting down to do that video work and not separating myself from that content. But there becomes an intimacy with the person, with the business, with the content, with the transformation that I want to be making. So yes, it's a two way street, but if we show up a little bit bigger, people will show up a little bit more for us and with our content and they can have bigger results. So scalable intimacy gets us there. And when you build intimacy and connection into your business model along with scalability, this will help you grow with ease and it helps your clients get better results. So when I first started my business, I dreamed of waking up in the morning, drinking green juice, chatting all day on the phone with my clients, rocking their world and wrapping up the day at 3pm to read a good book before the kids got home. Was that farther from the truth? Right. There are ups and downs and as business owners, we have to be able to adapt and adjust. And yeah, my days might sometimes wrap up at 3pm If I am really disciplined. But the reality is that I'm so immersed in what I'm doing and I love it so much, I can just keep on keeping on. So I really have to have that discipline. And while I do like to think that I rock my client's world all day, right. I'm constantly thinking about my business. So why not translate that into Intimacy and connection and leverage. All of that, that work that we're doing into a powerful, immersive, relationship building experience where we're creating something unique in the marketplace and something I think that's important to talk about first is the difference between scale and growth. Right? So if we want scalability, we hear that all the time in the marketplace. People are saying, you know, you need scale in your business model. Make sure that you're set up for scale and growth, right? What's the difference between scale and growth? So when you are growing without scale, you're adding revenue, but you're adding resources or cost to deliver on that increased revenue at a similar rate, right. That you're bringing in the revenue. So they're sort of neck and neck, right? And an example of that is in my three boudoir photography business, we have people, resources associated with our growth. When we open up a new city and we do more photo shoots, we need resources, we need team members, we need a photographer and a shoot stylist and we need editors to edit those photos. So there are tangible costs. There are people that we support and that support us when we grow and expand into another city. Now, there is some scale with that business model. It's not a one to one. There is certainly profit margin associated with that, but it's most certainly a higher cost. And it's not as scalable as a model, let's say like Netflix, right? The platform is there and they can add a whole lot more members to Netflix without having to expand and add more cost and more overhead than I can add in the photography business, right? So it's a much more scalable model. You can add more people to your course without adding more cost. Much more scalable model, right. You may not even have to add any cost at all until you get to, let's say a thousand people and you decide you want to bring in someone to help you manage the memberships or manage some administrative stuff, right? But you can do a lot of, on a little, on a smaller budget and that is scale. So that's the difference between growth and scale growth. You're sort of neck and neck adding, adding revenue and adding cost. In a scalable model, you're adding revenue, but you're adding revenue for a very, very, very slight increase of cost, if any increase in cost at all. But in those scalable models, you might risk losing intimacy. And if you don't pay mind to that. Right. In the photography business example I gave, we're not risking losing intimacy because there are people there Right, we might. We've got to make sure we train those new people in those new cities so the experience carries over. So there is a risk there, but there is still connection, there's still hands on support. There is still someone right in front of you there with you, you know, going through that very, very, very intimate experience of a boudoir photo shoot. If you don't know what a boudoir photo shoot is, don't look that up at work or in front of kids, you might be in for a surprise. But then in the scalable models, right, there is a risk there that people will feel left behind, right? They'll feel that isolation, they'll feel like they are just a number. But when you bring back that intimacy and you're mindful of it and you start to create an experience of around it, you will be able to grow with ease, your clients will get better results and you will feel so much better about the experience that you are delivering for your clients. Now that we've talked about scale and growth, let's take it to the next level and talk about intimacy. So what is intimacy? It's that connection that we feel with someone. It's when we get real. And I am not looking at Webster's for this definition, I am telling you what this is to me. And when you hear the word intimacy, you might think of some more nuances to this. But it's when we can be real and we can talk with vulnerability and we connect on matters that are meaningful, right? So that's what I'm talking about when I'm talking about that intimacy and that connection, right? We can be vulnerable. We can, we