Blake Robert Templeton argues that marital conflict stems from how a husband interprets the problem, not the problem itself. He contrasts a "warrior" mindset that attacks issues head-on with a "king" perspective that steps back and questions the story he's telling himself. Reframing the narrative changes the emotional response.
The fight in a guy's marriage isn't the problem, it's his interpretation. So he's stuck in the primal role of warrior wearing his armor to kill the animal, to shoot the problem, to solve the solution. So meaning creates emotion more than the moment itself. He's got to realize instead of assuming his first emotion is to solve that problem or a story must be true, he must ask the quality question, step back in the role of king, look over the kingdom and say, what's What story am I actually telling myself right now? Or what actually would be a better solution right now from the lens as I look over the kingdom? 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." So the thing is not the thing. Quit fighting and step back and have a new way of thinking about it.
