From $300k to $15m+ In 3 Years (Working 3 Days A Week) w/ Brooke Castillo #TheOnePercent

Giving up that instant gratification that costs us all of our dreams is the pain. We have to be willing to. That's a discomfort. I always say that discomfort is the currency to your dreams. You have to be willing to be in that space of not giving in to every single temptation.

It takes one free person to create change. This is the show for them. We are the creators of the free world. This is capitalism.com and we are the 1%.

Oh, hey, boys and girls. Welcome to capitalism.com. i'm Ryan Daniel Moran, and I'm going to share with you a podcast that really inspired me, had a really profound impact on me from this past year, and I couldn't think of a better way to close out the year than to share this with you again. It's the conversation that I had with Brooke Castillo. And this was at my lake house earlier this year. And Brooke and I sat down and talked about how she went from making $300,000 a year to making $17 million a year. And in my most recent conversation with her, she. She kind of teased that it's now $25 million a year. So her business just continues to explode. The crazy thing, though, is that she works never more than three days a week, and she lives a really balanced, healthy life. And she inspires me like, she. She makes me want to be better. And so if there's one person that you're not studying that you should be, it's Brooke Castillo. So as you wrap up your year and cruise into 2020 with all the news, talking about, what are you going.

To do for the next decade?

Just listen to this episode, then ask that question.

You can shut out all that other.

Crap until you listen to Brooke. This is really good. So enjoy this conversation that I had at my house with the incomparable Brooke Castillo.

Hey, capitalists. This Brooke interview is probably our favorite podcast of 2019. So on today's broadcast, I'm going to include a little bonus at the very end. After the hour, I kept the cameras rolling and captured a great bonus conversation with Brooke and Ryan, talking about gold diggers and commitment, dating other entrepreneurs, and even the whole concept of marriage. So we've got a new bonus audio on this podcast about 45 minutes forward from here. But if you've already heard this podcast before, I highly recommend listening to it all over again.

Hey, capitalists, before we jump into today's episode, if you've crossed circumstances, seven figures and now you're stuck and you're frustrated and you're overworked and you're not seeing the same growth and excitement that you had when you started this thing, but you know that you're sitting on something special and it's driving you crazy that you can't get what is in your head out into the world. I know why you're stuck and I can help. Go over to capitalism.com 7. I've put together a write up about why you're stuck, how to get unstuck, and how I can help you in 2020 and beyond. Looking for exciting businesses with fun entreprene who are frustrated because they know that they're capable of more. So go to capitalism.com7 and we'll get you growing again.

What's up 1 percenters? Welcome to capitalism.com today.

We'Re we're joined by the gigglest giggliest person in the lakehouse. Brooke. Welcome to Lake house.

What's so fun?

Hello, Ryan. It's great to be here.

What Woody, are you. You like turned on the Voice?

I loved it.

Hey, when there's, when there's a. When there's a mic on me, I go into podcast voice. I've been very public about this, so good. I love it.

Keep going.

Yes.

I'm stoked to be here. Thank you for having me.

Well, now we're getting all official.

Screw the podcast. Let's just make fun of each other for the next hour. I'm in. Well, you and I met a couple years ago and I can't wait to find out what the hell you did. Because a couple years ago you called me for advice and then you started beating me at freaking everything.

Yes. Well, here's what happened. I found you. I was just trying to think about how I found you. I don't have any idea how I found you.

Google really handsome men on the Internet.

Yes, that's what it was. And then I found your podcast. I started listening to your podcast. You were selling a product called or you were affiliating for Amazing Melons.

Amazing Melons. Amazing Melons. This is a great new product called Amazing Melons.

And I was like, I have to have them.

Is that a fridge or a breast enhancement product?

Amazing selling machine for Amazon. And I wanted to help my kids start a business. I bought it. We started running a business. We were selling soccer balls with.

That's where all the money is.

It's like a soccer ball in a bag with a pump and like an instruction manual. And we went through the whole thing and we actually did pretty well. I went to your website to see maybe if you could Help us do better. And there was a sign up form for a coaching session. I signed up. It was like only 500 for an hour.

I was like, dude, what's up? We talked for an hour about my kids.

Soccer ball thing and that was it.

Yeah. I'm gonna get a bunch of DMS now. Will you honor the 500 an hour? No, I will not honor the 500 an hour.

So good. It was money. Money well spent. But I've been listening. See, I feel like I really know you because I've been listening to your podcast for years. So it's super surreal and fun to.

Be here, but you just exploded over the last few years.

Yes.

Where you know how you have an eight figure business, almost eight figures in profit.

Yeah.

Every time I hear Frank Kern talk, he quotes you as his like, yes. His champion student.

I am a very big deal.

You consistently have one of like the top 50 business podcasts on itunes, which.

I think is kind of funny, don't you? That it's a business podcast and it's all about life coaching.

Well, you know, you can change that categorization any.

I mean, I like that I show up, I like that I show up there. And I think it's because life coaches are building businesses, I guess. But I do think it's an interesting categorization for me.

Well, you just blew up in the last couple years. What the hell happened to you?

I think I'm one of those typical stories that it's like the overnight success that's been at it for 10 years. I think it just, I think partially it's just the momentum of me being at it so long and learning along the way. I always say success is built on a pile of failures. I think I got my fair share of those right and I started to succeed. I also think the life coaching industry took off for me personally. Just like decided to take off because when I first started as a coach, everyone wanted to know what sport I was in. Right. What sport I was coaching. Seriously. And so then I think the industry's grown. I think me learning how to do the Internet was really helpful. Me hiring Frank Kern, me doing a podcast.

So when you say learning how to do the Internet, what does that mean to you?

Yeah, like learning how to build a funnel, learning how to build a list, learning how to promote to it, learning how to. I know this sounds crazy, but, like, ask people for money. I think that's the number one issue with most of the people in my industry not making money is they don't ask for It.

Well, a few years ago you were. You just had like a handful of clients.

Right.

Of your own. Of your own life coaching clients.

Yes. Right.

And if you're doing like low six figures, about 300. Okay, 300,000. And now fast forward like four or five years. It is.

Yes.

It's like 300x. Yes, that. Yeah. And maybe more so. So you say learning the Internet was the turning point there. That had to be more than.

Right. I mean, there's so much. But I do think those are like the main things. Like really understanding that I was going to keep failing and not giving up I think is huge for everybody and not overemphasate. Emphasize how important that was for me because there's so many times at about 300k, I was like, enough of this already. But here's another.

What do you mean enough of this already?

Like, like I was hustling. I was working too hard. I was working like seven days a week. I was like, this is exhausting. I don't know that I want to be an entrepreneur anymore. And so I, I had a conversation with my husband. I'm like, we're either going to go all in or we're getting out of this industry. We decided to go all in. And I remember I'm like, I'm going to learn how to run Facebook ads. And so I started running Facebook ads. Not really. You know, that aggressive acquisition of customers really changed the flow of customers into my business.

