How to Heal Your Relationship with Money and Achieve Abundance [Ep 21]

Welcome to the Thriving therapyneur podcast. The show for ambitious therapists who are ready to unapologetically make more money, scale their impact and build their dream coaching business. I'm Carly Hill, therapist turned coach turned CEO of a seven figure online business. I created the Thriving Therapeneur podcast because I'm obsessed with helping big hearted therapists outgrow the office and build successful and sustainable online businesses. So if you are wondering how you can continue make an impact without sacrificing the life you love, welcome therapanur. This is exactly the place for you. Think of it like the business school we never had. I am so excited to dive in with you. Let's get started. Money, money, money, money, money, Money. Honey, that is what we're going to talk about today. For too long, the subject of money has been something people don't want to talk about. It's been surrounded by. By secrecy, by fear, by anxiety. And I have felt all of those things too. But it wasn't until I really pulled back the curtains and started healing my relationship with money, and even looking at my relationship with money to begin with, that I really started feeling empowered financially. My reality shifted and I recognized how much money was available to me. It just ignited this avalanche of change where my revenue really started to double and triple in ways that I only thought was possible in my wildest dreams. So much can happen when we change our relationship with money, when we realize the power we have over our mindset. Our finances, like our life, will never be the same. And so my hopes for today's episode is for you to get your wheels spinning on your relationship with money and recognize what this looks like for you, what are areas that you could do more healing when it comes to your relationship with money. And I'm going to be your example here because I'm going to share a letter that I wrote to Money many years ago and it's just been sitting in my notes section. I never thought that I was going to share it with you, but it was so incredibly healing for me to do so. I was bawling my eyes out when I was writing this letter. And I feel like writing this letter to money was something that ignited my money healing journey where I was able to welcome in millions into my business. I didn't have to have this anxiety around money anymore, or I had a different relationship with debt, or I didn't have to feel guilty around money. And I was able to welcome in more money than I knew what to do with. I had a reason behind money I had a good relationship with money. So if money has been a problem in your life, you feel like you haven't had a solution to how to make more money. You think about money all the time. I think financial freedom is whether you have money or whether you don't have money. You feel free around money. Like, I know a lot of people who have a shit ton of money, but I wouldn't say that they're financially free because they still have a lot of debilitating anxiety around money. So I'm hoping that this episode kind of can demystify this topic of money and it can help crack open something healing inside of you to help liberate abundance, because abundance is everywhere and this is so possible for you. And I just want you to experience what I have experienced in the past few years. Ever since I started doing deep money work, our money journey never ends. But holy cow, did I recognize how much money work I really had to do when I started doing it. So it's never too late to start healing your relationship with money and looking more into it. I was reading books and podcasts. I was listening to subliminal money mindset manifestations. I was doing reiki energy sessions and subconscious healing sessions, and there's so much that goes into it. The book that inspired me to write this letter to Money that I'm about to share with you, that was the book by Jen Sicario. It's called you are a badass at making money. And I've actually read the book multiple times. One time I was on a flight and it was the only book that was downloaded. And so I listened to it twice on the flight and I just got new gold nuggets out of it each time. So if you are on this healing money journey, go to YouTube, pull up some subliminal money mindset manifestations. I would listen to them, like, while I was working or before I was going to sleep. I was doing some, you know, talk sessions and trying to figure out consciously what some of my limiting beliefs and blocks were. But then I was also taking it on a deeper, subconscious, energetic level to heal, heal these blocks around money so that I could hold this capacity for more and more and more over and over and over again. So here's my letter. Dear Money, I'm learning to love you. I'm also learning how much there is to learn about you. You sure are complicated. You've always been around, but I've never paid much attention to you. I feel like we are long lost acquaintances that are now dating and falling in Love super fast. I respect you now more than ever. Where before, I used to feel wrong spending you, especially on things that I didn't absolutely need. I would even return the things sometimes just to get you back. Doing so would somehow make me feel less guilty. I also used to ignore you, and I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing by saying I didn't care about you. I thought this was the only way that you were going to show up. I see now that it's actually the polar opposite. And pause. I'm going to say side note here. I would feel guilty spending money on things that I didn't absolutely need. I think because growing up and hi, Mom, I know you listen to all my episodes when we would go shopping, we would hide all of our bags from dad when we would get home. So I think I would feel guilty, like, spending things that I didn't absolutely need. Like, I learned at a young age subconsciously that spending money on things that we didn't absolutely need would make me feel guilty. Right? And this is no one's fault. But a lot of our money beliefs come from our childhood. So when you are going down your healing journey with money, think back to the stories in your childhood and how you grew up. The other thing I just said here in my letter was, I used to ignore you and I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing by saying I didn't care about you. I would always ask my dad, like, well, how come you have money? And he was like, well, it's because I don't care about money. And still to this day, he always says, like, I'm not a money man. I don't care about money. And now I just look at it through a different