#315: Balance is Bogus

Okay, can I fangirl for a moment? If you guys were in attendance at the 2019 Boutique Summit, you know that one of our best speakers that year was Nicole Walters. She was hysterical, she was honest, she was raw and she was memorable. And her big personality and business coaching skills online have definitely gotten her noticed with her all new TV show on USA network called she's the boss. You guys, Nicole is real deal. No fluff, no bs, just honest. This is what you do to continue to grow your business and not just retail business, but business and leadership in general. I love her way of thinking and her way of communicating. So you guys, I'm so pumped that she is our guest this week on the podcast. Please welcome my friend, Nicole Walters, entrepreneur, TV show host, reality show star. I don't know how else you would love me to introduce her other than I know you're going to love her. Let's chat with Nicole Walters. Let's talk about your business strategy and the juicy details of what actually works from mainstream fashion to fashion on Main street and the entire ecosystem behind it. How do we scale your company and do it with the balance and the happiness that we all seek? Let's hear from those insiders, experts and strategists that actually make it happen. I hi, I'm your host Ashley Alderson from the Boutique Hub and I can't wait to chat.

Hey guys, welcome back to the show this week. I'm so excited. Nicole Walters, you're here.

I'm excited to be here.

So many of our community after the Boutique Summit because you spoke with us in 2019. Loved, loved it. Every minute of it. A I think they peed their pants fit 55 times over listening to you because they were laughing so hard. Oh, we had a blast. I mean, talk about like real world, practical, the stuff that your mama should tell you but sometimes tell you advice. That's what you brought and it's so appreciated by the community. Not just boutique owners, but women in business in general. Thank you for that.

Oh, it was a blast. I mean, it was one of the greatest summits I did. I just love the way that you brought so many different solutions. You know, you had vendor solutions, you had real world applicable experience solutions and then you had motivation and just kind of good girlfriend pick you up type stuff. So it was definitely one of those environments where I was like, this is exactly what every business owner needs. So I can't wait until you bring the summit back, hopefully because you know, it's a must attend.

We're ready for in Person events for sure.

Yes.

So when you open the summit, and I think this is how a lot of people first got to know you. You were on this blogging journey and had a video go viral, in case anyone hasn't heard this part of the story. And this is how you opened your talk at the summit. Talk to me about that first viral video and leaving your corporate job.

Yeah. So it's crazy to look back on it because it was actually six years ago now and this video was me quitting my job live online in front of 10,000 people. And the video went viral to over 100,000 people in 24 hours after that. So it was bananas. But it looked a lot crazier than it was in real life because, you know, I'd built a place to go. And it's so, so fun chatting with like boutique and E commerce owners because you guys are actually far more advanced than I was at that point because you typically have built something for you to go to so you have a better vision and it's more tangible of what the future looks like, versus me opening up a consulting firm with a couple of clients under my belt and hoping I can grow and scale this thing, you know, So I had my corporate experience, so I was ready. But, you know, I think that people here really understand. I built a place to go.

Yeah. Now, your parents have given you some feedback. Your mom specifically had some feedback for you during this time. What did she say to you? And you quit. Like, did she watch the video before you could even tell her what happened?

Oh, yeah. My mom, first of all was ringing my phone off the hook. If it was. If there was ever a time to avoid your mama's phone calls, this was it. You know, she was like, what are you doing? What are you doing? You are quitting your job. It was like, parents are African, so they're just like, you're crazy. What are you doing? But her biggest piece of advice was, you know, it's great that you're quitting your job, you know, and pursuing your purpose or what have you, but you've got to pay the bills. What are you going to do to make money? And I was like, mom, I got a plan, you know, and she's like, well, then you need to work that plan, honey. And. And she was completely right.

Yeah. So many people kind of fall into that. I'll just say, like, there's a safety trap.

Right?

There's the way that people say you should go get a four year degree and you should do all these things that are Safe. And I feel like now we're coming to this place where entrepreneurship is more common. Right. Media, which is wonderful. But a lot of us fought that battle of you should just get a safe job.

Oh, yeah, the should do's will get you right. And I mean, I gotta tell you, there's nothing like sort of, I don't know what it is about getting past 30 where you're kind of like, okay, no one's gonna tell me what I should do anymore, like, because this isn't working. I may not know what I'm supposed to do, but I know that I don't want to be told what I'm.

Supposed to do anymore.

Yeah, you're right. Entrepreneurship is getting a whole new light to it with social media and all of us being able to have these conversations. But I think everyone's always kind of had a side hustle. You know, the lemonade stand has been going on for years. You know, the mother selling Tupperware out of her home, you know, people setting up yard sales every weekend. I mean, this truly is part of the American framework. It's not something that brand new. We're just hearing about it for the first time.

That's so true. So good. How do you know when you're ready? So when you think about, like, you took this huge leap and I'm sure there's people listening that are like, I want to start a boutique, or maybe I've started, but I still have a full time job. When do you pull the plug? When you go in. All in.

