How to Normalize Success & Avoid Self-Sabotage When You Quantum Leap [Ep 32]

Welcome to the Thriving therapyneur podcast. The show for ambitious therapists who are ready to unapologetically make more money, scale their impact and build their dream coaching business. I'm Carly Hill, therapist turned coach turned CEO of a seven figure online business. I created the Thriving Therapeutic Podcast because I'm obsessed with helping big hearted therapists outgrow the office and build successful and sustainable online businesses. So if you are wondering how you can continue to make an impact without sacrificing the life you love, welcome therapreneur. This is exactly the place for you. Think of it like the business school we never had. I am so excited to dive in with you. Let's get started. Hello my friends. I am so excited to be here with you today. In your earbuds. This is a different type of episode where sometimes I'm teaching about marketing and sales and I'm talking about money and some tangible, measurable business strategy things. I have a complete other side of me where I love to talk about energy and consciousness and spirituality and that is very much a piece of my life. I was very torn actually when I was starting this podcast because I was telling myself the story that it needed to be an educational podcast on how therapists can transition into coaching and they can outgrow the office and they can impact more lives and they can buy back their freedom and they can make more money. And yes, it is absolutely that. But I'm so much more than that as a human being and I wanted all of these parts to be able to come through in this show. And so in today's episode, we're going to be talking about energy and consciousness. I'm going to tell you a story about how I just recently went to Reiki and how me personally am at a stage in my life where I noticed I was hitting an upper limit. So I'm going to talk about what is a quantum leap? What is an upper limit? Four ways that I love to handle. Anytime I hit a upper limit, when I'm quantum leaping, when I am collapsing timelines, because this is just what we do. As we evolve and grow, we hit new limits. So how do we handle this when it comes up for us so that we don't self sabotage and we can continue up leveling. So I'm gonna speak from it, from a personal experience. So for context, I went to Reiki the other day and I got the most beautiful cards in the deck. I felt like after we finished our Reiki session and we did our meditation, we were pulling cards and the cards Were just flying out of the deck like beautiful spiritual material and abundance. Community, generosity, wealth, prosperity, building a legacy. It's all coming to fruition. There was a picture of family, there was a dog, there was babies. And this is me. This is me moving into my mother era, moving into my dream home. We've been building, building a legacy in my business, having tons of abundance and wealth. And the card was like, oh, baby, this is a big one. All the love, all the abundance, all the joy that you can muster up in your heart, it's coming your way and it's coming fast. It's inevitable. The arrival of all of this is inevitable for you, and it's here. You should be prepared. It's coming so fast and it's coming so big. Be prepared to share it and to just overflow this generosity, this positive energy. I mean, like, this is the type of messages that I was getting. And it was just an upbeat, like, expect the arrival of success and happiness and this loving community. And I was like, damn. Like, this is it. Like, I am successful. I share the wealth with those that I love. A line of the card said something along the lines of, like, your fairy tale ending is here. And I had this moment to myself when I was driving home. I was like, wow. Like, this is all coming to fruition. Things that I have been wanting to manifest for so long, they're all here, and they're all here at the same time. I feel like. And I always affirm to myself, life gets to be this good, and it's always this or something better. So part of me is like, damn right. Like, this is just what I do. Like, life gets to be this good. This is your reality, Carly. But the other piece of me was like, wow, my fairy tale ending, like, everything is here. Are we sure life gets to be this good? Is anything going to happen here? And this is where I recognize that I was hitting an upper limit as I was quantum leaping. So for those of you who are wondering, like, well, what is a quantum leap? Because I feel like this word is thrown around a lot, especially in kind of like the manifestation community. A quantum leap to me is something that is experienced when life changes in your favor. So this is a really good thing very fast, maybe in a very big way. Like when the manifestation that you desire, it could be one manifestation. It could be a really big manifestation. It could be your whole life changing overnight. It shows up so much faster than you expect it, or maybe in a totally unexpected way, or it's just all happening at once and it Seems like it's happening fast and it's just all a lot. There's an overwhelm of emotions, to say the least. So now what