Blake R. Templeton argues men can't expect emotional softness from partners while staying emotionally hard themselves. He describes five roles: Warrior, King, Lover, Shepherd, and Servant. The Warrior protects the outside world, but at home a man needs to shift into King, Lover, Shepherd, and Servant so his partner can relax and flourish.
I know. So you can't unlock her softness while you stay emotionally hard. Like, guys are like, man, this is just who I am. No, you've got to actually transform when you come home. There's 5 primal roles of a man. One is a warrior and one is a king. These 2 function completely different. The warrior is to provide and protect, but at home, he has to actually have already provided the location where there is safety. So you don't bring warrior home. That's like shooting the bow and arrow in the house, trying to solve everyone's problems. No one has problems. Like everything that's happening in the house to them is not a problem for you to come in and shoot. She needs the king who she can fall into your arms in safety. She needs the lover prince who she can actually, you know, distance herself from the chaos of the world and come into this intimate place of affection and romance and attraction. She needs the shepherd who can help her navigate her heart. She needs the servant who can help her tend to the things that she would normally be having to do in the unseen. So that's what she has to have at home. When she gets that, she's able to flourish in all her beauty, her excitement, her attraction, and fervor.