So I always tell people, and Ashley, you're just like this too. This is like your business brain, you know, is. It's math. Right? You know, a lot of times we're basing it off of some magical feeling, you know, where we'll say, okay, I'll get to this point where it'll be assured and certain and I'll have total confidence. Yeah, right. That is not a thing. I have been at this thing for six years and I still don't have total confidence it's going to work out. I'm over here, like, what if I don't, what if this doesn't happen? You know, it's just a normal thing. And, you know, I think since, you know, throw in a little sprinkle of a pandemic, you know, you get a little pandemic and you're like, anything could happen, you know? So I think that the only thing you can expect is the unexpected. But you can do the math to kind of get an idea of what it looks like. So financially I just said, you know what, I'm actually doing a lot better than I thought. And that fear of looking at your numbers is really what ultimately ends up being the downfall of most business owners. Whether it's physical products or service based.

Number grows. Yes, you had mentioned this actually during your talk at Summit. You were talking about the problem of free. Yes. Like we go down this like we're only going to feel good about ourselves and others if we give it away for free. And now you have just a really expensive hobby. Tell me about that. How do you quit that misconception conception of free?

Well, I think that one of the things I had to say to myself was, look, I, if I'm saying yes to someone, I'm saying no to something else. And once I started putting it in that context, it became very easy because I'm a family first type of girl. So here I am running a multi million dollar business, I have a TV show, I'm doing all these things. But the truth is anytime I say yes to something else, I'm saying no to, you know, doing a pickup at the carpool. I'm saying no to, you know, showing up at a performance or a recital like, or I'm saying no to my own restorative self care personal. So the same thing applies with doing free. If you refuse to get paid, then how are you going to turn around and look at your family and say, oh yeah, no, I'm sorry I didn't make it home for dinner, but it was because I was doing free for someone else. Like yikes, let's not be that person. You know what I mean?

It's so, it's like worthy. Right? Like you have to understand that your worth is not based on some arbitrary dollar amount that you're going to charge over this fear of, is it fear of rejection. Do you think like people do discounts and free so often?

Oh, totally. I think that for some reason we feel like if we do free we can be held less accountable if it goes wrong and we think it offsets, you know, some of that responsibility. If there's an issue because we're just so deathly afraid that we're going to have someone reject us or say something back. But I got to be completely honest. If you're comfortable giving the advice for free, that means you must think it's good enough. Or if you're comfortable giving the product for free, you must think it's good enough because frankly, you don't want to give a bad product away for Free either. So either stop doing it entirely or start charging for it.

Yeah. Is there when you think people like making this move into going all in in their business. Right. Are there common misconceptions like we're talking about? Entrepreneurship is more normalized on social media, but the same is true of like flashing your Lambo on Insta, oh my God. Thinking that you're really rolling in it, but really you're broke and it's not going well. Like there's a yin and yang people have to work out. What are the misconceptions?

I think the biggest misconception is that entrepreneurship means you don't have a 40 hour work week. And that's, that's crazy. I mean all it is is that you get to enjoy the hours that you're putting in more. That's the trade off. So it's not that you're going to work less hours, it's that hopefully the hours that you're working one, you'll maximize them because they're just far more enjoyable and the work feels fruitful and worthy. But odds are you're going to be putting in the same amount of time, possibly more. So I think that is easily the biggest misconception, especially because we've turned into a society that's focus on automation. You know, let's automate it. Let's get this funnel built. Let's set up this thing so that you don't actually ever have to talk to a person. And I just, you know, you can automate systems that you can't automate relationships. And I found that building a business old school, particularly if you're in E commerce and physical product industries, cannot be escaped. And it's actually the thing that's going to keep you around for the longest.

Yeah. It kind of feels like you have to remind yourself to do the hard thing first.

Yes, yes. Eat that frog.

Get the hard things done.

Yes.

What are, would you say that there's like three mindsets or three things or three skill sets that people should know to really make sure they're launching their business the right way. Like you talked about measuring what matters, right. Reports and numbers. What else do you think is like crucial? You have to have this in order for your business to grow.

Well, obviously first thing is the numbers. Always, I mean get, get used to it. Start to love them, get comfort, comfortable. Even if they're bad, lean up in them because your numbers are your guide and they really do help you. So you're not overthinking, so you're not staying in your head and so that you make decisions like a true CEO. So pay attention to the numbers. The second thing is setting boundaries, and not just with your family and your consumer, but also with yourself. It's really important to sit down at the top of every month or the top of every year and really delineate kind of where am I going to be and what is required and, you know, who is responsible for what. And I found that, you know, setting these boundaries and then upholding these boundaries is really, really, really important to make sure that I can actually do what I need to do and be where I'm supposed to be. And then the last thing I think is build a business that is worthy of selling. Because if you build a business that you know could be sold, it also means that you can delegate easier. It means that you're not immersing yourself in it so much that you can't get yourself out of it. And this is probably the hardest thing for most business owners as we're growing and scaling. When you build something that has a touch of a personal brand to it, or you're just, you know, honestly, you're kind of a control freak, you know, and you just want to know everything's done right. It can be really hard to start letting go. But that's what's necessary if you're going to be honest about being with your family and also living, you know, the life that you've earned based on the work that you've done.

