Playing To Win vs Playing to Not Lose, A Stupid Mistake That Cost Me Millions

You're listening to Freedom Fast Lane, presented by capitalism dot com. This is the show about building businesses and investing the profits so that you can live life on your terms. And now, your host, the future owner of the Cleveland Indians, Ryan Daniel Moran.

Oh, hey, everybody. What's going on? Ryan here?

I'm experimenting with something. We're going to see how this goes. I'm streaming on my personal Facebook as well as my public page. I'm running kind of a split test to see what gets more engagement. We'll see what the numbers look like. I have some, well, some deep thoughts that I want to share of some things that have been going on and.

Some things that have been in my mind that I think are gonna help you.

Build a business and a life that are. That you're much happier with and that as a result, is going to grow much, much faster. At least based on the little bit of personal data that I have collected over my 12 plus years.

Of experimenting and making some really, really expensive mistakes that I hope you will enjoy.

At least enjoy learning from. So I wanted to share.

A way that I was inspired this week about.

Business.

Life that.

Gave me a little bit of a shift that.

Isn'T like, I need to be reminded of this very regularly because sometimes it has to kind of hit you in the face.

And it's the idea of playing to win versus playing to not lose. I grew up in Cleveland, Ohio, and my brother.

Was a big Cleveland Browns fan. Last year, or this, actually, a couple months ago, as a birthday present, I took him to the NFL draft. And the reason why I took him to the NFL draft was because in Cleveland, we lose so much that the draft is the thing we look most forward to because we always have a good pick because the team is so terrible. And I remember my brother watching Cleveland Browns games growing up. And we'd be at halftime and we'd be up by like three points and we'd be going into halftime and the Browns be up by three. And we would have this saying that we would say together, which is, I've seen this episode before. I'm a little afraid that the episode I've seen before is gonna be how it ends. Like, I kind of know they're gonna blow this somehow. And they'd be going into halftime and they would be at the. They'd be at like the 50 yard line and there'd be 29 seconds on the clock and the Browns would kneel to go into halftime, or they'd run the ball and my brother would go, they're playing to not lose. They're doing it again. They're not playing to win. They're playing to not lose.

And.

What that meant was that they started trying to defend what they had done up until that point. They had three points up on the, on the opposing team. And they would always blow it, and they would blow it because you now all of a sudden, they had something that they had to defend. They had something that they were going to lose. They had something on the line. And as human beings, we're wired not to be happy. We're wired to survive. And so instead of going full throttle after what it is that we want, we play defense most of the time because we can only see what we're giving up. We can't see what we will gain as the result of giving something up. I had a friend say once, if you're going through a breakup, you have to focus on the fact that you are not losing one person. You're gaining between 3 billion and 7 billion people depending on your sexual preferences. And the brain can't see what it's going to gain as the result of giving something up. It can only see what's in front of it that it's going to lose. And so we go through life experiencing this attachment to what it is that we. I got goosebumps. We go through life with this attachment of the things that we have and that we accumulate rather than what it is that we are pursuing. And I see this all the time in business where an entrepreneur will get something that is working, they will get something that.

That is creating momentum, that's creating some sort of success that they're excited about. And then they flip into defense mode and they lose the hunger that got them to the point where they were right now. And I only know because I do it too. And I'm gonna give you an example that has cost me a lot of money, but even more so, it's cost me a lot of happiness. And I've just been. I've been reflecting on this a great deal over the last couple of weeks, and I have made a lot of changes that.

I think are going to lead into a much different direction. And part of my process is documenting all of this, right? Is sharing all of this as part of the growth and part of the experiment. So I want to tell you a little bit about how I have messed this up and how it has cost me millions of dollars.

But before I go there, I would like to invite you, if you're running a business right now or Aiden, just Post in the comments. Even if you're an investor.

This obviously applies to investing. People play defense mode.

Or they play the short term game rather than playing the long term game.

And as a result we lose most of the benefit that would be there if we had stayed on offense. And again, an example of this to the point of it being investment related.

In 2011 12, I was absolutely certain, I mean I was convinced that we were going to have a double dip recession. I was convinced of this. The economic fundamentals just didn't make sense. We were growing based on cheap money. We were that people were overspending. It made no sense. There was a lot of mal investment in the marketplace and the economy was, was booming, all things considered. And I kept my money on the sidelines. I was playing defense.

And as a result I lost out on the biggest boom in economic history over the last seven years. I was not in the market because I was playing defense.

And what I have learned is that, you know, there's this, we used the football analogy earlier. Some people have said the best defense is a good offense and if we're not afraid to lose.

How would you play the game? And that's usually where I make good decisions. Now there's something to be said about risk control. Like.

I made a stupid investment recently.

I made a stupid investment where I got excited about a project. And really what I was excited about was the potential short term money that would be made. Not really winning at the investment game. I was going after a short term extraction, not going after where there was value to be had or even something that would make me happier. I was going for, I was going for the get, not going for the value creation. And I lost a lot of money in that investment. I lost a lot of it. So.

There are still stupid decisions.

When you don't mitigate risk. But when making life decisions or sometimes business decisions, I often ask myself the question.

What would I do if I was not afraid to lose? There's some people who will say what would you do if you were sure you would succeed or you were sure that you would not fail?

And I think that's really overdone that phrase. So instead I ask.

What would I do and how would I operate if I was not afraid to lose or afraid to miss out if I was playing on offense, how would I play this? Look, people, listen, please do not take as long as I as it took me to understand this idea.

It's really, really hard to fail. It's really, really hard.

And in 2018, it's really hard to fail so big.

That it affects your life or it affects your safety. We have it so good and so easy compared to even a hundred years ago. Our safety net is ridonkulous. It's absurd.

So as a result, you can fail as big as you want.

You can, you can, you can fail masterfully. And two things will probably happen. One, you'll probably be just fine. And number two, you'll probably learn something that makes the next success a lot faster. So.

