023: Life Begins When You Start Letting Go!

Hey, have you heard? There's a new style of CEO on the block. The modern CEO. And she is changing the way businesses are run. She's setting her own hours and her own salary. She's creating a business around what matters most to her. Freedom, family, and impact. And her corner office looks nothing like what you'd see on Wall Street. It's a kitchen t your grandma's lake house, a spacious home office, the living room floor maybe surrounded by kids and crayons or the local coffee shop. Your business, your way. This modern CEO is here to stay. Because when you embrace your role as modern CEO, you will have more freedom, more profit, and more fun. Most importantly, you'll fall in love with your life and a business in a way you've only dreamed. Trust me, this isn't a pipe dream reserved for only a select few. You are the modern CEO. You are creating a business and life you love because a better business means a better life. Hey. I am so happy to be here with you right now in this space, in this moment. It has been a wild couple of weeks here. Actually, it's been about a wild four weeks. My family has been hopping from one stomach bug to the next with a splash of chicken pox thrown in there for my youngest, and then back to the stomach bug. So a knock on wood. I have been okay through all of this. I think that my husband and two of my girls even got a little bit of food poisoning, which I somehow managed to avoid. Whoa. But everybody has been sick here. I've got just a little bit of a cold, but I can muscle through that. But I did. Even though I didn't get sick. Right. I was staying up late with the girls, but had to lounge and sort of adjust my schedule to be there to care for them and love them up and cuddle a little bit extra when they're not feeling good. And because I was putting this extra energy in, you know, funny schedules in the middle of the night, I had to change up my plans a little bit. I couldn't work out at the pace or the intensity that I wanted to. I did get those workouts in, guys. It is a goal this year. I am continuing from last year my efforts to get even further back into shape after having those sweet girls. And I did it. I didn't do it at the same intensity, but there was a time in my life when I really would have beat myself up for not being able to operate at that level, or I would have just flat out pushed myself to continue to go, go, go, go. And I wouldn't have surrendered to what was actually happening around me. And I wouldn't have been open to the possibility that there is beauty. We all know it. I would say it like, oh, I love to cuddle, and I would love those moments. But I wasn't always fully present because I had plans, I had things to do, I had a vision and I had an idea for what should be happening. And I held onto that so tightly that I couldn't see what was happening around me. Now, let me explain this a little bit more. And one example that was like, whoa, almost a slap in the face. There's gotta be a better, less aggressive analogy for that. But that's the image that's coming to mind with the. Whoa. Amber. This is what it means to shift from holding so tightly to what is supposed to be happening, what should be happening, and shifting into a space of surrender or being open to the possibility than when my daughter Audrey, was resisting something that was happening on our vacation, which I want to tell you about, because I think this might resonate with you also. You know, have you ever been the person who's thought, oh, man, I see people getting these free upgrades. I see all these people having this success and having this luck, like, oh, they got upgraded to first class. They got upgraded a room upgrade. Why isn't this happening to me? When will it be my turn? And those are the things not with jealousy, not with disappointment for those individuals. But I look when people, these amazing things were happening to people. And I couldn't see the good on my side. And I couldn't fully embrace and accept that. No, no, you're right on time. Good things are happening on your side too, Amber. I just kept thinking, that's really cool over there. That's really cool what's happening for them. How do we make that happen for you? And it was interesting because when we were on this trip on our safari in Masai Mara, we were staying at a camp, a campsite. Like, there were eight tents, which I'm going to tell you about, because they were tents. They were technically tents, okay? And they had a restaurant, again in a tent, and they had a check in space. And that was about it. There was also a pool and a trampoline and a place for the kids to play and do a little archery and kick the ball around or whatever. But we were staying in tents. As we walked up to our tent and went up the stairs on the front porch, the warrior guardsman who was taking us to our tent unzipped the doors and Let us and our two hosts in. Another two women were escorting us as well. And we were totally in awe that this was our tent. The wood floors of this tent were some of the most beautiful wood floors I've ever seen. I would put them in my house beyond and they were knotted and gorgeous, this soft buttery color with wide planks. And then we looked up and we saw two, four post beds with the gorgeous mosquito netting around them, giving them this feel of luxury. The lights were a bit dim as they hung from the ceiling. And we walked back under the the lights between the beds and we saw two bathrooms at the back. Yes, two bathrooms in this tent. One to the right with the toilet and one separate to the left with the shower, both with