That's so powerful. I think of it like there's the entrepreneurs mindset, and then their CEO mindset is build something worth selling. I'm gonna. I'm gonna make that a quote card for you because we get. So it's like our identity is so wrapped up into what we're creating and, like, can't give it away to anybody else.

Yes.

Just so tied and chained to our business. We can never.

Yes.

How do you unwind the chain so you can start to see scale your business?

Well, from some of the tactical pieces, you know, it's making sure you're doing your legal stuff correctly. So, you know, I have my business divided up, you know, into specific LLCs, you know, that are. Are totally delineated. And my personal brand is separate from my business brand. So all of my products, all of my teaching tools, all those things are under the inherit learning company brand. And then all of my, like, books, appearances, speaking gigs, podcast, TV show are under the Nicole Walters brand. And the reason why I did that right out of the gate instead of Trying to mix up the is because Inherent Learning should be a company that could go to the stock market and IPO and get sold and have a different CEO and, you know, then they can pay and. Or hire Nicole Walters as talent for the brand. You know, and there are some tactical things that you can do with a lawyer. Again, just like numbers, we don't have to make it up. You know, there are actual bullet points that you can do to help keep things clean so that, that way, when the time comes, you know, you're able to escape and know that everything will be just fine.

You happen to have some legal help in the family?

Yes, I do. I'm really blessed. My husband is the general counsel for the business, but we actually have several lawyers. So I have like an entertainment lawyer. I have another corporate lawyer that I work with. So, I mean, you know, it's great because my contracts get looked at like four or five times. So. So everything's always covered perfect.

What other steps do you think people can take just to, again, put that CEO cap on and find additional ways to scale?

Yeah, so I think that, you know, one of the hesitancies that people struggle with is hiring because. And there's nothing more CEO than starting to delegate. Right. And it's because I know that this is very common with clients that I work with. When they think of paying someone's salary, they're thinking, I don't have $40,000 today in full right now. And so because I don't have that, I could never hire someone. And part of this is great. It's an integrity thing. Right? You're saying, look, I want to be person who, if I bring someone on board, I'm able to pay them and sustain and be consistent. But you're forgetting, like a CEO, that you are not paying them their whole salary at once. You're paying them every two weeks. So what the. And that all along the way, they're supposed to be earning their salary. So you should be seeing 3x ROI, right? Three times the return on investment on any employee you bring on board.

So if that employee isn't turning you those funds within six months or so, then you can say, look, it's not a good fit. And you only ever paid them half of their total salary. So instead of freaking out and saying to yourself, oh, my gosh, I can't do this, Remember, people aren't coming on board as W2 full tax, payroll and benefits employees. They're starting off as 1099 contractor vendors at $10 an hour, you know, and what would you do with an extra 20 hours a month because you paid someone $50 a week? I mean tremendous things. So I mean those are some of the little things that really help you scale shifting from thinking of it, you know, employee style and thinking of it more CEO style.

I love that. It's an investment.

That's right.

It's pretty amazing to run those numbers backwards. Just like you're talking about having a three times ROI. You're right. If you $10 to say for easy math for three hours a week or five hours a week, you've invested in somebody if you had five more hours.

Oh yeah.

What income generating activities. Oh yeah. To make more money.

Oh yeah. It's just a no brainer. Well, and it's funny because we say to ourselves, oh, but why would I have someone coming and sorting my inbox, you know, because that doesn't feel like it's income generating right out of the gate. But I'm like, no. If you are not responding to your emails and you're losing money making opportunities, whether it's through exposure or whether it's through follow up with clients or cold leads, clients that could have been upsold but you just never had time to get to it because it falls on the back burner, well, guess what? They made their money back. You know, and it's simple. If someone you're paying fifty dollars can make you a hundred and fifty dollars or you could make a hundred and fifty dollars from paying someone fifty bucks, it is worth it. The math makes sense.

Yeah. Is Eddie the biggest investment on your team?

He's the biggest expense. God bless him, he is the biggest expense. No, eddie is. He's 24. A lot of people don't pick that up. And there is some merit to hiring young because he's got energy, he's got enthusiasm, he's got gusto. But he is like a bull in a china shop. And I'm regularly trying to rein him in so that I'm able to actually get things done around here.

I love that if anyone hasn't had a chance to watch your show on USA Network yet, that that's probably one of the highlights.

Yes.

I feel like I want to go shopping with Eddie.

You will spend a lot of money. That's what I can tell you. He loves to swipe a card and hold a purse. These are his favorite things to do. And it will cost you.

That's perfect. What do you think? Like, as your team has grown, you've scaled, what's the biggest mistake you've Made in hiring.

I took too long to hire. So that was easily. And that was based on, I would say some of it is the trauma. Trauma of poverty. I grew up without money, and so because of that, I just really, really scared about spending. My business is proudly debt free. So because of that, I just didn't want to let go of that, you know, and I didn't recognize that. Well, I had to recognize eventually. What I'm letting go of is margin, not actual money. So if I'm making, you know, in my business, up until a year ago, I was pulling in a 99% gross profit margin. That's absurd. Once I hired, it went down to 83%, still ridiculously good, you know, so it was one of those things, though, where it was like, you know, when I look at a 99%, you know, profit margin, it means that I'm expending labor that is probably not getting a financial return. So I had to say to myself, if I gave up a little bit of this margin, 10%, what if I just got peace of mind? What if I didn't even do anything extra? What if I just didn't do that work? It's worth it. So. So, yeah, biggest mistake I made was waiting too long to actually hire and scale and get help.

