How to build your best life
2 Aug 2023 · 35 min
This is a podcast episode titled "How to build your best life" from "The Right on Time and Modern CEO Podcast with Amber McCue," recorded in August 2023. The content features a conversational interview between Amber McCue and Marla J. Alberti, focusing on leadership, self-belief, emotional intelligence, work-life harmony, and personal growth. They discuss strategies for overcoming challenges, the importance of psychological safety in teams, journaling, and maintaining motivation. Amber McCue hosts the episode, engaging Marla in a compassionate and inspiring dialogue about building a fulfilling life and effective leadership.
I always go back to the why, because that's going to be your foundation of how you lead people is the why. There's no project on this world that is going to blow up overnight that you can't sit down and talk to your team about and have an honest conversation about it. So whatever this project is, or whatever this program or whatever it is that this hard task that you're dealing with, how have you as a leader contributed to help it, to ease it? Whether you know or don't know, you need to always assume that your team and that person is dealing with something. You may not know what it is, but always assume that they are. Whether they're single, whether they're married, whether they have dogs, cats, pets, it doesn't matter. And say, okay, how can I help ease this for them to make their job easier again, make it psychologically safe for them.
Holy moly. This is going to be a beautiful episode and conversation. Marla J. Alberti has lived on board a US Carrier and that has made her unsettled, unstoppable. She's native of Jackson, Florida and loves to read, travel and shop. Many of her travels have been on cruises and she has taken 16 so far. One of her mottos is you only live once and she has a passion to see growth in people's lives and wants to pay it forward and you are going to feel that from end to end in this episode. She's an energetic visionary, the owner and founder of Truth Speaker Speaks Group llc, a multimedia company that creates strategies and solutions for work, life, integration and harmony. She's also the founder of IO for Teens, a skill, confidence and career building organization teaching teens how to achieve their dreams based on the science of human behavior. Marla loves speaking, teaching and writing. She's involved in the motivational movement Kim Keep it Moving. Truth Speaks Academy, the annual Women's empowerment conference. Imagine I'm awesome. Growing in excellence. She has a YouTube channel where she's produced 36 episodes and a blog, the Working Woman co. She's an active member of the Junior League of Jacksonville ATD. I stopped Sherm Blacks in IO, APA, ICF and IPPA when she's not trying to save the world, which you are going to see that she does and you're going to get so much from this. If you are feeling stuck, if you are moving through hard times, or if your team is moving through challenging situations. Marla loves a good story and frequents the movies to eat her favorite movie snack, nachos, and loves spending time with her family and friends.
You know it.
Cruising, shopping, and reading. Let's dive into this beautiful conversation that is going to wrap you in compassion and inspire you to keep it moving. Marla, thank you so much for being here.
Hey, Amber.
I'm so pumped for our conversation today. You have a lot of cool stuff going on.
Yes, yes, I do.
All of your expertise, everything that you have built and continue to build. What would you say your zone of genius, your superpower is?
This is such a great question, Amber. Thank you so much for this. So I've called myself as the work life harmonizer. I do not believe in work life balance. And we've heard many experts talk about this balance, right? When you try to balance something, so something's going to always be off kilter. I'm the type of person, as I coach, I coach the whole person, and I believe that same person that lost their dog Scruffy last night is going to be that same person that comes to work. So we can't separate work and life. We can't separate career and life. We can't separate family and work. You know, they're part of who we are. Right? So you have to learn to harmonize all those areas. I'm not saying I have perfected it because I'm human and I'm still doing it as I speak, but I'm walking in those shoes. 99% of my clients, which are mainly a 9 to 5 working woman, I walk in their shoes. I've already done it, and I'm doing it. So I just have learned to find that harmonization. Right? So I just learned to just help them figure out what is it they want and how can you make time for once? I'm a firm believer, Amber. Firm believer. You make time for what you want, girl.
You make time for what you want. And you know, that brings to mind the thought, first you have to know what you want. Like, then you got to get clear on what you want and what we're going after. And then, okay, you make time for what you want. And I have found if I say I want something and I'm not going after it intentionally, I have to read a bit. Do you really want that? Like, is this really something you want?
