video1265221007

and I'm called the matchmaker of senior housing, which is kind of funny because I give a lot of presentations and there are times where people, you know, raise their hand. They'll say, I just lost my spouse, Bruce, help me find somebody. And, you know, I'm not that kind of matchmaker. So I'm a senior housing matchmaker. I'm not a personal matchmaker. Maybe I should do that. But I have been involved in senior housing for over 35 years. I'm a certified dementia practitioner, and so I'm trying to share some good information with you all. So again, I've been involved in senior housing for over 35 years. I'm a certified dementia practitioner. I'm an elder care advocate. So I, I help kind of— I'm in your corner to help you. I, I, I'm an FGCU lecturer, and then I formed my company, Senior Housing Solutions, back in 2008. So 18 years ago I formed my company. I also have a network of advisors throughout the country. So if you are looking, you know, outside of Southwest Florida, I do have, you know, connections throughout the, you know, throughout the state and throughout the country. I actually have a good friend of mine, Arnie, who is on this call right now, and he covers the Southeast part of Florida. So if you're thinking that side of Florida, He's my guy. So he's, he's on this call. So what are we going to talk about today? So we're, I'm just going to give you a little bit of an overview of dementia and kind of understanding dementia and how it affects your brain and your behavior. Kind of recognizing some of the signs. You know, exploring memory care options. We're going to talk about memory care. We're going to talk about assisted living and kind of understanding the differences between all that. We're going to talk about how to avoid costly mistakes, which is obviously on everybody's mind. We're going to talk about the cost of care and how much memory care costs and how you pay for it. And then we're going to talk about taking care of yourself. So understanding dementia, it's kind of Hold on one second here. So, you know, you know, when you, when you, dementia isn't part of normal aging, even though sometimes we think it is. You know, in sort of the healthy brain, there's, you know, the sensory, the processing, the memory, and then the recall. The hippocampus is sort of the, the main driver of everything. You know, when, when you do have dementia, there's, you know, brain cell damage, neurons are damaged or they die, disrupted pathways. Obviously, there's memory loss and recall, and overall there's an impact on your daily life and your behavior. And unfortunately, you know, and once, once you have brain cell damage, you know, it's hard to, you know, get that back. And so, you know, if you have these types of things, it's really hard to— you might be able to stabilize things, but you may not be able to, you know, improve things. And so it's a difficult situation. You know, one size dementia isn't one size fits all. There's different types of dementia. There is Alzheimer's disease, which is what I think everybody kind of thinks about— memory loss, difficulty planning or problem solving. You know, we call that the, you know, your executive functioning seems to be, you know, it's kind of the first thing that happens. Trouble finding words or following conversations, disorientation of familiar places. And then there's mood and behavior changes. Again, you know, everybody's Dementia or Alzheimer's is everybody's own individual situation. So sometimes it could be a combination of all these vascular dementia problems with memory or attention, slower thinking, confusion, trouble following steps and instruction, changes in judgment and mood changes. Lewy bodies, which I, you know, I've had many clients with this. I think that's probably one of the worst. Fluctuating attention, alertness, hallucinations, tremors and stiffness, movement problems, trouble sleeping or acting out. Sometimes it gets combative, confusion that, that comes and goes. Frontotemporal dementia, you have personality changes, difficulty language, sometimes it's hard time speaking, trouble planning and organizing your thoughts. Repetitive actions and behaviors, and loss of empathy or social awareness. And again, you know, someone might have a combination of all of these, or, you know, they, it might look a little different. So, but it is important to kind of recognize this. I think vascular dementia is probably, you know, very common, probably what we see most often. You know, it's interesting because dementia you know, it affects other parts of our body. And so, you know, you have, you know, chronic inflammation, vascular disease, sleep disruption, metabolic dysfunction, social isolation, sensory loss, stress, cortisol overload, frailty and reduced reserves, neurogeneration and degeneration, and, you know, medication. And so when you have all that, you know, there's issues with heart disease, with diabetes, hearing loss, depression. People overmedicate and fall, you know, falls happen often. There's social isolation, sleep disorders. So, you know, not getting good sleep is a big issue. Again, there's a lot of issues with falls, chronic pain, and visual. So it's important to look at all this because, you know, when someone has dementia or Alzheimer's, you know, it's not just mental. And, you know, there's a lot of other things that go along with this. And so, you know, I think this is an important slide because, you know, it is, you know, there's other parts of our body that's being affected. And so, you know, we have to recognize that, you know, the sleeping issue, you know, I think is a big issue because, you know, you got to get your, you know, you got to get quality sleep. And if you're not sleeping well, you know, then, you know, everything else starts to fall from there. But very, very interesting. So what are some of the early warning signs? And so, you know, the first one would be memory loss that