019: How to Tell Your Personal Story Effectively

All right. Hello and welcome again to the Scaling Up Business podcast. I'm your host, Gazelle's business coach, Bill Gallagher. We're talking about stories today. I have with us four time Emmy award winning director and producer, Nick Nanton. He's the author of Story Selling, CEO of Dick's and Nanton. He's worked with all kinds of big names and stuff. He'll tell you all about it. We're going to focus in on how to tell your stories well and something that can really make a huge difference in the marketing of your business, both to the customer and to your potential employees. Welcome to the show, Nick.

Hey man, thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here. I love Gazelles and everything around it. So yeah, man, happy to be here. Let's pour some knowledge out.

Well, I first heard you at the Gazelles Business Summit where we have some fantastic speakers and you really killed it and I thought your message was exciting and really relevant. We work with folks all the time on figuring out their story, whether it's their origin story or why they're even staying into it. And that ties well into the purpose of the business and helps to recruit people, helps to find prospects and customers. So this is just a great opportunity. As in preparing for the show, I noticed that there's kind of three big ideas there. One is figuring out your story and being able to tell that well. And I think that's probably where we should start today. And then of course, the second two pieces are getting others to know your story so well they could tell it and ultimately having everybody else around you knowing your story so well that they sell for you. And that story lives as a thing unto itself out in the world and works for you. So it's just a fantastic idea. So it seems like we have to get started. What's your story? How do you get into this business?

Hey, man. Well, thank you for the kind words and yeah, so the bottom line is that I was born in Barbados, my parents moved to Orlando with myself and my brother and when I was 1, grew up in Orlando, started playing guitar at 6, started songwriting at 16, put out my first record at 18 of which I mentioned to you before, I still have about 800 copies on my parents bed. I didn't know what I know now and how to market things like that.

And you can share those with your kids as they get older.

Exactly. Yeah, we got coasters and frisbees for life, but we. Because you can use those. The CDs are only good for about those two things now, but they, you know. So I went up to school at University of Florida. I did my undergrad in finance because that seemed like the responsible thing to do. Finish it up pretty quickly, then went on to law school because my parents had always encouraged me to get a profession. And my brother went to med school. So he kind of ruined it for both of us. So I had to go there too. But as I mentioned before, you know, I, you know, I. I don't practice much law, certainly don't love the practice of law, but I'm really glad I went to law school because one of the things that is an interesting thing is when, you know, when you're a lawyer in a room full of lawyers, you're just another lawyer. But when you're the only lawyer in another room of non lawyers, you have pretty unique talents and skills and gifts. So when I don't practice law, I'm actually much less of a commodity. So it's an interesting, interesting way it all worked out and I've enjoyed it. But what happened was I was in law school and I was managing some bands, doing some entertainment things, and I convinced my now partner to, you know, to partner with me in an entertainment company. And, you know, I was producing records, I was writing songs. I'm still, I still write songs in Nashville. I write a lot of country music. And I was writing, producing and producing other bands. And you know, one of the things that we noticed was, you know, even though we were broke college kids, we had to produce things that stood up next to major label content at the time, made videos, all that stuff. And I had to find ways to do it on a budget. And one of the things I remember is we produced this record. The record came out really well. I think we spent five or six grand on it total. But it sounded like a major label record. We really had done it well. And then we had to create the album artwork. And the problem was in the album artwork. Really good photos are hard. They're expensive, they're hard to find. And amateurish photos always look amateurish no matter what you do with them. So we couldn't afford to spend the several thousand dollars we needed for the photo. So we came up with an idea. And I said, hey, why don't we go? Why don't we do something different? And I end up having a buddy of mine who's also a broke college student draw cartoons of these guys. And they were, they were like a Blink 182 kind of band. That style of music was called power Pop. And So we kind of made this funny album cover called Power Pops. And the three of the guys in the band, they were three piece bands. We made it kind of a play off of SN Snap, Crackle and Pop, the guys from Rice Krispies. We made the whole thing look like a cereal box. We had fun with it and everything. And you know, we spent like 250 bucks. And so we put that out. It went great. And you know, my business partner Jack said, you know, Nick, it's intriguing. You probably don't realize it, but you have a unique skill set in creating media that looks like it came out of Hollywood or, you know, music comes out of Nashville or New York. And you're doing it on a budget and you're doing a really good job creating, promoting these guys. But you know, first of all, when you have like four bands you're managing and they've got four guys on average, you know, you're like babysitting 16 kids is what it feels like. He said, you know, if you would bring the skill set of what you do to the business world, the things you've learned in entertainment to business. First of all, there's people who probably more reasonable to deal with less prima donnas. Not all of them, by the way. Some of them are most of our. And then. And also, you know, there's. You actually might have a budget to work with. So that's what I did. And so we're now 10 years into the business, so I guess that's history. And we've worked with nearly 3,000 clients. We're about to cross over that 3,000 client mark and we work with clients in 36 countries. And I've been, you know, blessed enough to work with people all around the world, whether on large scale events or filming movies. You know, people like Richard Branson and Tony Robbins and Mark Cuban and Brian Tracy and Jack Canfield and Verne Harnish and just lots of great people. So even Ivanka Trump. I mean, we've had, we've had some good times. So that's the long story that's short. This is a short version of the long story to tell you. Kind of what got me into doing what I do now.