Exactly, exactly. You have to really know. So that's one of the first things I start off do with my coaching. When I do coaching clients is I have them. Some of them hate me for it, but then at the end of the sessions, they love me. I say, you need to write down, make a list of 10 things. 10 things not 20, 30, 40, 50, but 10 things. If you remove all obstacles, remove money, remove family, remove anything that you think would get in the way. Right. What do you want? Do you want to go to Hawaii? I don't know. Do you want a certain job? Do you want to learn how to play guitar? That's one of my ones. Do you want to learn? What do you want to do? Just make the list and I start them with that. And you'll be amazed, Amber, the amount of people who have never done that. So, voila, Birth of my book. My latest book is the ultimate Brag book, 100 Questions About how awesome you are. I relaunched it back in January, and that's where this came from, because I would be coaching these women, and they would be. They would struggle so hard to come up with these lists about themselves. They never asked themselves, what do I want? So my book has all kinds of great, silly, fun, exciting questions. You know, if you were a CEO of a company, which 10 companies would you run? What are your favorite restaurants, favorite foods, favorite holidays? Favorite. What do you. What are 10, 10 things you love about yourself? What's sexy on you? When was the last time you sat down and wrote down things that are awesome about yourself? Many, many people don't do that. Some people do, but many don't. Many don't. So that's where all of that came from.
I love this. I love that you threw out some of the questions, too, because I was going to ask. You know, we know there's a lot of research that supports when you pause to reflect and look at things like this and explore and have awareness around the circumstances, what's working, what's not working, and we are happier and you get better results when companies look at these things as well. What's the benefit that you see in, like, sitting down and bragging about yourself and just digging into who you are?
Yeah. So the benefit is you get to realize, wait a minute, I am valuable. Wait a minute. I don't have to wait on someone to tell me I'm valuable. I see it because I. And I always tell my clients, you know, if I can believe in you all day long, but I can't believe in you more than you believe in yourself. Right. So, you know, you hear that in a lot of speeches. Right. People say, you know, this person believed in me more than I believed in myself. Well, I'm not a big fan of that. You got to believe in yourself. I can come along and believe with you. Like example, you know, I have all these. I call Myself, these big, hairy, audacious goals. Bhag, right? I have all these goals, but I have to first believe that I can achieve. Achieve the goal, right? Then my friends and family, they'll believe it with me, right? But I have to first believe it. So I. I really help clients understand that, to believe that first. And then once you believe it, no matter how it happens, once you believe it, then you start to realize, okay, maybe I can do this. Because if you can imagine it, you know, Albert Einstein said, if you can imagine it, you can have it. Everything we see this pin, this pin here says the Gateway Arch National Park. I visited the arch in St. Louis not too long ago. Someone had to think about the arch. Someone had to create this pin, right? This is somebody's imagination at one point in time in life, right? This mouse, right? Someone had to imagine the mouse for the. For the laptops and for the computers. Thank God we have one, you know, so you have to have it in your mind first. And everything starts upstairs. So once my clients realize this, they're able to move forward, kind of move the blockers out, because you can't see the frame because you're in the picture, right? So if you're constantly in that box, then how are you going to grow? How are you going to develop? You're going to wait for someone else to tell you your value. You'll wait for someone else to tell you your worth. You're going to wait for somebody else to tell you, oh, I see you. You know, you got to see yourself now. Don't get me wrong. Is great. Leadership wise, you need to. That's a whole nother topic. That's another podcast, Amber. Leaders do need to be encouraging their staff and team, you know, but if that's your sole thing that you're waiting on, if you're waiting on validation from someone else, constant validation, somebody else, it's not going to happen.
What are signs? I'm thinking about a conversation I recently had with someone who's very successful and is going to continue to be successful. And I'm thinking about times in my life similarly. And we were talking actually about belief and doubts that creep up. And I'm thinking about myself also and thinking about times when I may not realize that I don't have beliefs. So I'm wondering, like, what are the signs or the thoughts that we may have if we do not fully believe yet? Because I'm pretty confident the people that I work with and talk to, and I'm pointing at Marla right now, because the People I talk to every day are incredible at what they do. And sometimes doubt creeps in. And I don't even know. We don't even know it. That it's like, oh, oh, oh. We don't have full belief yet. How do we recognize that? Oh, you might have some work to do here around believing in yourself.
