Dr Greg Bahnsen - Mouth Control: The Fool's Tools (Part 6)

This recording has been released into the public domain by the Bonson Institute, where we aim to bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

This morning I'd like to speak to you about the fool's tools. And we begin our reading in God's word in the book of proverbs at the 17th chapter, verses 4 and 9. In continuing with a few other passages from the Same book, Proverbs 17, at the fourth verse, Hear this to you as God's very word. An evildoer gives heed to wicked lips, and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue. The ninth verse. He that covers a transgression seeks love. But he that harps on a matter separates best friends. Turn to the 25th chapter, verses 9 and 10. Debate thy cause with thy neighbor himself, and disclose not the secret of another, lest he that heareth it revile thee, and thine infamy turn not away. And in the Same chapter, verse 23, the North Wind brings forth rain. So doth a backbiting tongue an angry countenance. In Proverbs 26:17. He that passes by and vexes himself with strife, not belonging to him is like one that takes a dog by the ears. And turn now for our New Testament reading to Matthew, the 18th chapter, where I will begin at the 15th verse, Matthew 18:15. And if thy brother sin against thee, go show him his fault between thee and him alone. If he heed thee, thou hast gained thy brother but if he heed thee not, take with thee one or two more, that at the mouth of two witnesses or three, every word may be established. And if he refuse to heed them, tell it unto the church. And if he refuse to heed the church, also let him be unto thee as the Gentile and publican. Verily I say unto you, what things soever ye shall bind on earth, shall have been bound in heaven and what things soever ye shall loose on earth, shall have been loosed in heaven. Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that ye shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father, who is in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. Then came Peter and said to him, lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him. Until seven times Jesus saith unto him. I say not unto thee, until seven times, but until seventy times seven. Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, who would make a reckoning with his servants. And when he had begun to reckon one was brought unto him that owed him 10,000 talents. But forasmuch as he had not wherewith to pay, his Lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife and children, and all that he had in payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down and worshiped him, saying, lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all of it. And the Lord of that servant, being moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred shillings, and he laid hold on him and shook him by the throat, saying, pay what you owe. So his fellow servant fell down and besought him, saying, have patience with me, and I will pay thee. But he would not but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay that which was due. So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were exceeding sorry, and came and told unto their Lord all that was done. Then his Lord called him unto him and saith to him, thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt because thou besoughtest me. Shouldest not thou also have had mercy on thy fellow servant, even as I had mercy on thee? And his Lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due. So shall also my heavenly Father do unto you, if you forgive not everyone his brother from your hearts and thus far the Reading of God's Word we were created and we were redeemed to get along with one another. We were created to get along with each other, and God has redeemed us that we might get along with each other. I'd like you to appreciate this opening thesis. I'd like you to understand this comment and the full sweep of Biblical presentation and truth so that as we then go back and look at the Book of Proverbs and what Jesus teaches us in the Book of Matthew, it will have especially strong force for us this Lord's day. We were created to get along with one another. You remember those words. It is not good for man to be alone. Genesis 2, the 18th verse There is the beginning of a Christian sociology, and indeed a Christian sociopsychology, if you will. It is not good for man to be alone. God created us for companionship. God created us to get along with others. And specifically we'll go on to speak of marriage, to be sure, but the principle is even broader. It is not good to live in isolation. It is good to live in community. It's good to live in society. It's good to live in harmony with other people. In fact, the Bible presents our living with other people in harmony as a tool, a tool for advancing and fulfilling the cultural mandate. The cultural mandate, remember as we find it In Genesis, the first chapter, verses 27 and 28, is that we should subdue the earth so that everything is done to God's glory, so that every area of life advances his kingdom and brings glory to his name. In Genesis 1, verses 27 and 28, we see the first expression of the cultural mandate. And you need to look at its exact expression in order to understand the point that I'm making. Genesis 1 at the 27th verse. And God created man in his own image, and the image of God created He him. Male and female created he them. And God blessed them and said unto them, be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves upon the earth. And the cultural mandate is addressed to man as male and female. It's addressed to a community. God said to them, have dominion. He didn't say it to some kind of individual mavericks who were running around every which way on the earth. Now you individually, in your own way, whether you get along with people or not, subdue the earth. He said to male and female, as they were created in that harmony, in that social relationship, in that corporate union, have dominion. Now, this tool for dominion, this tool whereby we cooperate with others in the subduing of the earth through the glory of God. This tool was greatly damaged by man's fall