Building A Business with A $200 Facebook Post, Ep #290 of Entrepreneurship Elevated

All right, you better strap on that gassy buckle. We're really stretching for words here because we're going to discuss a brand new startup out of Australia called Future Golf, how they're kicking butt, and you can do the same on today's episode of Entrepreneurship Elevated.

Mm-hmm.

Ah, Kelsey, I'm the only person that gets pumped here.

You do that.

No, you're the only person that gets grunting verbally pumped.

That doesn't mean we're not pumped.

Are you suggesting you're pumped?

Yeah.

Jeremy clearly is pumped as he's texting away to his mother.

Pat, how are you?

Hey, Pat.

Hey, Rob.

Stop calling me. Come on.

Fixing your Instagram.

Oh, do that, Jeremy. Stop getting distracted. My name is Mike Michalowicz. I'm an author on a mission to eradicate entrepreneurial poverty. You know what that is. We don't even need to talk about it anymore. We do need to fix it. We're going to fix it starting today. I'm joined in studio by a dear friend of mine, a colleague, and a president of our company, Kelsey Ayers.

Hello, friend! Thank you for listening to us. Please don't forget to subscribe wherever you're listening.

And we got, of course, Jacob Blone, who's, who's constantly fixing things for us. Thank you, sir.

What's up?

And I'm busting his chops, but he's on Instagram doing stuff. And we have a special guest, very special guest, our very own Hawaiian Lumberjack. Hello, Mr. Hawaiian Lumberjack! How you doing?

Welcome!

Oh, hey, how's it going?

It's good to see you.

Splendid.

I loved your costume today. We're recording this on Halloween. We're doing 3 or 4 episodes. Yeah, throw that on his head there. We're doing 3 or 4 episodes of Entrepreneurship Elevated on Halloween. Everyone brought their costumes, and you came in as a skateboarder who had a tragic wipeout, and his arm was— I think his bone was exposed in his arm.

Arm was broken, yeah.

And your costume started to bleed all over the desk, and you immediately ditched the arm.

Yeah, yeah, I decided to take it off. Actually, a little blood got on the carpet in the office.

Really?

Yeah.

It was dripping off?

Yeah.

Oh, that's so funny.

I thought it was supposed to dry pretty quickly, but not the case.

Well, you win best effort though, because I think that was probably the best costume. I didn't see the arm though, so I gotta take it. But did you see his arm injury?

No, I didn't.

No.

Okay.

I thought it was the best costume conceptually. The one, the best costume I saw was probably Erin's dressed as a—

A dinosaur.

A dinosaur, I thought it was an alligator.

She made it an alligator because her husband was the, oh, a crocodile, was the crocodile hunter. So for the party over the weekend, she was a crocodile, but it's really a dinosaur costume.

Oh, okay.

Plus one for wearing pajamas to work.

Yeah, seriously.

Oh, those are pajamas.

Next year, that's definitely what I'm doing.

A pajama day?

I'm just gonna find a costume that's like a onesie.

I have a baboon costume if you want.

Yeah, I know.

We saw that. That was as awkward as pink ass and everything.

I also love how you always call it a baboon.

I love that. It is called baboon. Baboon. How do you pronounce it?

Baboon.

Baboon.

No, it's baboon.

No, it's baboon.

It's not baboon.

Baboon?

Where are you from, New Jersey? It's baboon. So, do you have a little something for us, Mr. Baboon?

I do, I do. It's more of a question than a tip this time, but what is a female lumberjack called?

Ooh.

A lady lumberjack?

First of all, it's such a dumb— is it a joke? Do you think that would be the answer, Kelsey? What's a female lumberjack? What's a female firefighter? Lady firefighter? I would say—

I like the alliteration, okay?

I would say a lumber Jane.

No, close.

What?

Lumberjill.

Ah, Jack and Jill, I get it.

That was good.

I thought you were gonna do something with deaths.

Oh, yeah, but I didn't wanna be too morbid on Halloween or whatever.

If ever there's a time.

I mean, I guess so, but yes, I did read a little bit something about how lumberjacking is actually the most dangerous job in America. And while in 2015 there were 67 lumberjacking deaths, which doesn't sound like a lot, but lumberjacking is— actually had the most amount of deaths per 100,000 workers in the country.

That is pretty morbid. I wonder how many lumberjills have died.

That's a good question. I'm not sure.

Yeah.

And I wonder if lumberjacks— is that a current term? I mean, do women go by lumberjack? I know there's been a lot of these terms, like antiquated. Yeah, is antiquated, is it?