Oh, that's such a good question. So a couple of things that I know for sure. Feelings, emotions, they're real. Stop fighting them, okay? They are part of who you are. We're emotional beings. We are energy, right? So stop fighting the energy. Stop fighting the emotions. One thing I tell people is, and I don't take credit for this, I actually heard this from somebody else. If you're standing on the side of the road. So we have. 95 is our major highway here in Florida, runs all the way up to D.C. right? So if you're standing on the road and all these cars are passing you by on 95, pretend like those cars are emotions. What are they doing? They're just passing by, but you're standing on the road. You're standing on the road watching them. But then sometimes there's a traffic jam on 95. So sometimes those emotions will pause. But how long do those cars sit there on 95? They sit there for an hour if it's a traffic jam. Or they may sit there for a couple, you know, couple hours, depending on what happened, you know, but. But eventually the motions will move. But what happens, though, if you run out there into those emotions that are moving, you're going to get hit. So just let them be. Just let the emotions come and be. You know, when you take major leaps in life and jumps, like I just told you I'm making, taking a major jump here doesn't mean that I am not nervous. I'm not scared. I mean, you don't have those emotions, then I would question that because you're not. You're not a robot, right? You're a human being. So you will have these emotions. It's okay. But here's the kicker. You can't allow it to stop you. You guys. Do it anyway. Do it afraid. I think Joyce Meyer says that. Do it afraid. Do it anyway. I think John Maxwell says it as well. Do it anyway. You got to keep moving forward, and you may not have it all figured out. And that's the problem. Part two. That's the problem is we try to figure it all out. You're a big believer in Law of Attraction and universe stuff. The law of attraction truly states you have to love from within, right? And then know what you love, what you want to do and just believe that you can get it done. Right. So another thing I have my clients do is journal, journal. These thoughts, reflect. Sit down and have time with yourself. So many people do not spend time with themselves. And you have to. The first key to emotional intelligence is self awareness. And you have to have a high sense of self awareness, meaning you have to know your ins and outs, what you like, what you don't like, what piss you off, what doesn't piss you off. You know, a lot of people don't sit with themselves. A lot of people want to point fingers and we do that a lot here in the United States. We want to point fingers at everybody else, everybody else's problem. Well, it's your reason why I don't have this. It's your reason why I don't. It's mom's reasons, Dad's reason. Parents did the best they could. Okay? It's time to accept the responsibility. And how can I grow? How can I develop? You have to do the self reflection. So number one, know what your emotions are. Number two, sit down and have that self reflection. Get your journal and have a chit chat with yourself. Ask yourself the hard questions. Ask yourself the hard questions. Why do you think that you can't do it? Have you asked yourself that question? Most people don't. Why do you think you can't? Because my coach of mine, one of my coaches back in the, I always repeat this, she told me, whatever you believe, you're 100% correct. If you say you can't, then you can't, then you won't. It's just that simple. It is just really that simple, you know? So you really have to just stop and just say, okay, I'm going to allow the motions to be. I'm not going to fight them. And guess what? Everyone has a bad day. No one is perfect. Stop trying to model the perfection of social media, right? Because people only show you what they want you to see on social media. They don't show you the headache that they had the day before or the emotions that they went through the day. They don't, they don't show you how they're sitting on the side or 95 waiting for their emotions. They're going, they're going to talk to you about when the emotions are gone and they're happy and great. You got to learn to put blockers on, put boundaries on and know when to say, okay, I've let them come through. I'VE sat in them for a little bit. I reflected, I journaled them, and now it's time for me to move on and see how awesome I am.
You mentioned looking at the hard, asking yourself the hard questions.
Yeah, and then we also want to.
Look at like, okay, and I am awesome. Like, I'm going to sit in that difficult space and I'm awesome. And if you think about integration, the thought came to mind, like, ask some of the hard questions and then maybe seal the deal, like with one of the brag about yourself question. It's a space like you're. If you're feeling it and like, oh, this is hurting right now. Like, okay, don't forget how awesome you are too.
Exactly, exactly, exactly. And stop waiting for people to tell you this. Yeah, I mean, yes, there are people you should have a power group of friends, family, colleagues that know your worth, know how awesome you are. But you have to know it too. You gotta believe in yourself too. I mean, I think sometimes, you know, we look at celebrities and, you know, and we fabricate so much of that. And don't get me wrong, I'm fans of tons of people, tons of actresses, singers, but we forget they're human beings as well. They go through the same things we do. They use the bathroom the same way we do, and there's nothing that they're doing that we can't do. People think that they, you know, no, I'm not trying to be a singer like Celine Dion. No, I don't want to be a Celine Dion type singer. I want to be Marla, you know, but if I want to be a singer, I think I could be a singer. I don't know if American Idol would take me, but, you know, I can definitely go out there and try if I wanted to, but I don't want to. I love this.