Well, it's not like you could, as a life coach, you couldn't just take on more clients because you're already working all the time.

Well, I could because I was doing group coaching. Okay.

So I could do that. So you change from a one to one to a one to many. Yeah, yeah. Model.

Yeah.

And then you started running Facebook ads to amplify the one to many model. Would you talk a little bit about what the model.

Yeah, I will tell you, at that time, when I went from 300 to a million was really when I started doing the group coaching, which instead of doing one to one, I started putting groups of people into coaching sessions, which I was, you know, really challenged to do because I felt like it wouldn't be as effective because people weren't getting all that one to one attention. But what I found out is that it was even more effective because other people seeing other people be coached was really powerful because they could see their issues in each other easier than they could see them in their own life. So that started becoming a really powerful thing. Then I started doing online Courses which were passive income courses that I was able to sell, and that really helped everything. But I'm kind of like a word of warning that happened from 300 to a million is I started doing too many different things, and then I started getting burnout again at a million dollars. So that's right when I started working with Frank, and we decided to just focus on one thing at a time. So we narrowed my business down, we constrained it down, I started charging more, and that's when it really started to come together. And the thing that's the coolest for me about going from a million to 10 million and beyond is that I work less now than I ever had.

You refuse to work more than three days a week?

I like working three days a week. Yeah. And here's the greatest thing about it, is people say, oh, you work three days a week, you don't work very hard. But that's not true. Like, the three days a week that I do work, I work my ass off. But I can do that because I know I get the next day off.

So you what you do, like, Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

I do. I do Monday, I take Tuesday off. They work Wednesday. Thursday, I take Friday off.

Yeah, that's. That's really cool. So when you discovered that you were gonna go all in on one thing at a time.

Yeah.

What was the first one thing?

So the first thing I decided to do was a membership site. And Frank just said, hey, do a book funnel to a membership site. And I knew there was like 1200 reasons why that wouldn't work for me and that I shouldn't do it and that he didn't understand my industry and that I couldn't charge that much, all that stuff. And I have to say, I think that's like. Frank talks about me a lot this way. Like, I just did what he told me to do. I paid him tens of thousands of dollars to give me advice. And I'm like, what if I just did exactly what he told me to do and I did, and that shit worked.

What specifically worked? Was it the promotion of the book as a customer acquisition tool, Being willing to lose money on the customer acquisition and hoping that it made up for it on the back.

That's right. That's right. I think that was the huge shift for me is, you know, being willing to spend a lot of money on acquisition. It just seemed counterintuitive because especially from the industry or the business model that I come to from before was always, I would make all the profit right up front.

Yeah, right.

Word. Of mouth. Someone would come to me as a coaching client. I would just make all that money. So for me to lose money on the front end was scary.

How many members are in the membership now?

I can't say. It's a big secret.

Oh, okay. It's a big secret. All right, now let me ask you this. What was the book that you. That you promoted and are you still running?

I did three different book funnels. So I did stop over drinking, stop overeating, and how to feel better. And so three different niches into the same membership site.

And are they still running today, the book funnels?

Yeah, we used to do the book funnel. $7 to an upsell. Now we do free e book.

Oh, interesting. Yeah, interesting. So it's all about acquir the name and warming them up and getting in into that.

Yeah.

So I want to go down. Can I go down a weird rabbit hole with you?

Let's do it.

So, all right. So you're. You're a life coach.

Yes.

Do you work with, like, inner gunk that's holding people back?

Yeah. I don't know. What do you mean by inner gunk?

All right, here's where I'm going. This.

I want to get.

I want to get your perspective on this. So I have found for me that burnout happens when I overextend myself, obviously. But I. I always think that if I overextend myself, it'll be more valuable for people. Just like you said, if I go to the group coaching, it'll be less value. You turn out. It was actually more valuable.

Right.

So I have kind of the same block in times where I want to overcomplicate it, give more. And what I found is that we confuse people rather than give them a clear path. And what I discovered for me was that was like some old childhood shit from, like, trying to take care of the family, like trying to take care of the people and provide everything and overextending myself.

Yeah.

And for me, it was the same thing with, like, my customers. Well, we'll do all this thing to make sure, and then they're just confused as hell.

Right. It totally backfires.

And I had to work on that in order to even create the boundary. Like, no, I can't overextend myself here. And people just start showing up because they respond to that.

Yeah. I mean, my. My view on burnout is that it doesn't have to do with how much you're working, which I know sounds weird. I think burnout is caused by whatever emotion is Fueling what you're doing so you can view be coming from a super abundant, excited mindset and work all day every day and be energized by that. But if you're. It sounds like what you were doing was working from a place of insecurity and worry that is going to burn you out every single time.

Yeah, yeah.

And. And I was going to say this earlier too. I think the coolest thing about building a business from a million to, you know, 10 million, that space in between there, is that you can't work harder. There's no. There's not enough hard work in to make that happen. So that's when you really start becoming. I think that's when I started becoming a real businesswoman, like understanding how business really works so I could work less. So me working less is as much about discipline as it is about freedom. Because I really want to be able to make sure that I'm doing my best thinking and thinking at the highest level. Because when you give yourself all week to do your work, like, think about this. If someone said to you.

You know, I did my workout today, it was eight hours, you'd be like, dude, you know you can do that in an hour, right? And it's like, oh, no, I took eight hours. I'm really hustling and I'm really working hard. That's what we do at work, right? We're like, oh, I took eight hours. But you could probably do most of that, like within two if you stay really focused and do that. And then you have so much more freedom. So that's what I found for my life, too. And that is another thing that helps prevent the burnout. Because if you. If you work, burn it. I think you call it the grind, right?

Yeah.

If you grind it and grind it and grind it to a million, how are you going to get to 2 million?

Right?

There's just no grind.

It's a different set of systems that will take you from 1 to 10. And most people think that the same thing that got them to one, right? You just pour gasoline on that fire and then you take it to 10. And that's. That's how you. That's how you die young.

Well, and the other thing is. And maybe I don't know if you've experienced this, but I think a lot of people think once they get to a million, then everything's good and changes and it's wonderful, right? They think, oh, I've made a million dollars now I've arrived. Now everything gets easy. And now I'M rich. And now, you know, it'll just keep pouring in, which, of course, the opposite is what happens.

What do you mean, the opposite?

Because I feel like when you get to a million, everything, if you aren't smart, everything gets more complex and more complicated because you have to start hiring people and developing new skill sets and developing systems on top of what you're already doing. Right. It's not like you're just playing with your money all day if you want to keep growing. Right.

