Helping Healthcare Workers in Recovery Redefine Their Self-Worth

Welcome to Recovery Dialogues and Sober Stories, where we explore the world of addiction recovery and share inspiring stories of triumph. This is a summer bonus episode brought to you by Healing Breaths. We will chat with Dr. Rob Feeley, a compassionate healthcare professional revolutionizing mental health treatment, particularly in substance use disorders. Dr. Feeley is an expert in his field, having completed his psychiatry residency and addiction psychiatry fellowship at Yale University School of Medicine. With board certifications in addiction and general adult psychiatry, he constantly seeks innovative approaches to help his patients recover. One of Dr. Felley's passions is incorporating holistic therapies into his practice. He believes true healing involves not only the physical aspects of addiction but also the mental emotional, and spiritual components. Through his teachings and practice of SKY Breath Meditation, Dr. Fili guides his patients to connect with their inner selves, reclaiming peace of mind and paving the way for a sustainable recovery. Join us as we explore the transformative power of holistic therapies and learn how the SKY Recovery Program for Healing Breaths is positively impacting the lives of individuals in recovery. This interview will discuss the connection between self-esteem and addiction recovery among healthcare workers. We will also explore practical methods for improving one's self-worth and how healthcare professionals can use them to strengthen their recovery journey. Additionally, we will touch on the importance of maintaining self-esteem while focusing on recovery, the benefits of cognitive reframing, and ways to support healthcare workers in boosting their self-perception. Let's dive in. So, Dr. Feeley, in addiction recovery, healthcare workers who shoulder significant responsibilities may wonder about the connection between their sense of self-worth and their journey toward healing. Can you shed some light on this topic?

I think one thing that's unique to healthcare workers in particular is that we go into this field to alleviate suffering. And suffering is inevitable, meaning there's an endless supply. And so that's a constant, that people show up suffering. That's why they need help. And so you can imagine, part of being human in trying to alleviate that suffering means coming up against the possibility that you can't alleviate all the suffering, and therefore you come up against this dynamic where you're confronted with all of the suffering, and then you are then you come up against your own limitations as far as how effective you are in eliminating that suffering. So I think a lot of times feeling like in the face of this endless supply of suffering and the demand on doctors to alleviate that suffering, that there can often be a palpable sense of helplessness and powerlessness in our ability to be effective. And if we rely on— and if our self-esteem or self-worth relies upon our effectiveness in what we do, then perhaps this is a— what's the phrase— a lost cause, meaning that we can't tie our self-worth to the extent that we can reduce suffering, because it seems that we will always run into situations where we won't be able to reduce a person's suffering. I might just add, I don't know if it's relevant to the question, but sometimes healthcare workers' self-esteem is low to begin with when they come into the profession. And many choose this path because of wrong reasons, like to prove our worth, or for the money, or the prestige. And so I think those are unique traits sometimes to doctors, that we might overcompensate as far as why we've picked this path, because we're— we have existing deficits. We also a lot of times pick this path because of other people's expectations of the career path we choose, and so we end up doing something maybe again for the wrong reasons, and we don't have that sense of purpose going into the profession, which can negatively interfere with our sense of self-worth.

Can you provide more information about how a person's decreased self-worth affects their recovery from substance use disorders?

I think how someone's self-worth is perceived and how it affects one's recovery, I think there's a direct link. You can imagine that if one bases their self-worth on all the negative experiences they've had or the things that people have said about them in the past that have made them feel bad, that one wouldn't feel good about themselves. And you could imagine that if one started from that point of not feeling good about oneself, that it's already an uphill battle in trying to feel better. Obviously, if someone's feeling good about themselves, it just makes sense that one would probably have to exert less effort to sustain their recovery because they're starting from a higher set point. But it would seem to me that if someone's self-worth is low and that's because they've internalized experiences or other people's opinions about them that are negative, that really what we're essentially doing is we're handing over our power to these people and experiences and letting these things define our worth. And so if we don't feel worthy because we don't feel like we're worth much, then it would strike me that one might also possibly not feel worthy to improve or to get better, right? There can be this sense of not wanting to get better, to get sober. There could be this deep sense of futility or this deep sense of not deserving a better life because they don't feel that they're worth it.

