The Real Reason Women Aren’t Getting Seen or Paid with Ashley Abarr

Welcome in to the studio Hidden Nation. You got Josh Carey here. It's your hidden entrepreneur tuned right into 710WOR, the voice of New York Hidden Nation. Today we are talking to a branding and sales strategist. We're joined in studio by Ashley Abar. She helps you get seen and get paid. Not just one or the other, both of those things. For me, they're equally as important. Ashley, welcome to the program.

I am so excited to be here. Thank you so much for having me.

I love everything that you're about and I know that we can go in a variety of directions, but I want to talk about the getting seen and getting paid, helping women step into who they are for that end result. Is there, is there an epidemic out there that you see that you're solving for? What is it?

So when I climbed the corporate ladder, something I noticed as I started my own business is that a lot of female founders and women entrepreneurs really struggle with not knowing how to get a return on investment if they haven't been in the corporate world. And a lot of female entrepreneurs have not. They don't know what to do. They don't know how to build a brand that's a sellable business and a scalable business. And that's where I come in. Because my corporate experience combined with the fact that I am a creative really just pulls those two pieces of the puzzle together in a way that would take about 10 people to do otherwise.

Is a lot of this working with mindset so they feel comfortable and confident or is it just getting the skills to know what to do?

Oh, you really know how to push my buttons. I like this. It actually is. And it's funny because I am such a strategy person. I am not that woo woo girl. But I will be the first one to tell you that your mindset is where it starts. It's the key to everything. So let me just ask you a question. What's your first memory of sales? Can you think of it like back into your childhood?

My father was a car sales salesman, actually working the car lot. And so my impression is just him having to come home and fighting to put food on the table every day.

The hustle, the drive. And you know, I'm going to age myself here. I'm a millennial. So mine was like that dad on Matilda who is also a used car salesman. And most people picture sales as sleazy, slimy, spammy, scammy. And really, if you are not selling whatever it is you offer, I don't care. It doesn't matter what it is, the product, the service, doesn't matter. If you're not actually out here selling to solve a problem, to provide a solution, and to just truly serve from the heart because you're passionate about what you do, then you're not just missing out on income, you're missing out on your purpose. And you're doing those people who need what you offer a huge disservice. And that's why sales is my favorite thing. And it's the most important skillset anyone can have in life or business.

Oh, that's true in life and business. I agree that sales is so much of what we need to master fundamentally. But I also know when I asked the loaded question about mindset, because I knew that you have to, I could give you the scripts and the tools and what to say and what to offer, but if you don't feel worthy or valuable to be able to ask for the sale or put the right price to it, you're not going to do it.

Well, it's so true. And especially in the female entrepreneur space, as women, we're always told we need to fit this cookie cutter personality, right? That we have to be perfect. And a lot of us struggle with being yes people and perfectionism and to see our own worth and our own value. And I love to just take the magic of someone and show them how worthy they are because I feel like as women at some point in our lives, we've all felt unworthy and unseen. And that's just the joy of it is like making someone just feel so seen and so believed in and to resonate with their dream client is they want to make their clients feel seen. And that's what makes makes a sale is when that person buying from you feels seen and like they relate to you.

How do you help your people get seen and get paid? How does it start?

So it starts with a consultation and this might surprise you, but it really starts with a deep dive of an audit into their brand. I like to see where they are so that I can just put my eyes on everything and like the whole mess or magic that it is. Because I have this visionary piece to see the big picture. And then it starts with just fine tuning one little tweak at a time while working on that mindset, while working with overcoming that fear of rejection. Because so many times people give up or they think they need to pivot or they need to change their offer because they've heard a no or a no response, when in reality you just keep going until you get the yes. And then that first yes is like a high. And then you just repeat it over and over and over again. I actually play a game, do you remember being a child? And it was like nose goes and you had to go turn off the light when it's time to go to bed or whatever it might be. That's silly. But I play this game called nose goes with my coaching clients and I make them record literally every no. Like a no call, a no show, no response. And I give a prize to the person who comes back to me on our next group coaching that has the biggest list of no's. Because a lot of our CRMs and all our lead trackers and all the techie stuff, they track the conversion rate, right? They're gonna track the yes. But if you don't actually know what your outreach was, you know nothing about an accurate conversion rate. Cause you only have one piece of that puzzle.

Wow. Was this brought. Were you brought up as a knowledgeable, confident, somebody who knew sales?

Absolute. I might look like I have it all together, but in fact it's the quite opposite. I grew up adopted by my grandparents and thank whoever you believe in for that because my parents struggled with addiction. And then I got married way too young because I got pregnant and that was a very abusive and tough situation. And I found myself at 21, a broke single mom starting her life over. And I made $13 an hour. I lived in a one bedroom garage apartment and I worked as a front desk receptionist for a general contractor. And the reason I am where I am today is because I didn't see all of these stumbling blocks that I came across in life as a stumbling blocks. Instead, I used them as a stepping stone and I used them as an opportunity. And I just kept asking for more. And I sold myself into every promotion, I sold myself into every opportunity. And I just proved everyone that thought I would fail wrong. And I want other women to realize that they can do that too. There is no obstacle that you can't overcome if you just believe in you. And if you don't believe in it for you, find your rock, find your person, and do it for them.

What a wonderful story. I really value and appreciate that. When we're talking about sales and branding, how does the branding play into all this?

Because people don't buy a book, they don't buy a product that you offer, they don't buy a coaching cohort because it's actually going to provide them the best transformation in the world. They buy your why they buy you, they Buy from people they know like and trust. And if you don't have a strong personal brand and an identifiable brand, people aren't going to buy your offer because it just, I mean, we're in the world of technology, there's another one on the other corner. So it's like it is your it factor. It is what makes you stand out in what I call like this crowded sea of sameness. So sales and branding go hand in hand. Once a long game, once a short game. But so many entrepreneurs are just incredible at what they do, but they don't know how to convert it. And if you don't have both that sales piece and the strong brand, you just get stuck in a cycle of wishing that you could.

What is the first step to having someone self assess how they could begin to stand out in a sea of sameness?

It would be to look at what your competitors are doing and really self reflect. Then you, you have to see what they're doing, what they're good at, what their unique factor is, and then how are you different from that? What is a gap that you feel fill in your niche that they're not filling? Right. So like, for me, because I'm a branding and sales strategist, one of my IT factors is I'm also a professional photographer and videographer and I've been in this space for over 15 years. So not only can I get you seen and paid, but I can get you the right strategic content that's going to convert with your dream client. And that's what makes me different from anyone that does what I do. So you just have to find what your differentiating factor is.

How did you learn from your origin story you spelled out? How did you then become the person you are today?

I think just never giving up and having the right people around me. It's so important, especially in this digital era, to put yourself in the right rooms. If you're in a room where you're the most successful person, then you need to go find a bigger room. Because I truly am the person I am today. Because. Because I had people who believed in me, because I had people who were helping me and mentoring me and by my side saying, hey, just keep going, you've got this. And if you don't have those people, go find them. Whether it's online, whether it's offline, your circle is so important.

What is the message to the female founder that desperately needs to hear from you today?

It's just that every version of you is beautiful and worthy at every age and every phase of life. Your business will thrive when you just truly step back and you do take care of yourself. You can have all the strategy, you can have all the fancy systems, but if you're empty and you're not taking care of you, you're missing. You're missing out because you're not going to be serving a purpose.

There you go. Ashley Abar, branding and sales strategists. Love the work you're doing. So vitally important. Thank you for everything you're doing.

Thank you so much for having me today.