#746: How Knowing Your Customer Starts With Knowing Yourself

Business can be a lonely game, but it doesn't have to be. Welcome to Boutique Chat where we explore community over competition and how to scale your company with the balance and the happiness that we all seek. We'll hear from product based businesses of all types, retailers, e commerce and wholesale brands, along with industry experts shaping the future of our industry. I'm your host Ashley Alderson from the Boutique Hub and and I can't wait to chat. Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast this week. I have been looking forward to this episode. I have to be honest, Christy, when we get started, I hope everyone who's listening today is prepared for today. Because this is going to be an episode that probably touches a lot of heartstrings in a very deeply personal way and it's also going to be very tactical. We're going to bring you both, we're going to bring you tactics and strategy, but also I think a bigger conversation that goes beyond business. So I'm so glad that you're here and willing to, to share your story and have this conversation with me. So let's jump right into it.

Should we excited when you invited me? So.

Oh my gosh. Well, in case anyone doesn't know, Christy was on stage at Summit doing a photography workshop, opposing workshop for photography. And it was awesome. We had amazing feedback and reviews. So I'm so glad you did that. And then I was like, okay, I love modeling this up.

I loved it. Yes.

It's going to be so good. All right, so let's get into it. Take me back. You know, everyone has an origin story how you were led to this industry. Where did it start for you?