lens, right? But when I was younger and he would say, well, I have money because I don't care about money, I learned and conceptualized that, okay, well, to have money, if I want money, I need to just not care about it. And then that's how it was going to show up in my life. All right, let me continue the letter. Thank you for supporting me in so many ways and being there for me even when I wasn't there for you. The truth is, I care about you a lot and I need you and want you more than ever. I get emotional saying that. It makes me feel like a bad person somehow. It feels really vulnerable admitting it, too. But I am. I want you and I need you so that you can help me help others. I've come to learn that when you're in the hands of good people. They can do really good things. And I know I'm one of those people. Having a lot of you is something I always wanted but didn't know how to make it happen. I used to think you were way out of my league. I know that's not the truth anymore. I know it never was the truth. But now that I see so much of you and we hang out a lot, I'm starting to believe and know deep in my heart that I'm worthy of you. I'm starting to think about having you in doubles and triples and that still blows my mind, but I know it's possible. I'd love to get to the point of having so much of you that I don't even know what to do with you. The main reason I want a shit ton of you is so I can help a shit ton of people. Because I know the people I help are going to help more people and we need that together. I know we can do so much. I love to travel, take more vacations, give back, support my family and most importantly, support my unborn babies and be able to spend all the time I want with them. I promise to teach them about you. Maybe one day I'll write a book about you. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. We still have a lot of work to do, but I'm here for it. I'm going to start learning about investing you more. I want to be smart with you because I really do appreciate you. I appreciate you shocking the crap out of me lately and showing me that I can exceed my own expectations. I'm so glad we're finally on the same page and I can't wait to do more big things together. I love you. And that was it. That was my letter to Money that I wrote a few years ago when I was driving in my car listening to this audiobook and I just pulled out my phone and I did talk to text and I was just talk, talk, talking away to money and I was sobbing like bawling, crying. I had to take multiple breaks writing this letter and it was so healing. So please try to write this letter to Money. You'll look back on it years to come and it can definitely skyrocket and jumpstart your relationship with money that can welcome in a ton of abundance into your life. Money is a hard thing to master. To master the relationship with money, we have to master the relationship with ourself. One of my favorite quotes from Tony Robbins, he talks about the biggest thing keeping people from being wealthy. And he says it's their brain. And I think that this is so true. Like, I couldn't agree more. Because money occurs in numbers. Numbers are infinite. To master something that's infinite is really hard because it always leaves you with this feeling that you don't have enough. There's like this ever elusive quote, unquote, enough feeling that keeps us grasping for. For more and more and more, right? Doesn't it feel like that? And so in order to feel satisfied with money, we have to have a good relationship with money. We have to master ourself. We have to master our thoughts around money. And that starts with healing. Because I'm curious, like, do you even know what your relationship with money is like right now? How would you describe it if you were to write this letter? Like, are you close with money? Do you get along? Do you fight? Do you avoid each other? Do you smile when you think about money? Are you thankful for it? What about when you pay your bills? How do you feel? What about when you spend money? How do you feel? What attitudes or beliefs do you have around people who have money? What about the role money has in your life? How does it help you? What do you use it for? How does it support you? What has it allowed you to do? Because if you're not happy with your relationship with money, or how money shows up in your life or how you think about it or talk about it, then it's your internal operating system. It just needs updating. It's like your brain is running on old software and you can't create this new experience from a past paradigm. Our brain is running on old software. And so when Tony Robbins says, like, the biggest thing from keeping people being wealthy is your brain, well, ask yourself, is your brain running on this old software? I think many people associate money with freedom, with less stress, with peace of mind, security, higher status. But there are plenty of people who have a lot of money in the world and they don't feel free because of the relationship we have with money. They're stressed. They have a massive fear money will run out. That's a really common one. Or they project their fear onto something else instead of the money. So, yeah, there's plenty of studies that talk about the correlation between money and happiness. But the whole point I'm making here is you must first master yourself and your emotions so that you can have a strong and healthy relationship with money. You don't need money to feel freedom. You should embrace the feeling of feeling free already. And then money is a great Bonus to make you feel even more free. It's like dating. Like, you shouldn't need your partner. You should strive to be your best self. And then when your partner comes along, they just amplify it and make you feel better. It's like a nice addition to your life. Money's a tool. It can buy nice things and experiences and it allows us to support people. But it can't buy love. It can't buy connection. It can't buy happiness, satisfaction, the feeling of making a difference. It can enhance happiness, yeah, but it can't buy you a meaningful life. Only you can create a meaningful life for yourself. So you can do it the hard way by diying it, or you can do it the easy way by investing in yourself and working with an experienced mentor who can guide you through the process. I took a lot of money mindset courses around the time, too, but I think I just buy a course on anything and everything because I love courses and I love having mentors. The choice is yours. However you want to do it. You have to somehow change your relationship with money if you're not happy with it right now. I think financial freedom, to me, when I think about it, is just