I can relate to that. And I think it goes back to similar, you know, story. Growing up farmers, ranchers, did not come from anything. Money doesn't grow on trees. I've just very much in our lack, in our scarcity. This was a whole unraveling journey for me. Like, I had to hire a coach to understand my mindset. I didn't even know that was a thing.

It is a thing.

The rich got richer and the poor got poorer.

Right.

Did you have the same, like, you somehow had to unravel or maybe relearn what it was like to be a woman with a great income?

Yeah. Oh, absolutely. I mean, what's crazy is. And I, you know, obviously I had a therapist, you know, for this, but my therapist, you know, was talking to me about how sometimes mindsets can be passed from generation to generation. And these mindsets, what's hard is they're not always bad. It's just that they don't serve you in the present. And that was the thing I had to unlearn. So, I mean, you know, just to be very candid, one of the mindsets that I learned from my father was, was that wealth only belonged to white people. And, you know, and that you had to be careful because certain things didn't Belong to you, you know, as a African American, because, like, it's not. If you're too wealthy, it's not safe, or if it's too wealthy, you're. You can't necessarily get access to certain spaces, you know, even if you have money, it's not going to, you know, fix this about your life, you know, just very negative mindsets around where I'm allowed to go, or, you know, things like you have two nicks against you. You're both black and a woman, so you just need to be mindful, you know. And he would tell me these things, not knowing their wider impact, because when he was growing up, he grew up during Jim Crow and segregation, and his father grew up, you know, with vague recollections of slavery, you know. So, I mean, if you look back.

Those sorts of mindsets and thought processes were. Really did serve them well then, because it kept them alive, you know, it kept them safe. It kept them where they were supposed.

To be in terms of what was.

A safe environment for them, you know, because you couldn't go places where you weren't permitted to go at the time, you know, But I have to look at my dad and say, look like things have changed, you know, And. And if there hasn't been a black person there first or a black woman there first, then I can be the.

First one, you know, And.

And. But I have to be bold enough to do so. So it was something that I realized eventually. It was passed down, but I didn't.

Have to own it.

I didn't have to make it my reality. And that was a really big shift for me because once I realized, oh, I can do anything, I can go anywhere, it may be hard, it may be difficult, it may be challenging, but I can do it, the world opened up, you know, and I was able to really pursue it.

I'm so thankful for the way you've shared that journey in the last here. Like, we've. We've been living just an unbelievable time. Yeah.

So much happening.

Yeah. I'm trying to think, is it. Is it beauty through pain? Like, I don't know, an awakening, I.

Guess, is kind of how I'm describing it. Just kind of, you know, things have always been. But I think we're seeing it in a whole new way, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. You've candidly shared that. And when I think about you, look, I think about how well you break barriers. So you're talking about, you know, being a woman of color, being a woman like these two. You have an interracial Marriage?

Yeah.

Interracial, interfaith, blended family, adopted kids. I mean, I always joke. My team always jokes about it. We're the United nations of family. We're a little bit everything, you know, and we're also a complete and total hot mess, you know, so it's like you get to see it all here.

I just love that you're carving that path for so many people, though. Like, you're. You're making it okay for so many people who maybe did not know they had that learning behavior. We're learning a new way. If there's anything like. If you think about that message that you have to share with people, what do you. What do you want people to take away from your United nations of a family, like most people would learn just by watching this unfold and how you're leading others?

Yeah, I think. I think if they're watching the TV show or my life on social or whatever, the biggest thing I hope people take from it is one. I hope they connect to some aspect of it. And I think most of us can, you know, like, whether it's being first generation, being an immigrant, be growing up poor now not being poor, or trying to change. There's just so many different elements there that I think people can connect to. But once they connect to that, I really hope what they see is that you can live your life by design. You can rewrite your internal narrative, and you don't have to be a player in someone else's story. The book can be about you, you know, and that is what I think is so incredible and so life altering. When you finally experience accept, you know, do I want to be a player in someone else's game, or do I want to, you know, lead the charge? Then it really just shapes your actions. Therefore, it doesn't mean it's easy. You know, it doesn't mean that we necessarily know how to do it. But if you're willing to say and own that, then it just changes your whole perspective on how you decide to do things, moving forward. And that's what's really powerful.

Yeah. So powerful in every level. That visualization, that manifestation, that knowing that it's possible. Oh, my goodness. The other thing that you like. I'm just thinking about all these new paths that you carve when you speak to people in your email list. You call them rich friends. I do, yes.

Rich friend.

And I feel like that's even a whole other conversation of just normalizing women with successful businesses. And I think sometimes you're made to just stay small, be Quiet. Remain humble. Don't tell anyone. Don't. Don't talk about money at all.

It's inappropriate. Yes.

Yeah, let's talk about that. Let's unpack that. What does it mean to remain humble, but normalize it in a way that it makes it okay, and it makes it achievable for other people to build successful businesses, too?

