My First Wedding, Relationships And Public Speaking - TDBS 30 April 2017

What's going on everyone? Welcome back to day 89 of the podcast. It is, I think, April 30th, 2017, and it's fairly late tonight where I am, 9:18 at night. I've just got back within the last hour or so from the wedding I was at over the weekend, which was about 2 hours drive from where I live, and it was a phenomenal weekend. I'm incredibly tired right now, so this one will probably be a relatively short episode, and if I yawn in it, I'm sorry. It was a big weekend. It was the first wedding I've ever been to and it was really good fun. I tell you, something that I really enjoyed about the wedding was just watching people get up and share their emotions about how much love there was with the family and how much love the bride and the groom had for each other. That was a really big thing for me. And there was moments where I teared up, especially during the ceremony. I mean, it was my first wedding ceremony I'd actually ever attended, so I didn't know what to expect. And when the groom was watching the bride walk down the aisle, I could see him tearing up, and so that sort of made me emotional. And then when they were reading their vows to each other and sort of told stories about how much they love each other and how much they're sort of going to support each other for the rest of their lives, that That was a big moment for me as well. It really, it really struck a nerve. It's— I find I get most emotional when I see other people getting emotional or getting excited or something like that. It's— I don't really— I get sad emotional sometimes, but I think I get more happy emotional, like as in I cry for happy things more often than I do for sad things. And maybe that's because I tend to steer away from sad things. I don't really watch sad movies. I don't watch sad YouTube videos. I watch happy, happy things. And I don't know, maybe that's just my nature. I'm an optimist, but at the moment I was having like pessimistic thoughts on the way home just because I was so tired. I probably shouldn't have been driving. Like the last couple of nights we were partying, drinking, not something I usually do, but you gotta You gotta have fun, right? You gotta have fun a little bit. And they're even staying another night for tonight, which I had the option of doing, but the workaholic in me decided to come back after I'd spent 2 nights there, and I think, I think that was enough for me. So now I've got to come back. Oh well, I decided I'm going to come back and get back to work on the projects that I'm working on and learning how to, how to program and whatnot, learning about deep learning and stuff like that. Because I definitely could have stayed there and I knew I would have, you know, you know when you're in that moment where it's like you have two minds, you have, I definitely wanted to go down for at least two days at the start. I said to myself I'd come back today from the start, so my expectations have been set. But when you're in two minds about, say you get invited to a party but you know you have to do something else, I feel like the way I make decisions is if I know I'm going to be at that party thinking about the the other thing that I should be doing rather than being fully invested in that party, then I'm going to say no. So, I had two great nights, caught up with some amazing people. I'm so lucky to have those sort of people in my life, like those families, friends, they're all amazing. I was the youngest person at the wedding, I'm pretty sure, apart from— actually, yeah, I probably was. I probably was. And it was awesome to meet some amazing people. I even got a shout out by the MC to say that Welcome to your first wedding. And the wedding, the one I just went to, was— it set the bar high for weddings. And another thing that inspired me was seeing people get up and do speeches. And that's, that's one of the main reasons I started the podcast. I actually got on to talking with one of the guests that I was sitting next to and told him about the podcast and said, yeah, I've got— I do a podcast every day. And they were sort of blown away by it. In the past, I've been sort of withheld to share that, right? It's— I get nervous the fact that I start talking about I've got work published online, and I don't know why that is. I've been doing it for almost 3 months now, 90 days. Today's day 89, but I still sort of get nervous. I still haven't clicked in that mindset to say, okay, I have my own podcast, I'm a podcaster now, or I make YouTube videos, I'm a YouTuber now. Or whatever. I don't know. I haven't been the biggest fan of labels. Maybe I'm too humble for these things. I'm not sure. I can't really describe it, or maybe I'm just scared. I think it's fundamentally, I'm just scared of what other people will think. But where was I going with this? Yeah, so, which I've got to get rid of. I've been trying to keep on doing it, and I think it's a practice. It's a practice. It's like meditation. It's only that you only get better with time. The growth is is slow and exponential. So once you keep doing it and doing it and doing it, beating down on your craft, you get better and better at not caring about what other people think, or you get better at balancing out. Because don't get me wrong, I care about what, what some people think, and at the same time I don't care about what anyone thinks. And I think there's, there's value in the middle line