Although addiction is prevalent in society, it is still stigmatized. Those with substance use disorders often feel discouraged from seeking help. Health workers may also struggle with shame, guilt, and fear of being perceived as weak by others. What innovative self-help strategies could restore and enhance their self-worth that has proven effective in addressing the psychological, emotional, and practical aspects of recovery.

I think this idea that there's a stigma regarding having an addiction or getting treatment for addiction and appearing weak or damaged or less than— I don't think this is unique to healthcare workers in that I think that There are many other populations that would find it also especially hard to seek out help or to admit that they have a problem. Like you suggested, I do think that because healthcare workers typically try to come across or appear as strong and effective and heroic, I do think it can be tougher for these types of personalities to admit or seek out, um, help because we're used to and we're tasked with trying to take care of others. And so confronting a weakness within ourself really calls into our into question our ability to effectively care for others. As far as what methods can be very helpful, what we know is that a mechanism to help you more effectively deal with your mind and your emotions and stress can give you more confidence in yourself in your ability to bounce back quicker, to maintain resilience in the face of adversity, to remain equanimous in challenging situations. I think it's a technique that could do these things that would really demonstrate to ourselves that we don't really need anyone or anything else outside of ourselves to convince us that we're worth it. I think it's really about doing something whereby we're taking maximum responsibility to help ourselves manage our mind. Because isn't the mind the source of how we feel about ourselves? If the mind is filled with negative thoughts, if the mind is fatigued, if the mind is burned out, if the mind is caught up with what people have said about us, and how situations went wrong in the past, naturally we're not going to feel good about ourselves. But if there was some mechanism we had whereby we could disentangle the emotional valence from whatever experiences we've had and to see them just as experiences and to have more freedom in how we subsequently interpret the things that have happened to us, That's real freedom. And that what I would like to suggest as a mechanism is the Siddharshan Kriya, or SKY, specifically the SKY Recovery Program, a breath-based meditation that allows one's nervous system to cool down, to relax, so that we can always maintain that wide perspective on the way we think about life and the way we think about our experiences.

When recovering from alcohol and substance use disorders, how can healthcare professionals cultivate self-worth to empower themselves throughout their recovery to bolster resilience, to overcome obstacles and achieve lasting success?

Healthcare workers in aiding their recovery can ultimately move forward in the fastest possible way by taking responsibility for their experiences, meaning If a healthcare worker is feeling depressed or burned out or anxious, rather than blaming patients or the situation or themselves, more constructive way of dealing with this would be to say, independent of the situations around me and what's happening, I'm the one who's struggling. I'm the one left with all these negative emotions. And feeling burned out, what can I do for myself? What is it that I can take responsibility for rather than complaining and blaming? Too often we talk about a broken healthcare system or the difficult patient or our— what's happening at home at when we come home from work. These are all good reasons for why we can become stressed and ultimately become addicted to things like substances to help us manage our emotions. But it seems to me that the way we can really take responsibility for our experiences is— and addressing our addiction is by use— by finding a different way to manage the mind. It strikes me that you can't really think your way out of negative thoughts all the time. Sometimes cognitive behavioral therapy is helpful, but sometimes it can backfire because if we are trying to use the mind to not think certain thoughts, that's also a lot of effort, that takes a lot of energy, and sometimes by trying to think the opposite, it reinforces the initial thought. And what we find is that by taking a backdoor approach where we can use, for example, the breath— by tending to the breath, it really automatically and very quickly just settles the mind. We always talk about in medicine being in the present moment and listening and loving our patients and being compassionate. The thing that's always in the present moment is our breath. And so by tending to the breath, we're really focusing on something that is where we want to be at all times, which is in the now, which is when we're breathing. We're always breathing now. So the idea is that physicians, healthcare workers, nurses, whoever is suffering from an addiction, there has to be this shift in attitude that number one, I have to realize that my being is just as important as the patient's wellbeing that I'm serving. So that's the first thing, which is to have a shift in our understanding of what it means to serve, which is to say my being is paramount as well. Because only once I'm feeling full and complete can I be a better vessel to serve others. But the second thing is, like I just mentioned, is finding that effective mechanism to get to that place of fullness. And I would like to reiterate my belief that sky breathing is one such mechanism that is an incredibly powerful and quick way to reach this state.