Yeah, totally get it. And great pivot into finding something and a place to apply something that you love in a different environment that makes you more unique and more special. So folks come to you, they start to work on crafting their story and making that a centerpiece of something. What's that process like? Or can you tell us a story of Working with someone and what, what that was like.

Yeah, I mean, so obviously everyone's story is a little bit different. But what I try to get people to understand is one of the things that either you're taking. Well, first of all, most everyone just takes their story for granted. They just think, you know, I'm not that interesting. Why would I talk about that? Well, first of all, there's a bunch of reasons, but if you tell your story well, it will position you as the only person in the world who could possibly solve the problem of your prospect or that they want to solve it. And because of the fact that your story, when you tell it the right way, it leads down to a natural path of why you are now doing what you do. And so for instance, we do a lot of things in our agency. We make people best selling authors. I make documentaries on a lot of people. We put people in major newspapers and magazines, we put them on tv. And there are other places you can go to get these things done, but not the way we do it. And certainly not all under one roof. So we've created like so my story of going from entertainment into business positions me very uniquely. Certainly winning four Emmys position me very uniquely. And then people come into our agency and trust us to do all these different things for them. But they, it only makes sense by telling the story. So for instance, you know, if I hadn't told you the story of the story, just told you most people, like if you gave the worst intro you could for me, you know, it'd be like, hey, Nick Nanton, he's a lawyer and he's gonna help you become a celebrity. Like that's weird. So again, just, I mean a dumb example, but you get the point. It's telling the story, it's what makes things make sense. And so, you know, I mean I've worked with. So it's really intriguing actually. Peter Diamandis, I made a movie on him called Visioneer, we won a couple Emmys for it. And it's about Peter's story of, you know, the first private space flight which you know, he did with his non profit. Yeah, X Prize. And then the, the actual technology was bought by Richard Branson. And most people know now, you know because they heard of Virgin Galactic. Well Peter, when I asked him about telling his story, he basically said, oh man, it's been told a bunch of times, I don't really want a fluff piece about myself. And I eventually convinced him over. I wore him out after a period of time. And then when he Saw the movie, he was like, oh my gosh. You know, this is really, really unique. It tells my story in a consistent way, a great way every time. And also what I found was most, most amazing. I have since then joined the board of the X Prize and I've been on the board with guys who've known Peter for years and given him millions of dollars. And a lot of them didn't even know half the stories he told on the, on the movie. Like, he thought everyone knew him. Because if you tell your story a thousand times, your brain just starts to think everyone has heard it and you've told a lot of times, but not everybody's heard it. I mean, even when I do, when I do, like sales presentations, we would do like tele seminars, webinars, or I do them at live events sometimes. One time I just got sick to tell my story. So I just thought it'd be a great idea to take it out and save some time and sell it with some more content. And my sales plummeted and then I put it, put my origin story right back in and my sales were right back to where they, where they should have been. So, yeah, that's a, a direct example of how it affected me. But those are just some examples there. And I don't remember if I answered all of your question or not.