into sin. Was greatly damaged. And sin, according to the Bible, is characterized by the rupture of and rebellion against interpersonal harmony. Again, I take you to the early chapters of Genesis. We see in the third chapter in the account of man's fall into sin that that fall is tied up with the rupture of interpersonal relations. The woman tempts man to sin. The Bible tells us, rather than being the help meet, she was created to be. Eve was there to live in harmony and help with her husband, and yet she works to his disadvantage. She tempts him to sin. And of course, immediately what comes in the seventh verse of chapter three is alienation. The man and the woman understand their nakedness and their shame, and they cover themselves. You see already now there's distance between them. There's social disharmony because of sin. And then of course, the most wretched part of all, and I say this for all Men, you should see this in the 12th verse. As man turns against his wife and now blames her for his own sin. I want to remind you of that telling expression that says that Eve ate the fruit and gave it to her husband with her. Adam was right there. I maintain he was with her. He did not protect her from that sin. He did not exercise the leadership that he should. And yet when God comes on the scene and indicts Adam, he turns and blames the woman. What kind of harmony in the home did that create? You think, here you have this alienation between them covered by their fig leaves. And now that alienation exacerbated all the more by Adam saying, no, it's the woman, it's Eve. And of course it's God's fault for giving such a woman to him. When men fall into sin, it brings social havoc and disharmony. The very first story that we read of in Genesis, the fourth chapter, is a story of what Social disharmony. Cain murdered his brother Abel. We read on to the 11th chapter of Genesis, where, at the Tower of Babel, God separates the nations with the judgment of what? Alienation from one another linguistically. So they cannot cooperate. And of course, what follows that is a succession of tribal wars and national wars down into the 20th century as well. Sin, because it amounts to not loving God, naturally leads to not loving our fellow men. Sin creates havoc in society. It destroys community. God created us to get along with one another. Sin means we won't get along with one another. Another way in which we see the importance of getting along with each other is that social cohesiveness is a tool for accomplishing God's redemptive purpose. God created us to get along. Sin shows how we don't get along. And now God, in redemption, wants social cohesiveness to be used as a tool for accomplishing his plan and purpose. At the flood, will you notice? God saved not an individual, he saved a family, a social group, a corporate unity. In Genesis 12, God called Abraham, but he called Abraham not as a maverick, not as an individual. He called Abraham to be a father and to bless his seed after him, and indeed all the nations of the earth to be blessed. In Abraham, God's redemptive purpose was corporate. He wanted a society created that was redeemed and harmonious and at peace. And so out of Egypt, God redeemed an entire nation. And he set that entire nation in the land and gave them laws to live by so that they would be at peace and could work in concord with each other. And that nation was to be a type, was to be a small picture of the larger reality of what salvation is all about and what the new heavens and the new earth will be. Social harmony restored, of course, along with reconciliation to an angry God who knows our sin. And so we see throughout the Old Testament the corporate emphasis on salvation because God is working through a nation of believers and saved people. Psalm 133 tells us, Behold how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. In the third verse of that very psalm. That blessing of harmony between brothers is tied to the blessing of life forevermore that comes down. You have the coming down of the perfume from Aaron's head upon his collar, which is likened to the beauty of brothers who live together in unity, which is like the life forevermore that comes down from God himself. Salvation is not just salvation in this narrow individual sense that I'm going to go to heaven when I die and be with God, but because that is true, and of course that's the heart of it, and that's the root and that's the beginning of all the rest. But because of that, I live at harmony with my fellow man. In particular, I live in harmony with those who are redeemed along with me, with other believers. Interpersonal harmony is also a consequence of redemption. Not only do we see it as God prepares it through the Old Testament, but we see it in the New Testament because Jesus died for his church, and the church for whom he died is a recreated humanity. It's a new race of people. God starts again with the church, creation all over again. And now that unity in God's kingdom that was supposed to be there from the beginning is to be in the church. That which was typified in the peace and harmony of the nation of Israel is now to be maximized and actualized in the church of Jesus Christ. First Corinthians 12 tells us, the many members are to be one body, one integrated body, one unified body, one body that works together. And in this body, Jesus, the Lord of the Church, teaches that interpersonal reconciliation takes precedence over acts of worship. That's how important getting along with each other is. Jesus says, you come to bring your gift to the altar, and there remember, your brother has ought against you. Put your gift down. He doesn't say, go to church, finish your prayer, make your sacrifice, and then when it gets convenient, get things right with your brother. He says, no, go get right with your brother, then come back and worship God in this body of the church. Ethnic hostilities are laid aside. What cannot be achieved in the Middle east can be achieved in the church of Jesus Christ, Jew and Gentile, Arab and Greek, along with the Jews, all together in one new man. So Ephesians 2:3 teaches us. And in the fourth chapter of Ephesians, Paul calls on this new body to