Blake Robert Templeton argues men damage marriages by trying to fix their wives' problems instead of listening. He contrasts the "warrior" approach with a "shepherd" role: stay present, ask one good question, and let her feel heard rather than solved.
See, most men destroy connection trying to actually fix things too fast. So when a guy steps into the primal role of warrior, it's like he has a bow and arrow out, and that speed to solve the problem in the marriage, it kills her safety. Instead, you gotta shift to the primal role shepherd. So instead of rushing in to solve her problems, realize she has feelings and ask a single question. Like, the rudder of a boat is the question. You want to turn the boat, ask the the right question, stay present with no solution coming from you. It's like James 1:19, "Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak."