Health care workers may have low self-esteem, making it hard to admit vulnerability and seek help. However, building healthier self-worth can promote a positive attitude towards seeking support. Is there a way for providers to use self-worth as a catalyst for change?

Such good questions. Essentially, the question was, can healthcare providers use low self-worth as a catalyst to seek help? I don't think anybody seeks help when they're feeling good about themselves, and I do think that whenever somebody does seek help It's ultimately because things aren't going well. And I think that what we know is that with addiction, that sometimes it really takes things becoming really bad in order for someone to seek help, and that they have to come to this understanding on their own terms that unless they do something different, they're not going to change. So I think you've answered this question within your question, but I would say that low self-worth ultimately is a catalyst for seeking help. I would argue though that many who have low self-worth who are seeking help probably aren't even aware that they have low self-worth or that they undervalue themselves or they don't hold themselves in high regard. I think just the pure admission that they have low self-worth would be difficult for many, but I think that being honest with ourselves can go a long way. Meaning, if one could really understand that they truly didn't feel good about themselves and that they wanted to feel good about themselves, and they thought about, how can I feel good about myself, I think that would probably be a more nuanced and detailed thought process than what typically happens. I think oftentimes with healthcare professionals, unfortunately, there's a consequence where there's some sort of problem that comes to light, or someone says something or notices something, or the work suffers because they're more tired or they're not present, or the addiction is getting in the way of their functioning. And I think it's, it's more things like that ultimately land healthcare professionals into treatment. And so I'm not sure how we could screen people for low self-worth ahead of time and to almost prevent bad outcomes from happening in the first place. And see if there's a way to get those sorts of people help.

How does cognitive reframing assist in reconstructing one's self-perception during addiction recovery to ensure long-term success?

I think that the way we think about the things in our life and the way we think about ourselves has a direct impact on whether we become depressed or anxious or stressed and ultimately fall prey to cravings and addiction. I think that therefore, if there's a way we can loosen our understanding of ourselves from the way we're thinking, that we're in a better position to have a better outcome, meaning to stay sober. I think this is because the more rigid our thinking is, the less flexible we are in how we interpret events. And also the way we will ultimately be able to move forward. So cognitive reframing is helpful, but it begs the question how to do it, because It's hard sometimes just to completely change the way we think about things. Isn't that our experience? If that was the case, nobody would be depressed, nobody would be anxious. We could just change the way we think. In my experience, the best way to facilitate cognitive reframing is not necessarily just by telling yourself to think differently, and that, that can help. It's not to say there isn't a role for that type of— those affirmations and the way we kind of deconstruct and reconstruct our thoughts. But again, this points towards needing an additional mechanism, an additional way, an additional approach that helps us effortlessly calm down, manage stress better, and leave room for alternative ways of thinking about our experiences. And again, the best way in my opinion to do this is by having a technique that brings you to that space very quickly and reliably, which can help you settle down and interpret the events in your life in a more meaningful and positive way.

How does the negative perception of addiction affect an individual's sense of self-worth, and what actions can we take together to challenge and transform this viewpoint and negative narrative?