give diligence to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. He doesn't say, fit it into your calendar somewhere. It doesn't say, make it somewhere on the list. He says, give diligence to it. Punch ahead, push hard, give it everything you've got to keep the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace. And even as the cultural mandate was given to a corporate whole, not just individuals, God said to them, be fruitful and multiply. So also the Evangelical mandate, the Great Commission that's given to the church, I want you to notice, is not given to individuals. It's given to the church. You can read it for yourself. In Matthew the 28th chapter, verses 19 and 20, notice the plurals that are used there. Jesus uses the plural form when he says, disciple the nations. Teach the nations. Jesus uses the plural form when he says baptize them. Jesus uses the plural form when he says, lo, I'm with you always. He's speaking to us as a corporate body when he sends us out to disciple the nations to bring the gospel to the world. And indeed, Jesus said that one of the things that persuades men that he is the Christ and that we are the people of the Christ, one of the things that persuades them is the interpersonal love and harmony that exists between believers. By this shall all men know that you are my disciples. If you have love one for another. John 13:35 and so what am I getting at as I open up these thoughts from the Book of Proverbs today, my friends, I'm trying to stress that we were created to get along with each other and we were redeemed get along with each other. That we are missing something that is pervasive and crucial and basic from COVID to cover in the Bible. If we don't see we are supposed to get along with each other. We were created and we have been redeemed to live together harmoniously, to live in love and peace and cooperation. That is a tool for accomplishing God's purposes through us in the world, whether we're accomplishing the cultural mandate or the evangelical mandate. Naturally, then the wise man, the man of God, will cultivate and will cherish and will use that tool of interpersonal harmony. He will seek such harmony. He will seek such peace with conscientious diligence and with gladness. He knows that God wants us to get along with each other, to resolve our differences, that God wants us to work together in love. That leads me to my second point this morning and that's the church's all too common failure to do that. I've just stressed and of course I could go on, believe me, I could go on and teach you an entire seminary course on this one theme, from COVID to cover. The corporate dimension of God's work in this world, what that means in terms of how we relate to each other, how crucial it is, how close it is to the heart of God, how important it should be to us. But the church so often fails in this very area and that should make us stop. We better stop and think and do some self examination, ask why it's a tragic indictment of the church when believers show themselves no more adept, no more wise at achieving reconciliation and interpersonal harmony than what we find in the foolish, unbelieving world. It's not my place to be a judge over the entire church of Jesus Christ. I don't know the entire church of Jesus Christ. But I will say with all humility and graciousness that the fact is that the church as I have known it, and I've known it extensively in terms of the Reformed community and for a number of years the church as I have seen it and read of it, the church often strikes me as not having the slightest bit advantage over the unbelieving world in this very area. Well, many advantages in terms of telling the truth. Many advantages in terms of indicting unbelief. Many advantages even in terms of personal private piety. Many advantages in terms of having a social message that the world needs to hear and an answer for some of perhaps the problems in our state and society. But when it comes to living together in love, where do we see it? One must wonder about the alleged power of the gospel when those who would communicate that gospel to others cannot achieve harmony and reconciliation, cannot display peaceful means of resolving their grievances with each other. I think one has cause to doubt the power of the Holy Spirit who gives new life and direction to believers, when those same believers cannot keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. I specialize in apologetics. Most of my congregation knows that I have to defend attacks upon the gospel. How could God be good and there's evil in the world? How do we know that there is a God? How are miracles possible? All those questions are important, but I'll tell you, I've got fairly good answers for those, I hope. The one that is very difficult to answer is, why does the church live the way it does if the Gospel is true to that one? What can I say? It's not like I'm silent. I have an answer. But wouldn't it be a lot easier to say, oh, but look at these people, how they love each other. You know, they're following the Lord God himself, the Son of God, the Messiah is the one that gives them that power to do that. They do things that you can't do at IBM. They do things you can't accomplish down at the gas station. They do things that your family can't get right. They know what it is to love in unity, have peace and harmony in their hearts toward one another. You know, we can specialize in the most arcane refinements of doctrine. And, you know, because of my writings and my teaching, I'm not one to diminish doctrine. Come to my Sunday school class today, you'll see doctrine is real important to me. But we can specialize in the most arcane refinements of our doctrine. We can master the tools of apologetic strategy and still not have learned the ABCs of brotherly love and harmony. And I purposely say ABCs because it's one thing to put the Alphabet together in words, it's another thing not even know the Alphabet. And the tragic, amazing thing about the church is that the church has all these words, and yet the ABCs of love and reconciliation have not been learned. Churches are distinguished by their notable theological and organizational and