We Drove 3,000 Miles For The World's Best Burger

Can I have, uh, one double cheeseburger? Ew, these are disgusting. Can I have a double cheeseburger? Can I just have a double cheeseburger? McDonald's, you better be at least decent.

Why?

Why do they all suck? This tastes like crap. Can I, um, have a double cheeseburger? Hardee's, please don't let me down. I swear, if this burger doesn't taste good— it sucks too!

No!

Jesus! I hate this burger! No! There's only one logical thing to do. We're here in North Carolina. In-N-Out is a fast food restaurant that's only in California. So we're going to drive from North Carolina all the way to California to get In-N-Out Burger because every other burger sucks! Would you rather drive 5 minutes for an ant burger or drive 50 hours there and then 50 hours back but have a good burger? I think the answer is pretty simple.

Heck yeah, I'll ditch my family for a week for a burger.

Heck yeah! Heck yeah!

Woo!

Yeah! Yeah! Also you're going to want to watch to the end because I'm actually eating In-N-Out with a YouTuber who has more subscribers than me. I already called him up and we have it all planned out. It's been a couple hours and we are at gas station stop number 1.

Got to get those Red Bulls.

Yeah, we're feeling kind of tired— oh that's creepy person. So we just finished with our first stop everyone got Red Bulls hopefully we don't fall asleep and die. I'd rather see how many views this video gets. I mean it would get more views if I died but I mean being alive would be nice.

Tennessee.

You're the only 10 I see. Actually, I can't see you. You're like black right now. Been waiting for this gas station to open for like 10 minutes. It's 5 AM.

Hey viewers, I'm so tired. I want to die.

While Chris naps, we are actually in Kentucky.

You suck.

So we got a little distracted at the hotel and we ended up in a hot— hey, hello! Hey Chris, what were you doing down there?

Stuff.

Okay, so yeah, we got a little sidetracked and oh, there's Garrett as well. Yeah, we all ended up in a hot tub.

Alright man, you ready to go to California? Jimmy, are you—

hey, hey, dude, me and my creeper are having fun.

What is all this Minecraft?

That's inappropriate. That's creeper porn.

You're cuddling with a dude in your Minecraft bed? Whoa, I'm gonna get out of here.

Alright guys, so we're back on the road. We had to stop and give my 5 million subscriber 5 million pieces of popcorn, which is why this trip's actually gonna take a really long time because we have to go north and now we got to go back south-ish to Cali. I'm not gonna act like I know what I'm talking about. We're gonna follow the GPS. Yes. As you can see, we have about a day and 4 hours until we hit California. So we were driving down the road and we saw a tank. You guys don't know this, but I've been trying to get a tank for over a month. There's this one video idea that I really want to do. And literally for the last 30 days, we've been calling everyone we can find that privately owns a tank and offering them $10,000 to let us use it for a video. But no one said yes. Hey, so can we buy one of those tanks? We kind of need it for a viral video.

Well, I don't think you could buy it, but you talk to the owner and see what they say.

Yes. Perfect.

Chris, that's the portal the aliens are gonna use to kill us.

Wow, look at that beautiful arch there.

Honestly, I don't think the viewers care.

I think they would.

Do you care? Do you guys really care? Come see this arch right here, viewers. Do you really care about this arch? Does this really make work? It's not. I thought it was beautiful. Bad Chris. Everyone said bad Chris. They don't care about the arch. Fine. How dare you show them. Fun story, we were just eating at a Mexican restaurant and we left our camera there. This is camera number 2. Hey, it's your Long Ross brother camera.

Thank you, man.

We found the camera. Boys, camera, camera, camera, camera, camera, man, we gotta go to California. Yeah, so we're in Kansas and this is a normal burger, not from In-N-Out. Watch, even the Kansas road sign doesn't like normal burgers. Fun challenge: floss on the side of the road until someone honks at you, and if you die, it's all Also not my fault. Welcome to colorful Colorado. I'd get out, but it's currently 3:51 AM. Chris, uh, what are you doing there, buddy? Thinking about life.

I like it or not.

We're just going, uh, 70 miles an hour with the door open. Just, yeah, it's convenient. Feels good. Hey, Jimmy. Yeah? What do we do in tunnels? Let's see it. All right, we're at Denny's. Uh, Tyler drove us through the night. We're almost in California. Let's go get some breakfast. Look how many bugs we murdered as we were crossing the country. Like, holy crap. So we just entered New Mexico. And for those of you who saw my Uber video, yes, I didn't know it was a state back then, but I know it's a state now. I apologize, guys. And to show how sorry I am for not knowing you guys are a state, I put money inside this burger, which isn't an In-N-Out Burger, which means it's a piece of crap.

Boom.