Well, so the correct term nowadays with the advent of, or invention, whatever the correct term that I'm trying to use, is for, uh, it's actually called a logger.

That's right, it's a logger.

Since the invention of the, uh, chainsaw. Oh yeah, lumberjacks are, are They use saws or whatever.

Yeah.

Saws, uh, axes.

Manual machines only.

Yeah. We're badass.

We are.

We are badass, yeah. I love it.

I love it.

Well, it's always a joy to have you, Mr. Hawaiian Lumberjack. Thanks for coming in today. Absolutely. And you're welcome to stay if you wish and participate, unless you got work to do.

Yeah, I mean, I'm totally down to participate.

Yeah, then hang.

Then, yeah, pull up a seat and hang tight. Maybe you guys can do it while we do the next thing. So, Kels, what is going on with a shout out? Do we have one?

Oh, yeah. We do have one.

All right.

Are you ready for it?

Yeah!

This comes from Rebecca. Rebecca writes, "Hi Mike, I have listened to your Profit First audiobook twice now and I am reading the actual book to try and get it all to sink in. It has really opened my eyes and in the last quarter alone I have cut expenses by $20,000. So I really want to say thank you and I look forward to the next 12 months and getting on our feet after 10 years of living week to week. My goal is to not need to check my bank balance before I get groceries or fuel." We don't want to be billionaires, but we would want to be comfortable, and with Profit First, I know we can. So thank you.

Rebecca, that's awesome. You know, and I think that's the aspiration of many entrepreneurs, Kallis, is that entrepreneurs aren't necessarily looking to become billionaires, but we're looking for financial freedom and comfort.

Yeah, exactly. Security.

Yeah, and I think that's the new definition of success. I think if we rewind back to yesteryear, there was a period of time where it all was about How big is your house? How big is your business? It's all about size, and now I think we're getting rooted more into reality.

Yeah, I love that.

Okay, I love that you love that. Although, you know what?

I was just watching the other day an Amex commercial that it was basically like she gets her Amex card in the mail, and she opens it up, and she's just envisioning all these kind of lavish things that are clearly beyond her lifestyle. I was like, ugh, that is the worst thing that we should be propagating these thoughts that I just need more and more and more. Like, let me go on a spa trip 'Let me go shopping with this Amex card.' Oh, really? Yeah, it was awful.

So, 'Let me live outside my means.' Yeah, exactly.

Damn you, Amex. 'Give me debt that I'll never be able to pay back.' Damn you.

I saw the most amazing sticker on an 18-wheeler. It said, 'Tired of us driving on the road? Stop buying crap.' Oh, wow. Yeah.

Wow. It's a good one. I like where Mike's microphone is. You guys speak into your crotch. You put the microphone so low. There's no way that you guys speak.

Unfortunately, I'm very acrobatic.

Oh my God, Mike, that's so great that you're that— you got to stick your face down like that to talk.

Okay, it's excellent.

That was great. I wish we were filming that.

Gotta work out.

His name is Ali Terai, and he is the founder and CEO of Future Golf. He's the finalist of the 2019, uh, Telstra Business Awards and featured by Golf Digest as one of the 40 best things in golf. Future Golf was launched in 2014 with less than 200 smacks, $200. Kelsey's laughing at taking pictures of Mike talking into his crotch and a Facebook post. Future Golf has since become one of the world's largest golf communities for young golfers. This is a business that's exploding in Australia, and we want to share with all our listeners so you can see how you can have explosive business in Australia, here in the US, or anywhere in the world. So, Ollie, welcome to our show.

Thank you very, very much for having me.

So tell us, what is the concept of Future Golf?

Yeah, it's, um, pretty simple. So it— at the beginning, it was all just about getting younger people playing golf together. So I'm not sure if it's, um— I'm pretty sure it's the same in the US as well, but the average age of golfers worldwide sits somewhere around 60 years old. And when I got into the game of golf, um, Yeah, I was, I was trying to get into it. I didn't have friends or family that were playing, and one of the big things that I really wanted was to play with the like-minded community. So that was kind of the start of the business. It was called Gen Y Golf when we first launched it, which came with its own set of problems because it's very hard to define what Gen Y is, um, whether we were Gen Y, were we just outside of it. But the whole concept was more around getting, I guess, younger people into the game, getting them outdoors, connecting, making friends, improving a skill that's Yeah, really, really great for all abilities and, you know, all sorts of people from all walks of life.