So I actually have a nursing degree. That's what I did by trade. And then I had, I always knew that I was supposed to be something artsy instead, but I grew up in the south and my, it was back before the Internet was really accessible to us. And so my high school counselor was like, okay, girly, you are a good Southern Christian girl. Which one are you going to be, a teacher or a nurse? And I was like, nurse, I guess. So I went to nursing school and I liked it and I was good at it, but it was not something that like made me feel joyful. And then I knew it was like super fulfilling for me. And so while I was at the hospital that I worked at, I actually started a photography business. So that's kind of where my background in photography comes in. I grew that business super fast. We were a six figure international award winning business within nine months of starting that business, it was amazing. I loved it, and everything was going great. And then I had children, and, you know, that changes life. I had my two older kids, and then it was a few years in between when I had my two younger kids. And those two younger kids came along at 39 and 40 years old. And the second one came along in April of 2020. And as you know, that was a really rough year for everybody with the pandemic. And I'm sure, you know, as a mom, like, when you have a baby, it's isolating on its own. Pandemic into that, it's really isolating. But for me, I had a level of isolation that most people don't deal with, and that is that I was living in an abusive situation. My husband was not a good person toward me and toward my older two children. It was really hard. It was really hard. I felt really alone. My family doesn't live here. We're alone. We only had our church, and at that time, no one was meeting. You know, it was. It was hard. It was. We were all crammed into this house. I'm trying to do, you know, online school with my older two kids, and I've got a one year old and a newborn in my lap, and I was in pajamas and I was spit up on and my hair was in a bun and I looked like a hot mess every day. And I was just surviving, right? And so I was like, what am I gonna do with myself? I don't know what to do. My daughter started to grow, and I still was just in this phase. I felt like I was in a fog for forever. First of all, the newborn fog, but then the. The abusive fog, and it was just like I didn't know who I was. I completely lost myself in that. In that part of my life. But my daughter started to grow, and there was this brand that I really loved. It was called Matilda Jane. It was a girl's clothing brand. Super whimsical and fun, bright, colorful, like, really similar. I love color if you ever seen me, you know that. Yeah. So I wanted to. To get those clothes for her. Well, I wanted to buy like $700 a month worth of clothes. And I knew that that wasn't going to fly. So my girlfriend was like, it was direct sales company. She was like, why don't you try having a party and see how it goes? Well, I sold $3,000 at my party. So she was like, well, why being a consultant? And I was like, okay. So I did. And it went really well. I was able to grow. I think the lowest month that I ever had after that month was 6k. And I grew that up to 20k a month. So from my house, in my pajamas, in a Facebook group, I didn't have like, I mean, it was a Matilda Jane website. I didn't have like my own, you know. So anyways, it was just with that and then, so that's kind of how I started with it. And then what happened was Matilda Jane actually started a women's brand called Good Heart. And it was kind of like their sister brand. It was more trendy. Like they had some women's clothes, but it was more whimsical and not quite as adult looking as I wanted to be. And so some cute mommy and me matches. But outside of that, I wanted to look like a put together lady. And so anyways, I started having to model those clothes, right? And because if I was going to sell them to my friends, they wanted to see me in the clothes. And so I started having to put on makeup and I started having to do my hair again and I put on the clothes and the whole thing. And I noticed that I started to feel actually more confident in myself when I did that. And for the first time in a really long time, I caught a glimpse of that girl that, that I remember being the cool girl, the girl that was confident, the girl that hadn't had her, her like whole self stripped away by somebody else at that point. And I was like, wow, I remember her. She's awesome. And that was the first little glimmer. And so when Matilda Jane grew like it did for me, to the 20k a month, I was at a point where, okay, I'm going to be able to leave this relationship, I'm going to be able to leave this house. We're going to get out of here. It's going to be great. And then In December of 22, it suddenly we got on a Facebook zoom, or I mean on a zoom. And we got told by reading a letter from our CEO that it was closing and that was it. We had seven hours to get everything we needed out of our back office and any sales that we were going to get. And I was just devastated. And everybody was, the whole company, I mean, we were all shocked, you know. And I remember crying my eyes out on the live, telling my people, you know, this is the last chance you get to support me on and on. I never got paid for any of that. Never got paid for December at all, which sucked because we had a release at the beginning of that month. And I did well at that release. But everybody was crying about the clothes, which, like, I said, I was sad about. I wanted my little girl to wear these. I have three boys, and all this brown and blue and gray. And then finally, my little girl and all of her pretty color. And I was excited about that. But, yeah, it was sad to lose the clothes, but for me, it was way bigger than that. Like, at that moment, I felt like I. I completely lost my freedom, and that was devastating. I didn't know what I was going to do. I was like, oh, my God. Like, I. I have to figure this out right now. I'm going to start my own. I'm just going to start my own. So in January, I went to market, and I went up to the 13th floor because I thought I would start with accessories for whatever reason, that that would be safe. And so I ended up in my girl in la, and Jenny Stilley, like, was talking to me. She's so sweet. And I was crying my eyes out to this woman. I never met her before. And because I was just overwhelmed, I. First of all, when you walk into market for the first time, like, that's a scary thing. It's huge. It's very overwhelming. And she's like, you know what? Let me take you over here to meet these girls. And she took me to the Boutique Hub, and that's where you guys came in. And it was awesome. I went and I bought my first inventory. It was awful inventory. I would never buy it now, but I didn't give myself time to research. I didn't know who I wanted to be. I didn't even totally know who I was still. I was still, like, trying to get there in my own mind. And so I bought stuff that I thought was safe, that I could sell. And it was so bad. It was. I could not get passionate about it. I sold Matilda Jane so well, because I loved it, right? And I. People loved it because of me. They were like, oh, my God, this is so cute. Christy says it's the best thing. I gotta get it. And so that's what happened. But I was like, oh, they got this shirt. Okay, all right. Like, I mean, it'll cover your boobs or whatever, but, like, cute girl. It was on sale. It was on sale from the vendor for a reason. And so, anyway, not all sales are bad, but you know what I'm saying. So, yeah, it was that. That's how it happened. And. And so after that, I took a step back for a minute, and I went to market in Nashville in That April, I did not buy anything. I touched every piece of fabric in that place. I looked at. I. I think I probably took 2, 000 pictures on my phone. And I went home and I started putting things together into like, storyboards and collages. And I tried to figure out, okay, who do I want to be? Who is my girl? And what I figured out was, my girl is me. Which it is for a lot of us, right? My girl is me. My girl is me. The lady who, who, she forgot who she was. She had kids, she forgot who she was. She doesn't have to have that layer of the husband and all that, because we all go through that after we have kids. You know, I say this all the time when I have women who come to my booth. I have a mobile boutique as well. And I talk to talk about this at pop ups all the time because they're like, well, you can wear whatever you want. You're small, you can do it up. And I'm like, you know what, girl? I have lost weight. And I'm like, whatever. But it's soft under here. It's not cute. I don't want everybody to know about that. But I can still wear cute things and I can still feel good about myself, and so can those women. And I have seen it so many times. Women come out of my dressing room because I send them in there with stuff that they would never pick up. I'm like, let's go in here and play dress up for a minute. Just humor me, please. And they walk out and they're just like. Their whole face is different, they walk different, they're taller, they just like, they. You can tell that they remember who that girl was. And that's what it's about for me at this point. Oh, my gosh. Okay.

We have a lot to unpack because that was, that was a whole keynote on its own. And I absolutely loved all of it. But there's so many things that we're going to unpack. First things first, you. I mean, you mentioned your, your family, your relationship, your husband's relationship, and I'm going to come back to that. I don't want to brush over that, but I want to have a whole conversation just on that. But I do want to come back to, you know, moving from mlm, which a lot of people do move from MLM into owning their own business and that transition and going to market. God bless Jenny Stilley. Those of you who know Jenny Stilley and my girl in la, I mean, you landed. That's like such a godwink, in my opinion.

It was.

Landed in a perfect spot. She is incredible. She's got one of the biggest hearts out of anyone I know. And she just would. You know, you could cry to her 24 7. You call her in the middle of the night and she would sit on the phone with you.

She would. She would. She took me to booth because I was like, I don't even know who I like. She was like, what do you like? I like color. Okay, come with me. Yeah. I was like, what do you do when you buy? How do you look for collection? She's like, come with me. Yeah.

She's like, oh, man, you landed in the perfect spot. That's what Community over competition is all about. Like, that's the mission of the Hub. So I am, like, just so grateful for hearing that part of the story.