disrupts your daily life. You know, forgetting recent learned information, appointments, important dates, you know, and not just like occasionally, it's when you start seeing things more often. Again, executive functioning, difficult planning or solving problems, struggling following a plan, managing finances or completing familiar tasks, you know, and this becomes very challenging because when people, you know, say, you know, a husband and wife, and the husband's been making all the financial decisions, and now he can't, you know, can't make these decisions, then, you know, then that, that, that is now a responsibility of the wife, and she's not used to handling all this. And so, you know, this, this is a, you know, a big challenge. I, I know, you know, when we start talking about senior housing, you know, there are times where, you know, the, the husband has been making all the important decisions, but he might have dementia or Alzheimer's, and he's not able to, you know, make that decision. And so now that, you know, now the wife has to make that decision, and she says, you know, well, my husband doesn't want to do anything, and, you know, he refuses to move. But, you know, you're, you're asking someone with dementia to make a logical decision, and that may not necessarily happen. Um, the third one would be confusion with time or place, losing track of dates, that happens a lot. Trouble with words, having difficulty finding the right word or following conversations, misplacing items. You know, this is not just the occasional, I lost my keys. It's just like, you know, I can't find my glasses, I can't find my keys, I can't, you know, and this is on and on and on. And not just, not occasionally, but it's happening more often. Unfortunately, the withdrawal from work or social activities, this is a, you know, and I think we all saw this during the COVID pandemic time where people were, you know, self-isolating and the damage that all that did. And so people, you know, withdraw from social activities and they become, you know, they self-isolate themselves. And obviously, you know, you have changes in mood and personality, increased anxiety, irritability, Suspicion, you know, sadness without any clear reason. So, you know, these are really important to understand, you know, in the, you know, early detection is really what matters. Catching changes early and allowing time for evaluation, planning, and access to resources. And so, you know, early detection is better than, you know, waiting for, waiting for a crisis to happen. So what are some red flags? You know, frequent falls or bruises, or someone having, you know, balance issues, someone getting lost, or, you know, walking out the front door and not knowing where they are. You know, that's a really serious situation. Medication overdose or missing, missing doses, or taking the wrong medication. Is very harmful. Could have, you know, could result to a medical emergency. You know, everybody, you know, the whole driving issue about, you know, when do you stop driving? And people sort of hold on to that. And I'll talk a little bit more about that personally coming up. But, you know, someone who's driving and they get lost or they get, you know, frazzled when they're driving. And, you know, it's not just you, but it's the the teenager in the car next to you who's texting and, you know, he pulls into your lane and you don't have the, you know, the reaction time to be able to handle that. So, you know, and it is, it is a problem out there and, you know, sometimes it's safer to let someone else do the driving. Another, you know, big red flag is nutrition. So, you know, weight loss, poor eating habits. That could lead to serious problems. Eating, you know, sometimes eating by yourself is very challenging. And so again, when you start thinking about senior housing and the advantages of senior housing and having not only chef-prepared meals, but knowing that there are other people to dine with, you know, really is an attractive amenity. But, you know, Having, you know, going to Publix and trying to figure out what you're going to eat, and then you got to, you know, shop for it. You got to bring in your car, you got to bring it home, you got to unpack it, you got to, then you got to cook it. You know, a lot of times people just find that too big of a hassle, and so they end up not eating right or eating a TV dinner, which is, which is not good. Again, social, social self-isolation is a big issue. And, you know, and it does lead— there's a direct correlation between, you know, depression and dementia. And it all, it's all sort of connected to that. So, you know, it's important to talk about being a caregiver. And so I got some statistics here that 61% of dementia caregivers report high levels of emotional stress. It's probably higher than that, but, you know, this is what they report. So 61%, 23% of caregivers say that health felt that their health has worsened due to being a caregiver. 40% of caregivers experience depression symptoms. 63% of caregivers report sleep disruption. Again, it's probably more than that. I was a caregiver of my mom, and, you know, we all feel— we all felt like, you know, I always felt like I was on call 24/7. And, you know, the wear and tear that has on you is just tremendous. And, you know, we, we see it in, you know, in my business, I see it where, you know, caregivers are at risk of chronic illness and they shorten their lifespan. And so, you know, I have a little quote that, you know, you can't pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself is part of the taking care of them. And so, you know, you have to think about yourself. You have to take care of yourself more than anything, because if something happens to your health, then you really can't help them at all. So again, you got to, you know, these are, these are real statistics that are, that are important to understand. So the cost of waiting. So, you