Well, no, I think it's really great. Immediately reminded me of being a young dj. And just as I was getting started and I was complaining to a program director about how we're supposed to be a different kind of station and how can we play the same BS music over and over? Like, good Lord, it's a fine song, but everybody's heard that too many times. And he's like, no, they haven't. You've heard it too many times. You're on the air, you're like totally immersed in this world, but they tune in here and there and they hear the song and they're totally happy to hear that song. I promise you, your frame of reference, your lens, your filter for how much is too much is way off. And you need to just relax and play people what they want to hear. And it was a good, good lesson that the things that we are. We've all heard many songs again and again, and yet people want to hear it. And there's some. A great song, a great story, touches a chord, touches a nerve, expresses something, and it makes us feel something. And even in business, it's helpful to feel something. I think about this all the time because we're focused On, I mean, really the beginning of our strategy work and we, from our recruiting work. And so much is purpose with companies, right? And they're like, oh, purpose, touchy feely crap. But some understand it, but many have that kind of reaction to it. And yet in story, we often in the origin story of the business or how somebody came to it and acquired it, even if they bought it, there's some element of that purpose there that gets people to do the kind of work that they do when they quit. You know, most people pour more into their weekend and their evening nonprofit work than they do in their daytime job. But when they're connected to purpose and touched by something and a story can, can obviously do that, connect to the passion behind.

Absolutely can. And I mean, think about it. Stories are like one of the few things, and I love stories that are told in, we'll call it moving pictures for now. But you know, movies and film, you know, I can, I can show you a 90 second story about someone you don't know, or it can even be a fictional character and I can make you cry within 90 seconds. And it's just that powerful because stories literally move you. I mean, there's a chemical in your brain called oxytocin. And I'll, you know, if that's not the thing Rush Limbaugh got in trouble for, that's oxycontin. That's a different deal. Oxytocin, something your, your body creates. And when it's, it's a, it's a love and bonding hormone. And interestingly, when hearing stories, oxytocin is also released, which creates a chemical trust bond between the storyteller and the listener. So, you know, first of all, you've got chemistry working for you, body chemistry. And then second of all, there is a, there's a concept called transportation. And kind of the easiest way to think about it is, you know, when you're reading a good book, say a fiction book, and you really kind of stop seeing words on a page, but you see a picture of something that's happening in your mind, you kind of see the movie playing out. Well, that's like you transported yourself into this scenario. And in, in our world of storytelling, when you tell a good story, you actually can transport your listener or your reader in your bit of your business into your story. And they actually start to feel like they were a part of it. They actually kind of start to bond and they feel like they feel like they're a part of your success and your trials and your tribulation. So they get, literally, they feel somewhat. Start to feel somewhat responsible for your success. So to connect that to one more thing, there's a number called Dunbar's number. And Dunbar's number is. There's debate, but between 100 and 150. And I think nowadays it's probably closer to 150, but basically says you can have 150 relationships at any time. And that's really all your brain can process. Well, if you think about, it's interesting, you watch Oprah every day. Then One of those 150 spots is taken up by Oprah. Now, I'm sure, like, you know, your spots 1 through 10 or 1 through 20, I don't know. The numbers are. Your brain knows the difference between, you know, your mom and the level of relationship you have with her and Oprah. But the point being is, you know, it sneaks into repetition, also causes to sneak into your subconscious as a relationship. And I know, you know, some people relate to this when you, you might have a car dealer in town or a personal injury lawyer in town is like on TV all the time. And at some point you may have run into them in a grocery store or in a sandwich shop or whatever, and you probably said hey to them, like, you know them really well and you stopped and felt dumb afterwards because you really don't know them. They don't know who you are, but you just feel like, you know, because you've seen them so many times. Now, what's intriguing about if you put all these things together is if you tell your story effectively and you use different types of media to stay in front of your audience, so you take up one of those relational slots, you know, you really become their friend in the business without, you know, and a lot of times just one too many communications. And so when you create that friend in the business relationship with them and they have a chemical bond to you and they have, they feel transported in your story, it's really interesting because they actually will start to feel like, like I said before, like they're responsible for some of your success. And so they'll never go anywhere else they'll refer all their friends to because if they went to somebody else, they would actually feel like they were tearing down something they subconsciously feel like they help to build. So it just goes really deep when you tell your story effectively. And, you know, it is absolutely the best way to get any point across, as we all learn from, you know, Aesop's Fables and everything else, you know, for, you know, generations and generations, thousands of Years, you know, things that were remembered were told by stories.

