Blake R Templeton tells the story of Robert, a passive husband whose wife felt unseen and unfeminine. Templeton argues that Christian men often mistake niceness for leadership, and that wives need husbands who are emotionally present and strong enough to make them feel safe.
Attraction fades when leadership disappears. I was talking to a guy named Robert, and he'd been married 29 years. And he's like, man, my wife just came to me and said, hey, here's the ultimatum. If you don't fix your crap, I'm walking. And he's like, man, she's Type A. I just thought she was good at administration. And so I kind of let her run the house. And he's like, I became the Christian nice guy. And there's a book called Christian Nice Guy. And it's this passivity of a man where he literally thinks, man, my mom My mom did everything for me. My wife does everything for me. This is great. They're so good at that. Not realizing his wife is literally being terrorized by the enemy because she's like, I'm unseen. I'm not beautiful. I'm not valuable. I'm having to play the masculine role and it doesn't feel right and I'm dying inside. And so Robert had to come to this point of realizing everything in his life had to shift. The lion inside of him had to come back alive. Like he had to realize he had to own his kingdom. He had to provide her the place of safety where she can go be feminine and not have to be the warrior. And when that changes, her entire framework changes. Her attraction comes back. She feels seen. She feels loved. She now can be feminine and he can be masculine.