know, again, it's, it's much better to think about this early and recognizing subtle changes. There, there's going to be more options available that, that, that are probably better. Your cost is going to be lower, and you're lowering the stress on everyone. By waiting, you know, you're increasing the confusion. Safety is an issue, higher stress for the caregiver, and the options start to decrease, the options of places to move to. Then all of a sudden, a crisis happens.. And you know, this, this happens, you know, this happens a lot. And you know, usually, you know, I get people, you know, I've been doing this for a long time and people say, you know, Bruce, we weren't ready to do anything. We were not ready to do anything. And then all of a sudden crisis happens and we should have done it yesterday. And so now you're, you're making a decision in emergency. Your, your choices are going to be limited. Uh, your costs are going to be higher and a higher emotional trauma. And then, you know, now you're, you know, you've gone through that crisis and now you're making this reactive decision. And so now you're getting— your costs are going to be higher. You know, the adjustment to moving to a place is going to be harder. You know, you're, again, as your options are going to be limited, you could be missing opportunities for, you know, finding a better place. And unfortunately, there's times where there's family conflict where, you know, a son or a daughter wants mom to do something, or, you know, and mom or dad, they don't. Or there's, you know, a brother out there who wants to do it, and then there's a sister who doesn't want to do it. So there's, you know, as time goes by, you know, there could be this type of family conflict, and it does happen, unfortunately. And you want to try to avoid it the best you can. And then as time goes by, you have, your health is declining, your costs are increasing, now you have to settle on a place. And so you're losing your dignity and the caregiver burden is just getting heavier and heavier. So again, that's big. And then you waited, you waited, you waited, you had a crisis, now you made a decision. And you still don't want to do anything, and now you need emergency care, or now you have to go to a nursing home. And, you know, so nursing care, you know, you're looking at $15,000 to $18,000, and that's in today's numbers. And so, you know, Medicare only picks up a small part of that. So you want to, you know, you want to avoid that. And, you know, going into a nursing home, you know, not many people come out of nursing homes. And so you're in a— most of the times you're in a semi-private room, you're having nurses come and go. It's just, it's more of a hospital-like setting, which is not healthy environment at all. And there's emotional exhaustion, there's regret, there's guilt, and overall you're reducing your quality of life. So the bottom line with all of this is that trying to make an early decision if you're noticing changes that's the time to start thinking about, you know, what are we going to do versus waiting for a crisis to happen and waiting for another crisis to happen. And so again, you got to act early and, you know, you're giving yourself peace of mind, you're giving your family peace of mind. So I wanted to share my story about my mom. And this is a photo of her. I think this might have been Mother's Day. And so my mom lived in Estero.. And even though this is what I do is to help people find senior housing, I could not get my mom to move anywhere. And so I would get my mom to a point and I noticed things, you know, with her health and, you know, her— she was declining, but she totally refused care. She refused to move anywhere. And she always said, you know, Bruce, I'm fine. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me., and I, I'm, I, I'm the, the youngest of my family. I have a brother and 2 sisters, and, and they don't live locally, but my mom and my, my sister in Virginia, you know, had, had my mom's ear. And so I would get my mom to talk, start talking about this, and then she would talk to my sister, and my sister would say, no, Mom, you know, you enjoy your home, you don't need to move anywhere. And, you know, and so it was like one step forward, three steps back. And, you know, and, you know, everybody in my family would say, you know, she just, you know, she's just getting older. That's normal for aging. And, you know, and again, I, you know, I've been doing this for a long time and I knew this wasn't aging, but I, you know, I, there was only so much I can do. But again, she was, she was a fall risk. She had very poor judgment. She would go to doctor's appointments by mistake. She would get lost driving. She had a car accident over by Coconut Point. Um, she was, she was lonely, which is really sad. She was isolated. She had depression, very hard of hearing. Um, she was eating TV dinners, and, you know, and I would, you know, I would always say, you know, come on over to my home and let's have dinner, and she, she refused to do that. And then, you know, then Hurricane Ian came and she refused to evacuate. And, you know, we have a home with, you know, with a generator and shutters and everything, and she said I'm not going anywhere, Bruce. I'm staying home. And in the middle of the storm, you know, this is where poor judgment comes. In the middle of the storm, she got in her mind that she needed to go walk her dog. And so in the middle of the storm, she's out there, you know, walking her dog. And, you know, thank God she had neighbors and they, they found her outside. But, you know, this is, you know, it went, it was, it went south from there. And, um, it was, you know, it's really tragic because she would have thrived in living in a senior community. She would have loved it. She was a very social person. And, you know, but, you know, this dementia just really took over. And she— I don't think she was able to think