sinks. And mind you, in our house in Ethiopia, everything leaks. There is not a day that goes by that something new is not leaking. And when they come back to fix it, we just go through the rotation and it's leaking again because something else broke. These pipes, they didn't leak. This plumbing in the middle of Masai Mara in our tent worked better than the plumbing at our house. Then after checking out the bedroom area and the restrooms, we went over to the left of the tent and enjoyed our sitting area. And of course our four year old and our seven year old, Harper and Audrey were in awe of that. This was our tent. One of my clients when I was sharing this experience said, what about this was a tent? Like, well, I guess the canvas top that whooped nicely over the sitting area and the zipper, which you did have to lock, otherwise the baboons might come in and steal your stuff. So, you know, there's a little bit of ruggedness happening here, but not much. It was truly a luxury tent and we set the intention to glamp. So we were right on time. And everything that we had set intentions for was totally lining up. But the two women who were escorting us into our tent saw us set down our suitcases and saw how excited the girls were and saw the space and how we moved about the space. And they said, you know, I think we need to move you to another tent tomorrow night. And I am of course thinking this is what it means to be open to the possibility that there is something incredible out there for you. And while this might seem like a trite example, these small things, these small shifts in mindset, these small shifts in how we show up and how we react and respond to situations completely add up and become something great and incredible. And while I'm thinking, heck yeah, if you need to move us. You move us, you put us wherever you want because I trust in you, I trust in this process and I am open to the possibility of whatever. And Audrey, my seven year old, heard this and she said, no, no, no, no, I don't wanna move, Mom. I love this tent. I don't wanna move, I don't wanna move, I don't wanna move. I wanna stay right here. And panic took over. And in that instant I realized, this is the transformation that I have gone through. I used to hold on to what we have now because it was good, because it was more than good, it was great. And I couldn't see and be open to the possibility that there is something even more incredible outside of this luxury, incredible tent that we were in right now. And I sat down next to Audrey and I said, audrey, this is your opportunity to trust that something cool is going to happen when we move tents. So we don't know what it's going to be. We don't even know what this tent is going to look like. No clue. But just, let's just see what they say, let's just see what happens and be open to the possibility that, that there is something cool coming tomorrow when they move our tents. And she thought, and she looked at me and she nodded her head, okay, okay, I'll be open to that possibility, Mom. And sure enough, when they showed up the next morning, before we went out on our first day of safari, they said, pack your bags, leave them packed, don't forget to lock your tent so the baboons don't come in and we'll move everything while you're gone. And we went out and had an amazing day on the safari. And we came back at the end of the day and they guided us to our new tent which was further down the path and further removed from the row of tents where we started on our first night. And we walked down the lighted path with the lanterns glowing and we turned to the right and we saw what could have been a house. This tent had stairs up on the backside to go up to a lookout point so you could see the savannah and you could see the animals. And when we walked around to the side and went up the porch, we walked into the first half of our tent which had a bedroom and two, four post beds, just like the other tent, with bathrooms in the back. But in the middle there was an even larger sitting room that connected to a second bedroom with two, four post beds, two bathrooms and a second front porch. And Audrey again was in awe that it could get even better, that it could get even better than where she was the night before. And this is what it means to be right on time. This is what it means to surrender and be open to the possibility that there is something incredible at work for you. If you can just be open, you don't even have to. You have to meet it halfway, but you don't have to work very hard at this. The first step is shifting your mindset and shifting from attachment to being detached. You see, yes, I believe in plans. I believe in setting intentions, and I believe in having goals wholeheartedly. You have to show up, right? You have to meet your plans halfway. But when you are attached and you resist surrender and you resist this idea of being right on time, it's hard for the good stuff to sneak in. Attachment is squeezing onto something so tight, there is no room for possibility to grow and expand and breathe into the dream. So as I think about attachment versus detachment, right? And maybe you've heard this before where people have said, detach from the outcome, right? Because you can't control the results you're gonna get. You'll set an intention, you'll set a goal, but we can't control that. We don't know what's actually gonna happen. A crazy election could throw things for a loop. Weather patterns could throw things for a loop, right? An Ebola outbreak, as I think about what's happening in the Congo right now, right. Could happen and change your plans entirely. So