Sure. So this is a big one. So I'm a Christian, and so my belief system is, you know, I believe in God, I believe in Jesus. Like, that's like, what drives my decision making.

Right.

And it's just who I am. But where that fits in for me in terms of answering this question is I absolutely believe it's important to be humble and have humility. But it's humility before God. You know, I don't need to be humble before man. So I'm allowed to own the things that I've done and I'm allowed to be proud of my accomplishments as long as I don't sit here and say that I did them myself. And I don't. I give credit to, you know, the impact and worked of Christ and everything that I do, and that I'm also able to share and give back to those answers to say, look, like these are the things I've been delivered from. This is the suffering that isn't part of my world anymore. Let me share these answers with you. So I think that as women oftentimes, you know, in the very earthly way, we're always told, do less, shrink, be smaller, be submissive, like, this is what is the making of a person. But I just have never been able to reconcile how I can be small and also be bold in Christ. Like, I can't be both. Right. So if I want to speak, scream from a rooftop what he's done over my life and, like, all the things that I've accomplished and how, like, my light is shining, I just don't know how to reconcile doing that in a small way. So if I'm getting it wrong, I'll deal with it at the end of my days. But for right now, you're gonna hear me being out here, accomplishing, knocking things out so that, that way I can be like, look what has happened, and, like, this is possible. So, I mean, that's kind of how I've reconciled it, you know?

Yeah. And it's. It's. So going back to this money mindset conversation of. I'll tell you another one, and I'll wrap this all together that I heard was that it's, you're more holy if you're poor. Right, right, right, right. A camel to pass through the eye of a needle. Right. Than the human. And so you have this like idea of, oh, it's not. Not okay. But you're boldly sharing your faith.

Yes.

You're a God girl. Yep. And it's better to, you know, have money in the hands of a Christian that can do great things with it on top of.

Yes, this all day.

Okay.

This all day. So for me, I'm such a big believer in money is good in my hands. Like I have good hands for money. Like, money is when it comes to me, it is landing in a good place where it belongs and where it will be used to do good. So it's already out there. I think one thing no one can argue with is money's already out there changing hands. It's going places, it's being used for different things. And some of those things are for bags. So why wouldn't I get out there to get my share that I can use to one as a Christian or a God girl? Advance God's interest. Right. Positive things, but also used to advance just interests of the world for goodness, charity, non profit work, things like that. And I also believe that if God thinks, look, Nicole does positive things, she makes people feel good about themselves. She, you know, supports her family. She's like, you know, she's funny, she has great skin, she has trustworthy eyebrows. Like she's got all these things she, she's bringing to the world. Right. So why not make sure that she's able to spend time in her purpose, full time. And whether or not you're a believer, one thing I think we all know is that when you're in your purpose, that's the only place you're supposed to be. Like, you're not supposed to be doing anything else. So why on earth would you think that you're not supposed to have money that will permit you to be there as much as possible? Like, if you've ever had an amazing doctor and I think we talked a little bit about like cancer journey journeys, you know, and when I look at my daughter, Chrissy had cancer and when.

I look at and she doesn't anymore, for all the moms listening who are like, no, like she doesn't anymore. She's totally fine, she's healed, we're grateful.

But when I met her doctor there, it was almost a ease about him in, in terms of how to treat her. An awareness, a confidence that was not only helpful in the moment, but it Was also indicative of him being in his purpose. Like, he just knew what he was doing. And I, at that point, when I think of the role he played in our life, I would have paid him any amount of money he would ask in order to continue to be there, because there's no other places. If I found out this man was also part time at Target, you know, restocking shelves, I would have been like, sir, we need to have a conversation. Because that there's like, 11 babies you weren't healing because you were busy, you know, in a red shirt. Shirt and khakis. Like, this is not okay. You know what I mean? So I think it's important that we not only charge what we charge. Well, because if you found your purpose, thank God you need to be there 24 7.

Yes. Oh, there's a lot of word vomit that wants to come out of me right now. But I have to tell you this so in case you guys are listening and you don't know. So Nicole's daughter and I shared the same type of cancer. So we. We've got this parallel journey. But Nicole, the very first person that ever introduced me to mindset and the power of your thoughts was my cancer doctor.

Wow.

Yeah. And he said. He said, ashley, just as important as the chemo you are about to receive is how you think about it and the mindset. And I mean, I just get chills.

Chills. Oh, my gosh, girl.

Chills.

Just because think about this like one. Anyone who's gone on this journey, you know, understands that that is so true. It is so, so true. And if you're hearing it from a doctor who believes in conventional medicine, right, who's saying, like, no meds, drugs, like, we'll do all the things. Oh, yeah. But he's also like, yeah, and all that stuff is great, but it's your brain. It's your thoughts. Like, if a doctor is prescribing good thoughts as part of your treatment plan, don't you think we should be using that every day, too? Like, yeah, Hello. Yeah, it's true. Like, our family, one of the things we did to kind of get. Not through the cancer journey, but, you know, while it was in our life, you know, to say, hey, this is part of how we're going to handle it, was that we always treated cancer as a temporary visitor. You know, we were like, you know, it's here for a while, you know, and we're gonna have to deal with this, but then it's going to leave, you know, and so we're Just going to act like this is a season that we're in and we're going to still laugh and we're still going to tell jokes, folks. And this is just something we're going through right now. This is the end date where cancer is going to be evicted, you know, so here we are. This is it, you know, and that was the mindset. We never, ever embrace cancer as a, even as a long term diagnosis or part of our family. Like, it just, it happened, it's gone, it will never return, you know?