clearly about what was right and what she should be doing. And, you know, it was just a really tragic situation. But, you know, maybe that will, you know, And again, you know, you would— the warning signs were all there, but, you know, you would look at, you know, a couple of them and you would say, not a big deal. You know, she would lose her keys or she couldn't figure out her cable and all that. But when you start putting it all together, it really became a whole different story. So, you know, the bottom line is, you know, recognizing the pattern early gives families more choices, less stress, and better outcomes. So I know this, this grid might look a little daunting, but I'll try to explain it to you. I kind of, I wanted to have like a little roadmap about, you know, what kind of levels of care. And when you talk about senior housing, what does that look like? And so when you, when you, because trying to find the right choice, you know, is important and there's, there's a lot of confusion out there. And so, you know, the first thing is, you know, what level of care does your loved one currently need? And so you start off with independent living. And so are you looking for a community that has amenities and low maintenance and lifestyle? If the answer is yes, then there's independent living communities. If their answer is no, then possibly you look at home care as adding some additional support at home. So, you know, I would, you know, when people say, you know, they don't want to move, but you're noticing, you know, different changes. Well, you know, maybe hiring some help to come in might be, you know, a good short-term solution for that. When people start needing help with daily activities, you know, do they need help with bathing, dressing, medications, and meals? If the answer is yes to that, then that's where assisted living comes in. If, if the answer is no to that, if they don't need help with assistance with bathing, dressing, or medications, then you go back to independent living. And then, you know, the third category is, do you need specialized memory support? So if someone has a diagnosis of Alzheimer's or dementia or other memory impairments, if the answer to that is yes, then, then you would consider memory care. And memory care, we'll talk about that in a second, is very specialized in a safe and structured environment designed for support and dignity. If that person doesn't have a diagnosis but still needs support, then you start leaning towards assisted living. So, you know, obviously there's a lot of factors to consider, but obviously one is location, budget. You know, we gotta know what we're working with, what levels of care someone needs, what is the community culture, you know, what is the lifestyle of that community? You know, and I joked earlier that I'm called the matchmaker, but that's really where, you know, I think I excel because I know the different lifestyles of these different communities and I'm in and out of all of them.. And so I'm able to match people up with the right, right place. Um, you know, safety and security. Um, you know what, finding a place that has a secure environment, bringing peace of mind, and, and obviously reputation. And, and, you know, you can go on Google and you can look at stuff, but, you know, you can't, can't always trust that. You know, there's, there's different reviews, uh, in, in the state of Florida. The, um, Agency for Healthcare Administration. They do annual surveys of the different places, and I can help you get all those different inspection reports, which I think is important. So we start talking about memory care and assisted living, and I know this looks like a lot, but, you know, there's— and again, there's confusion between the two, but Memory care is for individuals with Alzheimer's and dementia or memory impairments. Assisted living is for people who really don't have severe memory loss. It provides supportive services. And I would say, you know, assisted living is exactly what it sounds like. It's assistance with your living. And so it provides a different, you know, more structured, more, more supportive environment. Memory care provides a more structured in a more secured setting. It's a, it's a, it's a secured environment where, you know, people can't go walk, walk out the front door. You know, there's usually an electronic pad that, you know, people have to press a number. You know, the staff is trained differently in memory care. They specialize in dementia training and experience versus assisted living. They're trained more in assisted living. And, you know, the daily routines are a little different from memory care. Memory care is a bit more structured. Assisted living is more flexible. Activities— memory care, it's more therapeutic, more dementia-focused. And then assisted living is more social, recreational, wellness activities. And so again, when you're looking at activity calendars and seeing what's going on, it's important to see the differences here. Staff levels are different. The higher the staff-to-resident ratios are in memory care versus assisted living. And again, assisted living is assistance. It's not 24/7. And so, you know, they're going to have people there, but they're, you know, you're not going to have, you know, it's not, it's not nursing care. And so Sorry about that. So it's not nursing care. So it's important to understand that the cost of memory care is a little, is higher because of the specialized care and the secured environment compared to assisted living. And overall, you know, memory care provides a greater peace of mind knowing, knowing your loved one is safe, engaged, and supportive. And assisted living is good too. It just kind of depends on, you know, what your situation is. And so it is important to understand the difference. I would say, you know, when, you know, the difference when someone starts thinking about, you know, should I be thinking about