Antonio Moniz mocks YouTube growth hacks in a comedic monologue that lists six steps, from spamming comments to using sexually suggestive thumbnails. He satirizes the clickbait tactics creators use, including begging for likes upfront and overreacting to Minecraft drama, while suggesting the only thing that actually works is a thumbnail with "mad cleavage."
Hey you! Yeah, you! You wanna learn how to get more views on your YouTube videos? Good! Here are my 5 steps to get more views on your crappy video. Step 1: Spam other people's videos. Oh hey, it's a— it's a TmarTn video! Oh, okay, um, I know no one will read this, but if you could plz subscribe I would appreciate it, mate. Ty, please no hate, Ari, no. Now all you have to do is paste that same comment in every other video's comment section. Step 2: Make a video about how to get views on YouTube, because if you're not successful enough to get views on your own, you might as well try to teach other people how to get views. Right? Yeah, that makes sense, I think. Definitely not what I'm doing right now. Step 3: Play Minecraft. Don't you guys just love how beautiful Minecraft is? I mean, it's just— oh, hey look, there's a creeper. I'm gonna go kill it in a very calm and mature manner and, uh— You forgot step 4. What? You haven't told me step 4 yet. Step 4: Overreact to everything because you know a majority of the fanbase on YouTube is just a bunch of 12-year-old idiots. Don't you guys just love how beautiful Minecraft is? What is that? Oh, what? What do I— it's a creeper, guys! What do I do? 911, what's your emergency? Yes, yes ma'am, there's a creeper. What do I do? Stay calm, ma'am. Don't tell me to calm down! There's a creeper, it's coming at me! What? Alright guys, guys, it's a creeper, okay? I've definitely not killed a million. Oh my, it's coming right— guys, what? I'm cornered, guys. What? I'm trapped! Oh, this was an elaborate prank. Oh, how do I get out? Oh no! Oh wait, I have armor. Never mind. Step 5: Beg for likes at the beginning of every video. It's crucial you do it at the beginning because if you wait till the end to beg for likes, then they'll already have watched the video and they'll realize it's a piece of crap and they won't like it. What's up guys, welcome back to another Call of Duty commentary because I'm super original. And before I get into the topic of this commentary, please like the video. I don't even know why I'm asking you to like the video, but every other YouTuber does it, so I feel like it's what I should do. So, uh, yeah, if we could like smash like, uh, what's a good number I can think of off the— 50 likes! Yeah, let's smash 50 likes. I know I only have 20 subscribers, but yeah, 50 likes is our goal for this video. And, uh, what am I— yeah, and if we get 50 likes on this video, I'll upload another video tomorrow. Yeah, and I'll beg for likes at the beginning of that video too. But, uh, yeah, let's move on to the top. Just make sure you like the video, okay? Alright, now I'm gonna move on. Oh, also, favorite and subscribe. That's pretty key too. That's— alright, yeah, now we're moving on to the topic of the video. Step 6. I thought there was 5. Did anyone ask you? Like, is anyone here talking to you? I thought so. Shut up. Out of all the tips I've given in this video, step 6 is probably the only one that actually works. Just pretty much put in your thumbnail a girl with mad cleavage, and there you go. ¡Gracias, Antonio Moniz!