You know, you do work in or the org psychology space. And I'm hearing so much of that pull through on an individual level and in organizations and for business leaders or our leaders who are listening and they're part of teams, they're in organizations. How does what we are talking about pull through? The feelings, the reflection, the integration and the harmony. Pull through at the team and the organizational level.
So here's the thing. So I promise you I'm writing the book Leadership is not rocket science. And it really is not. People forget. And leaders, please, please, please, please, please hear me. Leaders forget that you became a leader. You may have your own reasons, but leadership is about one thing, people. It's not about the title it's not about the salary, which we know both of those come with it. It's not about looking good on your resume or CD or are to on LinkedIn. All that. Those are just like to me like little perks. But leadership is about people. If you don't care and like people, why do you want to lead them? If no one's following you, you're not a leader. So let's think about those two things first. Then also think about you have to like the people, but then you have to also genuinely care about them. You have to really ask them questions and people think. It's so hard to be a leader, but it's not hard to say good morning to your team. It's not hard to say how was Bobby's baseball game last night? How was the ride over the weekend that you got you and your husband or wife or our family took to our vacation to Disney World or whatever. How was that? You know, so a couple of things you can do in your one on one. So you should be having one on ones with your team. Your team should not wait till it's time for annual review time to know how they're doing that still is existing. I don't understand why, but you should be having one on ones with your team whether it's monthly, every two weeks or whatever. Ask them is their time, ask them how they're doing. Now obviously there's HR policies, we can't dig too deep into the ropes. But be a safe place. A lot of leaders are not a safe place for their team. So what happens is when your people withdraw and then they go talk to everybody else besides you, right? And that's the last thing you want, right? You want to be a safe place for them to be able to come and talk. Number two is in speaking of the psychological safety is once teams have that psychological safety and once you show that you really care, voila, they'll do anything for you. It's like magic, you know, but you have to genuinely care. What I have seen throughout my tenure as leaders in leadership roles, and I've had quite a few is I've had some leaders that generally care and I have some that don't. And the ones that don't, it shows. And the ones that do, man, man, I flourished the ones that did because. Because when you don't care, it's a cloud, right? It's a cloud over you and it pushes that team down. So you have to really ask yourself, okay, you're climbing this corporate ladder. The next role you Want to apply for is be a director, supervisor, manager, chief. Why? Why, why do you want. Why do you want to lead people? Do you care about people? Do you like people? Do you care about their genuine interest? Find out about them. Right. And let's say they're not doing well. Okay. Or. Or something's happening in their life. Okay. Find out what's going on. Find out. People again. Work, life, integration. That same person that lost somebody is coming to work and there is no time. Even though companies give us bereavement days, there is no time on grief. Right. It's because we get five days of bereavement. Isn't me. On the sixth day when Susie comes back, she's fine. Yeah.
You know, this is so good. I'm so grateful to you for this conversation. And there's been a lot happening, Right. In the last few years, and a lot continues to happen in life and at work and. And when something's going on hard in someone's life. Right. And odds are somebody's dealing with something hard at any given time, all the time. And then there's something hard going on at work.
Yep.
And we've still got to navigate that because there are budgets and there are people to take care of and clients and customers and, you know, there's. So how do you deal with the hard at business when someone's got something hard going on in their life, too? How do you approach that with compassion and still move through it together?
