Brian Tracy outlines five steps to handle criticism well: get past the emotional sting, ask how to improve, thank the person, separate useful feedback from pure negativity, and ask for time to fix it. He hired a stage director for a decade to critique his speaking and credits that sustained feedback with transforming his career.
Hello, I'm Brian Tracy and today I want to give you some tips on how to accept constructive criticism. Criticism, even if it's constructive, can sometimes sting if you've poured time, effort or money into something, and it can be tough to hear someone point out its flaws. However, constructive criticism is also incredibly valuable, enabling you to hone whatever it is you are working on and improve it for the better. The next time you receive constructive criticism, or helpful feedback, as they call it, about something that you have grown close to, keep these tips in mind to make the most of it instead of letting it get you down or make you angry for any reason. First, look past your initial reaction. No matter how good you get at accepting constructive criticism, it's almost always going to hurt at first. Human beings hate criticism more than anything else. Many people get bogged down in this initial reaction, growing more offended the more they focus on the criticism they received and becoming defensive rather than using the criticism as an opportunity to improve. It's okay to be a little hurt when you first receive constructive criticism. Just make sure you quickly move past that initial reaction and begin approaching the criticism in a sincere and beneficial manner so that you can learn and grow from it rather than just becoming angry. Second, ask questions about how you can improve. When somebody gives you constructive criticism, you should be quick to ask them how they think you can improve. Most of the time, if a person's critiques are valid, then they may already have an idea in mind for how you can address them. However, they may not share it with you unless you ask. So be sure to delve deeper into a person's criticism or negative opinion, asking them to clarify and for other suggestions. When they do clarify, listen intently and take their suggestions to heart. They may not always be valuable to you, but many times they will be. Many people's lives have been changed over the years by one piece of feedback that set them in a different direction. Third, thank them for their feedback. Although it may be difficult, it's important to be grateful for constructive criticism. After all, it can be incredibly valuable and can save you from costly pain pitfalls down the road. Part of the process of being grateful for constructive criticism, though, is to voice your gratitude. For one, thanking a person for their feedback will go a long way to helping you accept it and make the most of it. When you say thank you for your comment, you go completely neutral. You're not angry, you're not upset, you're not anything. Thank you is a wonderful word or words. In addition to this, though, you will show the person that you truly appreciate their input, which will make them more likely to further help you later on. The truth is that most people are hesitant to offer feedback in the form of constructive criticism, even if they see something that you can change dramatically and improve, because they recognize that it opens them up to criticism as well. If you show, though, that you are gracious in the face of criticism and even appreciate it, chances are they will continue to be honest with you in the future, and honesty is invaluable. Fourth, distinguish between useful criticism and useless criticism. It's a sad reality that there will always be people who criticize just for the sake of criticizing. They come from negative backgrounds, negative families, negative experiences, and so they're always looking for something that is not correct. No matter how good your work is. These people will find flaws where flaws do not really exist and gleefully point them out. This type of criticism is not the same as constructive criticism and it offers little value. If you're certain that a person's criticisms are unfounded, smile, thank them, and move on. With that said, it's essential that you do not fall prey to the temptation of seeing all criticism as unfounded. The truth is that most criticism you receive will be genuine and well meaning. Determining the difference between constructive criticism and useless criticism takes a lot of honest introspection and analysis and involves putting your emotions and your attachments aside. You know, what is the philosophy of Buddhism? It is detachment, which is standing back from what is happening around you and not becoming emotionally involved. This works really well for any kind of negative feedback or criticism. If you can do it though, and be honest in the process, then it's well worth the effort. Fifth, ask for time to address their concerns. After a person has pointed out a flaw in your work or your results, you have taken the time to ask them any questions that they may have and you have thanked them for their feedback. Now ask them for time to address their concerns and and schedule a time where you can present them with your revised edition. For one, doing this will help further cement the fact that you truly value their feedback and are taking their concerns to heart. It will also give you the opportunity to go back and analyze your work and make the necessary improvements and present it to them a second time. This time they may be completely satisfied with it, or they may offer further feedback. Either way, you'll be prepared to do what it takes to deliver the best possible finished result. Now let me give you a story of mine, and it was with regard to professional speaking. I met a man some years ago who was very, very skilled at directing stage plays and he directed every single player on every single stage play. And he offered to give me some feedback, mostly constructive or destructive feedback on my speaking. And I hired him and I paid him an enormous amount of money over a period of 10 years. And the criticism that I got from him on how to improve my speaking was the most priceless feedback I had in my entire life. It made me one of the most successful speakers in the world because every single week we would take a couple of hours and I would speak and he would critique me and I would speak and he would Critique me. After 10 years, people were saying that you your speaking style is astonishing. So be open to feedback because it may change your life. Now, before we wrap up, I'd like to leave you with a thought to share with your friends and followers. Dedicate yourself to continuous improvement. You are your most precious resource. Now I'd love to hear from you. So my question today is, have you ever received feedback that you didn't like or didn't want to hear? How did you deal with it? Leave a comment below below and I'll be sure to follow up with you. Thanks for watching. And remember, if you want to change your future, take action. And take action now. If you enjoyed this video and feel it was valuable in teaching you about how to receive feedback, subscribe to my channel like this video and share this video with your friends. Don't forget to click the button on the screen for a free gift. Thanks again for watching.