you can't control the result, but you can set an intention and you can make steps, make a plan and take steps, small steps toward that goal. And throughout it all, detach and be open to the possibility. So to illustrate what it is to be attached, to be attached to a dream, I want you to hold your arms out, stretch your arms out from side to side so they're standing, they're rising next to you, parallel to the floor, straight out. So you're making a T. This feeling that you may have right now, this stretching expansiveness where our chest opens and we can fully take in a breath and fully take in air, that is what it feels like to be open to the possibility and all that space in between when you're opening up, that is where you're creating. Creating space for the magic to happen. Dreams come to life when we have this feeling of expansiveness and openness. Now, instead, conversely, I want you to draw your arms back into you. Close yourself off as much as you can. You're protecting yourself, right? Wrap your arms around you, close and tight in this space of attachment where we're holding on for dear life, we're squeezing, we're being protective, one might even say fearful. There's no room in this space for possibility. There's no room right when we're holding so close and we're holding so tight to what we want to happen. Right when we're in so much control, there's no room for magic. You might also recognize some of these feelings that represent being attached, to be attached. A thought you might hear in your head, a voice you might hear in your head is it's not working. Versus on the detached side, let's try this and see what will happen. When I make a million dollars, then I will. Is one of those attached thoughts a closed off way of thinking Versus when you're open to the possibility you're detached and you surrender. The voice might say, I'm going to be happy and do XYZ now. An attached way of thinking is I'm going to be so upset if I don't reach X target. Versus a detached way of thinking is that I'm learning every step of the way and there is so much joy. There is joy in the journey. If this doesn't go according to plan, I don't know what I'll do. Versus yeah, I've got a plan, but plans change. This is going to be a fun ride. If I would have done that, I would have this by now. Versus something big is at work here. Something I can't even imagine is at work here. I'm going to keep going. Facebook is going to ruin my launch. Is an attached way of thinking versus with these new circumstances, let's try out some new stuff. Let's use this as an opportunity to test and experiment. An attached way of thinking is you need me, you need me. Versus you've got this under control. Why do you need me? Your current team sounds awesome. I'm not hearing what your gaps are. I think you've got this. Do you hear the differences in the attached way of thinking where you're curled up and holding so tight to that result that you want? Versus the detached way of thinking where you start to shift into thoughts of surrender and being open to the possibility where magic can happen? Yeah, you still got to implement. Yeah, we've still got to step into these plans, but as things unfold, we know it's all happening right on time. What I want to invite you to do today is of course, we always think about an action step as we leave the modern CEO podcast. As I want to invite you to think about how you can start to shift your thoughts from attached thinking, from being closed and being so, so tied to the idea of the result that you are seeking that you can't surrender and identify. And listen over the next week or so as thoughts come up and ask yourself, is this an attached way of thinking or am I surrendering or am I leveraging Right on time thinking? I wanna invite you to start to flip those scripts, right? I gave a bunch of examples in this episode of how you can move and shift your thoughts from attached to detached. It doesn't happen overnight. It is gonna take some training because our thoughts, they're stuck in there, right? They've been with us for a while. It is gonna take a little bit of coaching, self coaching and a little bit of retraining to flip those thoughts from attached to detached, from I'm in control to everything's right on time and being open to the possibility. And it's important that we start with our thoughts because our thoughts become our reality. Your thoughts become your reality. So with that, I'm going to leave you today thinking about how you can start to detach from the outcome that you are seeking. Because when you are open to the possibility and you believe that there is something incredible unfolding for you, like I believe there is something incredible unfolding for you, really cool things are going to happen that you can't even imagine right now. Instead of a song today, I want to leave you with a quote, and it's a quote from Wayne Dyer about happiness. There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. I hope you have a happy, happy week. I hope everyone in your world is healthy and I'm so excited to be on this right on time journey for you. As we shift from surrender, as we shift to surrender and we become open to the possibility that incredible things are unfolding for you right now. Thank you so much for being here with me. Thank you so much for chatting with me. I will see you. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not I will see you. I wish I could see you. I always say I'll see you because I can. Like I'm looking at you, I'm envisioning you, but I can't actually see you. So I will chat with you next week. Have a good one, Sam.