liturgical differences, but they are never, to my knowledge, anyway. They have never been set apart by their superior achievement of interpersonal skills, superior achievement and commendable achievement of a batting average and reconciliation. Have you ever. Have you ever heard someone say, boy, I'm going to go to that church over there? They've got the highest percentage of interpersonal reconciliation of any group I've ever seen. Have you ever said, I know this group may not have the best preacher, this group may not have the biggest youth group, but boy, they live together in harmony. They don't let things get in their way. They're really tied together in love. We don't hear that, do we? Is it because we've missed it? You know, it's there, but we just, oh, I forgot to mention, they love one another. No, it wouldn't happen that way. We don't say that sort of thing because churches are not characterized by that sort of thing. Bill Gothard it seems to me, was entirely correct. And I don't agree with everything in basic youth conflicts. I don't agree with everything my brother Bill has said. But Bill Gothard, it seems to me, was entirely correct when he identified the prevailing number one sin and failure of the Christian community, the key blight upon our character and reputation as a corporate body. He said that if he had one truth for which he would give his life, if his life could have the effect of bringing about the church's conformity to one instruction in God's word, it would be that of Matthew, the 18th chapter, the steps in resolving offenses between believers. He said, that is the prevailing sin of the Christian community. I think he's right. Now, it would be simplistic, and I would never encourage you to think there's only one sin or we should sit around debating what the biggest one is. But that has got to be one that looms large in all of our minds as we think about the shortcomings of the church, of our own church. Dr. J. Adams has initiated a reform within the ranks of Christian counseling, has issued a powerful call to conformity to the word of God in dealing with personal problems. I don't agree with everything Dr. Adams says either, although I think he's really a wonderful teacher. I mean, I have my differences with him, but I think he's exactly right to make a key building block in the attempt to have a biblical approach to our problems. A teaching of how to resolve criticisms and bitterness and offenses with others, the procedure of reconciliation taken directly out of Matthew 18. You go read Dr. Adams books and see if you can get through one without having Matthew 18 explained to you. It's crucial. It's central. Why is the church needed to be called back to the basics? Why is the church needed to be called back to the ABCs of Christian living, the ABCs of peace and harmony, love. Why do men like Gothard and Adams and many others too, have to point that out to us? My friends, why do we excel in doctrinal questions and personal religion, but fall on our faces when it comes to living in community as brothers? When it comes to expressing our religious conviction in interpersonal affairs, suggest four reasons quickly to you. One, because we've taken the status quo for granted for too long. We just assume that's the way things are. There, always will be, always have been. Status quo is taken for granted. It just seems natural that believers act like unbelievers in this area, that unity and peace cannot be expected, and we're wrong. Two, because of the Spirit of individualism in our age, it just seems that the principles of the secular marketplace, competition, individual initiative, when you don't like working for a particular company, you go your own way. Those principles have been applied where they don't actually have any place, and that's within the Christian church. We have created an individualistic kind of Christianity, a revivalistic kind of Christianity, and religion in the church, where there's no concept of corporate government, no concept of submission to authority, no concept to submitting to your brothers in the Lord, no concept of keeping your mouth quiet when you don't agree with something, no concept of unity and tolerance and humility and love, individualism. I'm standing my ground. No one will move me off it. Thirdly, I think we're having to be called back to it because these principles of reconciliation involve the frustrating task of dealing with others. And we don't want to be frustrated. It's not easy because, you see, you cannot control other people. Jean Paul Sartre put it well, he said, hell is other people. And he was right. Because in his existentialist universe, where individualism and freedom is the key to authenticity, the biggest thing that gets in the way of my exercising my freedom is that other people are free and they get in the way. They create a hell for me, so the world can't be what I want to make it. Well, Christians have that same kind of feeling without maybe the pungency of the existentialist motto, the frustrating task of dealing with others. You know, we can't control other people and we can't be assured of success in dealing with them. And we don't like to be losers, and we don't like to have our stomachs get turned up in knots when we have to go to people and say, hey, I think there's something wrong here. It bothers us. We'd rather play the ostrich game than to get down to the tough love of confrontation. You know, as ostriches put our heads in the sand and we pretend there isn't a problem there. So you're not getting along with a brother. Instead of dealing with it, you just put your head in the sand and eventually what, your brother goes to another church? Problems taken care of? Right. We just won't talk to each other. We'll just stop having fellowship with each other. You know, kind of like if you translated that into heavenly terms, God will deal with our sin by having us come to heaven and all live in separate cabins somewhere and never have to see each other. And then there won't be any problems. Instead of curing the disease that is within us, we just go off and live with that disease in the privacy of our own home, the ostrich game. Because we don't want to be frustrated