In this talk, the speaker argues that consultants, coaches, and advisors should aim to become a client’s primary advisor rather than merely a trusted or strategic advisor. A primary advisor is defined as the first person a client turns to when under stress, facing a challenge, or needing a quick answer. The speaker contrasts the three roles: a trusted advisor has earned the client’s confidence; a strategic advisor provides specialized, forward‑looking expertise; a primary advisor combines both but adds immediacy and personal connection. Using a personal anecdote about his daughter’s college transfer, the speaker illustrates how his own business coach, Barry, fulfills the primary advisor role by (1) listening and validating emotions, (2) leveraging a network to locate resources, (3) possessing deep knowledge of the client’s industry, (4) anticipating future needs, and (5) acting like a best friend. The speaker emphasizes that to become a primary advisor one must specialize in a niche, know the client’s industry inside‑out, and proactively surface solutions. The payoff is a shift to value‑based pricing, heightened client reliance, and a position that automatically confers trust and strategic relevance.
Chapters
You know, there's a lot of talk about being either a trusted advisor or a strategic advisor. And I think people go back and forth, which one's the right one? I believe it's actually neither. I think we want to be what's called the primary advisor. Now let's analyze this. A trusted advisor simply means that you've earned the trust of your client and therefore can support them without them questioning what knowledge you're departing to them. You're already a trusted advisor. Strategic means that you can help them with strategy, that you can position their business to move forward or to achieve certain things because you have specialized knowledge. That's expected of you. A primary advisor though is the first advisor that that client goes to when they're under stress, when they have a question, when they're facing a challenge. That's what you want to be. I think your clients have many trusted advisors. I think your client has many strategic advisors. And absolutely you have to be those. But you want to be the primary advisor, the first person they go to. That's the true advantage for you, and that also proves that you're delivering the most benefit to your clients. Actually, let me share a little story. My daughter recently was going to Virginia Tech, my alma mater. She started school there, and after a semester, it was very clear the school wasn't a fit for her, and she wanted to transfer out. Now, I've never had a child go to college, let alone transfer out and go somewhere new, so I didn't know how to handle it. What did I do? I went to Barry. Barry is my strategic advisor. He's a business coach for me, and I know he doesn't have experience or knowledge necessarily with students transferring colleges, but I wanted to go to someone that I trusted. Now, why do I go to Barry, and why is he my primary advisor? First of all, he's someone that listens to the challenge that I'm facing. And this is insignificant in the big picture of things, but he still was a shoulder to cry on, saying, you know, I didn't expect this, I don't know what the financial costs are for changing colleges, etc., etc. I just listened and validated that having feelings about it is okay. That's an important role, just like a best friend would serve for you. And as a primary advisor, you can do the same things for your clients. What's important? First, I need a shoulder to cry on, or at least someone to speak to and know that I'm being heard. So as a primary advisor, your first and primary role is to simply hear your clients, validate their feelings. The second thing Barry did is he found the answer. Now this is key. You don't need to have the answer, but you do need to be able to find the answer. So Barry has a network of contacts. He knows countless people that I don't know, and when I told him about this challenge I was facing, he said, "You know what? I know 3 or 4 parents that have their children going through college right now, and I think one of them has a student that's transferring. Let me speak with them and see if I can put you in touch." And that's exactly what he did. And now I had a resource I'm going to go to and learn from. And you know, the other thing that Barry does is he knows my industry. He knows the business I'm in. He studies it. So he's very intimate with the challenges that my business faces. When I come to him with a challenge that's regarding my business, he's already intimate with what my business does and I don't need to reeducate him. That's why I always go to Barry first. He already knows me well enough that I don't have to explain anything. It's truly like acting like a best friend. So to be a primary advisor, know your client and their industry inside and out. Here's a little hint: be a specialist in a niche. I know you've heard this before, but man, you gotta do it. That's what a primary advisor does, so do the same. And the last thing that Barry does is he anticipates the needs for my business. He knows my industry so well, he's constantly researching what's going on, that when I have a challenge, He's telling me about it before I'm even aware of the challenge. That's the power, again, of being in a niche. He reads the articles, he reads the trends, and he's advising me proactively. Now, when my daughter was transferring colleges, of course he didn't necessarily anticipate that, but my business needs he anticipates to the point where he's giving me knowledge before I even realize I need it. Now, the benefits to you should be pretty obvious. As a primary advisor, Now you transcend cost. It doesn't matter what you charge anymore. You are clearly a value-based provider. You're the most important, strategic, trusted— because you're the primary relationship they have. And that's the important part. As a primary advisor, you're automatically trusted, you're automatically strategic, you are the gateway for your clients to getting the answers they need. You are the gateway. And that's a critical relationship that every client needs. That should be you.