assisted living or memory care? Sort of the line in the sand would be if somebody is, you know, an elopement risk or wandering, you know, walking out the front door, that person probably needs to be in more of a memory care environment. And again, in the assisted living, you know, and especially today, you know, they can do a lot in assisted living, but they're not watching you 24/7. So if somebody is, you know, wandering and, and walking out the front door and not knowing where they are, you know, that, that person really needs to be in a, in a more of a secured environment. So the benefits of memory care, you know, it's specialized and they provide very, you know, these are staff that it's trained just for memory care, so they, they're very compassionate. And, you know, this is what you want to find in a good place where, you know, the staff's very patient, respectful, and understanding. Again, it's in a safe and secure environment. The activities are very engaging. And again, these are things that you want to look for when you're, when you're researching, because sometimes it's not that way, unfortunately. But you want to find a place that has engaging daily, you know, activities and the staff's engaging with you. You know, having structure, you know, is important. You know, I think we all know, like, when we go on a vacation, we sort of lose track of, you know, what day of the week it is or what time it is. And so having a structured routine is very helpful for people, knowing that, you know, breakfast is a certain time and activities a certain time and lunch and dinner. So knowing that there's a set routine is very important. Normally there are personalized support, you know, they develop care plans for everyone. And so, and as a family member, you're able to be part of those care plan meetings, which I would encourage. So, you know, the staff meets on a regular basis and you could either be on those, on that, you know, on a call or at that meeting in person. To go through those care plans. And that, that happens also in assisted living. And again, I would encourage you to be an active participant in those care plan meetings. And, you know, the— because of the memory care, it's, you know, we're used to providing the support to families. And so we're helpful in providing resources along the way. So I pulled up this about the cost of memory care in Florida, and in our area, uh, for, for decent memory care, you know, it could be a little less in some places, but you're probably in the, the ballpark of $6,000 to $8,500 on the high end for, uh, for memory care in our area. Again, this is just memory care, it's not assisted living. And, you know, that's, that's about the same if you went over on the East Coast. Uh, Tampa's a little less, uh, Orlando is less, and North Florida, uh, is considerably less. And, and sometimes, you know, sometimes people have to move outside of the area because they can't afford to, to be here. But we're, you know, we're, we're right in there between the $6,000 and $8,500 a month. And, and so how do you, how do you pay for it? If you are a veteran or if you are a spouse of a veteran, there are benefits out there that I can help you get you in touch with the right people. Many people have long-term care insurance and that pays for your, you know, will pay for your care. You know, and a lot of times with the long-term care insurance, there is an elimination period or a deductible period that has to, that has to be used. Most of the times it's all private pay or out-of-pocket, you know, so it does get expensive out there. But, you know, you have savings and you have income, and so, you know, sometimes you got to tap into that in order to pay for this. And then, you know, there are, you know, in Florida there's what we call the Medicaid Waiver Program. Not all the places accept the Medicaid Waiver Program, so that becomes a little bit of a challenge, and some of the places that do aren't very good. There are, there are life insurance policies with, with long-term care insurance riders. You could get a reverse mortgage, and then there are times where families have to contribute. So not, not to, you know, unfortunately, you know, you don't, you don't see government here. And so, because Medicare, Medicare doesn't pick up for, you know, a dime of any of this.. And so, you know, you're pretty much on your own as far as paying out of pocket. But, you know, I sit down with people, we go through it, and we try to figure out what the best is. And, you know, sometimes, you know, we have to, you know, we have to compromise. Maybe we have to look at a different location, or maybe we have to look at a different facility because of the affordability. But, you know, there are some nice places out there and You know, I'm happy to help you. So what are the top 10 mistakes that families make? And, you know, we touched on this earlier, is waiting for a crisis to happen, waiting for something to happen to force that decision. That is number 1. And anybody who knows me knows my saying about it's better to be 5 years too early than 5 minutes too late. And so, you know, waiting for that crisis to happen is a mistake. Touring one community. You know, I— and my wife has an expression which I think is kind of funny, but it's true, that, you know, you don't buy your first wedding dress. And so you do want to shop around, you do want to look at different places because they're all, they're all, you know, they're all different, and you want to find the one that's the right fit. Maybe you find, you know, maybe you visit one and that's the right one, but you want to, you know, you wanted to know that you made the right decision. And I do think it's good to compare. Because they are, you know, they are different. And so it's important. Choosing a community based only by price, and you know, sometimes this is necessary, but you know, the lowest price may not provide the care, the staffing, or