and deal with the others. And finally, and this is the biggest one, friends, because the Bible teaches us that the tongue is such an unruly member to tame. The reason why we don't learn the skills of interpersonal harmony is because to do so we have to tie back our tongues. And that's hard. James, the third chapter says, if you can tame your tongue, you can tame your whole body. That if you can master that problem in your sanctification, you can master probably just about anything. The tongue is the most powerful muscle in the entire body. You may have thought it was the thigh. You're wrong. You can't do near as much damage with your thigh as you can with your tongue. It's true. And so the question that comes before is, if the skills of social harmony and reconciliation are part of the wise man's tools for pleasing God, part of the wise man's tools for achieving his created purpose, part of the wise man's tools for achieving his redemptive purpose, what would the opposite tools be? What would the fool's tools be? What kind of interpersonal behavior is characteristic of the fool who lives contrary to what God created us to be, the fool who wreaks havoc in the community God redeemed us to enjoy? The question I want to ask you this morning is what are the fool's tools? What are the tools which foolishly steer the church into its failure to live by Christ's instructions for peace and reconciliation? What are the tools which undermine our brotherly love and keep our witness from being persuasive in the world? Of course, the Book of Proverbs describes many of them for us, but I think three in particular stand out for their utility in creating and perpetuating interpersonal problems and strife and hostility. Three tools are especially useful in the foolish task of impeding and preventing the peaceful resolution of offenses or apparent offenses between people. The fool, I'm saying, has three tools that efficiently stand in the way of reconciliation between two parties, stand in the way of keeping them from achieving the oneness which God desires from us both in creation and redemption. And they are the tools of harping on a matter, backbiting about a matter, and meddling into matters that are not your business. Each, in their own way, is a destructive implement for demolishing unity in the church, a destructive implement for Demolishing brotherly love and destroying interpersonal harmony between believers. The Bible says wise men avoid such things. Fools use them. Probably with Narya thought about it. Fool doesn't even know he's picking up a hammer and bashing the unity of the church. He just says that's the way people live, right? Or it's just habitual. You have to understand, that's the way I was brought up. I'm just a real kind of guy like that. We hear these ridiculous excuses. People don't even realize the damage they do because this is their personality. It's a matter of course in their lives. And then when it's brought to their attention, you find fools going to the extreme of trying to find a moral justification for their need to utilize these tools of misery and disharmony. Oh, yes. In general, backbiting is not called for. But in my case. Do you know what he did to me? Of course, I had to ask others for prayer. I had to get their advice. I wanted to compare notes with them. No, it wasn't gossip. In my particular case, it's incredible what we are able to do. God lays out the clearest of instructions. Abstains of harmony and love and brotherly unity. And we go contrary every day, every week of our lives. And when it's brought to our attention, we go. But me, no, not me. For me, it was something else. There wasn't backbiting. I wasn't harping on a matter here. I wasn't meddling where I didn't belong. And so if you've got your justifications and your walls of defenses up today, brothers, you probably won't hear me, but I'd like to. And I assure you the introduction is longer than the sermon today. Now that I've got you listening to this, I'd like to just point out three real quick things from the Book of Proverbs. Tools used by fools to destroy what God wanted in creation and redemption all along. That's harmony between us. Let's remember something. And that's kind of one of these things. You know this. It's just so obvious, right? We're sinners. That's right. All of us are sinners. And because we're sinners, even in our best days, we fall short of the glory of God. And even when we don't intend it maliciously, we hurt people and we say things that are impatient. We do things which do not show that we are sanctified and glorified and fit for heaven were sinners. And you know what happens when you put two sinners in one room, you get war, one kind or another. Anyone has any doubt about original sin, I suggest you put two 2 year olds in one room with one toy. You're going to learn real quick that children don't have to be taught to sin. They've got it right down in their hearts. They've mastered it mine, okay? And we're all like that. But it's not just 2 year olds now. It's 20 year olds and 40 year olds and 60 year olds too. God puts us all in this room here and lo and behold, we're going mine. Get out of my way. You didn't say that right. You offended me and we step on each other and we hurt each other. I don't want to justify that, but I want to tell you, you better know that's going to happen. I recently heard a highway patrolman say something to the effect that if you turn left in an intersection because the lights turn yellow when another person is coming up to the intersection, you may be legally in the right, but you're going to get hit broadside. And you're too foolish to be driving in California, because we all know in California that people run yellow lights in the same way. You really have no place in the Christian community if you think you walked into heaven when you came here this morning. You know sin didn't get left at that back door. We came in here as miserable sinners in need of reminders of our sin, in need of forgiveness, in need of cleansing and encouragement and strength and love. That's what we need today. But we're not good at doing that sort of thing. We sin against one another and it's going to happen. Just like people