That was huge for me, because part of the MLM thing was I did have that community. Yeah. Women, the sisterhood. I know it sounds cheesy, and I know it sounds cliche, but it's true if you really like the product. I didn't really build a big team. Most of my income was from my sales, which was fine with me. I didn't want to drag people along. I did have a few people, but, you know, that wasn't my focus. But I did have people above me that when I. Because they knew. They knew my situation. They knew I had accountability groups. They knew, and they knew when I would get into my own head, when I would get negative, when he was like, you're a joke. You're whatever. The negativity that came from him was horrible. And that's really hard on your mindset. It's really hard to grow when you've got somebody pushing you down. The whole time, those women pulled me up. They were like, christie, what are you going to do to meet the goal this month? Because I was winning. I mean, I was the girl going on the trips. I was top 1% of the company. Like, I was that person that people think isn't real. It's real. I did it. And I didn't have a team. I did it on my own. And so I was so grateful when I found the Hub, because I finally had those sisters again. I love that. I love that about this group.

Yeah. Oh, thank you. I. Me too. Me too. That's why it exists. But, I mean, I think there's just so much to the power of leaning into a community. And, I mean, the goal, obviously, you know, from the podcast community, but, like, literally in membership at the hub. Like, that is the goal that everybody has somebody where you have accountability in all of those things that are happening, good, bad, and indifferent. So the important part about that is when you figured out who your ideal customer was. And I think a lot of people struggle with that. You know, oh, is it me? Am I really buying for somebody like me, or is it somebody else but like you, like, that is what sells. People want to do business with people like you. And especially, you know, the experience that you just talked through. I mean, this is going to continue to happen time and time again. Women aren't going to stop having babies, and every time they do, the body changes, your hormones change, your self perception changes, and you got to do something about it. So tell me about, how did you continue to lean into that once you realize, like, oh, it's me, I bought some crap inventory to start, but then I had to, like, reevaluate and reinvest in order to be who you are today. Tell me more about unveiling that ideal customer.

Yeah. So like I said, I went home and I started making the boards, and I was, you know, deciding what I was going to get. I went ahead and bought my inventory then, and I started my first collection, and it was just like, I hit the ground running. And like I said, with my situation with my husband, it was a different situation than a lot of people have. For me, it was, I have to make this work. This is my plan. I don't plan to go back to nursing. I want to be home with my kids. I want to be all their ball games. I want to be at all the things. So that wasn't an option for me. The option was, this is going to work. Plus, this made me feel happy. It made me feel fulfilled. So that's what I wanted to do. And even him, like, I remember when I was with Matilda Jane, he was like, why don't you start your own thing? Why are you making all this money for all these people? They're just taking advantage of you, blah, blah, blah. Well, then I started my own thing. And he's like, why are you doing this? You're such a loser. I'm just like, you can't win with somebody like that, you know? And so. And like I said, it was hard because he is in the background being super negative. So I had to be my own cheerleader for a long time. But one of the biggest things that propelled me forward, I feel like in that moment was I decided to. I had to pivot. First of all, I learned That I wasn't gonna be able to do this in a Facebook group anymore. People knew the Matilda Jane name, and that's why they bought it. People didn't know me like, they. My customers knew of me, but they didn't really know me, and they didn't know my brand and what I was standing for and all that at that point. So I joined a networking group called Little Black Book Women in Business. It's incredible. It's here in St. Louis and this whole surrounding area and those women. It's not like a networking group where you have, like, I have to give so many referrals a week or I have to do this or that. It is actually. It's similar to the Hub. I feel like it's a group of women that we. We all support each other, but we also. There's a lot of education and that sort of thing that happens in that group. That group really helped push me forward. They gave me a lot of confidence. They gave me a lot of ideas that I wouldn't have thought of for, you know, how to get in front of new people. I joined the chamber and did all that, But I really think that the networking group is what pushed me forward the most. It got me out of my bubble of being I have to do this in a Facebook group and really made me think about things from a different perspective. And I think that's super important because it's constantly happening in this space, in this retail space, because even now, I mean, you know, we've got everything in the world happening. Tariffs and no tariffs and tariffs, and it's like, what are we going to do? You know, we're figuring it out. You have to figure it out. And so I think the biggest part is you have to be able to pivot. If you're going to stay stuck doing the exact same thing, then you can't complain, right? You can't complain. If you want to complain, go plank, complain for, like, five minutes, and then move the hell on, because you got to move on. Like, you have to pivot. And I remember seeing people that were, like, where I wanted to be, and now I'm where those people were then, and now they're way further, you know, And I want to be there, but, like, I watch people and I get ideas from other people, but ultimately, I have to figure out what works for me and my customer. And like you said, there's always going to be women having babies, and I lean into that because I don't go into this thinking I want to make a sale I go into this thinking, I want to make her feel amazing. I want to make her feel amazing. I want her to feel like I felt when I walked out and saw myself. I remember I did the first photo shoot of myself with my hair and makeup done in a long time. I weighed probably 50 pounds more than I do right now, but I still felt so pretty.

Yeah.