Well, how's the game played? Is it different than traditional golf?

Well, we still play very traditional golf, I guess, in the common sense, but we also have partnerships with mini golf courses, driving ranges, things like Topgolf, which is huge in the US. So the whole idea is if you're, if you're interested in golf, we've got an option for you, and then we partner with all different facilities., and then they provide our members with the benefits. So, um, the business model is essentially a two-sided marketplace connecting our partners with our community.

But what I understand is, and I have not experienced, uh, FutureGolf, that you are changing the face of it. You're making it more accessible and you're offering more flexibility. Can you just give us the details of exactly how that works, that it is more flexible, that it does offer that accessibility?

Yeah, definitely. So, so some of the, the perceived barriers to golf is that it can be a little bit elitist. You have to join a private golf club, um, it can be quite expensive and time-consuming. So what we created was something that sits a little bit below that. So it's still like a golf membership, but, um, instead of it being maybe $2,000 or $3,000, our membership starts at $250. Um, instead of— okay, having to pay like a joining fee and go on a waiting list to join a private club, you can join Future Golf, um, straight away and And then off you go playing 4, 12, 30 rounds at different golf courses that we partner up with. So, it gives our members a little bit more choice and flexibility rather than maybe just being, yeah, just playing at the one course all the time or requiring to be an addict to get into the game.

Well, that's interesting. So, by becoming a member of FutureGolf, you get access to more courses at a discounted price, a significantly discounted price. Is that— Am I hearing that right?

Yeah, yeah. So, so with our memberships, you get, um, so they start at 4 free rounds. So it's even better than a discount. You get a free round of golf, um, at a partner course, and then you get ongoing discounts. And, and the whole idea is that we're trying to build this younger community, but then also exposing them to clubs and courses that our members maybe never would have heard of or would have accessed.

That's interesting. You're almost— so these courses I presume are excited to be members because you're marketing them effectively to a whole new—

yep, 100%.

So for them, I think by reducing costs, is it— they consider it a marketing cost for them, right?

Yep, absolutely. So, um, one of the big problems that golf has globally is it's the pathway and the funnel of younger people entering the game. So this is amazing for golf clubs and facilities, um, all over because, yeah, they get access to a completely different demographic that could become a 20, 30, 40-year customer ongoing. So, so it's been amazing for the golf industry in Australia. I think we've generated maybe 6 to— it's probably $6 to $7 million now for the Australian golf industry, and that's completely new revenue that's coming in into this space.

So do some, some of these members of Future Golf become members of these different clubs as they experiencing them?

Yeah, bang on. Uh, so I think 20% of our members have ended up joining one of our partner courses, which is phenomenal. So, so, so our attrition actually for the most part supports all of our partner courses, which is fantastic.

Wow, that's interesting.

Yeah.

So, okay, so I get that. What about these established courses though? What about the members themselves? So there's a famous— I shouldn't say famous. There's a popular golf course in the north where I am in New Jersey called Fiddler's Elbow. It's a popular course and it's a, it's a more expensive course. So you have the stodgy— if that's right choice of words, that's what Kelso was saying— stodgy 60-year-old men sitting there that have paid, you know, their $50,000 for membership, and now they get some young buck like the Hawaiian Lumberjack to walk in, ripped pants, he talks to his crotch. I mean, it's like really weird, and he paid $250 to be here. Aren't these people looking at him saying, who is this kid? Like, why is he in? Is there an adverse response from the established members at these clubs?

Um, there's probably a pocket of clubs out there that are still in the adoption process. And I guess it's, it's like when anything changes, you know, like we always talk about Blockbuster and Netflix and, uh, Kodak and what happened with the, with digital cameras in that time. And I think there's always going to be some resistance, but the way that we, we try to support the clubs with that is we call it a tribe within a tribe. You know, because the— say the majority of these golf clubs will have an established membership base that sometimes can be stuck in their ways. But for the most part in Australia, we've found that even the older members just love having the youth coming through because it brings energy inside of the club environment. It brings a whole different dynamic there, and, and I think it changes that atmosphere completely in that, in that environment. So, so the transition's been really, really good. Like, we've never had problems with with that concept. We've been very fortunate with it over here.

What inspired you to come up with this idea, this concept?