ends up happening is that unfortunately for so many people that experience these quantum leaps, they have a freakout. And that's because when life shifts in a really fast way where your nervous system doesn't have time to acclimate to what's happening and what's going on, even though it's something that you so deeply want it and desired, there's this surge of all of these unfamiliar experiences that are causing unfamiliar emotions. You know, imagine how it's going to go. And imagine, oh yeah, this is how I'm going to feel. And then it actually happens, and you're like, oh, my God, what is going on? So what I'm trying to say is things have been on your vision board for forever maybe, and you're like, oh, yeah, like, this is how it's gonna go. I imagine it like this, but when it actually happens, your nervous system is. Is taken back, even though it's something that you want it. And you're like, oh my God, what is going on? And you think it's such a surprise, right? Our gut reaction is typically to just push it away to make it stop. And we don't do this consciously. We do this unconsciously. It's our subconscious mind that is pushing it away. Because it's unfamiliar to the subconscious mind, it is deemed unsafe. Even though consciously we're like, no, this is safe. Hello. I've been dreaming of this for forever. Like, thank you. More money. Thank you, dream business. Thank you, man of my dreams. Thank you. Whatever it is in your life, it's still marked as unsafe by our subconscious mind. And it creates this massive dysregulation in our nervous system. And we reach what's called the upper limit. The author, Gay Hendricks, he wrote this amazing book. I recommend it all the time to my clients. It's called the Big Leap. I would recommend picking that up, listening to the audiobook, if you're an audiobook girl or guy. Basically, the upper limit is where we've reached max capacity on how much love, how much success, how much abundance, how much joy that we can allow ourselves to feel in any given moment. And this is just based off of programming, old programming. So it's not like we're born with some sort of capacity. We all are infinite beings, right? I believe that we're infinite beings. In human form, we have infinite capacity, but based off of our life experiences and our programming and our belief systems, we've been programmed especially as like children growing up at this world. The experiences and practices that we've had, there's been a lot of limitations. For whatever reason, we've given ourselves a certain capacity. Basically we have a cap. It's like this invisible ceiling. We give ourselves a certain level of permission as to how much love, how much success, how much abundance, how much joy is socially appropriate for us to feel. Maybe it's like fitting in belonging as a member of society where we're kind of afraid to be too much. Like we don't want to be too successful, we don't want to be too rich. I can't be too this because then people, I'll outshine people or people will be jealous, or I have to just experience just enough of joy, just enough of abundance. Like we don't want to be, quote unquote, too much or it's gonna make our nervous system feel dysregulated. So instead we have to feel just enough. So when we move to an upper limit, we have to step past the feeling of just this baseline, just this plateau. We have to move into more than enough. We have to move into so much that we don't even know what to do with. We're moving into complete overflow. And then we're going to normalize it. It's this infinite capacity. It's just how much do we allow ourselves to experience it? How can we hold this infinite capacity? So with this capacity, with the upper limit, when we reach it, our upper limits, this is where we get so close to getting what we want. Or maybe we actually even get what we want. But then we self sabotage and it gets taken away or last minute, it like pops out of our reach. So the goal here and the question to ourself really becomes, all right, I'm gonna quantum leap. I know I'm going to. But how do I normalize and maintain the quantum leap so my nervous system doesn't freak out? So that my subconscious mind can be on board so that I can continue manifesting over and over and over again. And next time I hit the quantum leap and I notice my nervous system freaking out, what do I do? That's what I want to walk you through. Because we need to show ourselves on both a conscious level and an unconscious level that this is normal. That's what we mean by normalizing the good stuff that happens to us. This just gets to be our life. I want you to think about it like a gymnast on balance beam. I love analogies. So Think about a gymnast walking on a balance beam. This beam represents your comfort zone. So we have the beliefs, we have habits, we have emotional states. And when you stay centered on the beam, you feel secure, you feel stable. Everything around you is predictable, and it's aligned with your past experiences. But now let's say that you just experience a quantum leap. So it's this big financial uptick, a career opportunity, deepening of a relationship. Like, something happens. Okay. Suddenly, the