It was like I felt like me again. You know what I mean? It's just a fog that you can't really explain if you haven't been through it. So that's why it's such a big deal that it is me, because I've lived it. I know what that woman is feeling. I know when she looks down at her belly, she's like, oh, yeah, that's not cute, you know, but it's part of me. And my body did this amazing thing four times. So, like, I shouldn't be ashamed of it. Yeah. But I still want to be cute. So, I mean, and that.

That, that's what we do, like, in apparel. That is what you do, is you serve women and you cover all the lumps and the bumps and the things they don't want to show. And if they want to show it, more power to them, go ahead, sister. You can help build all the confidence in the world. Hey, are you on the list yet? I know you want to be on this list. You don't want to miss this list because we are deep diving into your business and college style. Not 101 style. Not 301 style. 501 style. And that is inside of our college level course for boutique owners called Retail boot Camp. Now, many of you may have already taken retail bootcamp because the cool part about this course is not only do you get to watch it at your leisure, but then join us for 14 weeks of live group coaching twice a year. That's 28 weeks of live group coaching every single year. Once you're inside a retail bootcamp, you're always inside. So you get that same two semesters of group coaching every single year for as long as you want to Join us this year inside of Retail boot Camp, I can't wait to go back to deep dive into the six layers of your business strategically, step by step. What do you need to grow before you're ready for the Facebook ads and digital traffic, which we definitely cover. First, we have to make sure, how's your pricing? How's your profit? How's your inventory? How's your team management? We're going into literally every single topic of Your business throughout retail boot camp. So it only opens twice a year, January and June. Make sure you're on the wait list again. Once you get in, you're in for life. Why didn't college allow us to do that?

Right?

Whatever happened to all that college debt we had? That was silly. I can make way better use of your time inside of retail bootcamp. So I hope you're on the list. Get on the waitlist right now. So you're the first to know. I can't wait to see you inside of retail bootcamp. Let me transition this to ask you about, like, the posing and the photography piece of it, because I think, you know, you're selling the product to help them dress and feel the part. But I think the other part about what you do and what everyone who's listening does as a business owner is there's also the confidence of you showing up on camera and you being incredibly authentic with like, hey, here's who I am. Here's what I'm going through. Here's how I make myself feel pretty, even with underneath being a wreck or even with my marriage being a wreck or whatever, you know, like, I'm still able to show up. And if I can do it, you can do it too. The clothes are just one half of the equation, but it's you actually showing up and your mindset that is the other. So how can those listening, yes, they can buy the clothes. Yes, they can sell that equation. Yes, they can know their customer. How do they get brave enough to show up in the way that you showed up when times were the hardest.

Man, how do you get brave enough? I mean, you just have to do it. Like, you can't sit there and think about it. You can. What if your life away. Right now, we are in the thick of things. I, you know, we've got lawyers in place. I'm getting a new house. We're moving on. Like, things are in the thick of it right now. And. But I have to do it. Like, I can't just stop and install myself. Like, I will be in my own way if I were to let it happen. I could totally be in my own way. But I know this is how I'm going to move forward with my family. This is what's going to keep us safe. Because this. So it's for me, it's bigger. It's bigger than it is for a lot of people. But also, it's not. I mean, this is how people feed their families, you know, like, okay, what are you gonna do? Let little Timmy starve. No, you're gonna figure it out, right? And you don't necessarily have to jump ship. I mean, if it's time for that, then maybe it's time for that. But, like, I feel like so many people probably say, well, maybe I should just quit, or maybe you should just think of something else. Pivot girl move. You just have to do it. You have to do it regardless. I mean, I know that even my hus. He's got some. Some different things that he's working on. He's like, I'm just not motivated. And I'm like, you can't really rely on your motivation. You just have to rely on your pull it from your gut and get up and go. Yeah, you just have to. And then once you start going, for me, once I start going, I do feel better again. It makes me feel better, and that makes me move forward in other ways. So if I were just, you know, sitting there, not doing anything, well, I'm going to sit there and not do anything, and I'm gonna feel sorry for myself, and I could just feel really sorry for my. I mean, it sucks around here sometimes. You know, it's hard. We're still, like, living with this and still trying to navigate some of the abusive situations and the negativity. And I can't let that. I just can't let it get into my brain. I. I tell my. You know what? I'll tell you this. So when my kids were little, the older two especially, I don't do it as much now, and I should. When they were little, before we would get on the bus for school, we would stand at the door waiting for the bus. It's cold. We live in the Midwest. It's cold. I'm from the south, and So I think St. Louis is, like, freezing. But anyway, so we wouldn't stand outside of the bus. We'd stand in the door, and I would stand there and make them say, I love myself. I'm happy with myself. I'm a great friend. I'm a great student. I'm a great person. I'm this. I'm that. All these positive affirmations. And one day my oldest said, mama, why do you make me say those things to myself? And I said, buddy, I say it because the world is full of people who are going to lie to your face, and you have to tell yourself the truth. And this is the truth. This right here is the truth. So whenever we're feeling down and we're feeling like we can't do it, that is the world telling us. It is. It is the world telling us, because we know what we're capable. Capable of. Right. We have to tell ourselves the truth. We're the only people that are going to do it. I mean, hopefully you've got a partner in your life that will do it for you, too, and some close friends, but for the most part, very few people are going to tell you the whole truth. Right. Yeah. You got to give it to yourself. So, I don't know, maybe read some mindset books or listen to this and get some inspiration. I don't know. I mean, I listen to the podcast and I definitely get inspired. So you got to surround yourself. It's those same thing. Those five people that you surround yourself with or who you're going to be like, pick those people wisely, girlfriend, because it's true.