So yeah, and I can really hear the, the disconnect for many entrepreneurs who are like, yeah, stories are important, stories are great. I listen to great stories, I watch movies, I'm captivated by a good story. Maybe I listen to the moth or some other kind of thing like that. And yet what does that really have to do with the nuts and bolts and blocking and tackling of running my business?

Yeah, I mean, I think it really all comes down to one very simple thing and that's trust. I mean, if in order for someone to give you their hard earned money, they got trust you, that's just the way it is. Unless you have them by some other vice grip, which is never pleasant. Right. But yeah, I mean, you, you, you have to build trust. And so look, if you, when I tell you my story and like when I talk from the stage, I kind of tell people my origin story and I cover, you know, towards the end I talk about, you know, and you know, I've, I've been through all this. I've been able to meet and hang out with all these people and most importantly, been able to raise a great family. Here's my wife Christina, and here's our three kids and I, you know, I tell a bunch of different pieces in my story and we in trust. One of the things, one of the biggest, one of the biggest factors in trusting somebody is essentially affinity. What, what are, what do you have in common? Like, what do you like that's the same? You know, if, and we're not all going to be, none of us are gonna be identical for sure. But the more what I call personal hooks, you add into something. So I've had people come up to me after I spoke and they really want to talk to me because they love the island of Barbados. That's where I'm from. I've had people come and talk to me because they love the Florida Gators because I went to the University of Florida. People come talk to me because they're fascinated by Richard Branson or Tony Robbins. And so instantly when you have a, you know, it's like dating. It's like when you have a connection with somebody or even like, you know, when you meet a good friend, you just have this connection is because you have a lot of things in common. Most people's relationships don't last very long or don't ever begin when they have nothing in common. So what you're, by telling a story, you're relating pieces of your life and your business to others so that you can see if there's a common ground. And if there's common ground, you're going to get trust points that someone else wouldn't get. And so I think it all comes down to trust.

So we establish trust and a connection with our stories. People develop an emotional bond. And then, as we well know, people make a lot of decisions emotionally and, and then they back it up with the kinds of facts. So then they look at your solutions and your price points and your attributes of whatever it is, whether you're product or service kind of business, and they back up their emotional decision with some intellectual rationale. So if I want to begin to develop my story, what do I do? How do I find my story if I don't know it? How do I craft it? Well, what are the things we need to know there?

