How I Will Survive The Zombie Apocalypse!

Most people would try to charge you thousands of dollars for what I'm about to teach you. I mean, I'm pretty much showing you how to survive the zombie apocalypse, but I'm gonna show you for free. This is exactly what I'm going to do when the zombie apocalypse happens. So this is me. I'm located in North Carolina. That's relevant to you because, you know, I have a bunch of rednecks where I live, so I'm gonna have plenty of firearms. And just, you know, adjust your plan according to where you live. So in the end, we're gonna end up in Hawaii, and I'll show you how. So this is me. So let's move on real quick to my 5 steps. These are my 5 steps to survival. I'm gonna raid my school's cafeteria, we're gonna hide in the desert for a year, you know, let society calm down, let all the weak die off, uh, actually let majority of the people die off, then we're gonna come out, we're gonna travel to the West Coast, we're gonna find a boat, and we're gonna conquer Hawaii. Those are my 5 steps for survival. I'm about to show you how it's gonna happen. And what happened to my legs? We're just gonna go back down there. Alright, so like I said, step 1 is to go to the cafeteria and raid the food. Now you're probably like, those are real people. No, these are actually zombies. You see, they're getting smarter. They're trying to look real, but they're not. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. We're just gonna sneak up the aisle slowly. Nope, not walking the table. There we go. Dropkick! Alright, we killed that zombie. So let's, let's just put a little X. He died. And let's go back to my character. And there's one more zombie. This one looks pretty pretty fast. We're just gonna go around here, don't mind me, and whabam! Alright, and that zombie is now dead and we conquered the cafeteria. So now let's move over to the food storage. Oh, look at all this food, man! We're gonna be able to survive a while off of this. Let me just grab all this. Actually, wait a minute, I gotta pull my car around. Give me a second. Yeah, so let's pull the car around and I'll start loading it with food and then we'll move on to step 2. So now I'm trying to predict the future and you see after I raid the school, someone's obviously gonna be there and steal my car, jump me, take my car, and so I'm predicting that. So what I'm gonna do after someone steals my car, I'm gonna have nothing, I'm gonna go hijack a truck and then rob a local gas station. Not really rob, it's a zombie apoc— apoc-yap that. And then I'm gonna load the truck up with a bunch of stuff from a gas station. So we're just gonna go hijack the Beast Express, gonna fill it up, you know, at our local gas station, and then we can't take the freeway 'cause the freeway's gonna be jam-packed. So we're gonna take a shortcut through the forest. I mean, we're just gonna go over top of some trees, maneuver this way, and boom! We're gonna go out the other end of the forest and we're gonna end up in the desert. Let's go! So the plan is— I mean, the plan is just working flawlessly right now. Okay, so we end up in the desert. Here's me on my truck. This is a massive desert. I'm gonna hop out of the truck. Let me just open the door, get out, and boom! We're in the desert. Now what do we do, bees? Well, here. Here's what you're gonna do. So step 1, we're gonna set up our tent. Right there. I'll show you a tour of the inside of the tent in one second. And we all know deserts are a little bit hot. We're gonna put a pool— eh, I like— I want the pool to be over here. It's a good spot for the pool. And then we're just gonna enjoy, hang out. Remember, we have to survive at least a year. We gotta wait for the population to die down before we try to go to the West Coast and go to Hawaii. So I'm just gonna show you guys a tour of the inside of my tent real quick. So this is what the inside of my tent looks like. Pretty sick. I mean, I do have to survive an entire year in here, so I gotta make sure it's pretty comfy, and yeah, so let's go back out to the desert and let's wait a year. One eternity later. Alright, so it's been a year, so now most of the population has probably died off, so let me just leave my tent for once. Let's hobble over here, let's hop on board the Beast Express, and let's head towards the west coast. Yeah, road trip! Woo! Just crossing the country, just crossing the country, and bam! We landed on the West Coast. Now let me leave the Beast Express, let me wobble on down over here, wobble on down over here, hop on board the boat, and off we go. And now we sail for Hawaii. Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's a lot more zombies than I thought would be here. Alright, we're just gonna have to deal with them one at a time. I don't really have any other choice. Let's, uh, let's just Go over here. Boom badda boom badda bang. Alpha Pam sneak attack and we eliminated threat number 1. Alright, he's done for. Alright, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. This next threat looks a little difficult. I think we're gonna go back. We're gonna grab an overhead approach on this next one. Whabam! Alright, we eliminated, we killed Zombie number 2, he's dead. Alright, this last one's pretty big. I don't know what we're gonna do about this one. He seems to be unaware of my presence. We're just gonna go right through his head. Alright, he just got destroyed. He's done for. No more, no more of that zombie. Alright, let's go explore the islands. Actually, here, that's pretty much how you conquer Hawaii and get to it. Now let me show you what I plan on doing with Hawaii. You see I have a very elaborate plan on what we're gonna do. So there's multiple islands here. This is the biggest one, and we're gonna use this one for farming. So we're gonna plant our corn, we're gonna plant, you know, apples here, we're gonna plant potatoes there. You know, this island right here is gonna be for farming. This island is going to be for like pigs and stuff like that, so the pigs will go here. Now this island I'm not really sure for. This island's going to be for gaming, you know, like my computer setup and everything's going to go on