Yeah. As a leader. So step back and show your team that it is hard. Step back and realize that. Be authentic and say, guys, project or whatever it is we're dealing with, this is hard. This is a lot we have going on. I understand this project is. Is moving at X amount of speed. We have this going on. Reach out to me again. It goes back, Amber. It goes back to psychological safety. If they're not safe to talk to you, they're not going to say anything to you. So if they're already dealing with something hard at work, they're hard at home. Do you think that they're going to. Which one you think is going to weigh out more? The one at home is going to take more precedent because the one at work, you're not listening to them anyway. So as a leader, you have to show compassion. You have to sit back and listen and say, I. I. It's hard for me, too. Let them know you're human just like they are. A lot of leaders don't want to be authentic about that. Right. So let them know you're human and that you're dealing with it, too, as a leader. But here are some steps that we can do to move forward. I will have daily huddles, 15 minutes to check in with you guys. I will do this. I will. What will you do as a leader? They're looking to you to help guide them, to help them through this hard task. How are you doing that? Or are you concerned about the bottom line? Are you concerned about just pushing the number? Right. So again, again, it goes back to why did you take the role? Right. And so I always go back to the why. I always go back to the Simon Sinek. Right. I always go back to that why. Because that. That's going to be your foundation of how you lead people is the why. So if something is hard, I don't care. I don't care. There's no project on this world that is going to blow up overnight that you can't sit down and talk to your team about and have an honest conversation about it. Seriously. I don't know of any. I mean, maybe there is, but I. I don't think there is, Honestly. Yeah. No. So whatever this project is or whatever this program or whatever it is that this hard task that you're dealing with, how have you, as a leader contributed to help it, to ease it? And knowing that whether you know or don't know, you need to always assume. Always assume that your team is dealing. That person's dealing with something. You may not know what it is, but always assume that they are, whether they're single, whether they're married, whether they have dogs, cats, pets, it doesn't matter. Right. Don't assume because she's a single mom that she can't stay after work because of her kids. Don't assume that. Just assume that there is something going on always. Right. And say, okay, how can I help ease this for them to make their job easier again, make it psychologically safe for them.
I'm loving it.
Okay.
You have a phrase called keep it moving. I have to know more about this and where this comes from.
Oh, my gosh. So this is my motivational phrase. This came back up. This came up early in my coaching day. So my coaching business is 10 years old. Turned 10 years old this year in April and maybe about six. Six. Oh, my God. It's been longer than that. Maybe. I want to say maybe like nine years ago when I first started the business. Again, everything comes from my clients. Everything. My motivation is my clients. That's. That's it. And one thing I noticed Outside of them putting themselves down was. They're stuck. Oh, I can't do this. I can't do that. We all have an it. We all. I just said that, right? Always assume that your team is going through something. Everyone has an it. I got to it. You got to it, Amber. Doesn't mean I'm gonna share it with you. I mean, you're gonna share with me, but we all have an it. Something is always going to irritate you. Something's going to always bother you. Something's going to always that. It's going to always be there. It's going to always be there. Right? It's up to you what you do with it. So you need to keep it moving. Keep it moving now, again, you have to stay on the sideline. You have to stay on the side 95 and watch the emotions go by for a minute. You may have to do that. It's okay. It's okay. I'm not about being, you know, static hearing robots. Right? That's okay. However, you gotta keep keep moving. Eventually the traffic's gonna move. The traffic's not gonna. The emotions are gonna go. So what's gonna be your excuse next? Right? Keep it moving. That's where it came from. And I have the T shirt. I remind myself of it every time. Even when I. With some of the stuff that I have going on. The phrase, I tell myself it'll get done because we always. I always have it. Yes. I live my. My family and friends laugh at me because I live by my. My Google calendar, like, literally. But I control my Google calendar. I can delete off of there whatever I want to delete off of there. Boom. I love this.
You know, I do have an it. And, you know, you mentioned this and like.
Yeah, I know exactly.
I got. I mean, I got a list of it.
We got a list of it.
And I've got one big thing. I'm like, man, I am stuck on this thing, and I'm sharing this in case maybe someone who's listening has been in the space or is in this space now. And I'm in the middle the stuck. I'm like, oh, I'm moving slow. I am causing the Traffic jam on 95. All the things that are going on, and there's part of me I know it will move. We will move again. This traffic will move again. I don't know when. I don't know exactly how we're going to get unstuck. The traffic jam actually may look more a little bit like an abidjan right where I am now in West Africa, they look more like an Amazon traffic jam than a 95 traffic jam. But I know it's going to move again. And when you're in that space and clearly you've got coaching skills and strategies to move people through that. But I live life right on time, and I know it's going to come. I've got space that I've got 10 days carved out to, like, work through the it, and I've got space in my calendar, and I've got days and I've got time, and I've got to process and journal and reflect and read and just really dig in. And I feel okay with that plan. I feel okay with the space. I feel okay with, you know, it's right on time. What comes up for you? For someone who maybe I am in that space and others who are listening who may be in that space of, like, man, I am the traffic jam right now.
