Brian Tracy argues that stress and unhappiness come from acting against your true values. When you align your goals and daily activities with what you actually believe in, you get confidence and calm. The talk includes a practical exercise to clarify your values and check if your outer life matches your inner beliefs.
Did you know that high self esteem requires that you have clear values, virtues and ideals to which you're committed and by which you live? Your values lie at the core of your personality. Top performers in all areas are very clear about who they are and what they stand for and what they believe in. They have clear values and virtues that they will not compromise for any reason. Because you are a top performer, you know what you stand for and what you will not stand for. You know what you believe in and in what order of importance. The interesting thing is that much of your stress or unhappiness in life comes when you deviate away from your true values, from what you know to be good and true deep down within yourself. Men and women with high self esteem are very clear about what they believe in. And the higher your values and ideals are, the more committed you become to living your life consistent with those values and ideals. And then the more you like and respect yourself and the higher your self esteem will be. Lasting self esteem and high levels of personal performance are only possible when your goals and your values are congruent. That is when they fit together like a hand into a glove. Much of the stress that people experience comes from believing one thing down deep and trying to do something else that is not consistent or aligned with their real values. When you bring your goals and values into alignment, you feel a wonderful sense of calmness, confidence and personal power. That is when you begin to make real progress. Perhaps the core personal value is integrity. And your integrity is always expressed in your level of truthfulness. Top people always tell the truth, no matter what the temptation or the external circumstances. They refuse to shade the truth, exaggerate, or be dishonest in any way. The wonderful thing is that the more you live in truth with yourself and others, the greater peace of mind and happiness you experience and the more confidence and energy you have. And the best of all with regard to integrity is that you will be more respected and esteemed by the most important people in your life. Stephen Covey says that the key to being trusted is to be trustworthy. You become trustworthy by being the kind of person who everyone trusts and believes in completely because they know that whatever you say, it will always be the truth. Once you're clear about your values and your beliefs, you then set your goals for the outside world and you organize your activities in such a way that they are in harmony with those values. You do what you know to be right. You only do work that you believe in. You only do things that you care about. Many people find themselves distracted and unmotivated in one job or type of work, and when they change to the right job for them, they suddenly spring into life full of energy, enthusiasm, ambition, and high levels of happiness. You build high self esteem by becoming clear about your values and by organizing your goals and activities around those values. When your outer life becomes congruent with your inner life, you will feel terrific about yourself and start to perform at your best. Now here's an exercise for you. Take some time to become clear about your values and beliefs. Make sure that everything you do in the outer world is in harmony with what you believe to be right and good in your inner world.