What I want to get into now is like how this has applied to me because it hasn't been pretty.

It's cost me a lot of money, but even worse, a lot of happiness.

I have. I have a hater named Luke Holder.

Let's see if I can block you.

Oh, I can't. I try to block all Nazis.

So I want to get, I want to get at how, how I have really messed this up. And this is really.

It'S sort, it's sort of humbling to talk about this. Hey, Emilio. Kim, what's up, dude? Hey, Peter, Prue, what's going on? Hey Sean. Steve Strand. Thanks for hanging out with me, man. Hey Emilio. Appreciate the kind words. So in.

I found my life goes through about five year cycles where I'll have a climb up or even a shot up and then I plateau for a while, or actually it more looks like.

I shoot up and then I come way down and then I plateau and then I'll start to shoot up again. And what I've experienced in my life is when I get this shot up, I too go into defense mode. And an example of this would be in 2011 12. I was hanging out with, actually it might have been earlier than that.

I was.

In the industry, like the Internet marketing industry that would like create offers, sell those offers. You got all your buddies to promote it. They made a bunch of money. And I was learning about this. I actually said to somebody at a conference, I was like, so basically it's a big circle jerk. Everybody just, everybody just jerks at each other. And.

He was like, yeah, that's pretty much the business. We all just promote one another and then we, we move on to the next person. And I, I remember feeling like all these people were so, so successful. They've, they've made millions of dollars. So, you know, the, the tactic is model what everybody else does. You should model what successful people do. Right? And so I'm hanging out with all of these people and I'm like 20, you know, 22, 23 at this point. And.

Like I Tried to be like all of. All of these Internet marketers and, hey, Justin Dyson. What's up, dude? Thanks for your advice earlier.

And I tried to be like all of these mostly dudes, and I was so freaking miserable because I had this crazy imposter syndrome going on where I didn't like these people, but I felt like I had to hang out with them in order to be successful. I didn't believe in their business model, but I felt like I had to model it in order to get the result. And so I'm walking around with this imposter syndrome most of the time. Every time I'm in this Internet marketing space until I have said on the podcast, I had a day where I considered suicide because I felt like I had lost everything. I would never be who I wanted to be. And I felt like a total fake and a phony. And I was put that in a blender with.

Some other things going on, my personal life. And I had an episode, a very depressive episode where I wasn't sure I wanted to continue.

And when you hit that point.

When you hit that point, I was like, you know what? Who gives a fuck? I'll be whoever the fuck I want. You don't have to be like any of these people. I was like, I don't even like hanging out with these people. Why am I trying to be like these people? Why am I trying to emulate these people? And so I switched. And then in, like, 2012, I was like, I'm just gonna do. I'm just gonna build a business that I'm really excited about. Like, I'm just. I'm just gonna be whoever I want Now. I don't know what that looks like, but I'm no longer going to follow a model that all these people are saying is the way to do it. And the strangest thing happened. The strangest thing happened as soon as I switched into that mode of not having to play by everybody else's rules. Everybody wanted to work with me. And people would come up to me, and I had mentors, mentors of mine come up to me and say, hey, how did you do that?

I was like, how did I do what? Like, how did you make that switch from being in this industry that you hated to going in a direction that was really authentic? I was like, I don't know. I just did it.

I just went in that direction because I figured I had this idea, and I wasn't sure if I was right, but the idea was, okay, I hate doing business with these people. So what I'm gonna do instead is I'm just gonna do what I want to do, and anybody that I meet in that zone, I'm probably gonna want to do business with. Like, I'm probably gonna want to hang out with that person. I'm probably gonna want to.

Spend time with that person. And I don't know if I'll be as successful as if I'm modeling all of these other people, but I think I'll probably be a lot happier and make a lot more relationships as a result of doing that. And so what I did was a. I just started saying no to people that I didn't want to hang out with, I didn't want to work with. And number two, I started a podcast called Freedom Fast Lane. And then number three, I started a physical products company called Sheer Strength Labs that I was excited about. And it was a completely new direction. Like, I had never done any of that stuff before. And the weird thing was, those relationships were real relationships. They were authentic relationships. The podcast kind of put my audience on the map, and. And Sheer Strength was the company that I still have a stake in, but that I sold to a private equity group for the biggest check that I've ever received.

So that decision.

Was a really smart business decision. Here is the hell of it all.

A few weeks ago.

I realized that I had been going back into defense mode.

A few weeks ago, I looked at all of the things that I had going on and where my focus has been, and I went, shit, I'm doing that thing again that I like. I doing that thing where I'm playing defense mode.

And I'm building according to someone else's model.

So.

The really hard part. The really hard part about entrepreneurship.

And, like, going out on your own is that if you're gonna play to win.

No one defines what winning is.

So there's, like.

There's a thousand different goals, right?

So to some people, winning is.

Living life on your own terms with enough money in the bank, so you're always living life on your dome terms. For some people, winning means buying the Cleveland Indians. For some people, winning means buying the New York Jets. For some people, winning means being famous. For some people, winning means $10,000 a month in passive income. And based on what we see in social media, what we see.

Other people doing, our idea of what winning is, is cheap, changing all of the time, because our brains tune into what the tribe is doing. The tribe being the people that we follow, the people that we do.

So if you're playing to win, you have to be incredibly aware of what it is that winning is to you, of what it is that you want.

And what I realized I had been doing, a mistake that has cost me millions of dollars, was that I started building for a result that I didn't really want.

And I can tell it now, like, I can identify it now. And it's when I step out of the mode of where I am energized and I step into the mode where I'm depleting my energy and I built a business, I've started to build a life around depleting, depleting my energy rather than filling it up. It started depleting my lifestyle rather than supporting my lifestyle. And it was for a specific result. And I started making decisions that were.