Right. Okay. Where's your journal? Why are you. The traffic jam? Yeah, where's your journal? Are you journaling? Are you reflecting? I love how you said that you took the time. I am a big believer in something I tell my clients all the time. I tell them you have to block time for you on your account. When I mean block, I mean literally block. So if I'm going to get my nails done on my calendar, it literally says nails done. If I'm going to get my hair done, it literally says hair done. If I'm going to go read, it literally says reading time from 5 to 6. And that's what I'm doing. I'm not answering my phone. I'm not looking at social media. I'm not texting. That's what I'm. I block time for me because I heard. I heard Darren Hardy say it this morning as I was listening to his podcast. He said that one thing we all have in common is we all got the same 24 hours a day. Yeah. Right. So I'm not a fan of time management. You cannot manage something that keeps moving, but you can manage yourself. You can manage yourself. I do not. Time management. I. I don't like time management books. To me, they suck. Right? It's stealth management. And Darren Hardy said earlier, I heard him say it. He said, Dr. Oz, he. What he uses is energy management. How are you? Where's your energy going? How are you exerting your energy? What's the 80 20, something that Ben Hardy talks about? What is the 80 20? What is the 80% that you need to give up. Because 20% is going to produce what you need.
That's the result. Yeah.
So true.
And as you were thinking like walking that time, where's my journal? Next to my bed stand. I have not been journaling a lot lately. So if anyone's right there, there's a little wall that's gonna be my meditation.
Journaling is so healing. Like every night I pull out my journal and I just write the things that happen. So two things I do at night, I write down five words I'm grateful for and then I write down or five things I have that right before that happened that day. And then I write down, then I write in my journal and I write down the things that happened that day or whether they were good, bad, sad, ugly, whatever. I write them all down. I write how I feel. It's my journal, you know, and God forbid, when I pass or whatever, my son and my daughter in law, my great, great grandkids, they'll read it, they'll be like, oh, my grandma was crazy, but it's okay. I love that, you know, but that's how I was feeling at the time. Right. And it is so freeing, Amber. It's so freeing is people take it for granted, the journaling process, but it really is something that I think, even if it's for just for three minutes. Yeah. You know, people sometimes they said, I can't write. Yes, you can. You can.
You can write. I can't write. I have, I have nothing right now. Like write it, show up.
Stop trying to make it perfect. It's your journal. You're not writing a novel for other people to read. It's your journal. It doesn't matter if the words aren't spelled right. Who cares? Get it all out and you'll be amazed the amount of ideas that come. That's. I'm a firm believer in. Like when I coach my team or coach people, I have them to get a journal. Now I'm okay with typing notes in your phone. I am a note. I am a note taker on my phone. I do have notes on my phone. But I am really big with getting that pen in my hand and getting a journal that I can open up and I can physically write because the brain get things done quicker and processes faster. When you are putting it in, have your pen in your hand and you're actually writing on a piece of paper or a notebook or something. So that, that's where it starts at. Get, get that journal out and start reflecting and start figuring out what's going on.
Here.
Trust me, you have. And that's the one thing we believe as coaches. You have the answer. As a coach, there's not one coach out there. And please come argue with me if you want to. There's not one coach out there that does not believe that their client does not have the answer. If you don't believe that, then you're not. You're not a true coach. Because as a coach, we have to believe that you have the answer with inside of you. We just help you dig out. Dig it out. I love to say dig out the gold. We already know the gold is in you, right? Why? You're already awesome. We already know that. But let's dig it out. Let's. Let's help you dig it out. So that's what we help you do. But I already know it's there.
So stinking good.
I love it.
The gold is there. We're going to excavate it. Marla is going to help excavate.
Activated.
I love this. And, you know, you mentioned the schedule, and I. I share that. I've got 10 days where I'm just blocking to really process creating a lot of space. But I blocked those days, like, two months ago. So this isn't like, okay, traffic jams, building, but we're gonna get through it eventually. Like, sorry, everybody.
Keep them. Keep them blocked. Okay? And guess what. Don't guess what, guys. Oh, people get so mad, you know, I missed my time, Marla. I did. I had it blocked for 4 to 5, and I was only able to do 4 to 4. 15. Okay. Did you do something, though? You did something. Give yourself credit for what you have done, not for what you didn't do. So we focus so much on what we didn't do and what we don't. Like, focus on what you did do. Even if you had your hour block for an hour and you only did 10 minutes, well, dog gone, it did 10 minutes. You did 10 minutes of that reflection. You did 10 minutes of that journey. You did 10 minutes of that exercise. You did 10 minutes. That's better than what you did do, right? So focus on that. Focus on what you want. Focus on moving forward. Keep it moving. Keep it moving.