It's so true.

Negativity. Well, guess what you're gonna have. Yeah, you're all in a group complaining. Guess what you're gonna have. You know what my me and my accountability partner do? I'm like, hey, girl, how are we gonna hit 40k at this event? What are we doing? Let's go count some ideas. You know, like, I don't know if I'm gonna do that or not. Probably because I said I am, but, you know.

Yeah, well, we could just stop the podcast right now, because I could just go on a tangent talking about this, because whatever you say, it's like the words I am.

Right?

And you know this. We've talked about this in retail boot camp, but whatever you say after I am becomes your reality, it does your brain.

It's like literal psychology. Let me tell you, I have learned a lot about psychology with. With this situation that I've been in about, because my husband's like, well, why did you stay, Christy? Well, there's a whole crapload of psychology around why I stayed because I thought you were a good person. Because, I mean, it goes on and on, on trauma bonds. Like, there's a lot of wording that I won't get into. But, yeah, what you tell yourself is reality because you believe it. You gotta believe the truth. And the truth is we are all capable. That is done it once, you can do it again. Right?

So, so true. I think about this, too. It's. It's the words that you're saying, right? And the truth that you're saying to yourself. And you literally have to say it out loud to yourself. Like, what you did with your kids is beautiful. Because it's one thing to think it's right. And a negative thought is seven times more positive or more powerful than a positive one. Right. But a spoken word is 10 times more powerful than a thought. So you think about, like, the negativity that not only goes through our brain, but comes out our mouth so often, but when you can at least neutralize it and stop it. But better yet, when you can replace it with a spoken word, that is the truth and that is positive. Wow. Does that have a massive impact? Right? 70 times more impact. So that. And an object in motion stays in motion. So to your point, get up off the couch.

Momentum.

Figure something out. And an object, emotion is going to create more momentum in your life, in your mindset, in your health, and your happiness. Figure it out and do the thing. So how do you, you know when you're in that moment, you're stuck. When you're in a moment that's dark and it's heavy and you're like, I don't want to get up off this couch, what do you do and what do you say to force yourself back into motion?

So for me right now, I. I have been horrible in the past about reaching out to people and saying, I need help. Right now I'm in therapy, of course, and I. I don't do that anymore. My husband used to actually make me feel guilty about that. He was like, you're just crying to your friends, your friend. You only talk to your friends because they're helpful to you, like, you're not really a good friend. And I. I knew that wasn't the truth in my head, but getting my heart in my head to line up was hard. So for me, it is about reaching out. At this point, I have to not just sit there by myself because I can start to go down a spiral. I mean, it's easy when you're in an abusive situation and you hear so much negativity and so much like, you're a loser type mentality. I mean, you can go down real quick, real quick, especially from somebody that you love or you know that you've loved, and that's supposed to be your support person. But even if you're just by yourself and you're not dealing with that, you can go down a rabbit hole real quick, and you can, you know, you can get on the complaint train or whatever with everybody else that's in the group. You got to find somebody who's positive and more of an accountability partner that's going to push you up instead of holding you down. And you got to reach out to that person. So that's what I do. I reach out. There's a couple of friends that I'm really close with that I feel like I can reach out to. And then, to be honest with you, I reach out to my therapist. I have an amazing therapist at this point. I was able to receive a therapist through a domestic violence place here and completely on scholarship, which is amazing for me. Yeah. And because my situation's a little bit differently, I am able to text her, like, in the middle of the week. And she has talked me off of a couple of ledges. But she told me one thing that might help people. She made me. So whenever I'm feeling really like I'm going down the hole, she's like, I want you to tell me five things that you love about your kids. And so I'll tell her those. And then tell me four things that you see right now. So I'll tell her those. Tell me three things you smell right now. I'll tell her those. Tell me two things you love about yourself right now. I'll tell her those, and on and on until you get to one. And usually by then, you're. You've reset your. Your brain. And so then she tells me later. Now, those three or four things, whatever I think it was three things is what. When I told her what I loved about myself, she told me to go get some sticky notes and put them on my mirror, and every time one of those things, like, I represented one of those things, write it on there. So I'm loyal was one of them. Right. How was lie loyal that day? I am loving how was I loving that day or whatever so that I can remember the truth. We always have to come back to what is the truth.

Wow.

