Therapist Erica Schwartzberg explains how overwhelm freezes your thinking and triggers cravings, while low mood slowly erodes resilience. She shares tools like lying on the floor, long exhales to calm your nervous system, and the RAIN method (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) to manage both.
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Recovery is possible. Recovery is possible. Recovery is possible.
Recovery is possible.
Recovery is possible.
Recovery Dialogues and Sober Stories.
Welcome back to Recovery Dialogues and Sober Stories. I'm your host, Antonio Matta. Today we're tackling something universal yet intensely personal: those moments of overwhelming emotion and persistent low moods that so often complicate the recovery journey. You know, recovery isn't a straight line. It's a dance, often unpredictable, sometimes messy, but always profoundly human. Joining us today to share clinical insights is Erica Schwartzberg, a therapist at Downtown Somatic Therapy in New York City. Erika integrates psychodynamic, relational, somatic, and mindfulness-based approaches, specializing in interpersonal psychoanalysis, EMDR, and mindfulness. Her compassionate approach emphasizes gently listening to the body's wisdom, empowering clients to transform their internal experiences and enhance their relationships and connection to the world around them.
Antonio Matta.
I've been finding myself overwhelmed lately, sometimes feeling really down and uncertain about how to move forward. I know recovery is about reaching our fullest potential through deliberate positive life changes, but some days that feels incredibly tough. How do you cope when you're feeling overwhelmed or down? Any insights or practical tips you could share would mean a lot.
When we talk about overwhelm, we're referring to those transient but intense episodes where emotions like anxiety, despair, or anger flood our systems, often leaving us feeling paralyzed. This isn't just stress. It's an emotional overload that can impair our thinking and daily functioning. Our brains literally hit pause. Ruminating thoughts take over. Our bodies tense up. And we find ourselves withdrawing or even craving substances to soothe the pain.
When I'm feeling overwhelmed, one of the things that I like to do is lie on the ground in my living room. Feeling the earth supported beneath me starts to settle my nervous system. Again, taking deep breaths might sound simple and also difficult. When we're in our fight or flight mode, one of the first signs is a dry mouth. And that's because the sympathetic nervous system prepares us for danger, shuts down the digestive tract. So that includes saliva production. When we start to slow our breath down, especially with longer exhales, we cue our parasympathetic nervous system, our rest and digest mode, to come back online. So we might notice that our mouth moistens and saliva starts to pull. And that's a subtle but powerful sign that we are safe and the body is getting the message to relax. This grounded breath and mindful touch co-regulation comes into play.
On the flip side, persistent low mood is that quiet yet constant companion many in recovery know too well, clinically recognized as persistent depressive disorder or dysthymia. It's subtle but relentless, characterized by ongoing sadness, fatigue, low self-worth, and difficulty concentrating. Think of it as a background hum of despair that can persist for years, quietly eroding our resilience. Why does this happen, particularly in recovery? Research tells us it's a complicated interplay of our neurobiology, past trauma, and the resources available to us—the personal, social, and community supports we call recovery capital. Neurobiologically, it's like our emotional brakes, the prefrontal cortex, fail to slow down our overactive emotional accelerator, the limbic system. Add to that chronic stress from past traumas or struggles with addiction, and our brains and bodies can become chronically overloaded. A state known as allostatic load.
Another technique I like is associated with mindfulness and DBT, which is dialectical behavioral therapy. And it is the RAIN technique, which is an acronym that stands for recognize, allow, investigate, and nurture. So with recognizing, we notice what's happening and we name it gently. I'm feeling anxious. This is grief. This is too much. Through a relational and somatic lens, we can ask, where is this in my body? What is the texture, the temperature? Does it want to move or rest? Allowing is allowing it to be there. It doesn't mean that you like it, but you also don't push it away. You make space for it. So from a Buddhist perspective, this is where we say this belongs to. It's not from pain or resistance. It starts to allow for more space. And then when we investigate with kindness, instead of overanalyzing, we can get curious as we would with a loving friend. And we say, what emotion is it asking for? Noticing with tenderness rather than judgment allows the experience to unfold safely. And nurturing with self-compassion. I like to look to Kristin Neff, who has done a lot of studies on self-compassion, and she has said that this moment of suffering is part of being human. May I be kind to myself in this moment.
But here's something important: emotional overwhelm isn't just suffering. It can also be a signal, a powerful moment of insight. It calls us to pause, reassess, and seek support. In fact, qualitative studies highlight how people often describe overwhelm vividly: drowning in a sea of feelings, feeling engulfed by darkness, Yet, these intense experiences can become catalysts for growth, helping us pivot towards healthier coping strategies. So, what can we practically do when these moments strike? Grounding and mindfulness techniques offer immediate relief. Practices like the 5-4-3-2-1 method, acknowledging 5 things you see, 4 you can feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and one you taste, help anchor us back to reality. Deep breathing and self-soothing activities also activate our body's calming systems, providing quick comfort.
As in recovery, on some days it might look like lying on the floor. It might be doing chores in the house, but it's letting ourselves have that space to be and working with the relationship. We have with ourselves. And something I'm grateful for in recovery is that heightened awareness of my feelings and the presence of mind to notice what's happening inside me without numbing it away. I'm no longer rushing to self-medicate the discomfort, whether it's with substances, food, scrolling, shopping. Instead, I'm learning to sit with it, to feel what I used to put down, to stay when I used to flee. Sometimes in that space, Just by noticing, a shift happens. As Ram Dass says about embracing darkness, it is our shadow that is our greatest teacher for how to come into the light.
For long-term resilience, therapeutic interventions like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) provide skills to manage overwhelming emotions and challenge persistent depressive thoughts. Equally important are relational supports. Building a community, engaging with peers who genuinely understand, and developing the emotional honesty needed to openly acknowledge difficult emotions without judgment.
We can also place a hand on our heart, on our belly, and give kindness to say, "I'm here and I support you." From a somatic therapy lens, that physical touch helps regulate the nervous system, and it's a reminder that you are not alone in this moment. With the Buddhist and mindfulness traditions, recognizing that we are not trying to fix our suffering, we are learning to be in relationship with it and without abandoning ourselves. It is a lifestyle practice that we come back to. Day after day, moment after moment.
Remember, experiencing emotional turbulence in recovery isn't a sign of failure. It's deeply human. Thank you again to Erica Schwartzberg for sharing her invaluable insights today. Erica's email is erica@downtownsomatictherapy.com. If you or someone you know would like to support support our show, please consider sponsoring an episode or an entire season. Email me directly or DM me on social media. We're also grateful for any contributions to our ongoing campaign at gofundme.com/recoverydialogs. And don't forget, you can support and proudly promote your recovery journey with merch with meaning, available now at recoverydialogs.com. As we wrap up, remember, your story is powerful, your recovery is courageous, and each day you commit to your well-being is an act of bravery. Until next time, keep moving forward in authenticity and hope.
Recovery is possible. Recovery is possible. Recovery is possible.
Recovery is possible. Recovery is possible. Recovery Dialogues and Sober Stories.