Costing money, meaning not successful ventures, versus pursuing the things that even if they were losing ventures I would be excited about. My mentor, Travis, said to me recently.

He didn't say, follow your passion and he didn't say, follow your bliss and you'll never work again. I think those are kind of silly pieces of advice. What he said was, what would you do even if you were failing your ass off?

And that was interesting.

Because to answer that question, I had to think about.

What'S the process.

Or what's the activity where I would just genuinely enjoy the process on the path to some vision of success, some idea of playing to win.

And I realized how much energy I had been putting into.

Defending something that I didn't want. And the real practical example of this, this is tough to say.

It's like I had certain amount of success.

And I, because of my podcast and because of.

My email list and because of my YouTube following, had certain.

I guess.

Certain people associate a certain level of success with. With me. And then I, because that feels good.

I immediately felt the need to defend that. Just like I felt that in 201112 of hanging out with all of these people.

And feeling the need to conform to what their lifestyle was, to conform to what their model of success was, to conform to what their playbook was versus the one that I wanted. And I realized I was doing it again, that I had received a certain benefit, I had received a certain following, I had a certain identify identity. And now because I'm identified with it, I feel the need to defend it. I feel like I have to. Anthony asks, what does that mean, defend? In what way? Here would be a very practical example.

I notice in my podcast that when I talk about Amazon.

My podcast downloads go up.

Now what that says is like, oh, my audience Wants me to talk about Amazon, so I'm going to talk about Amazon more. And I start. Start to get a following of Amazon sellers. And so now I'm creating content for other people, like for the audience, which is great, but now I'm a little concerned. I'm a little concerned that I'm gonna lose these people if I don't stop talking about a topic or I'm afraid that if I talk about controversial topic or something that's really important to me, that'll isolate these people and now I'll lose the downloads that give me some sense of identity, some sort of pride, some sense of purpose that I get out of seeing the download spike.

So now I'm in this mode where I feel the need to defend what it is that I've built. But here's the crazy thing. I started calling some super fans. I started calling some people that follow me religiously. I started asking people who know me really well, and I asked all of them how they found me, and all of them said that it was like the thing that attracted them to my work specifically, you know, personally. It's obviously my. My good looks and my deadlifting ability. But. But professionally, in work, the thing that attracted people was they were like, you just, like, were you. And you just did your thing and you didn't care what. It didn't seem like you cared about what the audience wanted. You were just documenting your journey. And I brought this up to my team, and.

I went to my team and I started talking about. I was like, guys, look, I just don't feel like the way, like, the. The direction in which I want to, like, we're going here is, like, what I want to do.

And I understand that it, like, will create a result. I understand that it is. I understand that it will. I. I understand that, like, it might get us closer to the result that we want, but I don't think I'm gonna enjoy it. And if I'm not gonna enjoy it, what's the point?

And. And here I was. I was. I was.

Like, there's. There's controversy. Controversy, which is like, controversy. So with an extra H in there.

I said, you know, if I started, if I occasionally let my hair down and talked about how I view politics, we're probably gonna lose some people because I have some controversial views. If I were to let my hair down and really talk about what I. What my religious views are, we would probably lose some people.

And the minute you try to appease everybody, you lose everybody, I think.

Because now no one cares at all.

And so I realized that I had made the same mistake, the same mistake that cost me millions of dollars back in 2011 12, that mistake that was so expensive, of playing defense while also trying to. Trying to conform to somebody else's playbook. I had reached a new plateau. Like, I reached a new level of success.

And I was doing it again.

I had done it again. So here I am, 2011, I have a spike up. And I was like, I don't. This isn't what I want. And so I kind of burned it to the ground. Felt like I was starting over, plateaued for a couple years, then out of that zone.

Out of. Out of that mode in which I was now feeling connected with my mission, my purpose, what I want. That is when I built an audience. It's when the next brand to me came to be and made me millions of dollars. And I had a spike up until I went into playing not to lose mode.

And. And I realized I've been doing that for the last 12 months, playing not to lose, not playing to win.

And I realized, like, I. I get it now. And now that I get it, I'm so jazzed to go hard in the direction that just feels right and authentic because I would do it even if I was failing my ass off.

So all of this to say to you. So many of you are building businesses because you want a result, and that's great, like, it's awesome. Go do it.

But you're following someone else's model. You're following somebody else's playbook for the result, rather than thinking about what value it brings to the world. And value is unique. Value is very rarely systemized.

Very rarely can you exactly duplicate the playbook of somebody else and then create value out of it, because value's unique in the first place. That's what makes it valuable. And so if you're building a personal brand, for example.

And you're doing it in the way that somebody else has done, you are immediately less valuable. If you're selling a physical products brand and you are looking for the product that sells well, the very nature of you entering that market makes it less valuable from day one.

That's playing not to lose. It's not playing to win. And I've made this mistake. And every time I do that.

That'S when I have had my market pullback in my life, if you will. Great question from Andrew of when you were having a crash, what would you do? So the way that I have done this is, is when things aren't Going the way that I want them to professionally, I get really dialed into the other areas of my life, which is health, fitness, my relationships, and my mind. What I'm putting in here, am I thinking big enough? Because the thing about failure or realizing that you've been playing defense or burning everything to the ground and starting over is that's when you are most fertile, if you will, to be able to have the next big thing hit. It's when you are the most ready for fresh ideas. And the thing that got us to the point where we had to burn it into the ground in the first place was old ideas.

Value is always in what is unique. Sometimes unique is systems. Sometimes unique is a new product. Sometimes unique is a new way of marketing something. Sometimes unique is. Is being first to market. But the minute we start copying somebody else, it's immediately less valuable. And that's the mistake that has cost me millions of dollars, because at some point when I'm up by three at halftime, like the Cleveland Browns, I have found a way to blow it, because I turned around and said, now I'm playing defense, it's of offense. And I think the only thing different between me and a lot of people who will hear this is that I recognized it. And as soon as I recognized it, I decided to torch it and burn it to the ground. And when I torched it and burned it to the ground, that gave me the personal freedom, the energy, the focus to build something that. That I actually gave a fuck about. And it was those things that made me successful, not the things that I was duplicating based on somebody else's success. So.