Whoever wants money, go get it. Wrong day to wear flip-flops. Wrong day to wear shorts. I got hit by a cactus. Me too. Ow, my leg is covered in cactus. Mostly.

Ow.

We were filming a skit on that mountain over there and we saw a coyote and we started running and I ran straight into a cactus. It didn't feel good. I'm still pulling them out of my fucking leg. It kind of hurts. Chris, my brother, we've come a long way.

We have.

And we're almost at that In-N-Out. We are in California, home to In-N-Out Burger. This is the last non-In-N-Out Burger I will ever touch. Think on it, thought.

Oh, you hit that bush there.

Yeah, it reminded me of the cactus. My leg's still bleeding. Do you want to see how close we are to dying all the time? Yeah, we're literally on the side of the highway. Watch this. God, it's so close. Ugh. So where are we, Garrett? We're in California. We're in LA. What time is it our time, Chris? 4:30 AM precisely. We're tired. We're going to go to bed.

Too tired. I've been driving for 2 hours.

We got in at 2:00 AM last night, and obviously all In-N-Out In-N-Outs were closed, but they're open now, and we're gonna go get our burger. 3,000 miles, we're so stupid.

No, it's worth it. Always worth it.

They're more stupid for watching the video.

Ha ha, dumb viewers. Haha.

We're at the great In-N-Out.

Looks like there's a bunch of people in there. You think they drove 3,000 miles for it?

In-N-Out, we drove 3,000 miles to go eat a burger at this In-N-Out. It better be a rare, super tasty burger like we've been told. We drove 3,000 miles for an In-N-Out burger, which is only available on the West Coast.

And Texas, but we found that out later.

Yeah, and Arizona. So yeah, Chris, 3,000 miles, an entire week of our lives. Let's take a bite. Is this rare burger better than all the other burgers? Tastes just like every other burger.

It's just a burger, man.

Yeah. Oh, what's up, H3? Oh, hey, what's up? We got In-N-Out and it's just not really that great.

I don't really—

yeah, I don't know what to do.

I usually always like it.

Yeah, mm, dude, mine tastes terrible.

I know what the problem is.

What's the problem, man?

They undersalt it. Really? You sprinkle a little salt on it.

Oh, oh, that's a— that's a lot of—

okay, I'm a man of salt. I hit that.

Yeah, let me hit that.

See that?

That's perfect.

Mmm, it's like a fine powder.

Wow, gotcha.

Here, I really feel my tongue burning right now, right?

But it's good, it's exciting.

Every little—

every little cut ahead of my tongue is just on fire.

Right, but it's thrilling.

It's like a— that's real. Yeah, it really brings out the meat.

Yeah, maybe you didn't get enough the first time.

Oh, my eyes quite aren't watery yet. Yeah, this is the real deal. Nice. I'm quite terrified to do this, but gotta go along with the joke.

Here you go. This is not a joke. Oh wow. Oh yeah, that looks so good right now. I'm super excited to take a bite of this really salty burger.

Head right over the grill.

That's the biggest thing.

Tastes like heart disease.

Yeah, it does. So good. I'm glad we drove 3,000 miles for this, and I'm glad we met you, because without you, this 3,000 miles would have been for nothing.

We would have thought the burger was bad.

Oh, well, I'm glad I— I'm glad I just ran into you in this parking lot, because this is my— this is the best burger.

Well, that's what LA is all about. There's just so many YouTubers, you just like see them, just like— it's even better if you get the salt. By getting salt on you, that just adds to the flavor. Thanks, man. I didn't realize like having salt on my legs would make my burger taste better. Like, I need a little more salt. It just wasn't good enough. More salt? Yeah, just let her, let her all out. Yeah, I want to die in my sleep tonight. That'd be great.

I don't have diabetes medicine, but I feel like I, I need it.

Yeah, same.

You want to enjoy your burger or not? You drove here from the East Coast, you might as well enjoy it, for Christ's sake.

That's looking like a mighty good burger. I'm gonna bite right there where all the salt is. I want maximum flavor.

Oh God, nice, dude. Good. Yeah, there it is. Really good, right?

Really, it's very tasty. I'm fighting back the tears, boys. I think it's time we bully H3, though. Since we can't get on his podcast, we're just gonna question him here.

Yeah, you're about to get podcasted.

I'm getting podcasted.

We had a very important question. This is something we deal with, um, every day. We both have micro penises, and we know you have one as well. Yeah, so we just like, how do you deal with that? I get a lot of comments of people being like, how's your dick so small. Like, that doesn't even make sense.

They say that to you?

Yeah, a lot of them. It's really annoying. So like, how do you deal with it?

You use your hip, really, really, you know, motion of the ocean, right? Yeah, you got— I mean, my gut sticks out further than my cock, so you got to work that.

Yeah, so it draws attention away from it, is what you're saying?