can be real, we can move quickly. We know each other. I know you and what's happening in your business. You know me and what's happening in my business. We are vulnerable. We talk about what we're worried about, we talk about our fears, we talk about our failures and we grow from those fears and failures together. Right? So that's sort of some of the intimacy that I'm talking about. And I, I'm talking about that a little bit from a business perspective, right? The fears and the failures and growth that comes from that. Because that's the frame of mind and the context I'm in right now. But it might look a little bit different for you and your clients. Certainly it looks different for me and my clients in our photography business, right? Intimacy and connection there is a little bit different than it is in my Amber McHugh consulting business. Right? So adapt that and adapt what intimacy really means and what it looks like for you in your business. But not only is it important for us to know what intimacy is when we're talking about this model of scalable intimacy. Let's talk for a second about why it is important. Let's talk about why it is important. So there is a belief and there is research to support the fact and the idea. In fact, this is detailed in the book called Social Media why our brains are wired to Connect. Social connection and intimacy is important as food and shelter, right? So we get in this online world and there is this big barrier between us. And yes, we are connecting with more people than ever, but it doesn't feel meaningful anymore, right? Even Facebook this summer just added the word meaningful to their vision, to their mission. Because not only do we want connection, but we need to bring back in that meaningful connection, which is a part of the intimacy and the way that I'm talking about it and describing it here. And that is as important as food and shelter. The opposite of this intimacy and this connection and this social connection that we have is loneliness. And loneliness shows up in, in measurements of stress hormones and in immune functions. And it can have impact on our heart. And lonely adults consume more alcohol and get less exercise than those who are not healthy. Their diet is higher in fat. Their sleep is less efficient. They report more daytime fatigue. It also disrupts the regulation of cellular processes deep within the body and gives you premature aging. And it also makes us less socially adept. So you get caught into this cycle of, hey, I'm lonely and I'm not connecting with people, but it fuels the cycle of further not connecting with people. And this is out of research that was reported in U.S. news & World Report. And oh, no, I am not done yet. If digging deeper into this research from Psychology Today shows that humans, because of necessity, evolved into social beings. Our dependence on and cooperation with others enhanced our ability to survive in harsh environmental circumstances. And guys, with what's going on right now in the world, in the United States, for those of you that are here with me, if we are not calling this harsh circumstances, I do not know what is right. We have got a lot of elevated stress and tensions right now. And it is that connection that drives us to succeed. And although the survival threats of these circumstances have lessons in today's world, although they're heightened in some areas and increasing in some areas, people continue to have a need to affiliate with others others. The lack of such connections can lead to many problems, including loneliness. And we just talked about the impact of Loneliness from that US News and World Report study that was shown. There's a lot of impact that comes from not having intimacy and certainly some of these things. My business isn't directly tied to health and wellness, but I wanted to call out some of the impact of lack of intimacy so that we can see how vital intimacy and connection is to us as humans. And if you are in a business that serves humans, as most of the people that I work with are, so that could possibly be you consider some of these things that humans need to be successful, that they need to survive. And let's weave that into your business model to help your people be more successful, to help your clients get better results. Because that is what it's all about at the end of the day, that we have meaningful impact, that they have meaningful results, and that they have success. And I want your success as well. So that's what this is all about for me. So as we think about why social connection and intimacy is important for us as humans, it's also important for our businesses because good ideas and true innovation come from human interaction. Conflict argument, debate. That's a quote by Margaret Offerman. And human interaction conflict argument debate cannot comfortably happen if you don't have intimacy. Right? It's hard to take constructive feedback and, and harsh advice and direct directive maybe is the better word there advice from someone if you don't have a strong rapport with them. And that strong rapport can be built in an intimate space. So scalable intimacy, right? That's what it's all about. And that will help us grow our business with ease because it's unique and it is so needed in this world, especially that intimacy piece and the scalability for you and your business model and with ease because of scalability, most