Just for fun, I'll share this with you. We decided to do a hard reboot of the podcast. You'll see me do this, but we're doing, like, a hard reboot. Freedom Fast Lane. And like, going back to the idea of day one where I set out on a journey and I said.

I'm just gonna talk about the journey I'm on. The journey's different now, I guess, different than it was five years ago. And Aiden is gonna be super disappointed. He's posting the comments. We're not gonna do the RDM show. We're gonna bring it over into Freedom Fast Lane. And we decided that we're going to go in the direction that felt authentic and right, and whoever shows up, shows up. And we'll probably lose a lot of people at the same time.

So I just wanted. I wanted to share this realization with you of how I realized that I had been. I have had cycles in my life of going up, getting defensive about that.

And then as soon as you get defensive, you lose the thing that made it valuable in the first place. And for me, when I go into defense mode, that's also when imposter syndrome kicks up. That imposter syndrome, that is you're defending something.

That is really built on somebody else's expectations.

So.

There'S an author named Rob Bell who says, we rarely defend the things we love.

We instead embrace the things we love, we feel the things we love, we defend the things that we're insecure about.

And so in business, when you go through, like, a trajectory where there's growth, if you feel insecure about the growth, you flip over into defense mode. But the minute you go into defense mode, rather than staying on offense, that's when you lose. And what happens when you start to lose? You get more into defense mode. And so it becomes a cycle in which.

It has to be burnt to the ground in order to have any semblance or any chance of being successful at all. So that is.

Kind of, forgive me, I'm plugging myself in.

So that. That is where I have found myself in this period of my career, realizing that I went into defense mode. I was up by 3.

And now I have to go back into offense. But offense means. Here's the thing. This is. This is. Now we're gonna. Justin Dyson says this is not a religious video. So instead of going religious, I'll go kind of woo woo on you.

I think all of us.

Have some sort of.

Fear that we're not enough or that we're not going to be loved.

I think it's all of our deepest, deepest fears. And.

About a week or a week and a half ago.

I was in a really, really deep meditation in a hammock.

And in this really deep meditation, I had this.

When I'm in really deep meditations, I'll often do conversations with myself.

And I had this conversation of, like, playing through all of my fears.

Playing through all the. All the things that I'm afraid of.

And.

The first one that came up was.

Like, one side of my head said.

I'm afraid I won't be loved. And the other part of my brain said, well, I love you.

And then I said.

I'm afraid I'll be alone. Then the other part of my brain was like, but I'm here.

And this conversation as woo as it is, and I don't know if it's any value, it's just what goes on in my head.

Is the takeaway that I had from that experience was that.

If you are really, really cool with yourself, like if you are just good with you.

That'S when you are totally free of other people's opinions. And that's when you can actually do something that is uniquely valuable in the world and. Or in the market place.

And yet here we are. We spend so much time and energy trying to duplicate other people's results, duplicate other people's habits of trying to be similar to them.

Rather than playing to win. And that's the stupid mistake that has cost me millions.

I'm gonna officially end the hangout here, mostly for my editing team in the event that they decide to turn this into a podcast or a video clip. But I'll hang out with you guys if you want to hang out or if you want to throw any business or life questions at me. I know there were a bunch that came in and forgive me, I'm streaming on two things, so.

I'm not gonna go back and look at them. So if you have something you want to hang out about, I'd be happy to.

To. To hang out with you. Aiden says, hey, let's hang out. All right, let's hang out.

Hey, Susie Collins. Good to see you. I was actually just thinking about you this week.

Does Aiden. Aiden says, does Brand Builder Summit come with s' mores and a campfire on the kickoff night? I think we're doing s' mores this first official night of Brand Builder Summit. Hey, Nancy Blaker, thank you for the kind words. Appreciate it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. And Billie Jean is joining right when the fun is over. Right when I got off my rant and my high horse. He's the Billy. Billie Jean. If I can convert Billie Jean to my side of the political aisle, that's when. That's when I'll know we have won.

What's the difference between my course and asm? I don't have a course right now. You should probably just buy ASM there. That's honest.

Hey, Roxelle. Good to see you. Hey, Roxelle. You know, I just want you to know. Oh, sorry, real fast. Brevin Paul says any good books you can recommend for meditation? I'd recommend Waking up by Sam Harris and maybe 10% happier by Dan Harris. Roxelle, I want you to know, you know, I brag on you publicly. Hey, Judson Morgan. What's up, duderpants?

I hope that starts an Internet rumor. Judson Morgan. Doo Doo's his pants.

I keep okay, Roxelle, I know I tell you this all the time, but.

Oh, the suspense. Roxelle, you really are like my ideal person to work with. I just love working with you, Roxelle. And that's why I reached out to you this week to get your feedback on the podcast. Because if I could work with a hundred people like Roxelle, I would never want to do anything else. I'm done. I've made it in the world. And that's legitimately why.

I'm putting together this investment fund. It's going to be called the Capitalism fund. And it's to invest in businesses like you. Because, like, I genuinely just want to be a part of your growth. Now we're going to bring in a board of advisors of people who run $100 million companies.

And we're gonna do fun things together. And I want, like, I'm sorry, I know it's embarrassing to be called out public eyes, but I really want you to be one of the first people I work with. I'm working, I'm working on the details because I genuinely want to work with you. Like, I have. I have like three company. I have three companies and some of them are run by people who have run, you know, multi hundred million dollar companies. Then there's Roxelle. And so I just wanted to let you know, think the world of you. Even though we've only met once. Okay. Aiden, you identify yourself as an investor, like rich dad's cash flow quadrant. Yeah, I'm more pivoting over into the investor quadrant at this point. I'd say that's fair. What else we got? Is Billie Jean Republican? Definitely not. Definitely not. Not. He's a libertarian. He just doesn't know it yet. Have you goon to school? I did goo to school, yes. What do I do for a living? I take my clothes off in front of the Internet and I flex and post pictures of myself. That's what I do.