the safety that your loved one needs. And so we have to— so, you know, price is a factor,. But, you know, you just don't want that to be the main driver. Waiting to, you know, and this happens a lot, waiting until after hospitalizations. And so, you know, discharge planners at the hospital, you know, they're going to, they're going to discharge you quickly and, and they're, they're going to force you into a quick decision and may not be the right decision. So, you know, again, trying to, trying to be proactive in all this. You know, you have to recognize caregiver burnout. And so taking care of yourself, making sure that you're, you're well so you can take care of your loved one. So you have to recognize that it is real and you have to protect yourself. Assuming that all memory care communities are the same, they're not. They're vastly different. Some are small, some are large, some are fancy, some aren't. You know, some have open grounds. And so, you know, you have to, you know, again, this is, this is where I think I play a greater role in helping you understand all the differences. But, you know, you have to get beyond the sales pitch and the marketing team and, you know, kind of find the right one. You know, you got to talk about staffing, staffing levels, training, turnover, very important. The bells and whistles, the focusing on appearances is nice, but you have to kind of dig further and look at their care, their culture, the compassion that they have. So, you have to kind of look beyond just the fancy website or the pretty brochure. It is important. I see this, unfortunately, I see this a lot, delaying legal and financial planning. So you got to, you got to make sure all your legal and your document, all your legal documents and your financial plans are in order. Uh, unfortunately, things do go south very quickly, and, and so you want to have, you know, everything, everything in a nice, nice little binder or anything within a little box with a bow on it, because you want to make sure all that's taken care of. You know, make sure your, your family's all on the same page, and, you know, make sure you're, you know, your, your, whoever it is has their, you know, your email and your passwords and your bank accounts and all, all of that needs to be, you know, very secure, obviously. Um, but you got to make sure that, that, you know, isn't just, you know, in a drawer somewhere hoping that someone's going to find it. So, so kind of get organized with all this. Uh, and, and, you know, and I think the mistake is people trying to do this on their own. Um, you know, this is, this is what I do. This is what I've been doing for, you know, over 35 years. And so, you know, reach out. You know, there's no reason why you have to think you're, you're, you all this is on your shoulders. So reach out, you know, talk, talk to, you know, talk to the experts so they can help you. So helping someone accept moving to memory care. And so you want to start with empathy. You know, expressing love and concern, knowing, let them know that your main goal is their safety and your well-being. You know, you need to listen, you know, you got to understand their feelings and, you know, understand, you know, what they're going through and try to be patient without any judgment. Try to focus on positives. Involve them in choices. You know, I would say, you know, you would probably want to do some of the scouting by yourself. And then, and then after that, you know, maybe when you've narrowed things down, you know, take them with you. Again, you know, I can't emphasize this enough. Visit before a crisis, tour communities together. And I see that there's some questions already, so I'm just going to hold off until I get done and then I'll answer your questions best I can. And so again, visit before a crisis, you know, using a trusted voice. So Talking, having your doctor or someone like myself as an advisor or respected friend help to reinforce the message, very important. I do a lot of this, but it's very helpful to have a third party. Sometimes it's easier for a third party without any emotional attachment to say some of the hard things or to reinforce the message. Take it slow. You know, you don't, you don't have to feel, you know, it could be overwhelming. So take it slow. Focus in on, you know, positive experiences. Reassure them of value. You know, trying not to be a burden. Talk about their safety. You know, talk about that they, you know, it provides 24/7 support and security. You know, and be patient, be persistent. And so, you know, these, these are, these are sort of helpful advice. Remember this, you're not trying to convince them, you're trying to help them feel safe, supported, and cared for. Love, patience, and the right support can make all the difference. So, good stuff. So, you know, I, I was thinking about, I was thinking about this and, you know, and guilt, guilt is part of this whole this whole equation. And, and it's normal to feel guilty. And, you know, guilt is a sign of love, not a sign you're making the wrong decision. And so, you know, instead of thinking I'm putting Mom in a facility, thinking I'm moving Mom to a place where she can receive the specialized care and that I no longer could provide. And so, you know, the memory care provides a safe and secure environment. You have 24/7 trained dementia caregivers. You have dining, nutrition, meals, medication management. Purposeful activities and social engagement, dignity, compassion, and routine. And so, you know, you're not giving up, you know, you're not giving up, you know, you're not trained to be a caregiver, but you are, you know, a loving spouse, a husband and wife, or a family member. And so your role, you know, needs to be more of that versus being this caregiver. The greatest gift you can give a loved one is not is not doing everything yourself, is making sure they receive the care they truly need. And I really think that