That to yourself. So that exercise, I have used it over and over since she taught it to me. Yeah. And. Yeah. So I go back to those three things. The other one was I'm considerate. So. So, you know, I notice when other people aren't those things to me, which so clearly they're important to me, but I also need to notice when I am those things.

Right.

That is the truth about me.

That is the truth. How do you also do exercises like that in a situation you're in with your kids? Your kids are clearly going through, you know, this entire separation at the same time. You are. How. How do you handle it with them?

I mean, I have done the same thing with them. I've learned to say. Because I realize, you know, what's happening is they're completely. Their emotions are Completely dysregulated. And they don't know how to get them in check either. I mean, if I don't know how to get them in check as a grown person, like, how can I expect my kids to get them in check? So I talk calmly to them. We get down on their level. I talk calmly to them, I hold them. I've learned, like, what each of them likes. Do they like me to hold them? Do they like space? Whatever it is. But I always bring it back to, let's talk about the truth. So, you know, what are three things that you love about yourself? What are two things that, that has talked them off the ledge? A lot of deep breathing exercises, you know, to get us through. Because those things literally, like, they reset your brain. It's, it's, it's proven, like, they reset your brain so you're able to get yourself out of those funks. You just have to have some tools in your toolbox to do it. And those are the. And it sounds so dumb. It's just like, take deep breaths. Okay. But it really is like, count as you do it and really do it. Don't be like, okay, I took a deep breath. Like, you really have to be intentional. Yeah. And as you're doing it, just thinking, you know, calming, positive thoughts and just really relaxing yourself. I mean, I was listening to something the other day and, and the person was like, okay, notice how tense your body is. And I just remember being like, you know, I didn't realize I was tense until the person said it. And then I was like, oh, my God, no wonder my arms are so sore all the time. I'm like, you know, just, yeah, over here. But. And there's things that our bodies, we do as a response to different triggers in our life or whatever that we don't even realize that we're doing. But it's being aware of yourself and being aware of how to. What makes you get your brain to, to shift back into, oh, we're okay, we're okay, everything's okay. Yeah. Yeah.

How do you do that in relation to your business? Because I know I will just speak even from my own, My marriage. Like, if things are going well in my marriage, it's really hard for me to think about things going well in the business. Like, I have a hard time putting energy and focus into the business when I'm struggling with this other thing. And I hear that from other people a lot too. Like, ah, the business. Like, I almost put it on a shelf for a minute because I'm so Busy, like in fight or flight mode over here. So what exercises do you do to allow you to still. Because you've. You got to put food on the table. You gotta keep showing up. How do you do both?

Right. For me, again, that's reaching out to people and being like, okay, listen, I'm struggling right now. Do you have any ideas? Like, let's talk through what's happening with me. The networking group has been essential for me in that specifically. There's one girl that's in there. She's an operational strategist coach, and she is one of my good friends at this point. She sat with me at my dining room table, and I just, like, poured my guts out one day. I was like, no money. You know, and I have. And I need to sell inventory and I need to do this and that. And she's like, okay, girl, what if we do X, Y and Z? So sometimes you just got to get into a group of people that. That are going to help give you ideas, and you have to be open to them, too. That's the other thing. You can't just be like, well, that's not going to work. Because. Because I hear that a lot, you know, and I could say that, too. I could be like, well, that's not going to work. Well, how do you know it's not going to work? Do you really know it's not going to work or you just think it's not going to work? Because let me tell you, some things that I thought were not going to work. They worked. Yeah. Would I have known if I didn't try? No. You know, and it doesn't have to be like some whole. Write your entire whole business plan over and do something completely wild like, you know, throw a party at your house and serve. And I had a lady come and teach us how to do charcuterie.

Awesome.

Yeah. We sold clothes. I had a fashion show down my stairwell. You know, like, action. I work out of my house, you know, and then I have my trailer, but at that time, I didn't have the trailer. So I worked out of my house. So, like, literally that my upper floor of my house was a whole entire, like, it looked like a clothing explosion. There was. One of the girls was up there, like, organizing the women. We had one lady down here who is an emcee. We had the models. They came down, they went back up. Some man came and asked us to move our cars in the middle of it. It was. It was awesome, you know, and I was just like, oh, my gosh. But it was great, people. We had so much fun. The women had fun. I think that's another thing that we talk about in the Hub a lot is give people an experience. I didn't put anything on sale that night. Not one thing was on sale. It was all full price, and people bought because they were having a good time.

Yeah. You know, it's all about the experience, and that's what makes the memory, too. People don't remember what they bought from you that night, but they remember you. They remember how you made them feel. They remember the experience, all of that.

They remember. Yeah, it was fun.

It's so good. And all of that action builds confidence at the end of the day. So let. Let's go back to, you know, when you were on stage at Summit and you were giving a workshop on posing. Right. Confident poses in front of the camera. Let's relive a few of those. Give me some of your best tips for those who are listening. And they're like, I need help. I don't like being in front of the camera. What are some great poses they can start with?