How would you compare American women to Ukrainian and Polish women? That's interesting.

I'm a little bit disappointed in American women right now.

I like.

I like other cultures. I feel like they're more grounded. I feel like the American culture right now is getting very not grounded, very obsessed with social media. Very.

I don't know that I'll ever get married. I don't know what I think about marriage.

I'm certainly not opposed to it whatsoever. But I do think the model might need updating and.

I don't know. The American, like, culture right now is very boring and vanilla to Me right now. That's about as close as I can get to answering your question right now. Aiden. Dan says that was a meaningful session. Thanks, man. Appreciate it. I love you back.

Brand builder boot camp. You don't have that available anymore? It's available. We're just not advertising it heavily right now. We actually just rebooted all the content. Never told anybody because I wasn't all that excited about it. It's a great freaking course and we'll start advertising it again. But if you were to go buy it right now, I wouldn't even know where to send you. Meaning, like there's all kinds of new bells and whistles we added. I'll put that course up against anybody's, but I wouldn't even know where to send you if you wanted to buy it.

But we'll bring it back at some point and do a big push for it. Let's see. Joel Clark. Hey, buddy. Good to see you, man. Did having a daughter make you more or less naturally inclined to play to win?

So.

Having a baby didn't. Did not finding out I was gonna have a baby did so. I found that with men there's a flip that happens. For some people it's when they find out. But for most, it's when they have the child, when they see the child. For me, I had to reorganize everything about how I saw myself and my life when I found out I was gonna be my dad. Going to be a dad. Now, I was a virgin.

Shortly before I found out I was gonna be a dad.

I was like super Christian boy up until like a year before I found out I was gonna be a dad. My whole life had to like be ripped apart and rebuilt. And so as part of that process, I went into thinking about me and what I was going to do for the next six months to having an 18 year window. I was forced into thinking long term and that made me play offense because playing in six month sprints was me playing small. But me playing for 18 years, 25 years now I can play offense. And that was the switch that I had when I found out I was going to be a dad.

Thanks Brev and Pol.

Roxelle. I'm a little bit behind on the, on the comments. He says. I'm trying to get comfortable with that. Is it comfortable with me bragging on you publicly? Judson Morgan Doodoos in his pants, everybody.

Oh, hey, Molly Pitton. Good to see you. Twice in one day.

Wow. I'm actually really behind.

Mm.

The one Debbie Downer said Something negative. Why did that they bother you so much? So why did someone who says an negative thing about me.

Bother me so much?

I think we all, no matter how self aware or self confident we are.

Still.

Still sometimes have things that other people say to us bother us.

I don't think it ever goes away. It just becomes a muscle that gets a little bit stronger.

Wow. Sorry, I'm way behind on comments.

Joel. You're gonna friggin kill it, man. If you're just now going into the long game. You scare me. How. How big you're gonna go. Elisha wants to know what I'm drinking, so I made my fat loss milkshake, which is Quest protein powder.

Leanne Woodmass is watching from one floor down. What's up, Leanne?

What I got is Scuba Quest protein powder.

A tablespoon of.

Of cream cheese because the fat makes it fresh. Froth up and then non dairy milk, almond milk ice, blend it together. Makes my favorite milkshake.

Have I ever been in a fight? I punched a kid on the bus when I was in eighth grade. I've never felt more guilty in my life. He like bent my finger or something. I just like reacted and I punched him in the face. He came in the next day with his big well. Oh my God. I've never felt so bad in my life.

Oh, I need to find him and buy him dinner or send him a gift or a thousand dollars or something. I didn't remember his name. It was Jimmy.

I think I remember his name. I'm gonna look him up. Thank you for the reminder, Andrew Lorenzo. It's one of those old hurts that I need to mend.

Keith Walker says. Whoa, Deuce. I got you. Email me, please. I H Q V E a link for you.

Leisha. I will not take this video down. You got it.

Nancy. Thanks for the kind words. No, I. The brand Builder bootcamp is a phenomenal course, phenomenal community.

It just.

I. We're not. We're just not promoting any products right now. We're just all in on our events. Like, we're not running Facebook ads to things. I needed a break from like promoting things.

So that's my really honest answer to my problem books.

Hey, Sonny. What's up, dude? How do you know when to branch away from modeling others? Or do you think you should do your own thing right from the start? Hmm, That's a great question.

So.

Aiden says non sale sales. That's her new reel. Our new rule. Okay. How do you know when to branch away from modeling others.

Processes can always be modeled. For example, Gary Vaynerchuk tweeted out today a slideshare of how they promote content.

That's a system. That's a process that could be theoretically duplicated.

The content itself.

The posts themselves. If you were to model the exact style of Gary Vaynerchuk, no one will give a fuck.

Sunny, you said something to me once.

I don't. I think we were in Toronto at the townhouse, I think, and I quoted this. I brought it up this week to my team with C Money.

Said, hey, C Money s unnie said to me once, you know what I like about your podcast?

That it's you. It's not you doing a bunch of interviews. It's you. Like, I want to get your mindsets. Justin Dyson said to me, dude, like, I joined the back room because I wanted to get your mindset. Like, I wanted to download your mindset.

And I think I resisted that. I resisted that for a long time. Because there's a. As soon as you go into defense mode, there's a sense of, like, well, who am I? Because you're playing defense, you're not. You're not providing the unique value anymore.

You're not. You're now in defense mode, which breeds imposter syndrome.

So when, like, that quote that you said to me.