All right, so. So what. What I'm piecing the other is you had to pivot from group. From group coaching, which took you to a million. Yeah. Great. Now you've got proven concepts.

Yes.

And then you started hitting another burnout.

Yes.

Point. Yeah. So is that when you had to learn new skills and do something different and that when the extreme discipline became absolutely necessary?

Yes, totally.

Tell me about that.

And that's. You have to step back. I love the way Dan Sullivan talks about it. He's like, you have to put your pen down and think about it. Like, to go from a million to a million one, you just do a little bit more.

Right.

To go from a million to 10 million, you have to sit back and be like, okay, how do you. How do you do that? How do you do. There's no way that I can work more. How big can a group be? Like, that's when I started thinking about systems and teams and building everything. But you can still burn yourself out doing a team and system. So you have to step back. The other thing that I decided is that I wasn't in a hurry because I realized, wait a minute. It's not better here at a million than it was at six figures. It's just different. It's fun to make a million dollars, but it's not like your life is better. And I think that's people. I'd be curious to hear what you think about that. You kind of had your exit.

Yep.

Do you think your life's better now?

It is now.

Do you think it's better?

Well, tell me. Hold on here. So my perspective is money is just like alcohol. It's an amplifier of who you are.

Yeah.

If you get your value through attention and you start drinking, you're going to become a cute little introvert in the corner.

Right.

No. You're like, everyone, look at me. I'm going to dance at this party.

Okay.

And money is the same thing.

Interesting.

If you get your value from egoic pursuits, you will spend your money on more of that egoic Pursuit. So for me, what it did was it accelerated the time frame to which I got to burnout.

Oh, that's fascinating.

And it accelerated all my inner junk and it made me have to work on that faster.

Yes. That's good.

That's so good. My life is way better now.

Yeah.

As the result of hitting walls and going, I gotta figure this out. Like I, I have to do some deep inner work here and find out what this is. Now to somebody who's never been to that point, it's oh boo hoo. Right.

Poor baby. Yeah.

Right. But, but the truth is we've all got junk.

Yes.

Money is an amplifier of the good stuff.

Yes.

And the bad stuff. So life just gets more extreme.

It just gets bigger. Yeah, exactly.

It doesn't get better. Yes, it gets bigger.

Yes, I totally agree with you.

And you can decide that's more, that's more firepower for you to decide what your life is going to look like. And if you become very intentional about what you want that to be, you now have more firepower in order to build that. And that's a process and takes new self discovery. And so yes, life is better now as a result of it getting worse after.

I mean, that's what I would say. It's so much better. And I still have problems. They're just totally different problems. Right. But there's, it's not like, I think we have this fantasy that like once you're rich for women, once you're rich and thin, then everything's great and that is, you're just still a human being, which I have found sucks part of the time and is awesome part of the time no matter where you are. And so I think people are willing to claw and hustle to get to that million dollar mark because they think they're going to arrive somewhere. And I think if you just take your time. That's what I was saying. Having the long game I think is so important. That's something I learned a lot from you actually. You and Gary Vee with your, with your long game visions of owning teams. I think that seems so far away and yet it's like making that declaration of the future. You can always think from that. I think that's super powerful.

Well, I just find that I make better decisions.

Yes.

When I'm thinking about the long game.

Yes.

Totally thinking about what do I want five years from now. I just make better decisions. Because you're more relaxed. It's like when you're thinking short term, you're usually thinking about some sort of an egoic pursuit.

That's right.

So you're more likely to just dumb. Do dumb shit.

Yes.

Make dumb decisions that are for your own pursuit. And then you think there's going to be a result at the end that's going to change the way that you feel. And then he doesn't. So you make the next short term decision, right.

You're like, oh, that wasn't it. I better work harder and faster.

You coach, you won't say how many people, but lots of people.

Big secret.

So what I'm curious about is like, is this like, I guess, is this an entrepreneurial thing or is this a human thing?

This is a human thing. So like with my weight loss clients, it's all about when they get to their goal weight, then everything's going to be perfect, right? What is? My clients that drink too much, when they quit drinking, everything will be perfect, right? Or when they can control their drinking, everything will be perfect. With my single clients, it's all about when I get married and I always have, I'm like, who's married? Raise your hand. Is your life perfect? Right? It's, we give ourselves like this dream that when we arrive there, then we won't be this, we won't be this human that isn't perfect. Because look at, it's like, I think a lot of times we're sold this idea that the goal in life is to be happy all of the time. And we look on social media and everybody else is happy all of the time. Why aren't we happy all of the time? If we just could make a million dollars or get skinny or whatever. And so then we get there and we're so bummed that that doesn't do it. So I think that's where the clawing happens for some people.

So what do you do with them after they discover that? It doesn't make them who they want to be.

They're just really pissed. But I try and warn them. So I have this philosophy that there's a balance to life, right? They're pissed. There's a balance to life. And if you just accept that, like life is 50, 50, there's negative emotion and positive emotion. No matter where you are in your life, no matter how old you are, you just have different problems, right? And so if you know that at a million dollars, you're still going to be about 50, 50 when you get married, when you have kids, you're still going to be. It's just going to be a different type of it, then I think we can be in less. In a hurry to get to the place.

And you're less resistant to the problem.

Right, exactly. And you're not like, why are there problems? I'm supposed to be happy. There's supposed to be no problem.

God, I get that.

Yeah.

I. And now, Brooke, I learn through mistakes.

Yeah, we all do, buddy.

So I just hurry up to the mistakes.

Okay.

So I will learn from them.

Okay. See?

Money. What do I say every time we go to make a video?

Oh, come on. What's my catchphrase? Every time I go to make a video? Let's make some mistakes.

Let's make some mistakes.

Right? It's like, yeah, look, I'm not going to figure this out. Let's hurry up and make some mistakes.

Yeah. Is there a.

Is there a different way to do it?

No. Here's the thing.

I don't.

I don't think the mistakes are avoidable. I think you have to make the mistakes. I think being in a hurry. Why are you in a hurry to make mistakes? Because you think you're going to get done with the mistakes?

Because I will learn faster.

Yeah, well, maybe if. I think if you're willing to walk into mistakes quickly, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. You know what I think makes the difference between success and failure is what you make the mistake mean afterwards. That's it. That's the difference.

Would you expound on that?

Yeah. So, like, I always try and teach my clients this. So, like, free for you once you own the Cleveland Indians, okay. Just imagine yourself owning them. They're yours.

Right? Got it. Then eye black on my eye. I got Moran 13 on my back. I'm in the dugout.

Yeah. And so every big mistake you make, like, let's say you try to build a team for capitalism.com and try to build some systems, doesn't work out quite the way you wanted it. You're going to make that mean something? Like what? What are you going to make it mean?

I'm a failure. And I'm. I'll always be a failure.