that's true. And so, you know, it's not easy. No one says it's easy. And yes, there's going to be guilt, but you have to think about what is the right— what are you doing right? And, you know, is this an act of love? So I researched this, and I have a lot of different resources, and I'm happy to share this with you later. But our area, we have, you know, The Alzheimer's Association, we have a lot of local resources. The Baker Senior Center is awesome. The Dublin Center is great. Alzheimer's Support Network, the Area Agency on Aging. So great, great resources in our area. There's some really good books to read. The 36-Hour Day is really good. So, you know, these are some good books to read. And again, you know, support groups, especially for caregivers. Are very good. And again, I give you all a lot of credit for being part of this today. But this is, you know, these local resources are here for you to help you. So, you know, my services, you know, I provide a free service at no cost, 100% free. And so, you know, I help you kind of compare different communities and figure out which ones you should visit, kind of doing the MyMatchmaker thing. I can review contracts. I'm not a lawyer, but I probably should have been one. But I can help you understand the contracts and kind of the fee structure. I do get involved with negotiating, and so I'm happy to, you know, as a client, I'm happy to help negotiate pricing. I arrange tours, and so I can join you on your tours. I arrange them for you, you know, and so I You know, I'm helping you every step of the way and I'm providing very personalized guidance. And what overall I'm trying to help you make a good decision versus avoiding a bad one. And I really think that's really sort of the value of what I provide is I'm helping you avoid making a bad decision and kind of helping you make a good one. And so again, it's a free consultation. I provide a free service. I get paid if someone ever moves to a facility, they pay me a referral fee. So that, that's how I do my thing. Um, but the kind of the cool thing is, is that you're under no obligation to take my advice. And so if I share ideas with you, there's no obligation. So, you know, you can, you could go your own, make your own decision, and, and which is just fine. So I'm going to now open it up for some questions and I'm going to open up my little chat window, see if there's some questions I can help answer. So someone had to jump off. So do I have a relationship with a local neurologist? Yes, I do. I'm happy to, you know, talk to you privately about that. But yes, I do. Someone says, my personal experience with memory care facilities is that they have no supervision and those employed have no specialized training. I think it just depends on, on the place. There are some that have the specialized training and some that don't. There are some that sort of combine the assisted living and the memory care together. And so they're pulling staff from assisted living over to the memory care. And so, you know, I did— again, I don't know which places you're talking about, but I— there are, you know, there are some good places out there that provide good, good care. So someone asked me if, you know, this is— she enjoyed my presentation. Can this recording be shared? And the answer is yes. So I'll be happy to share it with you, and I'll probably post it on YouTube as well. So anything else? Um, so let me share with you, I have some upcoming seminars. Um, so on, on September 11th, uh, Patriots Day, um, I'm doing my next webinar, and I plan on doing these webinars on a monthly basis. I just, I'm going to be out of town in August, but, uh, in, in, in September I have Michelle Montgomery, and she is, um clinical reader and community outreach person for Aqualine Clinical Research. And so she's going to talk more about understanding Alzheimer's disease and research and kind of the, the what's ahead. So this is a great resource. They, they have neurologists that work for them. But so this is going to be September 11th, and you know, she'll be really helpful kind of breaking this down. And again, this Aqualine Clinical Research, this is based in Naples,. And, and they, I have a really good connection with them and great resource for everyone. And then I started doing, I started doing these, these luncheons. And so I, they're called Dine, Discover, and Connect. And so my next one is September 24th, and that's going to be held at Gulf Coast Memory Care in Estero. And so it's a, they're going to provide a lunch. They're going to, you know, answer questions. I'll be there.. And, you know, so it's kind of a, kind of a great way to explore different places without, you know, feeling any kind of sales pressure because there's a, you know, there's about 30 of us that, that participate and it's a combination of seniors, families, and, you know, there will probably be a couple of professionals there as well. So great, great opportunity to build friendships and share experiences. And I do these, these luncheons on a monthly basis on the 4th Thursday of every month. And again, this next one is the 24th at Gulf Coast, and I'll be sending you all an invite to all that. So hopefully you can participate. Gulf Coast is a nice smaller memory care in Estero. And here's my contact information. You can scan that code to get to my website. But I, again, I serve the Southwest Florida But if you're looking outside of this area, I do have connections. Couple other questions. So the new law about memory care is that they, my understanding is that they have to share with you that they, you know, that they provide memory care. I don't know the specific specifics on it. But there is some new legislation that's going out there. Is the understanding Alzheimer's for patients or caregivers? I don't really follow that question. But so, Jenny, I don't understand your question. So someone asked me, hey Bruce, I'm sorry Bruce, this is Ian and Jenny.