are going to run yellow lights. We're going to run afoul of people. And now what do you do when that happens? If you're a fool, I want to suggest you do three things, or one of three things. Some of us specialize in one area or the other of sinning against one another. You harp on the matter, you backlight about the matter, or you meddle into things that are none of your business. Proverbs 17:4. I promise to be quick about this. Now the doctor is going to go in for the most painful part of the surgery forthwith. Proverbs 17 says, an evildoer gives heed to wicked lips and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue. We listen to one another complaining, turning against each other. The ninth verse of that same chapter says, he that covers transgression seeks Love. He that harps on a matter separates best friends. Love covers a multitude of sins. The first thing I would teach you this morning, if you want to accomplish God's purposes in creation and God's purposes and redemption, is to learn a little humility and tolerance and patience. God isn't finished with any of us yet, not unless Jesus comes back. And then, of course, that's the end of the race and the awards will be given. But until that day happens, as long as I'm alive, hopefully every day is a better day for me. It's supposed to be a better day. And so when I'm impatient with you, if I speak harshly to you or if I seem cold to you sometimes, would you please remember God still working with me? Would you please know that sometimes it's not as malicious as it seems, that sometimes I get busy, sometimes I get distracted, sometimes I'm not feeling well, sometimes I don't sleep enough. And that's not to make excuses. That's to say that with a little humility, recognizing, you know, you're coming from the same kind of flesh and blood problems as I am, then maybe you don't have to get bent out of shape when that happens. Maybe you can say, I love him so much, I can put up with that. I'm not going to go home. I'm probably not even going to remember that he did that. But the fool harps on things. And I thought and thought and thought about finding a better English verb for this Hebrew word, but there isn't one. I've looked. If someone finds it, help me, because when I preach the sermon again someday I'd like to have it harping, you know, what is the harp on a matter? Just not to give it up, just to go after it, after it and after it. Now, this happens in two ways. It seems to me we have two varieties of harping. There's the harping on a matter. When it's a minor issue, and you just can't let minor things go. Anything gets in the way of a relationship between you and another person, you're going to make sure that comes out. You're going to make a mountain into a molehill. There's an English proverb for you about it. When we harp on matters, too. When we go to our brothers and get their explanation of what they meant or how they really didn't respond well and they're sorry about that. And then you just keep bringing it up, just keep, keep, keep bringing it up. Now, sometimes you don't bring it up to Others, you know who you bring it up to Yourself. Driving along, you say, bob, remember what that guy did? I can't believe he said that to me. He drive another few blocks. I just can't believe he said that to me. He get up the next day, I can't believe he said that to me. Yeah, I know he said that. He didn't mean it. I know he was sorry, but I can't believe it. Why me? By the way, people who act that way, I usually have an answer for them, why you? But nevertheless, why do I have to be picked on like this? And we harp on it and we pick at it, and this is a really horrible image. And we're not supposed to do this from the pulpit, but I'm going to do it this morning. You know what happens when you have a sore and a scab starts growing, and then you pick it. And this scab starts growing, and then you pick it. Pretty ugly, isn't it? And we do that with our interpersonal relations. We pick the scabs all the time, oozing sores in the congregation of Christ's people. Because we harp on matters. We just can't let them go. Matthew, the 18th chapter, was never intended as an open door, never intended as a divine invitation to become censorious and proud and nitpicky and judgmental and unforgiving. My friends, if you think Matthew 18 was intended for every single time a person crosses you, steps on your toes, is impatient or what, whatever it may be, you'll never have peace. Try having a marriage relationship where you never let anything go. I give you about not even a day, maybe eight hours. You just can't have a marriage where people would say, well, okay, I got to give some space. I love you, I forgive you don't have to deal with that. And we need that with one another. Not because we're married to each other, but because we're all the bride married to the same Lord. We need to love each other, give each other a little room for growth, be a little more patient, be forgiving. Don't think we have to approach one another over and over again. He that harps on a matter can separate even the best of friends. If you're anything like me, I'll bet you you've got stories you can tell about how best friends were separated just that way. I can think of half a dozen since I left high school people that were once best friends who don't even talk to each other now. And it's right here because they wouldn't give up like a bulldog. They hold on to issues and they harp on them. Secondly, you can destroy the unity of Christ's body by backbiting Proverbs 25, 9, 10. Debate thy cause with thy brother himself, and disclose not the secret of another, lest he that heareth it revile thee in thine infamy. Turn not away. I said we're sinners. I said we're going to step on each other's toes. It's inevitable that offenses will come. But now how do we deal with them? Well, one problem is you can backbite. You know how you can deal with someone doing something you don't like? Go tell someone else. There was, you see two people involved, but now you can make it three. In fact, if you're really efficient, probably before you get to your car today, you can make it a dozen. You could get to enough people to say, you know what