there, right? You've got to take into consideration what other people think at the same time as if you you want to choose what you want to do, you got to not care. So, keep getting sidetracked. The public speaking side of things, that's one of the main reasons I started this podcast was to get better at public speaking. And I feel like I'm slowly, slowly, slowly improving. And especially the fact that it's a daily practice, because if it was weekly, maybe I wouldn't take it as seriously, but because it's every day at the moment. I believe I'm forming a good habit in being able to talk without any prompts. So, right now I haven't got any prompts except for the stories in my head or the way that I'm thinking. And that's what I think the best speeches are as well. And I was watching people speak and a few of them had written speeches and they spoke very well with their written speeches, but then when you could tell when they went on impromptu style, like, and just disregarded their speech, the audience was much more receptive. I'm not sure why that is. I think that's just human nature. We— if we're— if we can tell that, like, when you type something, you write it in a different way than what you'd speak it. And unless you're a very good speechwriter, of course. But that's what I've been trying to do with the podcast as well, is just write down a few dot points and speak to those dot points. Because you talk, you talk best when you relate what you're talking about to your stories and your experiences and things that you know, right? Just genuinely things that you know. Because it's, it's, as anyone's ever done in the past, you've probably experienced this, is if you're talking about something you don't know That's when you stuff up the sentences. That's when you need the written-out speech, every single line. One of my good friends there, the Jaguar, he had an amazing speech and he even said at the start, he's like, "I got this speech written, but I believe that impromptu is the best style, so most of this is going to be impromptu." Same with the groom. The groom had a whole bunch of notes written down, but he's like, "I don't need this," and the groom's a very extroverted person and all awesome speaker, and he winged it and did an amazing job. Everyone was engaged. He was a little bit drunk, but everyone was still engaged because it wasn't just reading off the piece of paper. And that's, I don't know, that's just two of my main takeaways is just the fact is how significant love is in life. It's like the number one thing, like love love and happiness, they go hand in hand, and public speaking. Oh, and of course, people. People, but people, I'll put people under the love banner. And so, as I was leaving, I actually had a nap and then sort of snuck out without saying goodbye, proper goodbyes to everyone, because there's just so many people there. And I did that because I wanted to I didn't want to get stuck. Now, I know it's rude, but I sort of just wanted to go home without being sort of everyone having to say, "Oh, I'm not staying tonight." I just want to sort of leave and come home. So, I just sort of snuck out. So, if anyone's from the wedding listening to this and I didn't say a proper goodbye to you, please don't take offense, but I just had to sneak out and get back home so I could do this podcast. And tomorrow I'm going to get back into some study. I had an amazing weekend. You guys all made it the best weekend ever, if you're listening. But that's something that, like, I kind of— I felt bad. I felt bad for doing that, but I guess that's just what you got to take sometimes. You gotta That's a lesson I've learned just now, is that I was in two minds when I was leaving. I was like, oh, should I go say goodbye? Should I just leave? And sort of I got— I became lazy and decided to just leave. And then when I got home, I realized it wouldn't have been that hard to go and say goodbye to everyone. But that's alright, we had a great time while we were there. I think the formality of saying goodbye, it shouldn't take away from the great experiences that we had. And it probably— one of the reasons I felt bad is because something's so true to me over the past year. I've realized, or whatever, how long— the time doesn't really matter, but recently I started to, to really realize how significant relationships are in, in my life. And like, relationships are, in my eyes, the the best, the most valuable currency there ever is. So if you work on your relationships with other people, you'll be rich no matter what you do. So that's, that's something I got to work on. I should have said goodbye. That's probably damaged the relationships, but that's alright. I'll keep that in mind for the future. But what's today's daily challenge? Think about the relationships in your life and Think about one way that you can improve one of them by 1%, whether it be just saying, "Hey, I was thinking about you today," or whatever it is. Make someone a cup of tea out of the blue, show up to their house out of the blue. How can you improve one of your existing relationships by 1%? So, thank you all for listening. Thank you all for watching. I'm about to go— I'm going to edit this podcast, go to bed, and I'll get back into studying, and I'll see you tomorrow. It's day 90. 3 months of podcasting. Can you call it 3 months? 90 days is about 3 months anyway. Nonetheless, love you all. Tell someone else you love them, and I'll catch you tomorrow.