Like, I've played that over in my brain many times over the years, and it's taken me this long to realize what that means for me right now. And so things like, things that are processes can be somewhat duplicated.

Doing your own thing is, where is the customer transaction happening?

Where is the value actually created? Value is hard to duplicate. Knockoff. Here, here. Quote, put this on a quote card. Knockoffs are always cheaper.

Why? Because the value is copied from somebody else.

So when there's literal value.

That is, when you do your own thing.

Processes can be duplicated. All right.

Hey, Richard Linder. What's up, dude? You know, I live here. Richard Linder's one of my favorite people in Austin. He's my favorite person that I never see.

Hey, Lance Groom.

Let's see who else. Thanks for the kind words. Is it Osme? Tell me if I'm saying that right.

Can I do the Kiki do you love me challenge? I don't know what that is.

Hey, 11th floor.

Hey, Olivier. Good to see you, man.

Susie, unique value. I need this. I feel like what I want to do in fitness has been done. What question should I ask myself every day to get uniqueness? Number one, Ask your. So I have to do A lot of soul searching every time I'm at a reset, so. Aw, thanks, Kelly Day. I think you're awesome, too. You're one of my favorite people. So.

When you are like, what I'm doing right now.

And like, you have the surge up and then you plateau, the first thing I'm doing is I get as much feedback from other people.

So you might have seen on social media this week I asked the question, when did you start following me? What was the thing. What was the shift that I gave you that made you say, I want to follow that guy? Because I want to do more of those things, right? And.

But I want to do them in a way that's authentic. And so asking other people is an okay start. It's kind of like asking people what your unique ability is. It's really hard to see yourself in the frame. So getting that feedback from other people can often tell you things about yourself. The other thing, and this is Susie, this is the one I'm running with now that I feel clear enough to move forward with that is I pay attention to what energizes me.

Not.

Not what I'm passionate about.

Not.

Not what sounds like it's going to produce a result, but what actually energizes me. What. What do I look forward to doing? And that's usually a sign of where my unique value is. For example.

My unique ability, based on what other people have told me and what I have verified for myself is.

My unique ability is.

How do I. How do I phrase. I'm still using. I'm still looking for a way to phrase it succinctly, but it's something like.

It'S pursuing new things.

Synthesizing what I learned and communicating it clearly in a way that gives people freedom to take the first step.

I just made that up. But my real unique ability is my willingness to go chart out new territory.

To.

Synthesize where I stand on it and to go share it. For example, you could say I did this as much in business as I did in my religious journey. I can't tell you how many people experienced freedom as a result of me sharing why I. What I say, graduated from Christianity. Oh, Travis Sego is just joining after I've quoted him 749 times this Facebook Live. I think I give more public. I'm glad if I. If I'm remembered as the man who gave the most love to Travis Sago publicly, I will die a happy person.

Travis might have even inspired kind of a lot of the thought processes behind me talking about What I've talked about tonight. And by the way, if you follow Travis Sago, just pay the man. Pay him whatever he wants, pay him whatever he charges. Don't even ask him what the value prop is. Just sign up for whatever he's doing, buy all his stuff. It'll be the best ROI you ever spent. And hey, Travis, I think I, I believe I quoted you today when I said, dude, you got. Dude, your hair ain't purple. Wisest thing anyone ever told me. Dude, your hair ain't purple.

So anyway, what I've realized. Susie, this is back to your point and your question. Hi, Jessica. Good to see you.

The unique ability for me is my ability to grow and pursue new things and then come back and share it in a way that allows people to have. Have freedom to move forward. And that gives me energy. And the minute I step out of that.

I fuck shit up.

Like, things just break the minute I step out of that, or the minute I try to defend why I stand in a certain way, or the minute, like, I've always pushed back against labels. Like, I've always hated being seen as the Amazon guy, and I know that I would have a great pot positioning in the marketplace if I just embraced that. But what I've realized about myself, and I don't know if it's right or wrong or valuable or not valuable, what I've realized about myself is the minute that I box myself into a certain label, I feel the need to defend it. And if I feel the need to defend anything, I lose energy. Because my job, in this life, on this planet, is just to continue growing and come back and share so that I bring other people along. And that's me. Like, that energizes me. It doesn't energize me to be the Amazon guy or to put any box on myself, or to be the podcast guy, or to be the capitalism guy, for goodness sake. What energizes me is being on a path and moving in a direction and then people follow. And the minute that I'm like, if I'm self aware enough to recognize that and be honest with myself about that and realize that's where I enjoy myself, that's where I enjoy my life.

That's where I'm valuable and unique. Now that's me. Susie, it's going to be different for you, but for you.

When there's energy, there's usually value.

Thank you, Travis. The muscle guy. Oh, if one person ever called me the muscle guy, you know.

I grew up a skinny, scrawny kid. I would love to be the muscle guy. I'm actually on a cut right now. I'm cutting right now. Which is hence the fat loss milkshake. Everybody going in the Anti Dad Bod cookbook.

I need a partner for this, for the Anti Dad Bod book.

So, Susie, where there is energy that is a sign of your unique value. Follow that.

Kira wants to know how do you spell Travis's last name? S, A G, O. Find the Facebook group. Million dollar offer. Mojo.

Long name, lots of value. Hey Julian. Good to see you, dude. Long time no see. Tiber asks, hey Ryan, I have an Amazon business. And hey Max. Hey Max. Max, if you had watched, I don't know how long you've been watching, but I covet your feedback on what I've been talking about because I'm synthesizing a lot of what you have been helping me with.

Tibur, I have an Amazon business and I want to ask you this.

So I'm sorry, Tibber, your question gets cut off on my Facebook Live. So you're gonna have to try to summarize it in less than four lines.

Alright, what else we got? Thank you for the kind words, Keith Walker. My neck is actually sore from my lifting session. My back day. Andrew, if you tell me why did you follow me? Oh, you saw an ad.