Okay. But let's, you know, take the time machine to you already on the Cleveland Indians. What do you think about that? Then this looking back on this, what do you think?

That was no big deal.

It was cute.

Like.

Yeah, it's a cute little thing that happens. Right? That's the thing that I think most of us. Most of us, like, define ourselves from our past instead of from our future. And I think that. That if we can define yourself all the way, you Know you're going to be success. That's what I think propels you forward faster.

And is that. Is that the case with, like, weight loss clients?

Yes, of course. Because people start. They start losing weight, they gain some back. But if you know you're going to be thin eventually, if you're 100% sure of it, the way you interpret that was, remember that one time I overate versus I'm never going to lose weight. I'm a terrible person. I'll always be fat.

So. So it. It is. It's just almost like resting in the future version. Of course.

But you have. This is what I would say to my clients. You have to believe harder. Like, look how hard. Do you really believe you're going to own the Cleveland. Like, really?

Yes.

Like, genuinely?

Yes.

So that's it. Like, you just have to believe harder. People set goals and they believe in them until the first mistake happens, the first failure happens, and then they said, oh, I guess that's not going to happen.

That's interesting.

I would. I really like for you to expound on that. I don't know what I want you to say about it, but I feel like I'm almost on the cusp of understanding this completely.

Yeah.

Like, I get this conceptually, but the way I'm hearing this is like. Like, we tend to view our. Our present is, like, infinite. Like, it's always going to be this way. And what you're saying is view almost the ideal version of ourselves as infinite. And this is a blip along.

Well, here's the thing that's unique about you. So think about this. Like most people, if you ask them, can you make a million dollars? They'll say, no. And you'll say, why? And they'll say, because I've never done it before and I don't know how. Right. Those are the reasons I've never done it before. And I don't know how. And I don't know how because I've never done it before. Right. That's what most. Most of our students will probably say. So what makes you think you can own the Cleveland Indians? Do you know how to own them?

No.

Right. So what makes you believe in something you don't know how to do?

I just choose to.

Right. That is huge. You're making a decision to believe in something in the future that you don't know how to do now. What's great about not knowing how to do it is you're going to try and do it this way, and that's not going to Work.

So it doesn't matter. You're just gonna. You're still gonna believe in it. You're gonna try a different way. You're gonna try a different way now. If you knew how. You thought you knew how to own them, and you tried that one way and it didn't work, then you'd give up.

That's beautiful.

You see the difference.

So it's like, you're good at this lifestyle.

You believe in it no matter what, and you may have to try 700 ways, but it's just another way that didn't work. It's okay. You're still gonna own them.

So what's. For some reason, the way I'm processing what you're saying is.

The way you.

Just said it is it took all of the.

Unhealthy attachment to the meaning of it out of it.

Of course. Yeah. That's what you got to do.

Okay. So I'm learning this for the first time.

Okay.

So you say that like, of course. That's what happens, obviously. So it was almost like the heaviness of what it means about me was removed. Like, this is the goal. I'm going to try these different ways. And this is, as Gary Vee would say, it's just like the pursuit of owning the jets.

Right.

Right.

And if I get there or not, it doesn't matter. I'm committed to the result and the path that it puts me on. And that's how. That's how I feel about the Indians, of course. But there have been times where I literally felt like a failure because I didn't own the Indians yet at 26.

Right.

And I didn't know how I was going to get there. Right. So when it just became about, well, I'm just. I don't know how I'm going to get there. But that's the end point. And it doesn't mean anything about me now. I felt like freed up to pursue it.

Exactly. And what will I. Like what you just said there? What will it mean if, at the end of your life, you don't own the Cleveland Indians?

Just meant that I didn't own the Indians.

Nothing. It means nothing. But it doesn't mean you ever stop believing that you will. Like, even on your deathbed, you're like, oh, it's coming. I got him. You know what I mean? That's. I think, your relationship with yourself, you don't give up on yourself and your beliefs for anything, especially some little failure along the way that you make it mean. Like, I've made this statement out there in the world and I'm not proving it true yet. There must be something wrong with me.

Right? Right.

That's the. You have to always just review, wait, how hard am I believing in my dream? And most of us are. We trade our dreams so fast. That's why it's so cool to publicly proclaim them.

Scare. One of the scariest things, because you're.

Like, I better get my ass back to believing.

Right. Because I put it out there in the world. I love that.

One of the exercises I, I have people go through in our trainings is take the goal of the business and post about it on Facebook.

Love it. Yes.

And that just drives you to start doing it. Do you have to self coach yourself all the time as you're going through like 300,000 to a million to 10 million to beyond?

Yeah.

What does that look like to coach yourself?

You know what's interesting is once I made like I had written down that I wanted to make $10 million and put it on a piece of paper and on my bedside and when I was making like 300k and I would look at that and I'm like, every time I look at it I'm like, that's never going to happen. Like literally it was just like this weird thing that I had put there. And then now then once I made 10 million, I was like, oh, money is easy. Like I can make 100 million and I know that I'll make 100 million. Like there's not even a little bit of doubt. But I'll tell you what my new work that I'm doing is. I took on a group of coaches that I want to. All the brand new baby coaches, I want to get them all to 100k. And that is the work that I'm doing now because I'm believing for them and creating the space for them to have that dream and making it my own dream too, which is challenging because they don't do what I tell them to do. Right. So that's, that's my next kind of layer of work. So I have to coach myself on believing that that's possible, that all 10 of them will get to 100k because of the way I'm advising them. And so that's a daily pursuit of can I believe in something that I really don't have any control over? Right. Because do I really have control over making $100 million? How do you do that? I have no idea.

You have some control, but you don't have control of the result. You have control about how you show up.

I have control over how hard I believe. And that has changed everything. So as soon as I get frustrated, that's when I go off course. But if I'm like, oh no, this is as good as done, I'm not sure how I get there yet, but I'm going to believe. Then all of a sudden I get great ideas and stuff comes to me. So I just stay really focused on that end game.

Can I ask what the primary revenue driver of the business is?

It's pretty equal between scholars and certification.

Okay. So people who are going through a certification and then your. Your group coaching.

Yeah.

And so do you put an equal amount of marketing into both of those or does one drive?

Yeah, most people come to my coaching program and decide to become a coach. So I don't really market my certification program. That's pretty organic.

Yeah, so. So that's a really good example of that whole one thing philosophy that makes everything else easier or unnecessary. You knocked over that domino.

Yes.

And now you kind of have this nucleus through which you can do whatever you would like from there. Do you know how you're going to get to 100 million?

No.

Okay.

I don't need to know. Just like you don't need to know about the end, Right? Yeah.

But you. But how long ago were you doing 300k?

4 years. But think about this. That's crazy. Let me ask you this question. So when you had your exit, you haven't revealed how much that was for, Right. We know it was eight figures.

Yeah.