Yeah. People ask me about it today and they're like, oh, so terrible. And they have this like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I quickly. And I'm like, no. I say, that's one of the biggest blessings that happened in my life.

That's right.

Something good comes from every bad situation. And the mindset thing, that's just one of many. But the humility, like, oh, yeah, I was telling you we were joking about wigs before the podcast. Sounds like a bull. You don't know this, but I have three wigs named Brittany, Brandon and Bridget that I squirted. And everyone in my family warm, including my dad, who was a 70 year old farmer with a cold tooth.

Oh, my gosh.

And now imagine him as a young, hot blonde.

I.

Oh my God. Personality. And like, to me, laughter is also the best medicine. You come through all of this absolutely same.

Oh, my gosh. We had jokes all the time. I mean, we joked about the cancer and some people might think it was a little crass, but we would say like, look, just eat it up now. Eat it up now. Because this cancer is on its way out the door. When it's out the door, you are doing dishes, you are gonna work. Okay? So you just lean up. This is, is the cancer resort, okay? You just lay up and enjoy it right now, like, and so, because this cancer is not going to be around. And I mean, so it was like in one breath, you know, we are laughing and taking what might be a difficult moment where she's saying, like, I need this or I need that, you know, and that might be a little stressful for all of us to care for her, you know, so we're trying to lighten that mood because we know she can't help it, you know, but then on the other end, we're also saying, look, like we're not receiving this cancer as a permanent resident in our life, you know, so we're going to always use language in the affirmative to say this thing is going to pass. And the same thing applies even in my business. I try not to be, you know, toxic positivity. Like things will go wrong. Right? That is the nature of business. Things will go wrong and I should accept that. But what I try to do is I try to say, look, things will.

Go wrong, but answers exist and I'm good at solving problems. So like that's the positivity part is just telling the full truth about scenarios that bad things will happen. But answers do exist and I'm good at meeting and solving problems. And I think that that's the balance that I wish I saw more online, you know, and that it wasn't just like, you can have all the money in the world if you just believe. No, you can have all the money in the world because the answers do exist on how to get that money. But you'll need to meet and solve problems before you get there. Like that's the whole full sentence sentence, you know.

Yeah. And it's so true. And anyone that you know that's been successful in this world, they all had to overcome some crappy situation in real time.

They're still dealing with it because, you know, more money, more team, more staffs, more stores, more problems. There's always new things. So yeah, that's the real deal. Hey guys.

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This incredible journey with your family and now you're living it out on a television show. On top of all of it crazy. You've got some, like, serious boundaries. You've got some serious boundaries and some serious new, like, gratitude because of what your family's going through. Cancer journey. How do you see stay, you know, present in a growing business, but also very present with your family, with your private life? How do you balance that?

I know balance well. So I mean. And we'll exactly address that. So I don't. You know what I mean? Balance is bogus. I think the whole concept that we'll always have it figured out is just unfair, unrealistic, and not true. You know what it looks like more for me is we're all going to be juggling a bunch of balls, and it's just up to me to decide which ones are rubber, rubber and which ones are glass. And that's the best thing that I can do is make sure my glass ones don't drop and that my rubber ones will bounce back. So a rubber ball for me in my life would be something like picking up, doing school pickups every day. I'd love to be able to do it, but more, it's more likely a once in a while surprise where I'm able to do the pickup and then we grab an ice cream cone and it's like, oh, my gosh, mom, you did the pickup. You know, and every time she does that, I definitely feel the mom guilt of, I wish I did this every day, or I wish I could do this a couple times a week. But that was one of the boundaries. We established that on Wednesday, mom does her pickups, you know, so that, that way it's a regular thing, but being okay with letting go of the rest of the week. Now a glass ball for me, you know, was when my daughter was going through chemo. I was there at her sessions. That was what I did. That was. It was glass. It was a once in a lifetime thing. It was my job to be there. That's what that looks like. Because if it dropped, it would have shattered, you know, So I think that the best thing we can do is kind of identify and ask ourselves regularly.

Is this a rubber ball moment or.

Is this a glass ball moment? And if you're able to say, you.

Know what, this one can probably bounce back, then immediately granting yourself some grace to let it bounce.

That's a powerful statement. Do your kids, like, how do they see it? Like, do you bring them into the same conversation of rubber and glass? Or what do you feel like, how do I frame this? We make bucket lists for our kids.

Yeah, right.

There's bucket list of things we want them to know or learn or experience. How do you feel like you're raising them in a new or different way because of the life that you've lived so far?

