Transforming Lives: The Power of Healthy Habits, Positive Relationships, and Self-Care in Sustainable Recovery

Welcome to Recovery Dialogues and Sober Stories. Today's topic is the lifestyle changes that are crucial for long-term recovery. The journey towards addiction recovery goes beyond just committing and dedicating oneself to the process. It requires significant lifestyle changes in addition to conventional treatment methods. These changes are crucial in enhancing the chances of a successful long-term recovery, as they create a sense of purpose and fulfillment that supports the recovery journey. Sustainability is a vital aspect of this transformation. Individuals recovering from addiction are encouraged to prioritize personal well-being, environmental responsibility, and social awareness. This fosters a connection with the world around them, leading to a more fulfilling life. Developing healthy habits is also essential in the journey towards recovery. Addiction often stems from ingrained habitual behaviors, which must be confronted and replaced with healthier alternatives. Individuals can create an environment that supports sustained recovery by choosing new habits that promote sobriety and a healthy lifestyle. Post-traumatic growth is another crucial aspect of recovery. Overcoming the challenges and trauma of addiction can lead to new value systems, spiritual growth, and lifestyle changes. Social support, particularly from those who have successfully recovered, can enhance resilience and contribute to sustained recovery. Prioritizing physical health and well-being is also fundamental in supporting recovery. Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and self-care activities can improve overall well-being. These lifestyle changes improve physical health and contribute to mental and emotional wellness. For example, regular exercise can reduce cravings and improve mood, which is crucial for a solid foundation in long-term recovery. Monitoring progress and celebrating achievements, no matter how small, is also essential. Frequent assessment of progress is a powerful motivator encouraging individuals to continue making positive choices. Celebrating these achievements reinforces positive behaviors and boosts self-confidence, which contributes to the commitment to the recovery journey. The journey towards long-term addiction recovery requires a profound shift in lifestyle, encompassing sustainable practices, healthy habits, post-traumatic growth, prioritizing health, and recognition of progress. Every individual's journey is unique and different lifestyle changes will resonate with different people. However, embracing these changes can lead to a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life in recovery. In today's episode, we have a special guest, Richard. Richard is not just a recovery expert, but a lived experience expert who has overcome addiction and emerged into the light of sustainable recovery. Richard's story is a reminder that recovery is an ongoing process that requires daily commitment and constant self-care. So, Richard, during recovery, it is important to prioritize self-care. What are some effective self-care practices you have found beneficial for your well-being?

I confess that I'm not very good at self-care. I tend to have to wait for things to pass. I have some diversions, but they are impaired by my inability to concentrate. I do take breaks. I do use breathing. I do use grounding. But my boss usually thinks when things get more difficult, they want me to take time off. I have a part-time job, so I don't have a lot of need for downtime. What do I do for self-care? I try to do exercise. I do some religious things, not much. Most important thing, have a really good relationship.

What do you see as being some of the common challenges faced by individuals when making lifestyle changes for sustainable recovery? How can they overcome these obstacles? Also, what strategies have been found effective in maintaining long-term recovery.

There is a kind of old adage, walk on the other side of the street, and that has to do with avoiding people who, even if you don't find them all the way toxic, aren't helping, aren't, um, compatible really with a steady slope of recovery. You have to remember that recovery is a process and that slowing it or even relapse is part of that process. But sometimes you have to put people in and out of your life. Sometimes you have to kind of ignore them when they're in your life. And you also have to avoid difficult places. And some places may be conducive to using for no particular reason. It's easy to avoid a barn, but how do you avoid a supermarket? Why would a supermarket tend to weaken your recovery result? I don't know, but places do that. Find other places, find other people.

Last Ray, what message of hope would you give those struggling to make lasting lifestyle changes for sustainable recovery? And how can they find the strength to continue their journey.