Yeah, I think you guys were talking about it earlier. It was about more around first learning about business and doing something that I was passionate about and doing something that I really cared about with people that I really cared about. So, that was the start of this business. Like as I said earlier, it started with a Facebook post and a very cheap website and the whole concept was just a very, very small small passion-driven business rather than doing an MBA. I thought that why don't we actually go and try something, put it out there and then see what happens. So, so at the beginning the whole concept was just about playing golf with a few friends and our baseline goal was can we have a golf club with 8 to 10 of our mates and then let's just see what happens from there. If other people like it, great, they're more than welcome to come on board, but it was never meant to be a business from the beginning. So it just kind of evolved that way.

You know, this reminds me of, uh, NetJets, I think, is a subscription for private jets. And, uh, so this model I think would apply to other things like, yeah, churches have people that are, you know, 80 and older. They're literally dying, uh, to get new members in. And, um, I don't know if a model would apply to church, but I'm just saying this is not the only scenario. There must be, uh, other opportunities that come your way and you say, oh, I can apply it here, or I can apply it there. How do you stay focused on Future Golf and not get distracted by other opportunities that would be so similar to this?

Oh, it's so funny. We've drawn up so many different ideas, like a future travel, future learning, uh, so many, so many different, so many different options there and verticals. And who knows, one day we might do them, because you're right, the model does apply when you're connecting a highly undifferentiated marketplace with a new community, there are definite opportunities that exist there. You know, we've picked golf where it fits quite nicely because of the transition period that golf's going through at the moment. But you've seen it with hotels, you know, Airbnb. You're always seeing it with ClassPass, which are huge in the US, doing it with yoga studios and gyms. So Uber, I think, I think the model is definitely hitting close to that established point. But it's also a really exciting opportunity because the thing that I love most about this as a business model is that it's completely mutually beneficial. If the members don't look after the partners, the partners won't stay on. If the partners don't look after the members, they won't then engage with them. So there's something quite beautiful about that model that we're only facilitating the exchange, whereas the market is kind of looking after each other, which is really, really cool.

What about one of these clubs saying, oh, you know what, Future Golf is simply a middleman, we can do this ourselves, we can reach out to, uh, this youth market and just offer membership at a reduced price so they can test this out? Do you ever fear that these other— these, these courses that you're working with are going to try to jump the middleman and go right to the end consumer, leaving you out?

Um, not really. Like, like, I'm sure there's— like with everything, there's risks and there's threats, but, but I think one of the big reasons why we do exist and have done relatively well is because most golf clubs and facilities just don't have the budget for marketing and for promotion to that marketplace. And it is quite an expensive market to target, especially if they're new to golf or entering golf. The jump from going from I'm just starting to play golf to joining a private golf club is actually quite big, and it might take 6 months or 12 months. So, so that's where we're more that pathway that facilitates their, their development journey rather than, rather than viewing the golf clubs as competitor, because ultimately we want to support those facilities. So if they market to our marketplace, we love it because it just means that more younger people are getting exposed to their course, and inherently it increases the attractiveness of our offer as well.

As you've been growing this, uh, was there any assumptions or expectations you've had that have not come true, the bumps and bruises?

Oh geez, I don't think I've ever heard a business owner say no to that question.

That's true. That's true.

Everything's perfect.

Give me a couple of things.

It's been the smoothest ride.

Okay.

It couldn't have been easier. But yeah, definitely. I think at the beginning, because we were doing something quite different, just explaining our model and what we were trying to do and getting getting the partner clubs on board was a little bit of a challenge. So, so that was like, I think with all businesses, and just what I've found speaking to so many different entrepreneurs, is that first 6 to 12 months really, really tests whether, whether your idea and your concept has what it takes. So I think for us, that was that. It was, we were trying to manage growing our partnership base, running events, um, setting up the administration and I guess automating a large part of our business because for the first 3 to 4 years, everyone that was involved was just doing this part-time or voluntarily based. So that was quite a challenge in just getting, I guess, that traction at the beginning and getting set up was probably that challenge. But yeah, the big one was just building our product because it's quite an imaginary type of product. We don't hold any physical goods and everything's based on relationships. So, building that network, the trust and the relationships at the beginning, it took some time. But that's also been, I think, the core that really differentiates us as a business as well.

It's a fascinating model. I'm curious, chicken or the egg? Do you have to first get a club on in order to sell membership, or do you need a member in order to get a club even interested?

Yeah, we did it the other way. So, we sold the concept as a bit of a presale. More as just an idea at the beginning. So as I said earlier with the, with the Facebook post, it essentially just said, um, are you someone who's young and into golf? Do you want to play with other people that are like-minded? This is what we're thinking, and we're going to try to build it over the next couple of months. You will get potentially a few free rounds of golf, a couple of golf events, a golf handicap, which is a big thing over here in Australia. And, and then off we went. So, so we did the pre-sale. We probably had I think it was mainly just my friends at the beginning, but that, that injected a little bit of cash into the business so we could operate and start our little website and get some ads out there. And then from there, we've just done it that way. We've just built the product after, I guess, after we have the members and we have people interested.