that person said. I can't believe this. Or would you please help me pray for this person that's backbiting. No pious cop outs backbiting. You don't go behind someone's back and bite him back biting. Now that one. I didn't look for another word because I like that one. It's really descriptive. It really gets to the point. Wisdom calls for directness in dealing with one who has offended you. A moment ago we said love covers a multitude of offenses. But you know, even when we love one another, certain things happen, or they happen so often that they just rattle around within us and we can't give them up. They really torment us. We can't sleep at night about it. We're really put out about it. And when that happens, and it will, even when love covers a multitude of sins, there are going to be certain sins of your brother or your sister against you. And you have to confront that. But you know what we do? Instead of running to the brother, we run to someone else and we talk about that brother or that sister. But the Bible says that we seldom know the full facts. We often don't interpret them perfectly. Look at verse 8. Go not forth hastily to strive, lest thou know not what to do in the end thereof, when thy neighbor hath put thee to shame. Be careful. You may not have seen everything. You may not have seen it in the best possible light. You may not have interpreted things correctly. So go directly to your neighbor himself to debate your cause. That's what verse nine says. Debate thy cause with thy neighbor and disclose not the secret of another. Don't go around disclosing that secret to somebody else. Go right to your neighbor and debate it. Say, listen brother, I don't want to hold a grudge against you. This is what you did as I see it. Could you please explain that to me or apologize about the 10th verse? Lest he that heareth it revile thee in thine infamy, turn not away. Derek Kidner has two telling insights. I don't usually do this, but I'm going to quote them both. He says one's motives in spreading a story are seldom as pure as one pretends, and I assure you that the pastor was struck through the heart when he read those words. Not because he is such a bad congregation, but because they've got such a bad pastor. Our motives are seldom as pure as we think, as we pretend when we spread stories. The second thing Kidner said about this verse that I thought was worth reading to you. He says, to run to the law or to the neighbors is usually to run away from the duty of personal relationship. Debate your cause with your neighbor himself. Don't disclose the sea for to another, go right to him. Matthew 18 requires that you go directly to the offending individual to speak about his apparent error. Don't disclose the secret to another. Jesus says, go to your brother and speak to him what, in private? Between you and him alone? Maybe you need to go to Matthew 18th chapter this morning and highlight that word alone. Circle it. Put a little exclamation mark in the margin to get straight that the first step in achieving reconciliation is keeping the circle as small as possible. Don't talk to others about your complaints. Don't gripe and backbite. Go to the person you got a complaint with. Deal with him alone in private. And I want to tell you something else. That's not just a suggestion. That's in the imperative mood. Jesus doesn't say here's how things might go better. You know, kind of words for the wise. I would suggest you try this. If it's your preference, I hope you have a good he says, this is an order. The Lord of the Church says you do it alone. No excuses, no rationalizations, no pious cop outs. You go to your brother alone. And if you won't go alone, shut up. Is that direct enough for you? If you will not go and deal with your brother or sister alone, you have no business talking about it at all. Don't talk to yourself about it. Don't talk to others about it. Don't talk to God about it. But if it bothers you and you can't cover it in Love. You go to him, and you go to him alone. What's the key word alone? What does it mean in private? Don't spread the matter. And when you spread the matter, when you take it to somebody, that doesn't really have anything to do with the issue, you say, well, what do you think about this? You're backbiting. Galatians 5, 1415 makes it very clear that backbiting is a key offense against brotherly love. I think we should see that. Galatians 5, 14:15 right before Paul gets into the fruit of the Spirit, he says, for the whole law is fulfilled in one word, even thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. But if you bite and devour one another, take heed that you be not consumed one by the other. Paul says, you love one another, Then don't bite each other, don't backbite, don't devour each other. Love calls for you going directly to the person. Debate your cause with him. Go to him and speak alone. Proverbs 25:23 tells us that it's our obligation not simply to avoid backbiting in ourselves, but to make sure we stop it in others. The north wind brings forth rain. So doth a backbiting tongue and angry countenance. The Hebrew here can be translated either the north wind drives out rain or brings forth rain. You say, uh oh, that's just the very opposite. So how are we to take it? Well, it turns out that it means the same thing depending on where you think the proverb originated and what kind of climatic conditions the writer of this proverb wrote. The north wind brings forth rain can mean it brings forth dryness, and therefore the crops dry out. Or it drives away rain, depending on who is writing this. And therefore the rain is not there in the same way. Notice, a backbiting tongue brings forth an angry countenance, and it should. Or an angry countenance drives it away. The same effect is there when someone comes to you and says, I gotta tell you about a problem I have with someone else. You know what you ought to do? Scowl, looking right in the eye and say, don't you dare. I don't want to hear it. This isn't right. I don't want to be involved. No, don't talk to me about other people's problems. Go deal with your brother alone. Go debate your cause with your neighbor. And you just keep scowling at them until they