Yeah, I would definitely say that. What's great is I got my kids late, right? So I've only been a mom for six years because I adopted them. So we were able to sort of implement a, like, hey, guys, we've all chosen each other as family, so here's how we want to do it, you know, And. And one thing that's the overarching conversation is that we're a team, right? So, you know, as a team, we all have to do our part. And if we don't do our part, everybody is impacted. It's not just about us. So, you know, while it may seem like mom's job is to go make money. Right. Well, your job is to do dishes, and if you don't do the dishes and then mom comes back from making money and she can't eat dinner, you know, well, that'll affect her ability to make money. So you actually play a role in making sure that we make money for the family. So team. Team Walters is a very real thing in our household. So. And then we also have conversations about how different team members will need extra help at different times. So, like, when Chrissy had cancer, you know, that was, hey, team Walters, we've got a team member who's down right now, which means we're going to have to double up, you know, to help this team member. But when she's back, she's going to help us out when we're down, you know, and so that's really how we manage in our household. And it works.

Well, it's not perfect, right?

We have moments where people drop the ball, but even in those moments, the.

Conversation is, hey, we're a team. So what happened here? And very quickly, my kids are kind.

Of like, you're right. You know what I mean? Like, in that moment, I chose myself, or in that moment, I chose what.

I wanted to do or I didn't uphold what who I said I want to be. And so I'm going to, you know, look back and say, look, like, this is not okay. I need to recalibrate because I'm part of a team.

Yeah, I like that. And it's a lesson. Like, I think about this conversation we have about rich friends, right. And normalizing women making money. I think there's an inherent fear that goes with that, what if my kids are spoiled? Or what if my kids aren't easy? Because you hear these entrepreneurial journeys and it's usually people that came from nothing and they were hungry and they created something. So now there's a fear of that my kids really haven't had to want for anything. How do I normalize that for them so they're still hungry, but in a different way?

Well, it does help that, you know, again, our kids are adopted, so we all share a very similar background of coming from not nothing. We know what it's like, except for my little, little one.

And.

And that is evident. I mean, she says things like, we sometimes travel, you know, private. And she'll say, well, why don't we just park the plane in our backyard so we'd have to go to the airport. Okay, ma', am, first of all, going to the airport's not hard to get on a private jet. Don't act like that's hard work. Second, we're not parking a plane in the back or in our yard. Third, we have a yard. Like, I grew up in apartments. It used to be goals for me to just have stairs inside my house. Okay, like, what are you talking about? Right? Like, just, I mean, she just doesn't have any calibration around it, you know, like. Or how come everyone doesn't drive a Tesla? Don't they care about the planet? Okay, so you are drawing a lot of parallels right now that just don't come together. We need to have this conversation. So, like, she says little snotty things that she doesn't realize what they sound like, you know, and we always put it in a context. But the biggest thing that I've made clear to my kids is, look, this is my money. I love y', all, I really do. But this is my money, my maid. You're like, this is not yours. Like, you are renting your room for me until you move on to your own world. I mean, so this house is. This is my house. This is where I will live forever. I. You will have another place to go someday. You will have your own life someday. And so it's up to you to.

Design what that's going to look like.

You know what I mean? But I've. I'm living my life right now.

So, you know, I mean, and my.

Kids, like, we laugh about it and.

We say it all light heartedly, and no one takes me seriously in my family, but, you know, it is something that I think it just plants a little seed in their head. And they still have responsibility. So my daughter has been doing her own laundry since she was 5. You know, and all my kids do their own laundry. All of them do their own loads. And we raised a home of helpers. So no matter what, they know that they should always be looking for a way to help. So even if I'm working in my garden, they're like, do you need me to help carry trays out? Do you need me to bring you a water? Do you want me to help manage the dogs while you're, while you're outside? Because they recognize again, the team, you know, we're all, where can we help? And, and that's important. So, like, yeah, I'm, I'm not passing on, you know, future spouses that are going to be slugs. You know, they're gonna, they're gonna be.

Helpers, the way it should be. Let's talk about this TV show. So you just had a season finale.

Yes.

In case anyone has not watched this yet, which obviously we'll have it all linked up in the show notes, but get ready to here fans, because it is. But tell us about the show first and then I, I want to hear more about the origins of the show. But in case anyone hasn't watched it, tell us a little bit about what they're playing on the show.

Yeah, yeah. So I mean, what's great is it's different from most reality tv, you know, like, we're not flipping tables, we're not being mean to each other. You know, like, it, it really is just a look at what it's like to balance, you know, your family and your business and the fact that those two things are just never imbalance. And the show's called she's the Boss on USA Network. And the reason why it's called she's the Boss is because I'm not, you know, I'm really, really, really not. And you get to watch kind of how I'm navigating, parenting the kids and handling all this stuff. So it's exciting. You get to see things like what it's like to get the first car and pick out a college, but also how to manage your office while your assistant keeps jumping in, trying to do his own stuff and just really balancing all of that, like coming home after a day of work into chaos in your house and being like, okay, I guess it's another shift, you know. And so I think it's fun, I think it's light hearted, it's positive, and it's just a reflection of real life.

It is so real life that you spine on your child thinking that she's on a date.

That's real life. That's real life. Like, I mean, you have to make the time for what counts. And that's messaging that I always say. So. So, yeah, being a business owner, it's what counts.