Okay, so you had an eight figure exit. Let's go back three years ago. Could you have told me how you were going to do that?

No.

No way. You know when the recipe comes, when you get the money, then you know how you did it. That's all. That's when you figure it out. Isn't that crazy? You don't know how you did it until you do it.

So when you're working with people, how do you. Believing hard. Okay, that's great.

Yeah. But it's not just great that it's everything. It's the most important thing because it's.

The more important than the model.

Oh, 100. Because the first model you do isn't going to work.

I need you to keep talking.

Of course the first model you do is going to get you to what, 17 million? That's where I'm at right now. That same model is not going to get me to 100. I don't know how I'm going to 100. It's going to be fun. It's going to be exciting.

So I guess what I'm asking is how do you then figure it out?

You know what you do the next thing and you know what's going to happen, it's not going to work. And then you know what you do. This is like the three step process to making $100 million. Try something, fail, try something else, fail. Like, that's it. Like, think of how many failures you had to go through in order to succeed.

Like, so many, so many.

And how many people after the first one are just like, listen, entrepreneurship is just not for me. The Internet's broken.

And why do you think people create that story? Because it's not like, just about entrepreneurship, it's also about losing weight or because.

That is literally how our brain is designed.

What do you mean?

Our brain is designed to learn in the past and then reference the past for everything in the future.

Right. That's how we're designed for survival. Basically. It's like, look at things, pay attention to things that are scary. Stay away from those things.

Yeah, I see. Okay. So it's the interpretation of that was painful.

That was awful. That was humiliating.

The meaning that we put around the failure.

Yeah.

And if it means nothing, you're like, I still have the goal.

Well, exactly.

But if it means pain, then you're going to go, I don't like pain. I'm going to do something else. Entrepreneurship's not for me.

Yeah. And I always like to kind of reference that future self. My future self never says to me, that was a stupid idea. You shouldn't have done it. So I was like, oh, no, there's something you needed to learn there. What is it? That's a stepping stone. Every failure just moves us forward along. Yeah.

What do you do with clients to get them really clear on what they want their future selves to look like?

That's actually a really good question because that's. That is not something that I feel like can be coached out of someone. I think that's something that has to be self discovered. And I've had clients that just want to make a declaration because they think they'll be excited about it, and it just doesn't work. People say, I want to make a million dollars, I want to make a billion dollars. And they don't have a good why behind it. They don't have a, like, why do you want to own the Indians?

I can't imagine anything more fun.

Like, just super fun. It doesn't have to be like because it'll save the world or something. It's just like, that would be so fun. And I love the idea of $100 million. Not because I need. What am I going to do with $100 million? Like, seriously, you run out of things to. To buy it. You really genuinely do. But it's just, like, I always want to be an example of what is possible. And if I can be, like, I'm a life coach that made $100 million to me, the exact same reason, I can't imagine anything more fun. Yeah, right. It's not because. Oh, then I'll prove to you, my brother, that I was worthy.

And most people, I think, are operating from that place. Most realize when I have $100 million, then I won't have validation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everybody will think I'm cool. Actually, people just think your stuff is cool. They don't really know it.

And they're like, yeah, when is enough is enough. You know, it's like. Then you get this whole, like, backlash of why do you need so much money? And all that sort of stuff. So if that's the other thing, you got to get to the point where you don't really care what other people think about your life.

Are you at that place already?

I'm real close. If I'm not there, I'm real close.

I think it's easier for dudes. Am I wrong about that?

I don't know. I've never been a woman.

You haven't?

No.

I. I think, like, I don't know. I was raised to kind of keep an eye out for what people were thinking of me and make sure I was appropriate and attractive to and pleasing to people. And so since I let that go, I've spent way more fun because, you know, you get haters.

How did that shift happen for you?

I just decided that my opinion of myself was so bad when I was trying to get everyone else's opinion of me to be so good that I decided to just switch it.

When was that? I don't know.

Probably about 10 years ago.

Okay.

And I just. I have to keep working on it every. Like, it's crazy. The more successful I get, the more I have to keep working on it, because haters come out of the woodwork when you're the more public you are, I think. Yeah.

And I've noticed it now takes a lot more for that to come out for me of caring. People think. Yeah, Yeah. I still don't really care what they think. It just. It still hurts.

Yeah.

Like, I mean, You. This might shock you, but we really do read YouTube comments and Facebook comments. Like when you. When you.

I don't believe you.

I really swear to God, I don't. Like, I just cannot put my brain on the negative stuff. But here's the trick. If you're not going to read. If you're going to read them, you have to take them both with a grain of salt. Right. So we want to read the good stuff and be like, I'm amazing. And then we read the bad stuff. We're like, oh, but I. I know the amazing stuff where people say I'm so amazing is about them.

Yep.

Really, it is. And the stuff where they say I'm.

Terrible is about them.

And that really sets me.

So what I found is, is I'm now immune to them up to a certain point.

Yeah. Nice.

It just takes more in order to trigger me in some way. And that's the. So it takes a different level of feedback in the marketplace for me to be okay with it.

Yeah.

But the more that I work on that, the bigger things get.

Yeah.

And vice versa.

That's why I say I still have to always work on it. Yeah.

Yeah.

Because we're trained. I mean, not trained where we are trained, but our brains are programmed to be. Belong. Right. To be part of the tribe so we don't die.

So, Brooke, these feel to me like these are life lessons that take years, sometimes decades to learn. And what I want to ask, if there's a faster way and you're already telling me with your. Your head that.

Here's what I think. I think like, both of us will be slightly different for the rest of our lives because of this conversation today. And I think that that's true. Right. I think that it doesn't have to take. If you like, listen to yourself and like, if you have optimism, aha. Moments and you actually apply them, it could be. It really can be immediate. You don't think that what.

What can be immediate?

Like epiphany or a new idea or a new belief about yourself. Like, I decided one day that I just was never gonna hate myself. Like the way I looked physically ever again. Like I grew up self loathing. I just decided enough is enough.

This is.

I'm not ever gonna do it again. I never did. I do think you can do that. You can just quit drinking. You can quit doing stuff that hurts you. Not that drinking hurt you. I was doing it in a way that hurt me. But like doing things, talking to yourself in a negative voice, self pity, whining. At yourself, complaining, excuses, really anything, they can just stop 100%. You just make a commitment to do it. I really do believe you can do that. Think about something in your life that you thought you couldn't do. It's kind of like my mother in law never could sweat, quit smoking ever, ever, ever. Tried everything. And then she got cancer, never smoked again that minute.

So do you think it's a pain threshold thing?

No, I think for her she just changed her mind like that. Right. She said, I'll never smoke again and never did.

For, for a lot of people, like they have to reach a certain amount of pain.

Oh, I hear what you're saying. Yeah.

