3 Ways to Write about People in Your Book

Whether you're writing a memoir or just sharing elements of your story in your book, you'll probably have to include some stories about other people. When you do that, you'll likely want to avoid any blowback, small or large. While there's no guarantee that you won't ruffle feathers, there are ways to handle talking about other people in your book that can make your life a little easier and a little less risky. If you're wondering what to do when you write about other people, well, this video is for you. Hey there. I'm Julie the Book Broad, founder of Book Launchers. One of the things we do is help you write a book. We have a wonderful team of writers and writing coaches, all trained in our noboringbooks process, who will help you with the words, stories, emotions, and challenges that arise in this process. In that journey of putting the words on the page, one of the things you have to decide is how to share elements of your story that bring in other people. Because if you water it down too much, you won't have the impact you want. But if you tell it like you lived it well, people might get mad, hurt, or even seek legal action. All right, so number one, please don't let the worry of what other people will think of your stories, especially when the stories are about them, stop you from writing. Get that draft down from your head onto the paper. There's a therapeutic element to just writing it raw and even including harsh feelings and judgments. It's a bad first draft. It's not the book. The cool part about doing this and giving yourself permission to write it raw with no fear is that you actually might realize the story about your ex or your mom or your former business partner doesn't need to be told at all. Or it can be told in a way that really minimizes any risk of blowback. We often have really strong emotions attached to certain elements of our story, but they lose their power on the page. Or when you think about what the reader really needs to know to get your point, you realize they don't need the detail that you wanted to share because you were emotionally attached to it. If you let the worry of what they might think stop you from even writing, you're missing a major opportunity to heal and to even see what the book actually is. And if you're worried about being sued, well, the reality is anybody can sue. But for a lawyer and a judge to take on the case, they are going to have to prove that not only you lied, but you lied on purpose, and the lie damaged them. Financially or their reputation. Especially. Especially if you stick with Tip two. So the first tip is write it down. Then work through what needs to be there and what doesn't. The help of a coach or an editor can be hugely beneficial with this because they're not emotionally attached to the story. So tip 2 show don't tell as much as you can. Instead of saying someone was a jerk or that they were abusive, just tell a factual story of what happened and let the reader draw their own conclusion. Tell your perspective of what happened and not your speculation as to why someone else behaved the way they did and how horrible that was. Stick to the impact on you. Really, this is a far more powerful technique to create a connection with your reader. Anyway, it's much better storytelling. So if your former boss walked in the room swearing and yelling at you for not turning your report in on the hour, just tell the story. You don't need to say my boss was a mean and a abusive if you find yourself wanting to label someone, take a step back and ask yourself, how can I show this and not have to state it? When it comes to writing about family, I can almost guarantee someone is going to get upset. I'm sorry, it's just the way it is. If you're writing about your life. Everyone has their own lens that they experience life through. They have stories that you don't know about and people are sensitive creatures. Even if you say nice things about everyone, someone will be upset that you said nicer things about Aunt Sally than you did about them. Which brings me to the third and final tip I have for you, and that is to blur the details of who you are talking about when you know it's going to be sensitive. Now this doesn't work if you're writing about your brother and you have to disclose that it's your brother. But it can work. To say a member of my family or or a friend or someone I met or a client and you can refer to them even as the opposite sex or just say they or them. Likely the person will figure out who you're talking about and might have feelings about what you say, but nobody else will know and you'll have to realize that their feelings are their feelings and you didn't write the book for them, you wrote it for your reader and for you. Most importantly, write your book. It's your book, it's your memory, your experience of what happened to you. Your reader will only benefit if you get the book done and into the world and you share some of those personal experiences. Have you written a memoir? How have you handled the stories you've told about other people? Let's chat about it in the comments below. And when you comment the day a video is released, you get entered to win some of our beautiful no Boringbook swag or some of our books. And you can also become part of my elusive YouTube bestie family. Now this video on Mistakes to Avoid as a memoir writer, and this one is the latest and greatest from the channel, and both are guaranteed good viewing, so click on over. I'll see you there.