Keep it moving, everybody. I am a feeling. Marla's probably seen it. There are, like, tears welling up in my eyes right now because the amount of compassion that you have, Marla, just oozes out. It is so beautiful. And I hope as you're listening to this episode, you can hear Marla's compassion, because I can see It, I'm with her, feel it, I mean, from end to end. And it moves me because it is so cool that there are leaders, there are people doing what you are doing and creating and serving in the way that you are and doing it with so much heart and compassion. So I just want to thank you.
Thank you, Amber. Thank you so much for those kind words. I. And you're right, I do. I mean, I. By no means, Amber and crowd and folks, I don't get it right every time. I'm not perfect, you know, But I do have a deep passion to see people grow and develop. You know, Jim Rome said, if you're at the top by yourself, you did something wrong. You do enough for everyone else. Your needs and your goals will be taken care of. But sometimes people, you know, misconstrue that statement and it means to not put themselves first, you need to put yourself first. You got to love yourself. You got to love yourself. Why do you think they tell you to put the oxygen mask on first on the plane, Right? You got to take care of yourself in order for your cup to be full so you can pour out to give to others. Others, right? So I'm constantly taking time for myself, blocking my calendar. I practice what I preach. I literally practice what I preach. Am I perfect? No, I'm not perfect, right? People ask me all the time, how do I get it all done. I'm a work life harmony. I harm. I do the practices that I coach on. I literally do, you know, I journal. I take time for myself. I'll cancel something on my calendar. Just. So go to a movie, right? Because I. Because I need to. I need a break. My friends and family know I'll jump on a cruise ship in a heartbeat. I'm a cruiser, you know, so open.
Invite if anybody needs someone to cruise with.
So, yeah. So please don't try to be like anyone else. Be yourself. Who said it? Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs said everybody else is taken. So just be yourself.
Taken.
Be yourself. Be you.
Where do people find you? Where do people get the book? Where do people coach with you? How do people follow up?
Yes. Thank you so much for this. So a few things so you can go to my website, www.Truth Speaks Coaching. Truth Speaks Coaching.com. you want an autographed copy of the book? I will sit. So the autograph copy, 1799 to pay for shipping or you can go to Amazon and get it for 14.99 and get it from Amazon. But obviously if you buy it from my website, obviously that more money Comes to me. Amazon takes some of the money from that. But you know, either or it's okay. But go to the website, make sure you sign up for. If you sign up beyond my email list, you will get. You can download a free Work Life Harmony book. Workbook is not a one page. It's actually free workbook. So you can sign up to be on that as well as my coaching packages. Everything's out there. I have three wonderful packages that are out there that you can reach out for and do a consultation obviously for the non profit that I mentioned earlier, that's IO14. So the letter I O F O R T E-E-N S.org check out the website. And then for following on social media, so it's true. Speaks group. So this look for Truth Speaks group on Instagram, Facebook, look for me under Marla j. Alberti on LinkedIn. And the same for IO for teens. It's all the same for all of the social media outlets.
So dang good. We'll link all of that up in the note for anybody who wants to click through. Absolutely. Thank you. I have one more question for you.
Yes.
What if someone is sitting here today thinking, okay, I am motivated. I am fired. Up, Up. What would you say to them?
Oh, my God. I would say, I would tell them, go do it. I'm telling you this. I say it all the time. You will not see me on my deathbed in 60 years saying, I wish. Make your dash. The birth year and death year. Make that dash mean something.
Make the dash mean something, everybody.
Yeah, whatever that means to you. And if that just. If that means starting a garden, then start the garden. If that means sewing some socks for your future grandkids, that's something I'm not going to do. But do it. If it means traveling the world, do it. If it means quitting the job, do it. If it means starting the business, do it. What are you waiting on? I know we hear that a lot, but it's really real. Especially now since the pandemic, people have realized, you know what? Companies don't care about me as much. Maybe I do need to do something for myself. Do it. Nike. Just do it. Right.
Marla, you're amazing.
Love you. Thank you.
Thanks for being here.
Thank you. Thank you so much.