Yeah, I mean, I think you've got to. It's a hard thing to do on your own, quite frankly. I mean, I think you've got to tell your story just to a lot of people. And you don't do it formally, but you can do it in conversation. And, you know, you know, the things, as you tell your story, you know, the things that make people look like they're snoozing and the things that make people, like, lean in a little bit. And I think you just got to figure out, you know, how can I tell, how can I tell the story where I begin at a point that makes sense. So like, yo, you don't have to start with, you know, when I was one month old, I did this when I was, you know, of course. And you don't, you know, you don't give away every first kiss in life. I mean, all these things, you don't do that. But, you know, you tell. It's relevant. I mean, I always say I was born in Barbados. I mean, that started when I was born. But it's an interesting factoid for people like people who are immigrants and have worked hard to build their entrepreneurial, you know, empires. I get an interest, I get an instant trust connection point on that. People who, who don't, who aren't immigrants, let's say, you know, they might still like the island, think, oh, that's a cool thing, let's talk about that. Or they've been there or whatever. Dan Kennedy actually calls us a lot of these names, dog whistles. So things that relate to people, they can hear like, they hear like a dog would hear a dog whistle. But those who aren't interested in that or it doesn't matter to them. It just blows right past them like a human hearing your dog whistle, you don't hear it. And so a lot of people will be afraid of talking about their past or like, you know, if they had troubles with alcohol or they were divorced or they were, you know, typically, if you explain it the right way, those who haven't experienced that will just think it's part of your story and maybe an interesting part of your story. And those who have experienced it will have instant empathy for you. Like, oh, man, I hear you. I'm glad, you know, I'm glad we can connect on that. So, you know, so you got to find some of these touch points that really make people interested. And you got to weave a story from, you know, beginning, middle, and end is a pretty simple thing to do. We've learned story structure, at least subconsciously, our whole life. But what a lot of people tend to do is, you know, there'll be something that kind of pains you in your past for some reason you got made fun of in school, or you filed bankruptcy or you had a divorce or whatever. And essentially, when. When they tell their story, a lot of people will just try to hide these things. And what's interesting is. And they're not appropriate in every situation. But I kind of put it this way. You know, everyone has kind of a unique. A unique purpose for themselves and just for like the visual say, you know, kind of unique white that emanating from you. I'm not gonna get woo on you or anything here, but I have this unique light. And we have all these things that happen in life that causes to close, close off a little bit of ourselves, a little bit of our story. Those are kind of like screen doors. And interestingly, as you go on through life and you. And you start putting those screens up, then less and less of your ability to your authentic self that's really unique and gifted and things shines through to other people. And so as you start telling your story, you start removing some of the screen doors, you'll start to see that people will connect with you much faster. They'll connect with you much more authentically. And it just works. And so start with what matters. I think you and I were talking a little bit before this, and I think a great place to start when telling your story is, you know, starting in a moment of crisis or a moment of amazing, you know, amazing achievement and then backing up to see where that came from. And then, you know, at the end you can go and say, and here's what, you know, my vision for the future is because interestingly, a lot of people also don't ever talk about where they see things in their industry going in the future or what their vision is for the future and what you're subconsciously telling your, your fans, your clients, your prospects, your listener, your viewer that you really don't have any vision for the future and so you're probably not the one to follow. And so one thing a lot of people forget when telling their story, yeah, they're good at telling what happened in the past, but they're not great at forecasting in the future. And you'll find as you do that there's nothing people are more fascinated by than kind of a prediction of the future. I mean, if you, you know, if you start a conversation right now and you have a knowledge base of, you know, Uber and Google and self driving cars and what's going to happen when they're here because you won't really, you won't even need to own a car because you'll be able to have a car demand. They really won't need to have any insurance. You'll take things like, you know, if I'm going on a business trip, I might conjure up a self driving car that has a desk in it or four chairs around a table so we can meet or we might conjure up, if I'm going on a long trip, I might conjure up a car with a bed in it so I can sleep overnight while it gets me to this destination 12 hours away. Or, and now that's just a, I'm just making an example. But you know, those, probably those topics right there are enough for us to have an intriguing conversation for several hours to think about what this really means and leads to no parking garages anymore. They're probably not going to need them. And so when you are able to talk about things in your industry and have kind of a cast vision, that's a few steps or maybe many steps beyond what other people thought about it. It's instant intrigue and then the questions start coming. So those are a few things I encourage clients to do in tone of storage.

