Blake Robert Templeton describes the shepherd role in relationships: stop problem-solving, take fifteen uninterrupted minutes with your partner, ask one meaningful question, and listen without fixing anything. Just receiving what she says builds gratitude and deeper connection.
When you actually come in warrior with the bow and arrow to solve the problems, what she actually needs is what we call shepherd. It's the third primal role. And if you don't have shepherd, most guys, 99% of guys don't even have that role activated. But the best thing to do in act shepherd is realize you need to call a timeout and you need to spend 15 minutes with no interruptions. Ask her one quality question and let her talk. Then you begin to observe and appreciate the glory coming off of her. No solution, just receiving the beauty and the gratitude that you've got one here that loves you and will actually talk.