I think the general perception of addiction is another way of saying what is the general stigma, which is that people with addiction maybe are morally weak. Or maybe the other model, obviously, that's talked about is that addiction is a disease. People— there, there's a perception that, that addiction is the result of a moral weakness and an inability to behave well, so to speak, that they can't control themselves and that they're making a choice, whereas the disease model of addiction says that they're not making a choice, that it's a disease. But I think in both cases, it, it can sometimes make people feel badly about themselves, and that if they're told that they're being morally I don't know, like they have a moral problem or that they have a disease. I think these things can sometimes affect people negatively in their recovery. Now, I think the disease model leaves a little bit more room for growth, meaning if someone isn't being told that they're a morally bad person and that their behaviors are a result of a disease in their brain, I think it helps them see what's happening more objectively and take it less personally, and they can maybe move on faster. I think a negative to the disease model is that perhaps it might make people not take as much responsibility and say, I guess I just have a disease, and 'there's not much I can do' and take a more fatalistic approach about it. But I think that the popular perception of addiction makes it very hard to feel like they can quote-unquote be normal and reintegrate into society in a way that they want to be accepted by everybody. And so what can we do to help counter that perception or to challenge that? Well, it's my personal belief that propitiating this theory that it's a moral shortcoming, I, I don't believe that's true. I think that there's something more at play, meaning that, that there is less of a role of choice in addiction than proponents of that theory would suggest, of feeling like an addiction is a moral shortcoming. And so I think we need to understand that in fact addiction can be considered a disease But I think that the way we need to think about addiction to really break the stigma and this current perception is that, okay, it may be a disease, but let's take it one step further. In my experience as an addiction psychiatrist, I've seen people transcend addiction, meaning they acknowledge they have an addiction They struggle with it, but they get better, and then they can actually put it behind them. Not in a way of denial, not denying that there's a problem or that there was a problem, but moving on in a way where they don't identify with it as much and it doesn't rule their life. So I think educating the public that just like many other diseases out there, medical diseases, eczema, diabetes, whatever may be the case, that just because it's a disease in the present time doesn't mean it can't be healed. And that might be controversial in the AA world where we're taught once an addict, always an addict. And I think that serves a purpose. I think on some level you could think of that as being true, in that you don't ever want to forget where you came from, where you were, what you were struggling with, so that you don't go back there. But I don't think we need to martyr ourselves for the rest of our life thinking of ourselves in this way, because I think thinking of ourselves perpetually as an addict, while it might serve a positive purpose in the very beginning, meaning we're not in denial and we're admitting to ourselves we have a problem, I think that identifying as an addict eternally makes it hard for people to feel worthy and to feel comfortable connecting to the rest of society. That's been my experience. And so we need to find a way, such as with these techniques that I speak of, that I really truly believe can help people transcend these labels and these experiences and biologically, literally rewire the brain. We've all heard by now of studies that have shown that meditation, yoga, spiritual practices affect the structure and function of the brain.

Do you have any recommendations for mindfulness techniques or self-reflection practices that can aid in increasing an individual's self-esteem while at the same time working toward recovering from alcohol or substance use disorders.

I received the very best training at Yale. I was very lucky to go there and do my psychiatry residency there, learn the ins and the outs of medications, and, um, learn how to do therapy. And when I graduated and started in private practice, what I realized was I could give people the very best care. I could put them on the right medications, or I could refer them to the very best therapist in town who was doing a therapy, an evidence-based therapy for addiction, and many people would still relapse. And it begged the question, why? Why? If we were providing evidence-based standard care, why were, why was a segment of the addicted population chronically relapsing? And it, it really just felt like an inability to manage stress resulting in low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, insomnia that would just lead to relapse. And so what I truly believe is, as someone who learned the sky breathing technique sitting across from these individuals and having a really effective way to manage stress, that if there was some way that I could help people, it would be through offering them really effective time-honored tested techniques that really work effectively and quickly. And so what I started to do was to work with the Sky Recovery Team, which offers this Sky Breath Meditation to the individuals with addiction. What we started to see were profound transformations. People who are chronically relapsing, bouncing from treatment center to treatment center, suddenly weren't anymore. And I have a couple of patients of my own who transformed significantly. One gentleman by the name of Michael was working at an airline company, was set to lose his job, was set to lose his marriage, and had tried many different medications, many different therapies, and at a certain point was ready to throw in the towel. And when I recommended him do a program like this, Sky Breath Meditation, you know, he just threw his hands up in the air and said, 'Why would you drag me to some granola type of program?' But he reluctantly agreed eventually at my insistence, and after the first night of this course, of this 3-day course, actually on the second day, he said that after the first night of the course, he was able to sleep well for the first time in many years. He had a broad smile on his face. By the end of the course, He felt alive. He felt enthusiastic. He felt invigorated. He felt refreshed. Fast forward a month later, his marriage was saved. He was able to retain his job. He became a vegetarian simply by becoming much more aware of how food impacted his consciousness. And he also started to take a more active role in his community as far as community service. All of these things I just mentioned, I've never seen accomplished by a medication. I've also never seen all of these things happen as quickly as they did with therapy. Now I'm not suggesting that therapy or medications don't have a role. Of course they do. But I definitely think that there needs to be something dedicated to enhancing and increasing an individual's awareness of themselves in a way that's different from therapy and medication.