And I assume that gave you bargaining power more than just cash. You now could go to your first club and say, listen, I got 30 people that are on board. Open up some space for us.

Yeah, we've got, we've got members, you know.

So how many members do you have now?

We've got 3,200 in Australia, um, and then we've got a database maybe about 30,000 to 40,000. So, so I think we'll end this year as the third or fourth largest golf club in the country, which really is crazy. Yeah, which is crazy.

You're the third or fourth largest golf club and you don't have a golf club?

Yeah.

It sounds right. Isn't that like— Jeremy, what's the Airbnb, right? You stayed at Airbnbs all the time.

All the time, right?

That's all I do.

They don't have any inventory. They have more rooms than any other resort or, uh, hotel chain, and they don't own a single property.

Jeremy, I know, it's crazy.

That's crazy. So, okay, so you got thousands of members. How many clubs do you have?

We now have 80 in Australia, so, which is pretty good considering there's maybe only 500 legitimate golf clubs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we're inching forward.

Yeah.

Does— can any member play at any club of the all 80 clubs, or are there different levels?

Yeah, we've got different levels. So we've got 3 different levels, and then there's only— out of those 80, there's maybe 5 or 6 of them that are a little bit more exclusive that are for the top level of our membership. Um, and they're, they're more so— that's more designed for people that are nearly ready to join a private exclusive golf club. So it gets them exposed to them.

So you really matriculate people into this commitment. They start off at a low cost point, they can play around a little bit. If they're into it, they can uplevel to nicer courses and then uplevel into full membership at one of these places. But if they uplevel into a membership, say I find the country club for myself through your program, I love it, I join it, Um, do you get kind of a final compensation for that conversion, or that was just part of the deal and you lost that member and congratulations to the country club?

Yeah, like, like at the moment we've done bits and pieces of that. So with some clubs that get a real high volume of our members, we, we have a little bit of a referral fee, um, that we put in there, which is usually a percentage of the first year of their, their membership fee. But for the most part, um, I think we'll do more of that as the community grows and gets bigger and that transition rate gets even stronger. But right now, the main priority is we just really want to just support those partner clubs for supporting us and helping us with providing our members with that opportunity. But I think that there's so many different verticals that you can incorporate with this type of model as well. At the moment, our core focus is just more around building the partnerships and building our community and making sure that member experience is as good as we can make it, and the event experience is phenomenal. And then after that, um, we'll start building out different components of that, like sponsorship and commercialization and, um, you know, upleveling the partners. And there's a few different ideas there to throw around.

Kelsey, you gotta remind me when we're done with the interview, I tell you about a woman and her golf story. It happened here in Boone Township. Make a note of that. Okay, so because it just came to me. It's a funny true story, and you can Google satellite this thing as proof. Ollie, um, you're trying to break into the US. What is your strategy? How do you get into this country? Just because people in this country want to get into Australia.

Yeah, that's right, shrimp on the barbie. There's nothing more delicious.

Um, is that the most annoying phrase? Shrimp? That's not annoying. This is annoying.

I love them. I think it's the— I think it's the greatest thing. Like, I traveled to— I've been traveling to the US a lot over the last 5, 6 years. And it's amazing. Like, Australia is on the other side of the world. So anything that bridges that gap culturally or through pop culture, I think is fantastic.

Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, good for you, man. We love it. We absolutely love it. So, and, you know, I think it's amazing. Like, there's so many Aussies that come over to the States, especially New York. Like, New York's one of my favorite cities in the world. And yeah, it's an amazing energy and completely different. But we're going off track there. But yeah, definitely.

Yeah.

So how do you break in? With the US for sure, like, I think when we're looking at our type of model, it becomes a really attractive proposition because in the US you guys have, I think it's something like 17,000 golf courses, and you've got Topgolf, you've got the college system. So there's a lot of young people that are already playing golf, probably more so than what we've got here in Australia, obviously just due to your population. But then you've also got a lot more golf courses there too. So, um, but then with that comes the challenges. You've got a lot more country clubs and a lot more exclusive golf facilities, whereas here most of our courses are more semi-private. But in saying that, there are thousands of courses that fit our bill in the US. So we're just exploring that at the moment and trying to see what, what setting up in the US looks like, which regions to target initially, and then how we'll do that build. But I've done, I think, 3, 4 trips in the last 12 months and it's looking really, really promising. So, so we're excited to hopefully, um, have a launch date maybe in the next 3 to 6 months if everything goes well.