In order to make that change. And you're saying, you're saying you can do that without having to hit the pain.

I think, I think it's actually sometimes the opposite. It's like the willingness to do it. You have to allow for the pain. Right. So when you give up, like, complaining is so indulgent. Excuses are so indulgent. They feel a little bit good. Right. Especially if we sit here and complain about the same thing together. Like, oh, it's so hard making so much money. It's just a burden, right. And you complain. But if you're like, I'm never going to do that again. I'm never gonna, like, I'm never gonna complain about paying taxes again ever. Because it's a privilege of my life to be able to live in this country and pay taxes. Like, what if you just decide to believe that for the rest of your life you can just do.

That'd be a false belief.

You should pay zero tax. That that is correct. Right.

Or just like. And I'm not saying that there's something you could just decide like, okay, this feels terrible. This isn't serving me. I'm not going to believe it anymore. Now there are things that you have to spend more time on, but I don't think it's necessary. I think we make things so much harder than they have to be.

You, you said two interesting things there that I'm trying to piece together. You said it's being okay with the pain.

Yeah.

Being okay with what pain?

So like, for example, if you decide, like so many of my clients don't want to, they want to lose weight. Right. So it's actually easier not to overeat than it is to overeat, like physically, like you pick up the fork fewer times. Right. The hard part is the experience of whatever deprivation, that kind of pain, like giving up that instant gratification that costs us all of our dreams is the pain. We have to be willing to. That's a discomfort. I always say that discomfort is the currency to your dreams. You have to be willing to be in that space of not giving in to everybody. Single temptation.

For me.

I think this. This came from entrepreneurship, but there was like a need to be doing something all the time.

Right?

There's like. There's like the need. If I'm going to work for this, I got to fill every hour with what I'm going to do. And then in comes Brooke Castillo, who has. Who works three days a week and is beating me. So my. My thesis on this is that as.

A result, beating you. I love dudes. Everything is a scorpion hard.

It's so good. Well, here's. Here's the thing. What that indicates is that you've learned something that has given you a shift. And I want to. I. I want that shift.

Okay. I'm gonna give it to you right now. Right.

Tell me.

Okay, you're sitting at home, It's Tuesday at 2. What should you be doing?

It's Tuesday at 2.

Yeah.

I have no idea.

You should be working, right? Probably.

Okay.

Yeah, you should be working. So what is it like for you to not be working?

I. The. The process in my brain is going. I should be doing. I should be figuring out. I should at least be learning something. I shouldn't be discovering the next thing, pushing over the next domino, looking at a to do list.

Why?

So that I can discover the next breakthrough.

Yeah. So believing that you always have to be pushing yourself and. And on yourself and hustling to be able to have that breakthrough.

Right.

Is a lie. Right. So you can have it. You can actually work less and achieve more. It sounds like something such lame, but it really is because it comes from a lack of confidence, feeling like you need to always be discovering the next thing so you can get to the place because you got to own the Indians.

Right.

But if you believe it, you're like, what's the hurry? I'm gonna own them.

Yeah.

Like, genuinely believe that.

Where do you think breakthroughs come from?

I. From having the space to think. I call it super thinking. If you never give yourself a chance to, like, solve your own problems because you're always in your problems, you never use your own wisdom to grow.

So I think that, like, you do a lot of this stuff, though, don't you? Meditate and have the space for you? Well, I mean.

I mean, since I sold the company and then hit that big wall, all Right. Burnt out and did a bunch of stupid. Made a bunch of stupid decisions and invested in things I shouldn't have invested in.

Okay, wait, stop. Can we just take a minute? We're, like, coaching Timeout.

Here we go.

Remember we decided those weren't stupid and it wasn't terrible and it wasn't wild.

And a lot of lessons, like, what if.

But seriously, like, what if you didn't interpret. Like, I can tell even when you're.

Talking about that, you're like, u. Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah. You have to totally reinterpret all of that, because if you have the. It's going to anchor you down. And if you see it as something that was like, of course you did that. Like, obviously, you did that. Right. That was the next step. Glad you did it quickly.

I like that a lot better.

Yeah, it's. Seriously, I can't. I know it sounds coachy and all that, but it's so big. You're letting that pull you down so I can, like, feel it.

Yeah. I think. I think you're absolutely right about that.

Yeah.

Can you give me a new belief out of that?

Yeah. Tell me what it really was.

Remember, we're going.

We already own the Indians. We're talking about. Remember when you were a little guy and you did that little thing like, what's that about?

That's a great reframe for. So from that perspective, it was a speed bump that gave me the breather for me to discover my next moves.

Dude, that was it. Right. It's not even like you made a mistake. It was just, like the next logical thing that you were gonna, of course, have to do.

Right.

It helps so much because it just keeps moving you forward.

And as I said before, it sped up the mistakes that I would have carried on for years and years and years. It got them out of the way so that I could clear all that gunk and move forward to the next breakthrough.

Yeah, but you're using it against yourself still. That's why you got to let it go.

Okay, tell me more.

Yeah, just don't. You're, like, using it. I don't really know exactly how you're doing it, but I can tell it's something that you're like. That made me less than I thought I was. Somehow.

I felt that way at the time. Yeah, but. But looking back on it from the Cleveland Indians owner's box.

Yeah.

What that did is it just made me go inside myself and learn and, like, free myself of a lot of old patterns that I had to get Rid of. In order to put me on the path to owning the Indians.

Okay, so from here to the Indians. How many more times do you do stuff just like that?

Zero.

No, like 105.

Well, I mean, that's in a different flavor, right? Right in the same mistake.

Different flavor. And how you interpret every single one of those depends on how quickly you get there. Like, we want it to just be smooth. The bride just tells us how to get there and we'll go. But it's just like, oh, it's just going to be a mess. That's the point.

And we think that once we get there, all the other stuff will be.

Yeah. Then you won't have any problems with that team. Once you own them, you won't care about winning. It'll just be. You'll just be grateful to own them.

Yeah, every day will be amazing.

I'm pretty sure that's not how it's gonna go.

So here's, here's my question. Do you think that there is a point in which people reach their highest good or highest happiness?

It has to be right now.

That's the only way it works, right? It has to be now. You have to know it never gets better than this. And that's a beautiful thing. And I'm still gonna own the Indians.

What do you mean it never gets better than this?

It never gets better than this. This is as good as it always gets. Like what if that's true and then the rest of it is just for fun? Because it is pretty good, right?

Yes.

Oh yeah.

And it also sucks. And I'm not mad about that because I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be the human experience. Because if it doesn't suck, we don't know that it's great.

Yeah, I, I think that like this, the self development world like to say the, the past does not equal the future.

I hope not.

Well, well, I think the past is a pretty damn good predictor of the future. But you can change now.

Yeah, it's only a good predictor of the future if you're using it to predict your future.