For me, the access of strength comes largely from other people and from community. You're all together. There might be a collective sense of confidence. There's certainly a common sense of aspiration. But you're working against the firm belief that you can't get better or that you can't get more than a little better. And maybe you've already done a little better and you're exhausted. We have to help each other. We have to be conscious of trying to pull other people through the gate when they're afraid to go. So the encouragement of other people, even by those of us who don't feel encouraged for ourselves, that'll make you better. I'm not a great believer in the power of positive thinking. But the cultivating, trusting, and urging, and gifting of yourself to other people produces hormonal reactions in the brain that make you feel good. So there's something called positive psychology. And you're going to get better if you help other people, not always with explicit recovery, but whatever they want to do. If you don't have anything to contribute, you accompany them. But that's how I did it. Another method is mindfulness. Very popular thing these days. Spirituality, people of faith have a leg up on recovery. Um, but these are just examples. Artistic expression. These things can really break through when recovery is stuck.

Thank you, Richard, for sharing your expertise and insights on making healthy lifestyle changes for long-term recovery. Now I welcome Isabel Whittaker to the conversation. Isabel is a leader in workplace wellness, change advocate, and an ambassador of mental health and wellbeing. With over 20 years of experience and a master's degree in health and wellness psychology, Isabel is a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach and a certified professional recovery coach. Her journey of recovering addiction enables her to genuinely and compassionately motivate others. Isabel's unique style, which combines humor, openness, and authenticity, makes her a trustworthy ally for mental health. Join us as we delve into her expertise and passion for optimal wellness. Isabel, how can individuals in recovery establish and maintain a consistent routine that promotes overall well-being? What practical steps can they take?

So to promote well-being, we have to really pause and think about what does well-being mean to me? What are some of the things that energizes me? That's basically, to me, that's my definition of well-being. Like, when do I feel at my best? What are the conditions? What, who are the people that I'm around? What are the things that are around me? What activity am I doing that really energizes me? Do I find myself in nature with pets, with certain group of people? Practicing mindfulness is a very important way to develop this overall well-being. You're cultivating this sense of awareness with your body, with your emotions, and with your mind. And that takes time. One of the things that I did early in, in recovery was that I, I stopped using and drink— drinking and using drugs, and I started investing in pedicures. So to this day, 15 years later, I still get monthly pedicure. This something, a practice that each time I'm going to the nail shop, I am reminded that I have one month longer of, uh, recovery. Another thing that is important to do is to avoid what depletes our energy. Learning to say no can be a form of self-care as well. If you're invited to an event where you know the alcohol is going to be flowing and alcohol is your trigger, You know, you have the power to say no. So really prioritizing your recovery is the most efficient way to cultivate self-care and well-being.

Building positive relationships is crucial in the journey of recovery. How can individuals recovering from substance use disorders navigate and cultivate healthy relationships that support their sobriety and mental well-being?

The epidemic of loneliness is really plaguing our population, and that is across the board, not only with people with substance use disorder, but particularly with people with substance use disorder and alcohol use disorder. And that is because we have, you know, there's this shame component, like, "If you see the fullness of me, if you saw my whole self, you wouldn't accept me." So really in creating a positive network in a sense of belonging, I would highly, highly recommend that people join a recovery, uh, recovery-minded community. They come from all sorts of modalities. There's SheRecoverers that is an online community for women. There's church-based, there's group therapy, there's all sorts of recovery communities. There's 12-step program. Basically, it's surrounding yourself with a community of people where everyone genuinely wants everyone to succeed. You want to be a space where people can trust one another, one another, and they share stories and solutions. So, you know, if I'm recovering by myself, I am depriving others from hearing my stories of overcoming certain challenges. So it's a multiplier, really. Joining a recovery community is a multiplier of recovery.

Self-care is essential in recovery, but people often face challenges in prioritizing it. What effective self-care practices can help individuals maintain success on their recovery journey and nurture overall wellbeing.