Yeah, hi.

So the question is whether that Understanding Alzheimer's presentation is for the patient or the caregiver or both.

In other words, should my mom, is it appropriate for my mom to attend some of your webinars or are these more for the patient?

I think it'd be great. I think she should attend.

Okay, good. Thank you.

Excellent. Thank you.

Outstanding.

Yeah. And Kathy, what are the best facilities? Well, that, that's something that you and I would talk about offline because that— this is what I do as an advisor. And, you know, there's a lot of considerations out there, um, you know, location, cost, um, you know, demographics. And so this, this is what I would do as, as your advisor is to sit down or talk to you about you know, what, what are, you know, what are you looking for? And, and then narrow down those choices from there. Um, and so, and I, you know, there are, there are, I sort of know the good and bad and ugly of all the different places. And so my, my insight is extremely valuable. Um, I would, I would ask that, uh, as much as you can, try to hold off, you know, researching online yourself, uh, because that, that does create a conflict for me. And so, you know, let, let me, you know, help guide you and let me, you know, figure that one out. And then, you know, we can come up with a list together and we'll nail that down. So, so, Linda, how will the new Florida laws interact with the requirements of care? I don't know. I don't know that answer.

Bruce Rosenblatt, my understanding, one of the things is that they have to have, if you're publicized as a memory care facility, they have to have somebody that is awake during the night.

Yes, I would, I would hope so.

Well, you know, some of them don't, right? The law is going to require it.

That's good. That's good. I'm glad they're cracking down on all that. What is your— what place do you like best has a 3-year waiting list? So, you know, memory care and assisted living, not, you know, the, the attrition rate is, is pretty high in those, those types of facilities. And so, you know, a lot of times they have a waiting list for people who aren't quite ready to move, but they may have immediate availability. So, you know, again, we, we can talk about that, um, privately. And you know, what is the financial requirements to assist people in these events? And so, you know, these are— I'm assuming what you're saying is, you know, how do you afford to do all this? And you know, these are private pay arrangements, and the government really, you know, unless you're a veteran, the government really doesn't play a real— you know, Medicare really doesn't cover assisted living or memory care. So with that, I'm going to, I'm going to end this. So I hope everybody enjoyed that. Everybody's good with that. And thank you. Thank you for attending.

Thank you.

This is great. Thank you, Bruce Rosenblatt. Thank you.

Thank you.

And please reach out if you have any questions. If you want to talk to me privately, I'm here. So great to see you.

Thank you.

All right, take care.