Brian Tracy explains that the single most important quality for improving people skills is charm — the ability to make others feel important. He presents a practical mnemonic, the five A's: Acceptance (unconditional positive regard; e.g., smile), Appreciation (say "thank you" frequently), Approval (give praise), Admiration (offer sincere compliments), and Attention (give full, focused listening). The video closes with a viewer question, subscription/CTA prompts, and links to a free guide and BrianTracy.com.
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The fastest way to improve your relationships is to make other people feel important in every way possible. Hello, I'm Brian Tracy and today I want to talk to you about the single most important quality to possess when trying to improve your people skills. And this quality is called charm. This is the ability to create extraordinary rapport with anyone and make him or her feel truly exceptional in your presence. You might think that you need to be born with charm, but although some people seem to come by it naturally, charm is something that you can actually learn. No matter how skilled or smart or experienced you may be. Most of your ability to succeed at anything depends on your ability to win people over, to convince them to charm them. It's important to note that the deepest craving of human nature is the need to feel valued and important. Therefore, the secret of charm and improving your people skills is to make others feel important. The more important you make people feel in your presence, the more charming they will perceive you to be. So here are the five A's to mastering acceptance, appreciation, approval, admiration and attention. Let's start with the first A. Acceptance. The greatest gift you can give other people is the attitude of unconditional positive regard. That is you accept them in their entirety without limitation. The best way to express complete acceptance is simple. You smile. When you smile with happiness at seeing people, their self esteem jumps automatically. They feel important and valuable and they like the person who is making them feel this way. The second A is appreciation. You can show your appreciation by simply saying thank you on every occasion for any large or small reason. You make a habit of thanking everyone in your world for everything they do. Thank your secretary for her work, thank your spouse for his help, thank your children for anything that they do that you appreciate. Whenever you smile or say thank you to another person, not only do that person's self esteem and feeling of importance jump, but so does yours. You actually like yourself more each time you do or say anything that causes other people to like themselves more. And the more you like yourself, the more you will genuinely like and care about others. And the less concerned you will be about whether you are making a good impression, making your charm even more natural. The third A is approval. All human beings have a deep subconscious need for approval. For this reason, giving approval or praise to others often will make them feel wonderful about themselves. And they will find you to be more interesting, more perceptive, highly likeable and extremely charming. The fourth A is admiration. Whenever you give people a sincere, genuine compliment about a trait, possession or accomplishment, they automatically feel better about themselves. They feel acknowledged and recognized they feel valuable and important. So compliment a person on an article of clothing, or on a trait like punctuality or persistence, or on an award that they've won. Compliment for small things as well as for large things. The fifth A is attention. This is perhaps the most important quality of all for becoming charming. It's the most powerful behavior for building rapport, and it is the key to instant charm. When you pay close attention to other people, the more valuable and important they will feel they are. If someone wants to talk to you, immediately discontinue all other activities and give that person your entire attention. Listen as if you are transfixed by what they are saying, and then take a moment to pause before replying rather than jumping in as soon as they take a breath. This shows that you actually heard the person not only what they said, but what they meant. Before we wrap up, I'd like to leave you with a thought to share with your friends and followers. The fastest way to improve your relationships is to make other people feel important in every way possible. Now I'd love to hear from you. So my question today what is the one thing that someone you know does to make you feel important? Leave a comment below and I'll be sure to follow up with you. If you enjoyed this video and feel it was valuable in teaching you how to improve your people skills, subscribe to my channel like this video and share this video with your friends or anyone else who might benefit from this information. Thanks for watching. And remember, if you want to change your future, take action. And take action now. Discover how to clearly communicate your thoughts in any situation by clicking the button on the screen or in the description and downloading my free guide Getting your ideas Across. For more information about how to improve your people skills and your overall position in life, Visit my website, www.briantracy.com.