Life happens and it's just, it is part of recovery that sometimes we might get derailed. One of the effective strategy is to really being able to identify triggers, you know, and respond to triggers in a way that will not compromise our sobriety. Families can be a huge trigger. So really learning ways to appropriately respond. And again, I'm plugging in mindfulness here. Mindfulness is this beautiful practice that allows you to over time build a, a skill or the ability to more appropriately respond to triggers. Setting healthy boundaries is a very, very efficient way Um, it is so important not only setting boundaries for yourself, but also being able to recognize boundaries into others and really playing in it in that zone of comfort where it's okay for you to come to my house. You know, I do have a white picket fence around it. It is not barbed wires, but don't step on my flowers, right? So setting those healthy boundaries really help in, in not only in recovery but in life in general. Because sometimes we stretch ourselves so much to please others that we're like, wait, wait, wait, why am I doing this? And we put ourselves at risk. We get tired and we develop resentment and all these things. So really being able to identify the triggers and setting boundaries. And this is particularly true in early recovery because People sometimes they will get so well so fast and they will be like super excited and then they, they're going to sign up for classes and they're going to take on too much. So make sure that you are keeping your energy level in check. And remember that recovery is a gradual process and it's multifaceted. So stick with what works. So stacking habits network really is another really great strategy to making sure that your lifestyle changes stick for a long time.

Creating a supportive environment is crucial for sustainable recovery. What are some strategies or tips for individuals to build a supportive network around themselves and foster a sense of belonging and understanding?

Well, we harvest what we sow. So if I, if I, you know, sow compassion, understanding, empathy, support, all these beautiful qualities, it should come back to me in return. So in fostering an environment in which I can grow and recover, I want to make sure that I contribute as much as I get. So I call this the cycle of giving and receiving. In early recovery, people tend to be needy, you know, or have the self, the impression of the self that, oh my gosh, I'm so needy. And if I call you with my problems, it's gonna burden you. But really, when you look at it, you shift your perspective. And rather than saying, I am burdened, burdening you, I am creating an opportunity for you to be of service to me. And the people that are in recovery, they understand that no one recovers alone. No one recovers alone. It takes a community. So really, we have this understanding of this cycle of giving and receiving. And when the next person comes in the door and has you know, they're facing challenges that you've changed, you faced before, then you can provide some input. So it's the cycle of giving and receiving that is so beautiful. And that's what fosters a sense of belonging and a sense of support.

In the early stages of their recovery, individuals often search for purpose and meaning. How can individuals in recovery discover and cultivate their passions, interests, and purpose-driven outlook to create a fulfilling and meaningful life post-addiction.

Now we need to understand that addiction is a brain disease and a brain disease that will impact our perception and the critical thinking and sense of belonging and all that. So early on, it's not uncommon for people to have these questions and Really being patient, really being patient. The recovery process takes a really, really long time. The brain needs to heal. So at first, maybe we're, the individual is gonna be faced with some questions like, what am I doing? What's my purpose? Like, why am I here? Why is this happening to me? And really, again, mindfulness would be a great way to just sit with all these emotions, knowing that you don't need to respond to them, that those are just thoughts and feelings, and they're not you. They're not really you. It's just happening in your mind. So keeping an open mind, and over time, gradually, the body heals itself, the mind heals itself, and we, we start developing better ways, effective ways to manage our emotions. So keeping an open mind, and I like the law of attraction and abundance. Whatever I set my mind to, that's what is gonna manifest in my life. So if I, if I think about misery and sickness and drama and all that kind of thing, those are the kind of things that I'm going to attract in my life. So if on the other end, if I think about freedom and I think about cultivating meaningful, harmonious relationships, if that's what I'm feeding my mind with, that is what I am going to attract. For me personally, it became pretty, it happened pretty fast that I became a role model within my family. I had 3 women in my family that quit drinking alcohol within my first 2 years of recovery. And that has really fueled my purpose and my, oh my gosh, okay, they're really looking up to me. I better stay sober. I better keep up, you know, keep that sobriety date. For me also, I recovered anonymously for 12 years. That was a long time. You know, I had my community of recovery, but with the pandemic, with the onset of the pandemic, I thought, I knew for sure, and I was not wrong, that the conditions of the pandemic, the fear, the uncertainties, and all the turmoil that was taking place Really, those were ingredients for sure to have people use more to cope with those uneasy feeling. And I wasn't wrong. I mean, the rates of addiction across the board have gone up. So for me, what happened is that after 12 years of recovering anonymously, like I said, I decided to go public and quote unquote break my anonymity. And this was the most meaningful thing that I have done in my life, to come out publicly and saying, I am a person in recovery. And what started to happen is that my network people started reaching out to me. How did you do it? How do you know that you, you know, that you're in recovery? You had a substance use disorder. So I became someone that people could look up to. And that was really important to me because when I was at the beginning, like when I was at my worst, when I was at my worst, there was no one that I knew of that I could reach out to. So really becoming that person has really given me, Isabel Wedergren, a purpose in my life.

