When Things Breakdown and You Get Stuck

When everything breaks down all at once or when you get stuck, I've got three questions that'll get you unstuck, that'll get you back, that'll help you start to set things right again. So maybe everything's broken down at once. Maybe a little bit's broken down. I'm going to help you with that. In what has worked for me and the people that I've coached over. Over the years, three simple questions that'll help you start to get back on a path of workability and power and all of that. Everybody, my name is Bill Gallagher. I'm the Scaling coach and host of the Scaling Up Business podcast. Our show comes to you every week, and we share some ideas, some tips, some stories, we bring guests, that kind of thing to help you grow your business and do it without suffering, without sacrificing. The things that really matter, matter to you. So you'll find all our shows and more. Wherever you're getting this right now, like, subscribe, turn on your notifications or go to scalingcoach.com @scalingcoach.com is our website, and it's where you can sign up for our workshops and find out about our coaching, things like that. So this here, wherever you go. All right, so I guess I could start off. I'll tell you about a client that I coached years ago. Um, it's. He's a representative of many. I'll call him Alex just to keep him anonymous in this case. But Alex, in one bad week, went from confident and in action to completely stuck and pretending. So I. I've been coaching Alex for. For a while. He was a new CEO of a company, and. And I've been brought in by the board to work with him. And he was a great. Like, he took it on and embraced the coaching full. And we had great sessions. And then one week, everything went off. And when I met with Alex the next time, he just seemed off, and he was kind of going through the motions. And I said, hey, what's going on with you? This is not the normal Alex. And he stopped. And he's like, yeah. He's like, I don't know. I think that maybe this is. I'm the wrong person for this job, for this company, for this role, and I think I need to move on. And I was like, wow, that is really different than the person I've been talking to for a few months. And he's like, yeah, it finally came to me. I'm the wrong person. And I'm like, wow, this is, like, for me it felt really new for him. It was like. It finally came to me. Like, it's been cooking there, right? I'm like, okay, pause. I got it. Maybe you are. Maybe it's time to move on. But. But let's dig into this a little bit. Let's look at it. So what happened and when did this change? And it took him a minute because he's just, like, full of where I'm going to go, how I'm going to end this thing, how I'm going to exit this company. He's way down that road. And he hadn't really noticed when and where it changed, but it changed because a couple weeks earlier, everything was fine that I talked to him. He was, like, in action and had ideas and plans and passion. And now I'm talking to a guy who's, like, stuck, broken, and feeling like a failure, and he's ready to move on. So Alex paused. He's like, okay, well, I guess it kind of started to shift for me when I was doing this thing. So he went to pitch a big account. He really needed this thing he'd been counting on. He'd been working on this big account, this big deal, right? He wasn't the primary salesperson, but he certainly worked on key things as the CEO for the company. This is a big deal. And it went badly. And at least for the moment, he lost that opportunity. And then he didn't tell anyone. He got private about it. He kept it to himself. He felt like a failure. He didn't know what was off. And his whole demeanor, his outlook started to shift from that moment. He didn't see that until I asked till he started thinking about it. So he started to take stock of the situation. He started to think about that, and then he started to shift down and get totally, like, off. So I said, wow, look at all that. And so he started to notice that he had shifted there and that things were off now. That started to give him some presence, some peace, some ability to look at things more. And in a matter of, I don't know, a few minutes, it wasn't that long of a conversation. He started to take stock of all the things that were good and all the things that were bad and started to think about what's missing in the company and in himself right now. And then we started to look at so what was possible in the face of everything that's good and bad. And that's when Alex saw a whole thing for himself. So let me hold the resolution for a second, and then let's Pull out what happened there. So the first thing is to fully take stock of the situation. So we know we begin with the hard and broken things, right? So what's hard, what's broken, what's not working? So all the bad stuff. Bad stuff, Hard, broken, not easy like that, missing, failed, et cetera. Take stock of that stuff. Okay, good. Now what's easy and working? I'd love to start there, but you might not be able to if wherever you start, like if you start on the bad stuff because you're stuck, that's fine. Now let's go over to and take a little effort to notice what's actually easy and working. You will notice some things, right? You will notice a variety of things that if you take a minute, even if you're feeling pretty dark, depressed, sad, stuck, frustrated, however you're feeling, you'll start to notice some things that are easy, that are working. There's. It's not completely hopeless, right? You can also go personally and in not just the business problem, that realm, but you can also just look at the environment around you. Like when the world seems crazy, sometimes it helps me to notice the sun, the trees, the wind, things like that, right? So let's take stock of and. And expand a little bit. What's easy and working now that we have the good and the bad, that's the first thing. The circumstances, the particulars. Now