Well, today is like. Today is tomorrow's past. So if you want the future to be different than the past, you have to change today.

Well, and you have to think from the future. You have to create.

That's a real interesting braingasm. Yeah.

You have to, you have to create your life from the future, not from your past. Because you create from your past. Of course you're just going to keep repeating it. Most people do look at how often do you run into a friend you haven't seen in three years? You're like, what's new? They're like, nothing. You're like, you're right.

Yeah.

They're just repeating their life. Right. Because think about when we're kids, we always create from the future. We're always thinking about when we're gonna go to college and when we're gonna get married and when we're gonna get our job. And then all of a sudden we start just creating from our past.

You think that's healthy, though, to keep doing that? Yeah.

Creating from the future?

Well, I mean, the sense of. I. I know that, like, some of my hardest years are right after college because there was like, there was this point and there was this point and when I graduate and when I get. When I do start a business, and then it was like, at what point am I just happy with now?

But you have to be happy and have a great future. That's why I said happy is now. The problem you had then was, I'm not happy now, but I will be when I get there.

Right.

That's the big. And I see so many people trying to start businesses, so many entrepreneurs who believe that, like, once I get to a million. As if a million dollars in the bank, or once I get my exit. Yes.

Right.

Then it's all going to be great.

Now. Now, you said earlier that when people reach the goal, then they get pissed.

Yeah. Because everything isn't perfect. They're not happy 100 of the time. They're not thinner, they're not younger. Everyone isn't more beautiful. Like, really, people think it's all going to be rainbows and daisies and they hold that hope out because they're miserable here, but they're waiting to be happy. Then you have to be happy. Now, whatever it is you think you're going to have when you get the Indians, you have to have that now.

That's what gets you the Indians. And if somebody gets there, do you then have them set a new future?

Of course. But you have. But you have to be as happy as you're ever going to be now.

Yeah.

That's hard for people to reconcile it.

This is. But it always puts you back into the present.

Yeah.

And that's where life happens, of course.

Never gets better than this. And next year will be the best year I've ever had. Right. That's the. That's kind of the way that I like to look at the world. It's like, I don't mind the Negative stuff. Because I know that that's half of my life. I'm all in. I know that I'm going to be so uncomfortable on the way to 100 miles.

And you choose it.

Yeah. Because what's the alternative? Being super uncomfortable making a million? You might as well get rich.

Brooke, thank you for this. You got it. This is fun. Where do people find you?

LifeCoachGoal.com? anywhere else on itunes. Life Coach Goal podcast. You'll see me right above 1%.

Get out of my house, Brooke.

You look in the rankings there. I'll be.

I'm inspired by you. I'm challenged by you. And I just so grateful to have you here.

Yeah. Thank you for having me. Call your friends. Amazing lake house.

Well, thank you. Thank you very much.

It's awesome.

I feel like I should close out in podcast voice.

Thank you so much for joining us.

Thank you for joining us today. If you have a free book.

Brooke, thanks for hanging out with us.

You got it. Thank you.

That was fun.

We, like, geeked out on, like, life coach stuff. Are you people gonna like that? Oh, yeah. Okay.

Oh, yeah.

All right. Good.

People like it when I get uncomfortable.

Did you get uncomfortable?

I. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean. I mean, like, when I was challenged.

Yeah, right.

And you challenged me.

You didn't seem uncomfortable.

I'm comfortable being challenged.

I prefer crying when you're uncomfortable.

I was actually out with a couple friends and we were talking about. I had somebody come up to me once. They're like, hey, Ryan, what do you do about gold diggers, man? Like, how do you deal with gold diggers? I'm like, I don't know. I'm not attracted to gold diggers. And he says, yeah, but how do you know? How do you know? I'm like, I don't know if a girl's after me for my stuff. I just kind of read that, and I'm not into it. I. Man, I don't know how, you know, how you keep away the gold diggers. It's like, just not attracted to them. And I was telling that story, and I was like, but on the other hand, if there's a really, you know, poised, cute, humble girl, I'm like.

So either way, I don't have to talk to girls. Either way, don't have to talk to girls. It's perfect. Yeah.

Oh, my God. That's so funny.

So I'm good either way.

Oh, my God. Teenage boys, they both go to college next year.

Wow. You're gonna be an empty nester.

And I Am like the anti college and both my kids are going to college.

Oh, wow.

I just figured out.

Yeah, it's a waste. Well, I mean. I mean, it's an experience. Different for some.

It is an experience.

I was at a Christian school where, you know, there were no guys in girls dorm rooms. You know, I didn't have to talk to girls, right? Yeah. It's like I mastery in all areas of life, except if there's a pretty girl in the room.

I'm a millionaire. Dad, don't lead with that. Do you like corn bacon? What?

I have an hourglass in my office. Bye. Stop it.

Can't you help him? You're with him all the time. You do help him.

I'm not a good wingman because I'm not any better.

That is too funny, you guys. All right.

Can you life coach that out of me?

No.

Okay, that's good.

It's going to complicate. That's good.

Because if you did, I'd have to talk to girls. Horrible. Complicating.

What can't you find, like, a entrepreneur? I think that would be so fun.

I would never want to be an entrepreneur.

Yeah, I think that would be amazing. No, no.

Because then we would never do anything but talk work.

Yeah.

I want my relationship to.

To be outside of work.

Yeah. Like, I want to be able to be present in that.

Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. It's cool to have like a.

Hold on.

I want to go in a completely different area. How long have you been married?

22 years.

How do you feel about marriage?

I love marriage.

You do?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. As an institution.

Yeah.

What do you love about it?

I just love that it's kind of like when you get a protocol for food and you just stick to it, you never have to think about food again. Like, I just love being married. I love that I got my guy and then I never have to think about them. I have people, they spend so much time thinking about it.

Yeah.

Who they're gonna date, going out. I can't imagine dating. I don't see.

I don't spend a lot of mental thought about dating. Like the whole swipe this, I'm like, what do you do with your time?

Seriously? That is awful.

I don't want to spend my time trying to prove myself to somebody, so I don't spend any thought thinking about it.

Yeah.

But I don't know how I feel about marriage. For me.

All right. Do you date a lot, though? Do you have.

No, no, no, no. I. I don't like so you don't.

Mind not having a relationship?

I don't mind not having a relationship.

But.

But I. I don't like having a lot of first dates.

Oh.

Like, I don't, like. I don't want to go out with a person and never see them again.

I like depth.

Yeah.

Yeah, me too. That's why I like being married. I like that he knows all the things. Okay. And then, like, you know, I come home and he's like, yeah, no. Or. Or he knows, like, not to. That, like, we're just best friends, too. I love being married. Good. Especially my kids are. But I think it has to be the right person. Yeah.

I did. I want. I wonder if that.