No, but like when you're having sex, you got to create friction somehow, right? So the dick's not doing it.

Yes. Oh, I, I'm following. You get in there. It's actually very useful information.

You're skinny. Yeah, that's not good.

So I gotta get—

you guys are too skinny.

Honestly, this is such good advice. I kinda need to write it down.

So write this down. And the other thing it does is good is that when your fat starts folding over the cock, they can't even see it. They don't even know.

They can't even judge you.

And by the time that you're like, oh, we're in bed, we're having sex, what are they gonna do, walk away? Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, your dick's too small, I'm getting out of bed. Yeah, right. Got ya. That's what I say to them.

Gotcha.

They're like, where's your dick? And I'm like, got him.

All right, gain some weight to help mask tiny dick. That made this all worth it.

Nice, man.

We should drive 3,000 miles for sex advice next time.

I'm here, I'm here. Anytime, dude. I'm here.

So, uh, I'd just like to point out that we kidnapped him and put him in a van to eat burgers and talk about dicks with us.

It was actually a fake taxi. He doesn't know it, but there's a lot of cameras.

We're in a tank right now.

So we've just casually been sitting in this car just staring at the scenery.

There's Hila with Shredder. Another YouTuber in the parking lot.

Wow, this must be so normal.

What are the chances of that?

We're gonna zoom in on your dog.

Oh yeah, that's also another cool thing. If you want YouTubers to hang out with you, you just gotta give them a free burger. Like, here you go, man.

I mean, he just DM'd me and he's like, dude, you want some In-N-Out? And I was like, just fucking tell me when and where.

Yeah, exactly.

Whatever you want.

That's actually exactly how it went.

I was like, shit, man, free In-N-Out.

We tried to make the world's largest baking soda volcano and it started raining.

Did you never get to film it?

Well, we did, but we scrapped it. Yeah. Here, let's use that footage here. World's largest baking soda volcano.

Wow, that was insane! That was so crazy! How did that—

that was like, dude, the explosion and— yeah, it was crazy.

Wow.

Yeah, cut to when Chris fell off the volcano. That was pretty funny. We, uh, say goodbye to H3 before he burns alive in a car.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I appreciate you coming down and feeding my homeless ass.

Yeah, I, uh, I appreciate getting invited on that I mean, well, you didn't give me—

you let me know like one day. I need some time to plan, you know. I want to do your ass service. Yeah, you're gonna have to drive back to LA.

All right, I guess we have to drive back just to be in the podcast later.

Thanks for the burger, dog. I was really hungry, so I definitely appreciate it.

I drove 3,000 miles for it.

Thanks, man. Nice meeting you. Nice hanging out with y'all. So enjoy the yeet.

He really likes the word yeet.

Yeet.

Can you please say that in a future video to everyone watching this?

I'll just know that it was you. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Bye guys.

Thanks for the burger. Yeah, Chris, Chris, I can't believe we just met H3.

Dude, literally insane.

Oh my— he even acknowledged my micro penis too. That was—

that's crazy.

A lot of fun. Oh, what's the homeless man back?

Yeah, he's coming back.

I know you guys have like a bag of, uh, this one. Yeah, you guys— are you guys gonna eat these? I noticed there was some fries and burgers.

Oh, didn't you eat like 2 burgers?

Yeah, but I mean, if you guys aren't eating them.

Oh yeah, okay, I guess you can have some.

Yeah, yeah, you don't want to waste food on camera, right?

Yeah, I don't want to waste food.

You're, you're working on the micro peanuts, hiding it.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so this is all good? Yeah, yeah. Okay, all right, have fun in the tent. Thank you for the burgers, all right?

Yeah, Chris, you got a really nice shoe. Look at that.

Our shoe game is awesome, dude.

I got the Gucci shoes. Yeezys. Yeah, shoe game is—

wow.

Oh my goodness, dude. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's insane, guys. Comment who has the nice shoe game, honestly.

I mean, I don't want to I'm gonna lose.

I'm done shoving a camera in your face. We're about to head into In-N-Out. As you know, like, we're both super famous, you know, like, we're gonna get kicked out.

There's gonna be— it's gonna be chaotic.

Yeah, last time you went in, wasn't there like a swarm of people around you?

The police are gonna be coming. There's gonna be a lot of chaos.

I'm ready.

Pandemonium.

It's gonna be fun.

It's not really gonna work out, but let's give it a shot.

I think we're gonna get arrested. There's just gonna be so many people following.

It's dangerous. It's a hazard, really. I shouldn't do it, but for the video, we'll check it out.

I don't think anybody's, uh, recognized you guys yet.

I think that guy—

nah, I don't, I don't, I don't think that's happening.

MrBeast? No, no, no, nope, he's— it is not MrBeast.

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