beam expands on one side, inviting you to step into new territory. It's unfamiliar, but it's really exciting. But the new section of the beam, it feels so wobbly, it feels unsteady. Because your subconscious hasn't yet adapted. So when this happens, your mind's natural reaction is to lean back, go to the more familiar part of the beam. Your subconscious mind is going to tell you things like, you're not ready for this. Well, what if it all disappears? Hey, it's safer to go back where you were before. And then before you know it, you may start self sabotaging. So you overspend that abundance that just came to you, bringing your bank account right back to the familiar range. Maybe you procrastinate a big opportunity, it slips through your fingers. Maybe you subconsciously pick a fight with the relationship that was going so awesome. We don't want any of that to happen. We want to stay balanced. So what is the key to staying balanced on the beam and expanding in this new way, expanding to a broader space where we can really train our subconscious mind. That's what we're doing here. We're training our subconscious mind to acknowledge the wobble. Like it's okay to feel nervous or unsteady. As we step into something new. We're going to ground ourselves. This is happening because I deserve it. This is my new normal. We're going to take very intentional steps. So we're going to breathe, we're going to journal, we're going to visualize, especially visualizing our future self. And then it's going to trigger our subconscious mind to be like, you're safe. You're safe. Here it is. Okay? Life gets to be this good, and it gets to be this good. Because this is your why you chose this. You created your life. We are the creators of our life. So life isn't about just clinging to this narrow beam of what's familiar, staying in our comfort zone. I know you know this. Instead, we have to really train our subconscious mind. We have to train this gymnast, inner gymnast of us to walk confidently into new territory. And we Know that wobbling is just part of the process. And of course you're always going to reach new levels. Right? This is something that is a never ending freaking process. Because there is no end to how much you can do and be in this lifetime. Because again, we're infinite human beings and normally you might just manifest things slowly and we give our nervous system time to adapt. But other times, things are going to happen really fast for you or things are all going to come to fruition at the same time. Kind of like how they were for me or they are for me right now. And you're gonna hit this upper limit. You're gonna feel like there's this invisible ceiling. And so when you do and you're like, oh my God, it's all here, it's all happening. We don't want our nervous system to freak out. Maybe you start a new business, maybe you have a post that goes viral. Maybe you make a bunch of money, you meet your dream partner, you get engaged, you get an incredible job offer. Like, whatever it is, whatever it may be for you, I'm gonna recap some steps that you can take. Okay? Four steps. These are the four steps that I take and that I really had to ground myself in taking. When I hit that moment of like, wow, my life is so good, it gets to be even better. How do I normalize this? First I breathed. That sounds silly, but when you're like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, it's all happening for me. And we're kind of like hyperventilating. We're signaling to our body that something is wrong. And we know that our mind and our body is connected in our physiology. It's going to trigger the wrong message to our subconscious mind. Instead, we need to signal to our body like, yes, all is well. So the first thing that I did when I was driving home and I had this moment of like second guessing in a way, and it was like my subconscious mind and my conscious mind, it was almost like they were having this like, yip yap, back and forth battle. The first thing that I did was breathe. We have to breathe through it. Breathe through it. Number two is tuning in to our future self and just being like, oh, yeah, this is what she does. It is no big deal. This is just normal for her. Yeah, she goes through uncomfortable sensations, she gets through them, but then, boom, she gets here. It's regular. It's a normal occurrence. This is just what she does. I love to say it's just like frying eggs on a Tuesday. Morning. Like, it's just no big deal. One of my clients is working on making millions in her business, and I'm like, well, this is just what you do. It's like frying eggs on a Tuesday morning. It's no big deal. You just make millions. Okay, so tune into your future self and be like, yep, this is just what she does. Then number three is you welcome in even more. So the Big Leap talks about this, where you ask yourself, okay, how can I tune into even more love, more abundance, more success? How can I expand into even more right now? So this is just, again, normalizing that there's even more for you. It's almost like, can you show me how good it gets to be? Like, bring it on. I know that there's even more for me. Show me how good it gets to