That's perfect. So, I mean, I'm just thinking about you having this TV show, and one thing you always say is that you're great at pitching yourself, you're great at sales. And I think sometimes people have this negative idea of what selling is, that in order for you to have this show, you had to sell yourself.

Right.

You had to pitch yourself. What can people learn from that? How to pitch themselves. Yeah.

So I think what I was really blessed with was the opportunity to come to us, you know, but the. It came to us because I was always selling myself. And I think that's the thing that a lot of us forget, that it isn't just about finding a specific place and then trying to pitch your way into the door. It's recognizing that every time you are on social or interacting with someone at an event or talking to a vendor, you know, a lot of times we think if it's a vendor, we can sort of behave anyway or pay our bills anyway or do whatever. No, like, that's a relationship that's managed too. And that was something that we always kept in mind, was this is who we are and this is how we want to show up. So I didn't want what. What would eventually appear on TV to be drastically different than what you see on social media, because then people would be like, wait a minute, you know, like, who's. What's the real thing here? So the real blessing has been that, you know, I've always thought to myself in every interaction, whether it's on social media, in the comments, in the dm, in an email, with a vendor, on site, in person. How am I making sure that the person who's interacting with me wants to continue the relationship? Even if the relationship is done at.

This point, you know, where it's like, oh, we said hi and you went separate ways. I want them to say if Nicole Walters ever came up again or I thought of her, I want to feel like that's a relationship I want to maintain. And so that's really how I present myself, you know, of course, without compromising my values. Like, we said no to a lot of. Of TV opportunities that just weren't in alignment, you know, and that weren't in alignment with my Values with my. How I want my kids, you know, to be portrayed or to grow up, and then the opportunities I received independently that I didn't think were a reflection of my community and wouldn't honor the people who supported me for years and years. So you gotta know what to say no to also. So those are both big pieces.

And something I appreciate about you is you are bold in what you. You speak and what you stand for, and there's a lot of people who aren't.

Right.

You know, that will waver for the approval of others. Right, Right. That's. That's a big lesson for all of us. Like, you walk boldly in that, and I admire that about you.

Well, it's okay, because I think that what I found, especially with the Christianity thing, like, for some people, that can be a total turn off.

Right?

They can be like, oh, no, she's all like, faithy. And it's weird. But the truth is, like, it just makes it clear where I stand. It doesn't mean that I'm, like, this person or that person. What I found more and more, especially in my community, my community, we have LGBTQIA Muslims, we have everyone. Right. Like our. It's very welcoming, very well loved. You know, my husband's Jewish, like, melting pot. But what happens is people are like, I just love that you're clear, you're passionate, and I know that you answer to something higher than the dollar, and I know that you stand for something, and I know exactly where you stand, and you're clear about it. So they appreciate knowing that, at least when they look at me face to face, that, like, you're gonna get what you're gonna get. And I think we lose sight of that in trying to be what we think people want. And we forget that inconsistency is actually more damaging for our business than it is to be consistently terrible or consistently great or consistently honest about your faith. You know? So it's like, pick a place, stand there, and then you'll get your people.

Yeah. Draw a line in the sand versus a thousand followers.

That's right.

Agrees with you. You don't belittle them. Like, it's. It is what it is.

Oh, yeah, no, like, I get that all the time. Like, I get. I mean, I get messages out the wazoo of people being like, I really don't agree with such and such. And I'm like, what's great is you have an opportunity and the power to exercise your healthy boundary of unfollowing. So. And I wish you the best, God Bless you. Send them on in. Jesus name.

Oh, my God. Well, Nicole, before we wrap up, I just have to say thank you. You are a busy woman. You've got some amazing things happening. It's so cool to get to watch your journey unfold. And you're just. You're spreading the light in so many different ways in this world and breaking barriers in so many different ways. I'm really proud to get to watch you. So thank you.

Ashley, you're amazing. Like you, you used to include me in opportunities long before the so I appreciate you for always being in my corner. You're amazing. You're smart, you're brilliant, and people are lucky to know you.

Thank you. All right, last question. I've got to wrap up the podcast with this question because it's a big question because we aren't l Widgets, right? We're here for bigger purposes. So when you are on the front step with the hubbins and the mid tinies and all of the Eddies of the world 30 years from now, and you're talking about this life that you lived, this crazy journey that you were on, and these highs and lows and, oh, my gosh, can you believe those happened moments? And as you tell that story to your grandkids someday, what's the thing you want them to remember most about who you are and the life that you live?

Oh, wow. I would want them to say, she did worthy work and she lived her legacy. I think that would probably be the biggest takeaway so that my kids are able to say everything she did, it was worthy. And she didn't wait, you know, she didn't wait to say, okay, I've passed and I've left it behind. No, she lived her legacy now.

Nicole Walters, always a pleasure. Thank you so much for joining us today.

Thanks for having me, Ashley.

Hey, guys. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. We hope that you loved it. Don't forget to hit subscribe and leave a rating and review down below for a chance to be one of our featured listeners each and every week. For more information on our spirit of community over competition and how to access complete show notes and bonus downloads from our guests, head on over to the boutiquehub.com and join the community. We'll see you next week.

Sam.