Okay, so first of all, I would say definitely. People ask me all the time if I use my professional camera for my pictures. I do not. I use an iPhone. I also use a little screen that I can attach to the back of it so I can use the back camera that I can see what I'm doing, because for me, it's a little bit clearer. I've used the front camera plenty of times and still gotten great photos. So, you know, that's totally here or there. But to be able to see yourself is a huge thing, for sure. But so many people, they don't know how to stand, and they just, like, kind of stand straight forward and really and truly, like, that just makes us all look like one big block, rectangular block. So just turning your body is a huge deal. Putting one foot closer to the camera than the other and shifting your weight away. So, like, if you're standing here, turn away. Turn your head the opposite way of your chest. Okay. And then put one foot in front of the other and put your weight on your back foot so your butt is gonna go that way backwards.

Hey.

Okay, let me get up and show you.

You guys better watch this episode on YouTube right now. I'm telling you, Chrissy's putting on a workshop.

Okay. Workshop. So, all right, look, this is the perfect scenario. I have a window right here. Because people are always like, what equipment do I need? You need a freaking window. That's what you need. Okay, here's my window. So here's the dress I want to sell you. Yep. Turn my dress this way, right? And I'm going to hold it out over here. I always say to make triangles, so my address already kind of looks like a triangle. I just made a bigger one. Right. Here's another triangle. My head is making an angle.

Like, every.

If you make angles, it makes things look more pleasing. Okay, you can do this. You can do this. You can put your hands in your pockets. You should if there are pockets, because people want to know that. Right. Hands in your pockets. Play with your hair. This is an angle. Make as many angles as you can. I'm even doing it with my legs subconsciously, you know, you can't see my legs in this dress, but, like, bring your leg over, you know? Or like I said, put one foot forward and push my hips back. Like. Okay. Which part of me looks big right now? Which part of me looks small right now?

Right?

Yeah. Showed you. Like, is this cute? Do you think I'm gonna sell this dress? No. Yeah, yeah. So just push the parts of you away. And then also just remember, like, I'm super conscious of this part of my body, so I purchase things that are intentionally flowy. However, I don't want to look pregnant.

Yeah.

You know, so, like, just be conscious of when you're shopping, that you're shopping for things like that. And then just when you're photographing, look at yourself. Really look at yourself and use your light to your best advantage. Your light is probably more important than the angles, to be honest with you.

I think so, too.

Crappy light. It's gonna look bad no matter if I'm standing there looking cute as could be or not, because no one's gonna be able to see me. And you don't need fancy equipment. You need a phone and a window.

Yeah, I love that. Phone, window, good light. The other thing, too, though, that you do well, Chrissy, like, even just looking at your outfit today, it's merchandised. You know, like, you've layered your necklaces, you have earrings, you've got watches, you've got bracelets. Like, it's layered and it's merchandise together. And I think sometimes I see people that are in such a rush to take photos that it's like, it's top and a bottom. Well, no, show me more than that. I want a top, a bottom, accessories, a bag, a cup. Show me the full look.

Yeah. Choose whatever. Yeah. And then you can do the whole, you know, add the whole outfit to cart or whatever. Afterward, you know, shop Christie's look. That's on my website. Shop Christie's look. You know, because I do want to sell more than one piece. Those are those add ons. These are. And I talk about like these right here, my number one selling earrings. Because they go with everything. I wear them with everything. They're right next to my checkout counter. When people check out, they're such an easy add on because I'm like, ah, do you need this? This is, is the most fabulous earring ever. They go with everything. And they do. I mean, I'm not just saying that. They really do. I wear them all the time and they're my favorite. But you're right, I am very particular when I do set up for the photo shoot. You know, I have my rack set up with the order that I'm going to do things in. But these bracelets are literally hanging on the, on the hanger. The earrings are. I have like clothes clips, clothesline clips. I clip them to the hanger. So I know this is what's going with what. Because if you don't do that stuff ahead of time too. I used to not do it ahead of time. I'd be like, what earrings are we going to wear? That just takes time. And then that's why people don't do it because they're, they're in a rush, they don't have time. They're running out of light. Their photographers charging them too much, an hour, whatever. It is like they don't have time to sit there and figure those details out. Figure all that out on the front end. You'll make your life a lot easier. Yeah.

Oh, this is so helpful. And literally everybody who is listening can take advantage of this. Everybody who is listening can do this. Even if you have a home and gift store, even if you sell not even clothing, like, I think it's still important because you as the business owner are still the face of your brand.

You are. I mean, I, I'll tell you something. I, when I had my first baby, I took a picture of the pregnancy test and there was like a beautiful candle behind it. There was, it was very, very merchandise pregnancy test. If you were selling pregnancy tests, I totally would buy it because of the way I displayed it. It doesn't have to be closed. Yeah. It doesn't. Just think about. And then for that, for like home and gift, I would think about creating layers. And then for me and my phone personally, I would put it on portrait mode for sure. I usually do that myself. Even when I'm just doing pictures of myself for my clothing. I'll put it on portrait mode so that the background is kind of blurred out. Yeah. But if I were doing, you know, merchandise, I would put whatever it is that I really want to showcase right there in the front and then. But I would have it layered with some. Because texture makes things more interesting. You don't want it to be, like, completely busy, but a little something back there. But blur it out so that it's not, you know, competing with your product, but to give it some color and some interest, because otherwise it just looks like a standard picture from the company. Right. On the. The white background. Boring thing. Right.