be. And you welcome in this portal for more. The fourth is gratitude. And you say, thank you. And this is really gonna help you move into complete worthiness if you struggle with guilt as you step into your manifestations. Thank you. And it's all happening for you. It's divinely happening for you. Your desires are your roadmap. You had a desire because you were meant to experience it. You. You would have never had the desire in the first place if you weren't supposed to experience it. Everything you desire can come true for you. It will. It actually already has in the future. It's written in the stars. It's done. It's decided. The energy was supposed to be manifested through you. Period. End of sentence. So it's believing that. It's affirming that, and it's saying, thank you for knowing that the universe has your back, that you are divinely guided. I always joked when I first got into Reiki and energy, and I was going through all my Reiki trainings as well, like, so many synchronicities were happening for me in my life. I came up with, like, this saying that I was being invisibly guided on this leash. Like, there was an invisible leash. And I was like, okay, come on, do this next step and do this and do this. And, like, everything was just falling into place. And there was so many synchronicities where you just, like, couldn't even make the shit up that was happening. It was so divinely guided. I am divinely guided. Thank you. And my desires are my roadmap. It's that type of energy. Okay, so those are the four steps. Breathe through it. Don't hyperventilate. Tune into your future self and normalize it. Yep, this is just what I do. No big deal. It's like frying eggs on a Tuesday morning. But holy shit, there's more for me. So again, just normalizing. Like, show me how good it gets to be. And thank you. Gratitude, affirmation that your desires are meant for you, meant to be manifested through you. So when we talk about normalizing, the one thing that I don't want you to do, and I've made this mistake in the past, is skip past the celebrations and bypass when you normalize so much. Like, you're gonna miss the thrill of the first time that it happened. Like, nothing is like the first time that this big thing happened to you, or this nothing's like the big event if it only happened once. So celebrate. Have fun being on this roller coaster of constantly up, leveling, not rushing the process of normalization, but at the same time stepping into the normalization so you can continue to do it over and over again. Because I don't want you to get caught up in this robotic state of like, great, I achieved it. It's normal. Next. And then you get into this hamster wheel of chasing this ever evolving more, more, more, more and more, where you feel like nothing is ever enough. So I want you to have gratitude and celebrate. But we're not hyperventilating and freaking out. We're still breathing through it. We're still having gratitude. We're still normalizing. We're still recognizing that there's more for us. But we're celebrating while also simultaneously reassuring our nervous system that this is just what we do. We keep up leveling, we keep manifesting. I know that you all are worthy of so much abundance. There is infinite possibilities for you. And I know you can feel it in your bones that there is more available to you. It is all within your reach. I wish you nothing but the best on this journey of being a therapreneur. We have such a special responsibility. Not everybody gets this calling to help people, to be a healer, to be an agent of change, as I like to call it. And the law of reciprocity. We give, give, give, give, give so much. There is so much available for you. I promise. I know it, I see it. We just have to unlock the portals. You just have to be an energetic match for everything that you want to welcome in your life. And from there, you can quantum leap, my friends. You can collapse timelines. It starts with a decision of what you want. Get really clear, what is it you want? I think about the notebook where he's like, what do you want? What do you want? Like do you know what you want? Decide what you want. Slap it on the freaking vision board. Claim it as your own. Let's move through the energy so we can be an energetic match. Everything works through resonance. That's how the law of attraction works. And let's start quantum leaping. Let's normalize it. Let's go up and up and up together. We can do so much together. I hope this episode shed some light into quantum leaping hitting our upper limit, how to not self sabotage and everything that is available to you. My love is with you. I am cheering you on. I'm always here supporting you. Until the next episode. I'll see you then. Thank you so much for listening to the thriving therapyneura podcast. I hope that this episode has inspired you to reduce burnout, work smarter and see the freedom potential you have as a therapist. We would love to have you inside the Therapist to Coach Accelerator Facebook group where we have live trainings and cheat sheets on all things marketing, sales and adding coaching ethically and legally. I am here cheering you on and I'll see you around.