Andrew, thank you for your feedback. What brings me. What brings value to me on a daily basis? Presence.

Enjoyment.

Like.

Relationships. The older I get, the more I realize that everything has relationships. I got goosebumps. That means it's true.

Do I see a chiropractor? Yes. A very woo woo out there. Hippie chiropractor that I'd love to tell you about. Changed my life in so many ways. Called network chiropractic. So Chris. Chris, that's a really interesting question and we'll come back to that in a second. Hey, Billy Evans. Good to see you, dude. So, Chris, don't let me forget this. I want to come back back to this question, but I want to get out. I want to Milan. I will keep the desserts coming on Instagram. You got it. So the question what brings me value on a daily basis?

We are the product of who we hang out with and what we put into our brain. We're wired that way. Biologically. Biologically, we are wired to become like that which surrounds us.

So we have to be vigilant about who we surround ourselves with.

And sometimes that means just popping in the earbuds and flooding our brains with stuff. Like you do become. Your brain is made to Become like that which it surrounds itself with. Which is why I had to be really, really honest back in 201112 and say, I don't even like these people. Why am I trying to impress them? And I'm doing that again now. Just, I genuinely do like the people that I'm surrounding myself with. But I'm realizing that I'm. That I was playing the game the way that they were playing, and I need to knock that shit out. So what brings me value on a daily basis, Omer, is being in deep connection with people that I genuinely care about.

I'll tell you. There's this quote from Neil Strauss where he says to win the game is, was to leave it. And he was writing a book called the Game and it was a, it was a book about picking up chicks. And he concludes at the end that to win the game was to leave the game.

And meaning he found the woman he wanted to be with and he decided, I don't need to play this game. And that's how I win. What I've realized for myself is that applies to more than just relationships. We're all playing a status game. We're all playing this, trying to one up one another. We're all playing like the money game of like, I'm doing this Butcher month. You're doing this much and we're playing it. And the way that you win any game, the way you play to win.

Is by being good.

By having no need to compare yourself to anybody in the first place, by being so cool with you.

And realizing you're pretty much the same person if you live in the streets or in a mansion. And when you're good with that, when you're so good with you, when you've got the two sides of the brain, I'm afraid to be alone. I'm always here. When you're connected with that presence.

That'S when you're invincible.

When you let go of the need for approval in the first place.

That'S when you can genuinely love other people and when you can genuinely provide value from people too.

I know I'm only 30. I wish I had gotten this concept when I'm 21. I don't know if that's possible for somebody to learn when they're 21. I'm really glad to have it when I'm 30.

So if I can help you get it faster. It's one of the realizations Travis Sako has helped me have over the years. Do I advise on how to network with higher level people, how to reach Them. Yeah, Omer, I have a great podcast episode about this called building your success network. Your opening move is to write a handwritten letter telling somebody how much you appreciate them and how something that they did for you shifted your life. That's your opening move. I give you a template in that podcast episode and I'll probably do a redo of that one when we reboot the podcast. What knowledge or advice would you give your 20 year old self? So I would give them the advice. I would give him the advice. Oh, you know what, shoot. It's on my phone. I can't pull it up.

I wrote a letter to my 20 year old self last year at Burning man, which is about the most hipster thing to say.

But.

The thing that I wish I could have my 20 year old self realize is that.

If I could phrase it in the way that I said it earlier, it would be that.

If you can be totally cool with yourself and not need the approval of other people, that's when you get the approval of other people. And the only difference is that you won't need it. So it will be a bonus rather than it be the thing that you depend on in order to get or feel value.

The minute you don't need something, the minute having it becomes a bonus. And that's even more true when it comes to approval or love from other people.

To win that game is to leave that game and then everything's bonus. On top of that you get to appreciate everything that comes in from there. When you can be good with nothing.

That'S what I would tell my 20 year old self. Because that's when you can do good for other people. That's when you can make a lot of money and it be genuine.

Do you think a student can be successful in life while he's still in school? Yes. Yes.

Enjoy your time in school, work out, have a lot of fun and learn as much as you can about the direction of your life that you want to go.

Man still needs a mate. Maybe.

Maybe. I don't know.

Sorry, Facebook Live, I'm neglecting you over here.

If you real. Oh, Chris. I want to get to Chris's question. If you're in defense mode.

What what is your next move?

Okay, so let's go there. Chris, you're in defense mode, right? You had a big win.

Actually, Chris, requesting permission to speak freely about you personally. I don't know you all that well. I know we text a lot.

But.

Chris, you're living my life like maybe a year later than me. So I Feel very qualified to comment on this one.

You had a big win.

A little bit ago. A big win. And you, like me, are a workaholic because you get your value out of growth. And you have a little bit of a mindset of fear of it going away because of how you grew up. And I don't know anything about your background. I'm only guessing based on. I see myself in you.

I tell the story about my mom crying in the other room because I broke the washing machine. $50 repair, right? So part of our brains are afraid we're gonna be alone and we're gonna be penniless. It's part of our makeup. If you're as much like me as I think you are. Chris. Hey, Vic. What's up, dude? Love you, buddy. Like a brother. I miss you. It's just bad to think think about you all week. It's so weird I manifested you here. Vic, I'm so glad you're here. Hey, buddy. I love you.

So, Chris, for you.

You immediately had your win. And then you went back into the new project. Immediately you went into the new project. So did I. And you know what that did?

It made me feel like I had to go defensive, my big win.

And play a new game that wasn't authentic to who I was or what I wanted. And I had to go make some mistakes and lick some wounds in order for life to give me that reminder. So what you do when you realize that you're in defense mode is you clear out as much as possible. You say no for a while. You get really quiet and you get really fit and you get really healthy and you fall in love with the people around you and you build relationships with the people that you want around you. And you start filling your mind with creativity. Because guess what? You just had a big win. And if you don't give yourself the space to be creative again, you're gonna play the next game just like you played the last one. And it's too late to play that game. It's time to play a new game. And you won't be creating creative about it unless you give yourself the mental flexibility and bandwidth to be able to think about that. Ask me how I know.