I wonder if. Do you expect that to change at all once your kids go off to school?

Our relationship.

Yeah.

You know what it is about our relationship, and this is what I teach all my students about, is like. Like, you have to be a full person that meets your own needs, and they have to be a full person that meets their own needs, and you just come together and it's fun. Like, your only job is just to be there for me to love you. That's it. Like, you don't have to, like, do stuff to make me happy in this marriage.

That's when marriage is totally terrible. Yeah.

It's like, you're not making me happy because you're not meeting my needs. And that's what they teach you in therapy. Seriously. Like, tell him what your needs are, and then he'll tell you what his needs are, and then you can spend your whole life just focusing on this other person and being. Being needy. Yeah, we don't do any of that.

Yeah. That's good.

We're 100 ourselves, and then we're very independent.

Were your parents together?

Divorced.

Okay.

My dad was an alcoholic, died when I was young, so. But my mom's been with. Not married to my stepdad, who's really not my stepdad for, you know, 30 years. Yeah. And so they're not married, and I think it's the exact same thing. I don't think you have to have a piece of paper to say you're married. Why don't you believe in it?

I don't not believe it.

Oh, okay. You're just not into it.

I. I don't know. I'd be totally open to it.

Yeah.

I just don't feel that way right now.

Yeah.

Because.

Because you're young, though, Right?

How old do you think I am?

32?

31.

Okay.

I. I feel like.

Right now I Crave depth and relationships and being known and fun.

Yeah.

And A, I can have that without being married.

Totally. Yeah.

And B, I don't think that. I don't know how I feel about having that with the same person for the rest of my life. I, I, it's possible.

Yeah.

But I think, I think that is more the exception than the rule. Well.

And you know what's interesting is we're totally open to the idea that we won't be married forever. And I think that's what makes us want to be married forever, because we're like, hey, if at any point this isn't totally cool for both of us, I don't want him staying with me if he doesn't want to be with me. Right.

Yeah.

So then, but so we don't know. The kids go away to college. I'm like, what are you doing here?

I think that's so healthy.

I'm open to it. Right. Like, I had a girlfriend coming to me one time. Chef, divorce isn't an option. I'm like, then you must have a terrible marriage.

Right.

Because it's not an option. Then you're just forced to be together. Oh.

So I think you have to. It's the parameters you put around what marriage means, too. Right? Yeah.

It's like.

It'S like you're creating the rules.

Yeah, of course. Yeah.

And most people just fall into the rules and try to force themselves into the rules.

Most people just care about the wedding, is the problem. Most people get married when they're young and they care about the wedding. I have. I know you're recording. I can't tell you the story. It's a really good story.

Oh, we're recording some solid extra footage.

But I think I, I have some, some associates that, you know, in their religion, they can't be intimate until they get married, and so they're just getting married to be intimate. And I'm like, I just want. I'm like, dude, I would have married that guy. That would have been a mistake. Right. I feel like I understand that there's values and stuff around that, but I think that that kind of stipulation around marriage I don't think makes a lot of sense. So I don't believe in that kind of marriage, if that's what you mean. Or stay married for marriage sake. Yeah.

So this is like.

That'S where the institution of marriage came from, was to formalize that family structure.

Yeah.

And. And now we get to make it.

Mean whenever we want. Right.

So is, so is it necessary No.

I don't think so. I think it's cool, though. Okay. I think it's just kind of like that line in the sand. Declaration.

Yeah, I get that. I get that. Yeah.

But I do think both people have to want it. I think when other people, like, make other people get married. If you love me, you'd marry me. It's a no.

Then. I. It's just not something I am ready for right now.

It's because you haven't found the right person. Maybe, like, looking for someone to get married to I think is the wrong way to do it. Find someone and be like, hey, do we think we want to get married?

No.

Yes. Okay. Why? But there's a lot of people that want to be married.

Yes.

Just like, there's a lot. Because when you get married, you know what happens? Everything's better.

And you're happy all the time.

Yeah.

Just look at all married people. Isn't that crazy? We think that, like, oh, we could just get married. But look at most married people. They don't want to be married. So get passing. That's what we think.

So you really like being yourself, don't you?

Yeah, that's awesome. Aren't you? Don't you?

Yes, but not all the time.

See, I'm having a great time with my life. See?

See? So this is. This is a lot of deep work for me to be able to say that.

Okay. So acknowledge that.

No, no, no, no, no.

Ryan, unplugged.

Take note. Deep thoughts.

You're real bad for my ego.

Brooks. To be nicer. Aren't I supposed. Yeah, no, say that. Tell me why. So.

So what I'm getting at is realizing there are parts of my life that I wasn't like. I didn't like being me and how going into that, first of all, it sucked, but once you do that, it's like, all right. Oh, there I am.

Yeah.

Oh, I really do like me.

Yeah. So.

So I know that there's still areas where, like, I don't like that about myself. I don't like, like, that. Insecurity comes up in this point, and the more I dive into that, I was like, oh, I really do like being me.

Yeah. And, you know, you can just decide to like the parts of yourself that you think you don't like.

I really like that neurotic, crazy part of my brain.

I'm serious.

Yeah.

I'm, like, not even kidding when I say that, like, you can just decide, like, that's all part of the deal.

Yeah. I get that.

The stuff that I had, like, when I was over drinking too much alcohol, that's when I was like, I don't like that. That kind of stuff, I think is like, what's going on there. Those things are worth changing with, like, the neurotic stuff, the human stuff.

Oh, yeah, of course.

It's like, oh, my ego got involved there. You see that.

Right?

It's not like, oh, my God, I should be better. It's like, oh, no. Human. And this is what I found is the more I accept. Like, you're the hardest person you're ever gonna.

Of course, love.

Right. So when you start loving yourself, you're like, I can, like, all the people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can like all the people that don't like the same things I like. It's weird.

Yeah.

Our country has a hard time with that.

Yeah. Well, we have a lot of unhappy people, Right.

That are just mad about a lot of really stupid shit.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. And they. And they think that the solution is outside of themselves.

Yeah.

And so of course they're going to hate other people. Of course they're going to look down on other people. The minute that you're happy with you, you just have, like, this abundance where it's like, everything's a bonus. Well.

And when other people are assholes, you're like, oh, yeah, I'm an asshole, too, sometimes. Like, seriously, it's like, oh, and I can, like, my. When I'm an asshole. So I can, like, extend that.

That's cool.

Yeah. It's like, we can understand that. We're all. And like, when people hate me, I'm like, I get it. Like, I've spent a lot of time hating me, too. I'm pretty easy to hate.

I get it.

And then life is just. It's just more fun. Yeah. Yeah.

That's great. I like you.

Well, I like you too. Right.

Awesome.

Can I get a clip of that?

Yeah, I got it all.

Sam.