It doesn't make it interesting. It's just like, okay, there's another product.

Right.

But I want to have more to look at. Yeah, I totally.

And that. Or like you said, you know, throw it in a lifestyle shoot holding your cup or your, you know, you're hanging up your new Christmas ornament or whatever it is. Right.

What about. I mean, again, going back to. Because you were with Matilda Jane. How are those who are listening that sell children's clothes? How can they best utilize lighting, camera angles, photography for children's pieces?

So, for me, it was the best when I got my daughter involved and we did pictures with her in it. I know sometimes it's hard to find kids to photograph, but I feel like people wanted to see it on a real person. And for me, also the biggest seller for me, when I was. Because people are so concerned with kids, especially about sizing, because, you know, they vary wildly from brand to brand. So whenever I would post a picture of her, I would say, Emmy is 2 years old. She weighs 24 pounds, and she's, you know, however tall, this many inches tall. I put that on every single post. I put that on every single description, that of me now, my height, my weight, my bra size, it's all there.

All of it.

I'm so transparent. And my customers love that because they're like, oh, well, Christie's wearing a smaller medium. I know that I'll be whatever. So people want that confidence when they shop, even with kids, especially if you're selling a nicer boutique piece. You know, I mean, you're not going to pay $56 for a dress for your daughter. And then you're like, oh, it's not gonna fit, you know, or. And then the hassle of sending it back. I know that most people do have hopefully, return policies, but if they, you know, even if they do, people don't want to deal with that, like, we're busy. I hate sending stuff back. You know, it's just another thing that I have to add to my to do list. So. So that. So making sure you have that. And then I know kids are wild. Like, sometimes I just wanted to be like, Emmy, could you please just hold still? You have to have patience with your little models. But when you can't do that, get a mannequin. Get a mannequin out and throw it in front of the window just like you would a model and photograph it from. And don't just take one picture. Turn that thing around. You know, get close up. Get the fabric. Get the cute little button detail or the rick rack or whatever it is that you're trying to show up. Make sure that people can see it. That's the other thing is, I know when Matilda Jane closed, there were several people that, like, started their own brand. And I actually am one of those people. I started drawing designs. And that is coming. It's coming. I'm so excited for it. Emmy Grace Designs is coming. That's my daughter. But, yeah, they. They would take this picture. They would take, like, one picture of the girl, and you could see the whole outfit. But, like, I couldn't really tell what the print was, you know, because it's so far back. Like, get a close up. Get a nice close up because people want to know. Even for me now, like, I would definitely get a major close up of this pretty embroidery and this print. It's a beautiful print. But if I'm way back here, like, people can't see that. They can see, oh, that's a pretty dress. But they can't really see what they're getting. Yeah, multiple. Yeah, Get a nice close up of the print, too. And you can do that either on your model or you can do it on a flat light. When I do it on the model, I usually try to include some piece of their body. So, like, if I were doing it with this dress, I would, like, have my hand in there somehow, just so they can see that this is a person or whatever. And then it gives it a little bit of motion because you can see, like, the way this is draping in the shadows. Yeah. So, yeah, I would do the same thing with a kid. But if you don't have models, definitely get your mannequins out and turn them around and get it from all angles, just like you would if a person was standing there. You're not going to just take a picture of them looking cute three different ways. Like this. You know you want, turn them sideways and get the back and get the, the pockets that there are, get the detail of the fabric and all of that. Any details that are unique, get that for sure.

Absolutely. Well, Christy, this is awesome. I hope that people walked away today with a ton of notes on all the camera angles of confidence. But more importantly, I. I hope they walked away hearing your story and if they're in a situation that you have been in, I hope they find some confidence and just knowing they're not alone and somebody they can reach out to.

That is so big. Knowing that you're not alone is so big. Yeah. And I'm happy to talk to anybody if you're ever in a position where you need to just talk a crime here.

So I love that. Well, Chrissy, we're going to link up your information, your website, your contact information, also all the domestic abuse hotlines. We're going to link all of that information up as well in the show notes today and any other resources you send me, I will. I'll put it in the show notes for everybody. But Chrissy, thank you for being a light into this world and thank you for being a light into the hub community and sharing the way that you do and just being an example for others. I know you've been going through it. You've been going through the thick of it. You're a big part of taking our planner photos. I don't think everybody knows that, but you were the face in a lot of our planner photos and, and we're so grateful that you did that for us as well. So thank you for your time today and all that you do inside of the hub community.

I'm so excited. Thank you for having me.

Thanks for listening, guys. I hope you took away all kinds of nuggets and new ideas from this week's episode. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a rating and review. We love to hear your feedback and give you a chance to be featured on the show each and every week.

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