So it's to say no and clear some room and let some good stuff happen in your personal life so you can ride that momentum. And now you've got the financial means to be able to go all in when the next opportunity prepares prepares itself for you. But now you have got to get in into that mode where you are Physically, mentally, spiritually, and relationally ready to go all fucking in on that opportunity when it shows up. And that's not you right now because you just spent the last two years grinding building something that was your first big win, and you're spent because I was, too.

I made the decision this week that I'm going to move into my lake house, which was supposed to be my second home, and. And leave this gorgeous, beautiful downtown apartment, which I love and has the best view in the city. And I'm giving it up because I know that I need to go chill by the lake for about a year and sit in a hammock and read books and make podcasts because that will energize me for the next thing that I can't see right now. And it drives me absolutely batshit crazy that I cannot see the next thing thing. I have a loose idea of what it's going to be, but every time I try to figure it out and force it and make it happen faster, I fuck the thing up. And I don't want you to do the same thing, Chris.

So if I can give you some advice, if you find yourself in defense mode, get quiet.

Say no to things.

Read.

Experiment, play. And then when you're ready to go all into the next thing, go all in on the next thing.

Oh, I ranted at you, Chris. I'm sorry. I'm not. I'm not really sorry.

I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Uncomfortable? I'm behind on comments. Hey, Billy Evans. I think I said that already.

I talked about network chiropractic. Thanks for the link, Aiden. Yeah, I actually go see it. I fly to New York every couple months and I have this really, really crazy, weird doctor work on me and I feel incredible. And I literally feel like after he's done working with me, I can see into the souls of other people. And I'm not even exaggerating. It's really, really bizarre. And I don't consider myself a woo woo person.

But I experienced some weird things. I'm under regular network care. I really need to go see my network chiropractor here in town, Roseanne Mulligan. If you're watching this, I'm sorry, haven't seen you. I think about you every time I'm on mopac. Okay. Tibber is feeling discouraged because you put a lot of effort into starting an Amazon business and I'm struggling. Well, you're probably struggling because you refer to it as an Amazon business. You're probably struggling because an Amazon business means that you're looking for opportunities on Amazon and just deciding, hey, that looks hot. I'm going to sell that too. Which isn't a unique value proposition. Rather than saying, where is their value? And I'm going to bring it to this beautiful marketplace that is Amazon.com and I'm going to promote this thing there where all of the customers are. The beauty of Amazon Amazon is that the customers are there and the credit cards are there and too many people are going out and saying, where is somebody else doing Well, I want a piece of that pie. That's why a lot of people struggle.

So my answer, like, my answer to you is like, Matt Adkins, is this a wine with lion? No, it needs to be on water with wine. I'm thirsty as hell. Can someone bring me. Damn it. I have none of my. I have no one here.

So the, the, the solution. The anti. The anti. The antidote, which is like an antidote.

Why do they call it an antidote? Anti. What's a dote? What are you antiing if it's a dote?

So do you.

Tibbert, do you feel like the products and the way you're marketing your products are bringing unique value to the world? Are you just trying to rank for keywords and get reviews? Because only a few people can win that game.

What was my first encounter with C Money? Why did I meet Sea Money? Well, I mean, I, I met him. I think our first interaction was at the first Freedom Fast Lane Live, but I was working at a video studio. Like I was recording a lot of videos at a video studio where he was employed and that's how we met. What I think about Shopify and drop shipping? I don't think about it much.

But it's fine.

Sorry to elude your question.

I've never dropped stripped a thing in my life.

But a lot of people do just fine.

Thank you. Kelly Day.

Wow, I'm so behind. I'm sorry. Wow, I'm so behind on comments. Do more podcasts on stocks and dividends. You've got it. John. John Finn. Hey, Jessica. Good to see you. Hey, Lisa Norsek. Thank you for all of the links, Aiden. I appreciate you. Who's my mentor? My mentor is commenting alongside you. His name is Travis. I'd also consider Kevin nations to be a mentor. I'd consider my best friend Mark Jenny to be a mentor. I'm courting a new mentor. I'm courting one.

And I've been court him for.

About six months. He's like, he's the guy actually there's two people in my life right now that I'm slowly courting, and mentors need to be courted. They're relationships. So there's two people in my life that I believe represent the next stage of my career that I want to learn from. And so I'm slowly courting those.

Travis says, if you're gonna play a game, it better be yours. Amen, brother. We're all defining the rules of this game we play where we define it, so be intentional about it.

Okay? Wow.

Forgive me. Hey, Jessica Bush. Good to you. See. See you. I love. I love seeing old friends. Chris Shaptar. Ah, my brother. I miss you terribly. I just love you. I'm building. I'm renovating a lake house in Austin, Texas. Please fly here and hang out with me.

Do I rent my apartment or do I own it? I rent this apartment. I own my house. I've actually come full circle on the idea of owning. Owning the home that you live in. I actually do think it's financially beneficial to own where you live. I think Grant Cardone is wrong on a lot of things, but that would be one of them.

Travis says no is my favorite word next to love for Haas. All buddy. I just think the world of you, bud. I've been thinking about you all this week. I miss you. You know where I live. At least for now. Two more months. I'm gonna live here two months. I'm not gonna live here anymore.

Kind of sad.

Okay, everybody. Hey, Ross. Slaughter. What's up, man? Hey. Alvaro says stop watching the news. The post that made me. You follow me. I appreciate that. Thanks, man.

Okay, I think we're. We're gonna wrap up here.

Thank you all for hanging out with me.

I clearly had nowhere else to be.

Don't even really know what prompted it. I just wanted to share my heart and what was going on and hope it was beneficial for you. If so, let me know in the comments. Appreciate y'. All. See you soon.