Lastly, you've had an instrumental role in facilitating the SKY program. Can you share a memorable success story where an individual, especially a healthcare professional, redefined their self-worth and experienced authentic transformation on their road to recovery?

I've been privileged to not only learn the SKY breath meditation technique but also to teach it to other healthcare providers in the community and at other organizations. I'll share a story of a healthcare provider that we had taught last year. This lady was a 32-year-old female who was a physician, or who, who had been a physician, but really had lost meaning and purpose in her job. Her addiction had gotten so bad that there were times where she wouldn't show up to work, and she would get reprimanded, and there was grave concern from the administration that she needed treatment. And part of her treatment involves taking this program. And this was someone who really yearned for companionship in her life. She was single, uh, she wanted to be in a relationship. She felt very lonely. She again had been underperforming on her job, and she had also had difficult relationships with her family. She and her family had very difficult moments in which they had to cut off communication. They had to go a long time without sometimes contacting each other or seeing each other. And so she felt very lonely in her recovery, and she was involved in 12-step While she found it helpful and supportive, she just would chronically relapse, meaning the longest period of sobriety might have been about 2 weeks, and then after which point there would be some trigger in her environment, and then she would relapse, and the cycle would continue. And she would somehow maybe show up to work seemingly okay on Monday. She took this program And on the first day of the Course prior to starting, I remember her having a very flat affect, meaning she just had a very kind of, um, a facial expression that, that in fact lacked expression. There was no expression in her face. There was an emptiness, a vacancy within her eyes, a sort of avoid that she said was palpable. After the course, she knew she really had to do something different. She really enjoyed the course, and she committed to practicing these techniques for 30 days before deciding whether she was going to continue or give it up. During that period of time, she remained sober. She felt it had a tremendous impact on her anxiety. She felt like she could go to work and actually feel normal. She felt like she could smile with people around her. She felt like she was in more control of her emotions, meaning that it took a lot more to get her stressed and upset than it had prior to taking this course. She had a better grip on her anxiety and her mood. She was sleeping better. She ended up meeting somebody, a boyfriend. Fast forward a year later, she got married. Fast forward another year, she had a kid, and she also has maintained a stable job. This is someone that prior to this course wasn't able to keep 2 weeks of sobriety in any given stretch. This is a huge success story. Oftentimes this physician proclaims that we gave her life back and that we enabled her to live her life at 100%.

I want to thank Dr. Rob Feely for joining us today and sharing his invaluable insights and expertise on healthcare workers redefining self-worth during recovery. We urge our listeners to explore the benefits of Healing Breaths and the Sky Recovery Program, which provide evidence-based tools and techniques to assist in the healing process from addiction, stress, and trauma in healthcare and recovery centers. The Sky Recovery Program empowers individuals to embark on a transformative journey towards holistic recovery and overall well-being by prioritizing breathwork and meditation. As we wrap up this episode, we encourage you to subscribe and stay tuned for Season 2 of Recovery Dialogues and Sober Stories, which will return in the fall. We will continue to bring you enlightening conversations with people in recovery and experts in the field. Delving into the many facets of recovery and offering hope and inspiration to those on their recovery journeys. Thank you for joining us.