certainly. Right? And the referrals come because you're getting people results in this space. And guys, I'm not going to lie. I literally sit in my office sometimes because I work from home, hoping someone's going to call me. Who's going? I am. I scroll my Facebook wall wondering, does anybody have any questions today? Call me lame, call me lonely, call me human. I am indeed very human. So when you build intimacy and connection into your business model along with scalability, it's going to accelerate your growth, it's going to accelerate the fulfillment that you feel. Intimacy is innate to who we are as humans. It's natural, it feels good to you, it feels good to your customers. It fosters engagement and it fosters connection. It fosters referrals, it helps them Feel safe to implement and take big steps and big risks. Right. What got us here won't get us there. And when we are moving into a space and we're taking steps that we haven't taken before, it feels a little scary, it feels a little risky. But if I have an intimate group of people, if I have an intimate relationship with someone who I know has got my back and who's going to lift me up and who I can talk about this with if I fail or if I'm feeling nervous, I'm going to be more likely to take those steps than if I don't have someone to fall back on. That scalable intimacy model allows you to be your client's safety net. So they will take bigger risks as their business grows, as they make transformation in their life, as they improve their health, and as a result, they will see bigger and better results. Does that make sense? Hope I'm pulling that all together for you. So that sort of puts a bow on how and why I was led to this idea of scalable intimacy. Scalable intimacy, Yes. I wanted scale. Yes, I wanted to grow with scale, but I also wanted intimacy. And to create that intimacy, it comes with a constant pursuit of building experiences for clients that drive solutions in a business model that's both scalable and yet you feel that connection. Right. Some days it does feel like an impossible riddle to solve. Right. I'm like, ah, we nailed it. Nope, we didn't. Right. So it's constantly evaluating and constantly looking at what can we do better? Right. But that's what a relationship's all about. It's not always going to be perfect. Absolutely not. That's what a relationship's about. That's what intimacy is about. Having that open relationship with your clients, knowing that, yeah, you can always do better. You are human as well. Right? Right, Right, right. So we're going to make improvements over time as well. And that intimacy gives us the space to also continually improve for our clients as well. It is the essence of superior customer experience. So how do you achieve this? Right. How do you achieve intimacy? You can do that through one on ones. Right. Super intimate, less scalable retreats, A little bit more scalable. Still pretty intimate. You can also do this by getting connected to someone's family. Right. You're brought into their inner circle. Not just you and theirs, not just them and your family, but you and theirs as well. And there's an intimacy there. You get to know their children, you get to know what they're all about. So just getting to know them. But you can also achieve intimacy and scale not just through one on ones, but through hybrid programs, right? So if scale is, for example, a software program like Dropbox or the Extreme, right, let's say Dropbox, Netflix, Lead Boxes, Lead Pages, where there is not a lot of human connection, courses would be on that scale as well. A little bit more human connection, but not necessarily a lot. But maybe you add a little bit more intimacy by having a Facebook group, or maybe you add a lot more intimacy by making it a hybrid group program and one on one sort of experience. And we're going to go into detail in the next episode on a program that we have that is a hybrid model through and through, where we're sort of embracing and testing and constantly refining this idea of scalable intimacy in our program called Freshly Implemented. So we're going to break that down a little bit more for you in the next episode if you want to go into further detail. Definitely. Join us then and consider what could this idea of scalable intimacy create for you and your business? Have you explored an idea like this before? Have you just thought about connection or have you just thought about scalability and thought the two don't go together? That's why I don't do courses. My audience wants connection, so they're not learning through courses. Or that's why I'm not scaling, right, is because I'm only doing one on ones. So what is it? Have you thought about this concept before? And does this give you some new ideas? Is there a new possibility out there? Can you look at what's happening in your market and can you look at how you can redesign something to create a new experience that brings together the idea of scale so you have more reach and you can impact more people in a bigger way and still have intimacy? Because when you build intimacy and connection into your business model alongside scalability, you will grow with more ease and your clients will have better results, as will you, which is what I am all about. So keep me posted on this. And we're going to go deeper into a case study about how scalable intimacy works in Freshly Implemented in the next episode. I'll catch you there.