What are some common challenges or roadblocks individuals may face when making decisive lifestyle changes for sustainable recovery? How can they overcome these challenges?

Well, in early recovery, someone told me that I needed to change only one thing. And I thought, "Well, okay, I could probably do this." Well, that one thing is everything. I needed to change. It was suggested to me that I needed to change my playthings, my playplaces, and my playpals. And to me, that was very scary because who am I without alcohol and drugs? Who am I without the bars and those places where I would socialize and, and partake in drinking and using? And who would I hang out with if I can no longer hang out with my pals? So really rediscovering myself identity as a person in recovery was one of the greatest challenges that I had. For me, the tool that worked was journaling. I was able to see it on paper, the people, you know, the names of the specific names of the people that were supportive of my effort, the places where I'm like, okay, I can't go there anymore, the places where, okay, well, let me go explore this one. I discovered museums. Like, I never really spent that much time in museum. Museums are fascinating, and coffee shops. And, you know, I developed some, some new passions. And that's what recovery is all about. It just really frees us. It's total freedom to go outside and try new things, meet new people, and hang out in new places.

How can individuals in recovery stay motivated and committed to their new lifestyle changes? Are there any specific strategies or practices to help them stay on track?

Each and every individual need to figure out for themselves what motivates them. What is it that motivates them? So for me, what worked in early recovery and to this day is journal writing, journaling. Occasionally I'll go back around my sobriety date and my sobriety birthday. I will go back and, and read my early, uh, recovery journey and, you know, just really make me grateful that I am no longer in these places filled with shame and regret and and resentment, and I am more at a place of freedom. So journaling has worked very well. Also, like I said earlier, no one recovers on their own. So having— working with a recovery coach might be very useful because they have this approach that is very, very unique to, uh, early on in the very first, um, early sessions you co-create a vision for the life that you want to achieve. And for me, when I discovered, I discovered recovery coaching when I was 10 years sober, but what it did really expanded my view of what was possible in recovery because I created a vision that was so strong and so powerful, that was really my source of inspiration. And I was not gonna let— I'm working with a, a coach also, you know, identify what might derail me and really identify these strategies that work for me personally to overcome so that I can keep that vision of my best self really alive. And well.

Recovery, we know, is a lifelong journey. Setbacks and relapses can happen. How can individuals bounce back from various setbacks and see them as opportunities for growth and learning?

In my personal story, I have not experienced a relapse. However, I have experienced some setbacks, some emotional and state of mind setbacks. And, you know, it does take time for the brain to heal itself. And as the brain heals itself, it does shift our perception. So really keeping a growth mindset is really something that is so valuable. And for that, I mean, it, it, it does require some emotional intelligence. It does require for us to be able to pause, breathe, expand what we're thinking the situation is, expand, look beyond, and really try to look for the opportunities. In this particular instance, what was there for me to learn? What was there for me to learn? And when we take the time to really look at that piece in a non-judgmental way and really with self-compassion, then we can really learn from our past experiences and continue to grow.

