The Elephant and The Rider

Hey, it's Chris. And today I wanted to show off my art skills to you and show you this fantastic elephant I drew just for this video. So if you stick around, you'll see why I've done that. Really. Today's video is about one of my favorite metaphors and concepts when it comes to actually building trust and connecting with patients and getting them to understand what you're saying at a deeper level. So they're inspired to follow your advice, complete their course of care, and get the best results they can. This is something that I did wrong for years and years. And when I came across this, just the penny dropped and I went, ah, that's very, very different to what I've been doing. And by changing that, I've been able to really talk to patients at a much deeper level. And this is something I read in a book by Jonathan Haidt called the Righteous Mind, which is one of the best books I've ever written, ever read. Sorry, I definitely haven't written it. And personally, I think everybody should read it because it's thought. It really, really helps when it comes to communication. And one of the concepts in this book, he talks about the brain. And he talks about the two parts of the brain that you have. The logical, analytical mind that is based on logic and reason and thinks things through. And then you have the less conscious, the more instinctive, emotional mind. This is what those of you who've read Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Carneman recognizes. Type 1 and type 2 thinking, or systems 1 and systems 2. So essentially, it's a concept that you can simplify the brain into these two parts. The rational, logical, analytical part. And the less rational, the more instinctive, emotional part. And he described these two as a rider and an elephant. And he said, the problem is most of us think that the rider, the logical part, is in control. So we pop a little rider on here. This is the analytical mind. This is the logical part. The elephant is the emotional part. Now, the emotional part of the brain is much, much older. The logical part is something only humans have, but that goes through all mammals. Pretty much all mammals will have some form of the elephant there. And this guy thinks he's in control when he's riding the elephant. He thinks he's dictating where the elephant goes. And most of us think most the time that we're the logical bit and we're in control. However, if the elephant and the rider disagree, the rider's not going to win. If the elephant really doesn't want to go somewhere, the Rider is not going to overpower him. You know, let's say the elephant sees a little mouse again, just showing off my fantastic artwork. Elephant sees the mouse and freaks out. I don't know if they do freak out with mice, but it's the stereotype. So we'll go with it. The elephant's freaking out and running away, going to stampede in the opposite direction. No amount of cajoling or reassuring or trying to assert control is going to work. And, and this is actually the way our brains work, that we make decisions emotionally, we make them instinctively. This part of the brain is way faster and it will reach that decision often. What happens though? Because the guy on top, the rider likes to give the impression he's in charge and he wants other people to think he's in charge. We want people to think that we make decisions rationally and logically and we're smart, we think things through. What happens is the rider starts to come up with reasons why he wanted to go that way anyway. And this is something you'll do all the time without realizing. And if you're married in a long term relationship, you'll be very good at spotting your spouse doing this. It's much easier to see in other people. So what will happen is you'll make a decision often emotionally and then if you're asked why you did that, you will start creating logical reasons that make sense and then often you'll believe those even if they're not true. This is true for our patients and this is where so many of us go wrong. Because our approach to education is we're trying to talk to the little guy on top of our reporter findings. You know, we will justify our recommendations. We will try to educate them to understand why we're saying this many visits, why we're doing an adjustment, what the adjustments doing. But we're not speaking to the elephant. And if the elephant doesn't like it, the elephant's leaving and the little rider on top is going to come up with reasons why he couldn't. And this, you'll have this with patients, they'll decide not to come back. And then when they tell you why, it's a reason that you know, probably isn't that accurate. It's like, like I don't think it is, that that doesn't fit with what they were saying because the rider's just trying to seem like he's in charge. So it's really important when you're talking to patients that you talk to the elephant. We can bring some logic in as well, and that's often really useful, particularly with some types of patient. The rider needs to go along with it as well. But we have to talk to the elephant. We do that by talking to that emotional part of the brain. So showing somebody that we care and that we're listening, that they can trust us, will calm the elephant down. Because if the elephant's skittish, trying to educate somebody isn't going to work. Equally, if the elephant's in a lot of pain, it's not going to be listening. So sometimes when somebody's really flared up, it's not the time to try and educate them. It's not the time to talk about pain science, it's not the time to try and get a disc anatomy lesson going. Just get them feeling better. As the elephant calms down, it's easy. Then we can talk to the rider. We can bring some logic in. Because when the elephant's quite calm and happy, the rider can start to nudge him where he wants to go, go. But we have to do that first. So really try and get that emotional connection with your patients. Don't look at it as this wishy washy thing. It's really powerful for learning and if it gets in the way, it just won't happen. So really try and do that. Show patients that you care. First of all, when you're giving advice or recommendations, paint an emotional picture, you know, if you know what their goal is, give them a vivid picture of what their life will look like when they've done it. But put some color in that. Don't just do a technical drawing. That just speaks to the analytical guy. So next time you're with a patient, rethink of this. The elephant and the rider. Speak to the elephant first. Get the elephant on side. It'll usually bring the rider. If the rider needs a bit more encouragement, he'll do that much more easily when the elephant is nice and calm. So talk to your patient's elephant. Don't think that this is just an analytical process of education. And you'll find over time, particularly as you get practice at it and get better you, it will get much, much easier and you'll connect better with so many patients. If you need any help with that, reach out to me. There is the happy patient project, of course, is the course that you can enroll in. There is so many strategies throughout. The whole thing about speaking to the elephant, it's a really key part of the curriculum right throughout is making that emotional connection. So if you want to turbocharge that, I'll put the link below. It's patient centered.co.uk HPP but for the rest of you, just think about this concept. Give it a try with your patience. And as always, any questions, you can always drop me a message and let me know. Take care.