Brian Tracy argues that 85% of success comes from relationships, and charisma works through perception: you attract people and circumstances that match your dominant thoughts. He uses examples like an unrecognized rock star and Mother Teresa to show how reputation shapes how charismatic people seem, then offers concrete steps like listening as if people fascinate you.
Probably 85%.
Hello. I'd like to talk to you now about how you can become a charismatic person and attract more success into your life. What we have found is that there is a close association between personal charisma and success in life. Probably 85% of your success and happiness will come from your relationships and interactions with other people. The more positively others respond to you, the easier it will be for you to get the things you want. In essence, when we discuss charisma, we're talking about the Law of attraction. This law has been stated in many different ways down through the centuries, but it basically says that you inevitably attract into your life the people and circumstances that harmonize with your dominant thoughts. In a sense, you are a living magnet, and you're constantly radiating thought waves. Like a radio station radiates sound waves that are picked up by other people. Your thoughts intensified by your emotions. As radio waves are intensified by electrical impulses, they go out from you and are picked up by anyone who is tuned in to a similar wavelength. You then attract into your life people and ideas and opportunities and resources and circumstances and money and anything else that is consistent with your dominant frame of mind and with your emotionalized thoughts of the moment. This law of attraction also explains how you can build up your levels of charisma so that you can have a greater and more positive impact on the people whose cooperation and support and affection you desire. The critical thing to remember about charisma is that it is largely based on perception. It's based on what people think about you and what people think you really are. It's not so much reality as it is what people perceive you to be. For example, one person can create charisma in another person by speaking in glowing terms about that person to a third party. If you believe that you're about to meet an outstanding and important person, that person will tend to be charismatic when you meet them, even if you've been told a story. For example, sometimes in my seminars, I'll say, imagine that sitting next to you is a person who started with nothing and is now worth $100 million. Drives a Rolls Royce, lives in a beautiful home, has a private jet. He's one of the smartest business people in America or the world. And the reason he's here is because he likes to continue to upgrade his skills. Now, if I told you that the person next to you was this person, you would see and think about this person in a totally different way. You'd say, jeez, it's you. Wow. That person would have tremendous charisma. Because of this reputation that has been created for them. For example, if you walked past a rock star on the sidewalk and you didn't recognize them at all, they would have no impact on you. But if you recognize a real rock star that you really admired and respected, and you would be overwhelmed with the effect that they might have on you. So everything is perception. One of the most charismatic people in the world was Mother Teresa of Calcutta. In a physical sense, she was a quiet, elderly, frail little woman in poor health. She weighed 100 pounds or less, and she wore a modest and used nun's habit with a little head garment covering her hair and so on. She might have been ignored by a person passing her on the street were it not for the tremendous charisma she developed and for the fact that her appearance was so well known to so many people. As a result, I had a good friend who visited her when she was in the hospital in San Diego for heart surgery. He was allowed to meet with her for five minutes as a favor to someone else. He came out afterwards and he said the five minutes changed his life. He resigned from his profession, he quit his job, he moved away and started a whole new life as a result of spending five minutes with a frail older woman in a hospital bed recovering from heart surgery. Because of his belief in her charisma and the one or two words that she told him about loving other people unconditionally. If someone told you that he was going to introduce you to a brilliant self made millionaire who was very quiet and unassuming about his success, he would almost naturally imbue that person with charisma with special abilities. And in his presence you would not act the same as you would if you had been told nothing at all. Charisma begins largely in the mind of the beholder, and you can affect that mental set in the mind of the beholder. Lasting charisma depends more upon the person you really are than upon the things that you do. So continually look for ways to improve others perceptions of you so that you can be more influential with them. Be a living magnet. And here's one more secret to charisma. The more you listen to people and feel and treat them as though they are fascinating, the more they will find you fascinating as well.