In your clinical practice, you've witnessed many remarkable examples of the positive effects of healthy habits that support a client's long-term recovery. Is there a story that exemplifies the transformative outcomes?

So we live in a society where every day, um, we are bombarded with messaging and products that tells us that there's a pill over or a product or, or something that can help us save our lives, save whatever problem it is. You want to lose weight? Well, here's a pill. You're sneezing too much? Here's a pill. You know, how about looking in your nutrition? Like, you know, so really recovery, it does take effort and perseverance and it's hard. Recovery is hard. At the same time, there are so many stories of success. And here, this is like, this is going to be a little bit different. Maybe you're, you're thinking about, you know, a big story of, of transformation. But guess what? Someone who have not brushed their teeth for years because they were on meth and, you know, they prioritize their drugs over brushing their teeth. Brushing their teeth becomes their success. So we really ought to be careful in a recovery to not necessarily glamorize the people that have done big accomplishments and that kind of thing, and really celebrate each and every incremental successes along the way. Uh, because when we set the bar too high, we're, we're saying, well, this person earned a degree, therefore they're a story of success. You know, for some people that is not achievable, and then they compare themselves, and then, you know, it can put them in a— make them spin and potentially put them in a cycle of relapse or mental relapse. So really celebrating each and every accomplishment. For me in my personal life, I remember during my active phase of my addiction, I was holding this this Long Island Tea that was filled with alcohol. And my little daughter, who was 3 at the time, she was standing in front of me and she says, "Sip, sip." She wanted a sip of my drink. And every time I would refuse, you know, I'd say, "No, no, no, no, no, that's not for you." She was 3 at the time. I'm getting emotional when I'm saying this story here because I haven't talked about it for a while, but Every time I would say no to her, it was like I was denying a piece of myself to her. And that was part of the self-stigma that I was feeling myself. But the moment, let me tell you, the moment I, when I stopped drinking and this time when my daughter came to me with her sweet little face and she said, sip, and I was able to share my drink with her. That was liftoff. Like, oh my gosh, I no longer withhold this thing. Like, it was, it was just a very, very small thing. But for me in my recovery, and everybody's recovery and their story is unique, for me in my recovery, that was a significant win in my life.

Lastly, what are some aspects of lifestyle changes in recovery that you believe deserve more attention and focus but are often underappreciated or overlooked?

One of the lifestyle changes that is often overlooked, in my opinion, and this is totally biased because I have a background in kinesiology, is the importance of having physical activity throughout the day. And here I'm not just talking about like going to the gym for 30 minutes or 45 minutes. But really having an active lifestyle, adding movement anytime you can into your daily routine. So it can be, uh, rather than jumping in your car to go to the post office, you are walking to the post office. If you can surround yourself with others, that would be even better. So what happens when we are participating in physical activity, and this is especially true for moderate to vigorous activity, is that brain and the body gets more oxygen, like the oxygen flow really gets activated, and that can help us repair some, some damage that we have done to the brain during our active phase of our addiction.

Thank you, Isabel, so much for your story, your insights, and your expertise. That's all for today's episode. I want to express my gratitude once again to Richard and Isabel for sharing their insights and experiences. I also want to extend a special thanks to our sponsor, Wish Recovery, for their dedication to providing comprehensive care and support to those struggling with substance use disorders and co-occurring mental health conditions. Their rehabilitation services are invaluable to anyone seeking lasting recovery. If you or someone you know needs help, consider contacting Wish Recovery, a luxury rehab and detox center that will meet you where you are, no matter what stage of recovery you're in. We hope you'll join us again as we continue to explore the landscape of addiction and recovery through engaging conversations, inspiring stories, and valuable insights. If you haven't already, be sure to subscribe to our podcast so you don't miss out on upcoming episodes of Recovery Dialogues and Sober Stories.