never having to worry about money. You never obsess about money. You use money as a tool to create or express yourself. But it's more of an extension of you, if I were to be able to describe it. So when you're financially free, you start seeing opportunities for growth everywhere. Like, ideas are just popping up. They're creative in you at all times, where money can just come to you. Often you just see opportunities for growth in anything and everything that you do. You're more generous knowing that money is just an energy exchange. It'll come back to you. When I spend money now, and I read this somewhere, maybe it was in one of the courses I took or something. It challenged me when I spend money to think about where it's going and how it's helping someone. So, like, when I'm buying groceries or imagine, you know, you're at the cashier and the money that's going to them, they're going to buy their family a gift for Christmas, or it's going to put gas in their car when they get their paycheck, like, thank your money as you spend it, that it's going to allow somebody else to be filled with something that they need or they want. We're thanking the money as we're releasing it, and we're actually thinking about the exchange, the energetic exchange that's Happening because money is just energy. We have so many beliefs around money. There's people who think money is the root of all evil. Money can't buy happiness. Money's hard to make. Money doesn't matter to me. Money isn't everything. Therapists and healers are taught and brainwashed, if you will, that we're not supposed to want to make money. This is a big thing that gets brought up with all of my clients. We almost feel guilty for charging. So no wonder we have all of these messed up beliefs around money. So do you even know what your money beliefs are? Do you know where your money stories came from? Like, I was just talking about how most of your childhood shapes the way you think about money. So what are your money stories? How have they shaped your beliefs, your actions? We know as therapists that creating your future starts with your beliefs, your emotions, your attitude, your thoughts. Life does not happen to us. We create our life based on our internal state, our beliefs, our dialogue. This is what's going to determine whether we attract or repel money into our life. Whether we can hold the money, whether we can attract the money. So if you believe that money is hard to make and you're constantly frustrated or defeated or hopeless, like let's say you start a coaching business, let's say you start a private practice and you're constantly thinking that money is hard to make. So every action strategy step that you take, you're frustrated, you feel defeated, and then you're also salty and annoyed at other people who have money. And you're like, ugh, life is not fair. Nobody's going to buy my program. People can't afford it. That's not going to bring you money. Whereas if you have a belief, because it all stems from our belief, right? I make money easily. Money comes to me, money flows, I attract money, then you're going to feel excited, you're going to feel curious, you're going to feel thankful, and then you're going to have this open attitude to endless opportunities. And then you're going to think, people are looking for my program. They want it. They want yesterday, they're going to wake up today. Somebody's going to wake up today ready to urgently and eagerly pay me because I make money easily and I am open to all opportunities. So you see the difference here in shifting our money beliefs. You have to switch your perception around money. Perception is reality. Duh. Right? We know this. So we have to step into the identity. What's the old us? What's the old us? Believe in money and how can we create a new us? What's the new me believe about money? So if you're catching yourself in one of these limiting beliefs around money, be like, no, that's old me. Old me used to think that, but not new me. New me thinks X, Y, Z. And replace it with something that's more serving towards this desired vision that you have for abundance in your life. You have to surround yourself with as much evidence as possible. That's why I love reading so many money mindset books and mentors. I was surrounded by evidence that my vision could happen. Other people have achieved it, so why can't I? Another exercise that was brought up in wherever I learned this from was pretending like you're introducing yourself to somebody in three years. I also have this somewhere else in my notes section where you're talking about what you've achieved. What does your wealth look like? So close your eyes and imagine that for a second. What does your life look like in three years? What does your financial success look like? Your wealth? What are you doing? And then you ask yourself, how can I show up as her or him? Every single day? Try to switch as much around in your life so you can show up as your future self. This is how we quantum leap. This is how we become a wealthy woman or man. How do we be her now? How do we show up as her now? Are we wanting to leave a legacy? Make a larger impact, have this financial security, give back, have more time? What is our driving factor? For me in my letter, it was when I become a mom and I want to be able to be present with my kids. I want to be able to give back. I know that the work that I'm doing is a beautiful ripple effect. And the more people I help, the better this world is going to be in so many different ways. I wanted to travel and I wanted to buy a house. So I had a vision and a mission that was unwavering. I had a driving factor towards my financial security. So I hope this episode inspired you to step into this financial reality that you want to live in, to welcome in all the abundance into your life that you desire. This is so, so possible for you. Once we can reframe your blueprint around money and finances. My love is with you. I'm cheering you on. You have what it takes. Good luck on this money journey. Have some fun along the way and please do keep me posted on any insights that you find on your money healing journey. I would also love to hear your money letter as well. So until next time, I'll see you in the next episode. Thank you so much for listening to the Thriving Therapy podcast. I hope that this episode has inspired you to reduce burnout, work smarter and see the freedom potential you have as a therapist. We would love to have you inside the Therapist to Coach Accelerator Facebook group where we have live trainings and cheat sheets on all things marketing, sales and adding coaching ethically and legally. I am here cheering you on and I'll see you around. Sam.