let's look at what's missing. So what was missing for Alex in that time, right? What's missing for you would be like confidence, positivity, honesty. What was missing for him right now? So we start to think about what's missing there and things like that, like positivity, a plan, good expectations, openness, creativity, collaboration, honesty. We got a list of things that are missing right now. That's the second thing. What's missing right from this picture? And that's like a deficit. It's very related to the hard or broken. And the most useful thing to think about what's missing is to take a look in the mirror. There will be circumstances that are missing, right? But as much as you can look at what's missing with you, with the one in the mirror, right? So Alex did the same and he saw those kinds of things right? Now, what is possible in the face of everything that's good a bit. Not like, let's power over things and pretend something and do a power pose and psych ourself up and like be positive when we're not positive. Look, if you're, if you're sad, if you're a little hopeless. If you're a little depressed, fine, be that way for now. So that's not possible. It's not possible to pretend or fake something. You might. Some people would talk about that. I don't think that's very helpful. And it takes a lot more effort. I'm talking about what's possible in the face of everything good and bad that's there right now that you hadn't considered. And we do that by looking at the things that are missing when you look at what's missing there. Like Alex looked at honesty, creativity, those are missing. And even having failed at something and being sad at it about it and feeling like a failure, he could be honest, right? Who could he be honest with? Well, he could be honest with himself, he could be honest with his spouse, he could be honest with his team, and that would be interesting. That would be liberating. He could say to his team, I screwed up something. I've been really depressed. I've been moping around and keeping it private, and I feel like I'm not being very creative or collaborative. So honesty is like one of the first things. It's often a useful missing thing when we want to get unstuck when we get restart. But honesty is often a quick thing to look for that's missing, that is possible. So he just was honest about how he's feeling in the failure. He didn't necessarily have to be honest about, oh, I'm thinking about quitting, or whatever. It was sufficient to tell the team, I've been feeling really depressed and like a failure. That's plenty sufficient to go open up something. It's plenty sufficient to say, I notice I'm not very collaborative. I notice I'm not very creative, right? And I'm feeling stuck. Like that alone made all kinds of things that was possible for Alex, being honest in the face of it now that also it was also possible for him to allow creativity, for him to allow collaboration. So honesty and collaboration were possible. And another thing was also possible that Alex saw you might see something too, and that was committing to something. So his commitment was missing, Right. He was holding back his commitment, thinking about quitting. And so he could actually say, I'm feeling bad, I feel like a failure. I'm not being very collaborative or creative right now, but I want you to know that I'm not going to quit, that I'm here and I need your help. Right? So I did that once when things were really, really bleak in a past company. I led and admitted to people I Was stuck and I didn't have a plan, but I left him with my stand, my commitment, my honesty. And it turned out to be one of the most powerful, brilliant, passionate, like moments. The team rallied. We produced an extraordinary breakthrough over the next 12 months. Well, the same thing happened for Alex. He went to his team, he told them, listen, something went bad, I'm stuck. I've been keeping it private. I'm going to be honest with you, and I don't really have a good idea and I'm not being very collaborative right now, but I'm coming to you now because I'm not quitting. You can count on me to find a way through this. I need your help. Right. Powerful things shifted very rapidly. Within the next four weeks, things were back on track. I can't remember if they got that deal back or it was just something else, but it all turned around within four weeks. It's been some years since the Alex story, but it's. It really stands out for me in memory as one, as did my own. Like the thing that I did with the company where I came and I confessed that it was in the mid early 2000s and we totally turned around and now it took a few more months to turn it around, but we had a big crisis and I. I left people with my honesty, my communication, my collaboration, my stand, my commitment to fight to the bitter end. People love that. They came on board. So when you get stuck, when everything breaks down, the way out is three questions. So the first is to kind of take in what's easy and working what's hard and broken the what. So take in the facts, right? Then look at what's missing and now consider what's possible. Not faking it or powering through it, but what's possible. And from the missing, from the things that are missing that would actually, like, light you up, that would start to open up something for you. I hope that formula works for you. It worked for Alex, it worked for me, it worked for many, many people I've coached over the years. If you're feeling stuck when things break down, these are the three questions that will help you start to get back on a powerful stance, turning things around and making a real difference. I'm Bill Gallagher, Scaling coach and hope it's helpful for you. If you want more, that kind of thing, go to scalingcoach.com find out about our coaching, our workshops, things like that. Otherwise, like subscribe, share this with somebody else that you think would help for them. And until next time, keep scaling.