11 Dec 2025 · 7 min
Ryan Daniel Moran explains how to find mentors using the relationship bank account: make deposits before withdrawals. Put yourself in rooms with people who've done what you want, figure out what they need, and give it to them first.
This is so vastly important because who you become and the results that you get are determined by who you surround yourself with.
Build a business, Invest the profits. I'm Ryan Daniel Moran, and this is Freedom Fast Lane.
Hey, everybody, I'm Ryan Daniel Moran with capitalism.com Today we're talking about how to find mentors. This is one of the most commonly asked questions that I'm asked outside of, hey, will you mentor me? I love getting that question because I respond with no, and I'll explain why. I don't mean to come across as overly douchey with that response, but what we're gonna talk about in this video is something that I call the relationship bank account. And the relationship bank account is you have two people, and the reason why you're in a relationship with another person is because they bring some value to your life in some way. And the more that you bring each other value in that relationship, the more you can make withdrawals from that bank account. The more you deposit into the bank account, the more you can withdraw. We've all dealt with a relationship with the person that we might call an ask hole. The person who just wants and takes and extracts as much as possible. No one likes them, but for some reason, I think entrepreneurs have this blind spot about finding mentors, and they forget that just like all relationships, mentors need to have deposits made in their relationship bank account. And that's what we're going to talk about in this video. This is so vastly important because who you become and the results that you get are determined by who you surround yourself with. It's how our brains work. Our brains are made to be like the people that we're around to normalize what's going on around us. And so there's something to be said about listening to podcasts, like we put out a ton of podcasts@capitalism.com or watching videos like this one, or being a part of masterminds and conferences and events. And we'll talk about that in a second. But for the context of this conversation, what I'm really referencing is that one on one relationship, a real mentor who you're with over the long term. So in order to find that person, like, who do you seek out as a mentor? Number one is we've got to put ourselves in the position to meet that type of a person. So it's, again, real common for people to reach out to me on the Internet and say, you don't know me. Will you spend five years mentoring me? No, I don't know who you are. I'm in no position.
To receive any value from you. I have no context for no right. And people who have accomplished something get dozens of messages like that sometime on a daily or weekly basis. So no. So what you have to do is put yourself in the position to be around those people face to face, or at least interacting online in some sort of a natural way. So that can come by joining communities, by paying for masterminds, by paying for mentorship, by going to events and conferences. And if you can't afford that, finding out what that conference or that mastermind needs and finding a way to get it to them. But you just sitting there asking gets you nowhere. Putting yourself in the position to be seen. So an opportunity shows up. That's your best bet of identifying the right person that you might enter into a relationship with. Number two, it's identify the person who has built or done what you want to do, whether that's fitness or has the marriage that you want or has the finances that you want. And there's something also to be said about having a mentor for different areas of life. I have several mentors that have been, you know, mentoring me for years, some 10 years, some only a year. And I seek them out based on a certain result or sometimes just a mindset that they have that I want to download. Maybe they think really big and it's bigger than I think and I just want to normalize that. Or maybe they're just really happy in their marriage and I want to find out, you know, what are they doing? Maybe they just have great work, life balance, and that's something I need in my life. So by surrounding yourself with people, mentors and peers, that trains your brain to normalize that. So we have to be in the right room and seek out the person that has accomplished what it is that we want to accomplish. From there, you've got to find the give. Number three is find out what they want and give it to them. Find out what they don't have. Sometimes that's time. They don't have time to do X, Y and Z. You've got time because you're seeking out a mentor. So offer your time. That person.
Doesn'T have the body they want. The place that they need to grow might be a specialty of yours or, you know, someone who does. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be your resources, but you being a resourceful person and bringing resources to the people that you want to connect with is just as good. If you want to get the result that the mentor has, you have to help them get the results that they have in the area that you can. And sometimes that's offering free help, working for free for a year, bringing relationships to the table. Find out what they want and give it to them. We are human beings and human beings have a limited capacity for how many people we can pay attention to. And so if you want people to pay attention to you, you have to offer them value and offer it to them strategically so that you're surrounding yourself with people that that grow you, stretch you, and help you reach the results that you want. Let me know what you think of this video. Let me know in the comments. I also do a ton of videos here@capitalism.com, so make sure you are subscribed to the channel and that you are paying attention to the podcast. If you are looking for digital mentors or people that you want on your radar of who you might seek out, we bring on some of the most successful people in the world on the capitalism.com podcast. Just search for capitalism.com wherever you listen to podcasts. Thanks for watching and I'll see you on the next video.
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