That's really fabulous stuff. So a few things that I heard in there that I think are particularly powerful. So first of all bring some reality to it, some color, some imagery and share some actual facts. And I think this is really helpful. People will talk about and they'll report things kind of dryly like I have two children and I'm married and blah, blah, blah. And that's different than saying, you know, I have a 17 year old daughter and a 19 year old son. And my daughter is really, her name's Sophie and she's super artistic. My son is brilliant at math and his name's Jack, right. That's very different than I have two teenagers or I'm married, you know, I'm married for 21, almost 22 years to the most amazing woman, Laurie. And so we create a picture. You say I'm from Barbados, right. And that's different than saying I grew up on an island. That maybe raises more questions or I was born outside the US raises a question. But you create a picture with something by putting actual names, places, giving a little more richness to it than we often do, actually sharing something rather than reporting on it. And then the next thing was, and I think Bridges beautifully you talked about starting to have the courage and the capacity to share versus report on things a little bit more. So you're talking about and you're being able to share things that were maybe difficult, embarrassing, confronting moments of failure, moments of crisis and so on, and finding ways to open up a little bit about those. Some of you who know me well know that I'll talk about profound moments of crisis and stuff in front of a thousand people and just ball my head off, you know, on stage. And. And some people are like, oh my God, that's so weird. But most people are left with that's courageous, that's strong to be able to do that. Not that's weak to cry, but that's strong. And so finding an ability to talk about things where you weren't is really authenticity. And authenticity is a big buzzword right now, right? It takes courage, it takes vulnerability to be authentic. But it's very different from being sincere. Sincere, which is saying something earnestly or whatever. It's actually being open about what's a moment of difficulty or a challenge or a failing or a weakness or that kind of thing. And that it begins to alter, it creates humanity and connection and so on. And then you talked about taking people through the story, perhaps grabbing them with something in the beginning, that one of those moments of crisis, then setting up the whole, creating the whole picture of it and then going through to a view of the future or what the story makes available or points to, that's different. And then through the whole thing, being able to throw off those limits that come from the decisions or pain points in life, like, oh, I had that happen. So I asked that girl to dance in the seventh grade and she laughed and snickered with her friends. And. And so I got very strategic about that, like throwing away those kinds of filters or limitations that we have for dealing with life and starting to get bold and courageous and open up and then be able to speak. A future that your company, your business, your service represents that even goes beyond what you have today, that truly inspires people, captivates people and engages them in the continuation of a story beyond you than where it is now.

Yeah, absolutely. And it's funny. And maybe I don't think I've ever explained. Well, I know I haven't explained this way, but so one of the ways I open up on stage and every time I speak is yo, you know, I'm Nick Nanton. I'm actually was born in Barbados and. And my family came to. My family came to Barbados as Welsh pirates in the 1600s. True story. So they're for over 300 years. And it's funny, as I was growing up, you know, we moved to America when I was one. But as I was growing up, my dad kept asking what I wanted to be and I kept telling want to be a pirate. And funny thing about. So the older I got, the funnier it was to me and the less funny it was to him. He came up to me and said, hey Nick, I finally know what you're gonna be. I said, what's that, dad? He said, a lawyer. That way you can still pillage. Put him to. That's my only bad lawyer joke for the day. But I started that. It's funny. I've never explained to people. I don't even think I realized. But as I was thinking as you were talking, you know what that does is first of all it says the Barbados thing which. But it gets it out as non threatening. It's pretty interesting that you know, family came, there's Welsh fires in the 1600s. You can see I have a relationship with my dad. That's always a good sign. Usually, you know, I mean if you don't have a relationship with your parents, that's another, another story arc. But okay, he's got his dad relationship with his parents. Okay, that's good. And the fact that I make a joke of it and then I make, then I make a joke of lawyers and I am a lawyer. And people, people can instantly say okay, this guy. You know, they might think I'm funny, but they're saying, okay, this guy doesn't take him too serious himself too seriously. And it disarms them to be ready to hear more. And so just a simple short story like that, you know, gets. You know, gets you far.

Yeah, it's terrific. So little color, a little bridge, your personal things, the reality of things, into something beyond. Create that connection, Tell the story and start to use it and leverage it. And obviously, as you get good at it over time, it can be quite compelling.

Yeah. Yep.

Brilliant. Well, that's where to get started. The book is story selling. The company is Dixon Nanton. We'll have links to everything up in the show, notes for the podcast. What there is to do right now is to get started figuring out what your story is, practicing it, telling it to other people, honing it, figuring out what parts make people laugh and cry and what touch them and what inspired them and. And so on, and getting bolder and stronger in the whole telling of it. Thanks so much for being on the show and for helping us to begin this process for folks.

Oh, man. Thanks for having me. I'm happy to do it. And thank you for a great interview.

Fantastic. Sa.