What do you wish you knew before your first child?

21 Sept 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

0:36

In a brief panel-style YouTube segment, three speakers share the most important lessons they wish they had known before becoming parents. Speaker A emphasizes that being an ambitious professional and a good mother are not mutually exclusive, warning that the guilt of splitting one’s identity into separate “work” and “mom” selves can drain energy. Speaker B stresses the importance of resolving one’s own childhood issues first, arguing that personal emotional work provides the essential foundation for healthy parenting. Speaker C advises prospective parents to inquire about a company’s parental leave and support policies before accepting a job, noting that the employer’s response reveals how truly supportive they will be. The overall message is practical, reflective advice aimed at new or expectant parents.

Before I had my first kid, I wish someone had told me this: being a good mom and being ambitious aren't opposing forces. The guilt came from splitting myself into work Zoe and mom Zoe, and that cost me more energy than the ambition ever did.
I wish I knew that what hasn't been dealt with in your own childhood will show up in how you parent. The work you do on yourself first is the only real foundation you have to build from.
The one thing I always tell new parents: Ask for the policies before you accept the job. You find out not just what they offer, you find out how they respond, and that tells you everything about whether they'll actually support you.