That's awesome.

I have a question for you. Are you targeting, um, more, more the private clubs, or can public fit in as well?

Yeah, so in Australia we do both. We do both public and private, um, and, and it's mainly Like, if the, if the course has a great location, uh, they've got, uh, you know, an attractive proposition, we're going to approach them and, and see if we can get a partnership with that club. And I think it's, it's providing our members with a nice variety as well, especially with price points, so that if they do then want to go back to that facility, they've got a few different options. Like, in Australia, we have some partner clubs where their average round price might be $20 or $30, and then we've got others where their average round price might be $150 to $200. You know, so, so giving our members that selection is something really important.

In Australia, I presume your members probably congregate from certain cities— Sydney, Melbourne, and so forth. Yep. And is, is that true? Like that? Okay, so they got to travel to these different clubs. So these clubs are generally in their vicinity, right?

Yep.

Yep.

So where you used to live? Yeah, yeah, they're drivable. So, so in Melbourne, it is largely a driving city. So we're very, very used to hopping in the car for 45 minutes. That's the average commute to work for most people. Um, and then driving to golf for an hour, hour and a half isn't an issue. The other thing with Melbourne, like, pound for pound, it's probably— it's arguably got the best golf in the world, both on value and variety. We've got a region called the Sand Belt where the Presidents Cup will be hosted this this year. So it's a phenomenal golfing city, especially in, in Victoria. I mean, in Melbourne, there's maybe 4 or 5 different golfing regions that have 10 to 20 different clubs and courses there. So, so the pockets are really established over here. Then you go to Sydney, it's a little bit different, um, because of land and the scarcity there, the demand for courses are a lot higher. In Queensland, the state is just so huge that it could be 2 hours between some of the courses. So, so it's more a coverage strategy just like that, where, where we try to find 8 to 10 partner clubs in a specific region that are, say, maybe within 20 or 30 kilometers of each other. And then, and then you can start building a nucleus of members in that region.

Yeah, that's good because that will translate, I presume, to the US market. Last question I got for you is getting started here. Do you have to start a new company meaning you have to have a new company formation, or can you literally run the business legally, so to speak, out of Australia?

Yeah, then that's completely outside of my hitting zone. So at the moment we're working with an amazing lawyer who's, I think, got the bar, got bar qualification in the US, Australia, the UK, has set up Afterpay and some other amazing companies in the, in the US. So we just by chance got connected. To her, and then we're exploring that process. All I know is it's going to be very, very expensive to set it up, and it's going to take a lot of paperwork and documentation. But we'll work through that process and just ensure that we're set up correctly, especially with recent changes to, I guess, trade and setup. Just want to make sure that we've got all that right before we embark on this part of the journey.

Um, Ali, where can our listeners— and I wouldn't be surprised if we have some people that own golf courses listening— where can our listeners learn more about you and connect with you?

Yeah, absolutely. So LinkedIn's the big one personally, so just Ali Tarai on LinkedIn. I love that as a platform at the moment. I've got a website as well, which is alitarai.com, and then for Future Golf, it's futuregolf.com.au.

Great. We'll have those links in the show notes. Ollie, thank you so much for joining us today.

Thanks. Thank you very, very much for having us. That was great.

All right. So what we're gonna do is recap what we learned. We're gonna play a game with the Hawaiian Lumberjack who's gonna be talking to his crotch. Um, we're gonna call it What's He Whispering to His Crotch? That's the name of the game. Good name. So you just whisper to your crotch and then we have to guess what you're whispering to your crotch. And, uh, we're gonna thank our corporate partner. I wanna thank Nextiva. It makes this show a reality. Shockingly, Hawaiian Lumberjack, they've stuck with us all these years. And like, yeah, we'll support this garbage, this horrible show you have. I mean, the content's great until it gets to this part. Why are you shaking your head, Kelsey?

Zip your lips. You zip your lips.

You're speaking so ill of us. I'm not speaking ill of us. It's mostly you.

I know.

What'd you think of that video, Mike? We had that celebration for Kelsey's presidentship. We saw a video that Jeremy produced. What did you think about that?

I wasn't there.

You weren't there? There were so many people.

It didn't get shared to you, though.