go away. You get the point. It's not enough that you avoid backbiting. You too must stop the Backbiter, you may say, I don't want to hear it. It's not appropriate. Deal with this, as Jesus would have you do. Here's a good policy to follow. If I'm not part of the problem or its solution, I have no business discussing it. If you're taking notes this morning, I would suggest you put that one in there. If I'm not part of the problem or its solution, I have no business discussing it. Okay? So I'll talk to you about it. If I'm at fault or I'm in some way involved in the issue, or if I somehow have to be there to resolve this. But if I'm not part of the problem or its solution, don't talk to me about it. And then finally, the Bible says, the third tool of the fool is to meddle. We have some people who backbite, do it behind your back. Then you have other people who do it right to your face when it's none of their business. The very opposite social strategy, but equally sinful in the eyes of God. And there's one proverb, it only takes one to get this point across. Proverbs 26:17. He that passes by and vexes himself with strife belonging not to him is like one that takes a dog by the ears. You all know what a pit bull is. Imagine you're sitting in your front room one day just minding your own business, and you see a pit bull walking down the street. He said, there goes my neighbor's vicious pit bull. I think I'll go out there and pull his ears. I don't think you'd do that. The Bible says the fool does that all the time. He sees there are these two brothers or two sisters, or a brother and a sister, whatever combination thereof you got. Two Christians aren't getting along. He says, hey, off we pull their ears. I think I'll go get involved. I'll tell them my opinion. You know, we're always so free with our opinions. Remember, free. Free advice is worth just about that much. Failure to follow the principle that if I'm not part of the problem or its solution, I shouldn't discuss it. Failure to follow that principle is especially clear when we take it upon ourselves not simply to listen to a report brought to us, but actually to intrude ourselves into a situation. We meddle in the situation. It's none of our business. That expression you were probably taught, if you brought up in a polite home that tell people it's none of your business. That's kind of a harsh thing. To say the Bible says it's true, though there are some things that are none of our business. And I'd like you to see before we close this morning in 1st Peter 4:16, what this meddling sin is combined with and classed with by Peter. First Peter 4, 15th verse and verse 16. Let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or an evildoer, or as a meddler in other men's matters. But if a man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed. A meddler in other men's matters. A long expression in English, one word in Greek. It's a real long word in Greek, though, and it means things belonging to another overseer of. Don't suffer as someone who tries to be an overseer in other people's things, a meddler in other men's matters. And notice who you're with if you're like that, a thief and a murderer. Peter says, but if you suffer as a Christian, then you have something to be proud of. You're suffering as a meddler. Don't take pride in that. Don't think piously. Well, I was trying to help out. I going to accomplish God's purposes in creation and redemption, we better learn the skills of interpersonal harmony. And those skills call for tolerance, directness and minding your own business. So we're going to stop. But you see, the problem is I preached all this and I've left you convicted fools, haven't I? All of us do that. We don't mind our own business. We backbite and we're not very tolerant. So I want to remind you, Christ died for fools like you and me. Christ died for the judgmental who harp on matters. Jesus was our judge and he no longer harps on our sins. Isn't that wonderful? He doesn't harp on it. He doesn't keep needling you day after day, saying, remember what you did. Remember what you did. Jesus died to put that aside. And Christ died for backbiters and gossips and meddlers too. He who hears our every word spoken in secret, backbiting whatever it may be. He who knows our most private sins has publicly declared not our sins, but our forgiveness. Jesus hasn't made a point of spreading bad rumors about you. Jesus is spreading the good news. I died to set him free. I died to cleanse her of that sin. Fools need Jesus saving, mercy and the Spirit's empowering so they can start accomplishing what God meant us to be all along. People who learn to get along. Let's pray, Father. We know that we need to get along with you better. We know that we are sinners. And it's precisely in the area of not getting along with others that we see so clearly the foulness of our character. We are a real rebellious lot of people. A very proud lot of people. A very self deceived and rationalizing lot of people. And this morning we're not going to play any more games. We're going to confess that to be true. We know that we haven't done what you meant us to be. We haven't lived with that harmony that creation was intended to be. We haven't even lived in terms of the harmony you redeemed us to enjoy. We're all guilty, Father, not only of not loving you, but of not loving our neighbor as ourselves. We haven't followed the Principles of Matthew 18 and we've made excuses for ourselves. But this morning we want no excuse to be made. We want simply to ask you to forgive us, to set us free from the bondage of sin and cleanse us from its guilt. Because Jesus died for fools and we know we're fools. Make us wise. Give us your spirit. Give us new life and direction. Give us the courage to obey your word even when it's hard. Give us a heart of love that knows that if we can't forgive others, he won't forgive us. Teach us, Father, the principles of our holy religion that we might understand what reconciliation is all about. That we might not so specialize in the details of the Bible that we miss the message that's from COVID to cover for we pray in Jesus name. Amen.

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