Did you see the video?

Nobody shared. I deleted it.

I'm sorry. Speak closer to your mic.

I totally feel left out.

Oh, you guys see his video?

I did see that Kelsey got knighted. Yeah.

Excellent. Yeah.

So are you Sir Kelsey now? Yes.

Sir Sparkles? Sir Sparkles. I like Sir Sparkles. Alright, what did we learn? Why don't we start with you, Kelsey? What did you learn from— Sure.

So this is a super cool story. I love that. I really love that it wasn't intended to be a business at first. Like it was just, you know, trying to serve himself in a way and his friends in a similar situation. But because of that, I think it led to this beautiful mutually beneficial relationship that has its own built-in quality assurance because of that. And I love that. I feel like it's all aligned, right?

I think so. Hawaiian Lumberjack, did you take any mental notes that you want to share?

Yeah.

Speak closer to your crotch.

Sure. Gotta have strong abs for this.

Yeah.

Really lean into your genitalia. I did what Kelsey said. Just intriguing that it started out as just a personal passion, but but eventually spawned into a business. I was just taking a lot of mental notes because, as, as you know, Mike, I recently showed my car at a Concours d'Elegance in a 30 Under 30 class. Yes, like the first of its kind, because the, the Concours car show scene, I guess you could call it, in the US is very similar to what our guest was saying with the, the golf scene in Australia, how the average attendee is, you know, in their 70s or 60s, and, uh, and there's, there's not much, much youth. And, um, eventually all these people who are, are currently bringing their cars and everything are, are not going to be with us anymore. So what, what does that mean for the, uh, the hobby as a whole? So yeah, I do see in a lot of parallels to my passion for cars and in, uh, trying to focus on getting the youth involved more.

I love that.

Super cool.

Yeah, good observation. Succinctly put too. Wow, amazing. Uh, Jake LeBlanc.

Yeah, I like this because I love golf and, uh, it is— it's very expensive.

It really is.

You buy the clubs and you think, oh, that's it, and then you go play and you're like, what? It's another $80. It's another— and the only way you can really get good at golf is by playing on a golf course, right? You can't get good on the range. You, you can take— but Yeah, that's something. I gotta find a story about it. You know, I think my biggest takeaway is just looking at the bio, I love this. He started it in 2014 with $200 and a Facebook post.

Right, right, it's all that's required.

Yeah, yeah, and just push and push and push.

I like that one, Jacob Blum. I like that he structured a win-win. It's the rise of the middleman. I thought they said the internet was gonna crush the middleman, but now you hear things like Uber. That's coordinating the customer, connecting them with the driver, and they're serving that middle center part. That's what Future Golf is doing. I thought that's really cool that there's so many middleman win-win opportunities. Here's the story I wanted to share. So I live near a road called Split Rock in Boonton, New Jersey. You gotta Google this. There was a woman, I don't recall her name, of affluence, I think last name was Johansen, tried to join the Rockaway River Country Club. That's also in Boonton Township, which is even today a men's only club. They will not accept women., and she, um, petitioned to become a member and they declined her, so she built her own golf course. So you can Google, um, Split Rock Road, Boonton, and kind of navigate along it, and there's a 9-hole golf course that's privately owned.

Sorry, are you the biggest— I'm sorry, I keep going.

I mean, just a total jerk. You're unfriendly, you're not kind. I'm sorry, you're bitter. You are bitter. Can I finish the story, or do you want to interrupt me again? Please, please. You are a filthy, inappropriate, aggressive, inconsiderate—

When was the last time you were on the golf course?

All of you. I went golfing, um, about a week ago.

You know what though, I was gonna say the reason why, like, that it pains me with how expensive it is because It was 2 years ago. I bought this really beautiful set of golf clubs. I mean, amazing golf, like stainless steel, like perfect. And the first time that I swung and I hit a rock, oh, like my heart sank. And I was just like, the rest of the day I couldn't play well because I was like, do you damage it severely? It put a little nick in it, but I mean, when they're perfect, yeah.

So the, the, just to finalize that story of Split Rock Road, so I don't think she allows men on the course. That the cute thing. But I couldn't get that point because you were too— I'm too aggressive. You're salt. You're kidding. When you were reading the bio, everything—

it's not like you let that go. You bring it up every time.

I know, it's true. I'm actually worse than you. I'm worse than you because you just bring up in the spot and it's done. Me, I just keep on attacking it and attacking, and then I deny that I'm attacking it. I'm the filthy one.

I think instead of Melbourne, you said Melbourne.

Is that the way you're supposed to say it though?

Yeah.

Melbourne?

Yes. Really?

Yeah.

Is that for real? Yeah, for reals. Oh, that's awesome. Ollie, is that right?

That is correct. If you're still there. Yeah.

See, I wasn't trying to get you. No, and you're decent about it. See, he said, I think, I think it's said this way, but I want to ask, let's get it, let's validate this. I want to make sure that both of you feel comfortable. That's how you position it.

Next time I make fun of somebody, I'm going to position it that way.

No, you don't.

Do you feel comfortable with me mocking you?

You just attack. All right, now let's play a game. Let's play a game. So, uh, Mike, I just wanted this to be me and you because the others are jerks. So this is a game called Bizarre Jobs. Jeremy, Kelsey, and Hawaiian Lumberjack, you're, you're guessing. Two of these jobs are real, Mike. One of these are fake. Now here's the thing, I wrote the description for each one just so that has a consistent voice to it, but two are legit jobs and one's fake. You gotta guess which one's fake. Okay, so let me read off three jobs. What's called a professional bedwetter. Stop, drop, and wee. Test out different beds to see which offer the greatest protection absorption through our pad system, allowing the offender to sleep comfortably even after an accident. Pays in diapers. Okay, that, that's a joke. It does not pay in diapers. Dry— drying paint watcher. Hey, why don't you watch some paint dry? Ever hear that? Sit and watch paint dry for as long as you can deal with the misery. $12 an hour. That can't be real, or could it? And professional mourner. Oh, the deceased need to know that people are there for them. Isn't that funny? But they're dead, how would they know? Make $50 per dead guy or $75 on dual death events.

These all seem fake.

Yeah, 2 are actually legit. I know, is that crazy? Mike, do you want to be the first? You want to be the last? It's your choice.

We'll save the best for last.

Hold on, speak closer to your balls. I couldn't hear you. That's a good one. What'd you say? Last? Sure. Yeah, okay, it just didn't come through. Okay, all right, that means you're up first, J-Bone. Uh, that was funny. Speak for a professional bedwetter, drying paint watcher, or professional mourner?

All right, drying paint watcher.

Yeah, can't exist, right? That has to be—

yeah, if that's real, something's not right.

Okay, Kelsey, which one do you think is a fake job?

I feel the same thing, but I want to say something different just because— I'll say the professional mourner. That's just so sad.

Yeah, that's pathetically sad. Mike, you can go with Jeremy or Kelsey, or you can go rogue and go on your own and be a bedwetter.

No, you know, I'm— I think I'm gonna go with the mourner as well. Okay. I mean, I could see a valid reason for wanting to pay someone to watch your paint dry because you want to make sure that dust or dirt or something doesn't get in and mess up your paint job.

Oh, like the quality of how it dries.

Of course. You gotta be on top of it.

So, for the first time in the history of the show, I've twice in a row— We're all wrong. All wrong. Two weeks in a row. This has never happened before. I wanna do give this caveat that you did explain, and you started to support, the dry paint watcher is a profession, and that's specifically for the reason to watch for color change and for, um,, you know, dust and particles.

Particles.

So this is a job— there's a job currently available in the UK to watch paint dry on cardboard as a test to see how paint color changes over time and to monitor that. Professional mourners are freaking real.

Have they never heard of a video camera? That's a good point. I mean, that's, that's why they're from the UK.

They're from the UK. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. Professional mourners. You know, I've offended every country. I had someone from Canada. I called Canada our 51st state, and they're like, this is bullshit. Professional mourner. In Southeast Asia, a funeral is successful if it has loud participants, so they judge—

Oh, that makes more sense to me.

So in the tradition of Southeast Asia, the more loud the funeral, the more they're assisting the dead to travel to the afterlife, so professional mourners are hired to cry and weep as loudly as possible.

That makes more— and then you incite competition.

I'd be pretty good at that. Could you imagine it? You try your weeping. No, I loved him so much.

Try it.

No, I laughed. That was— no, you can't laugh. Professional giggler. Yeah, yeah, I guess, I guess you could be a professional giggler if you worked for a teddy bear company where masturbatory people call. Yeah. Oh, you did that? Bedwetter is the fake. Did you know that there is no job for a professional bedwetter? You just do it on your own. Should be. I know. How many people wet their bed? I think— I mean, it's an issue for some people. It's incontinence. There's a word for it.

Kels.

All right, get us out of here.

Get us out of here. Thanks everybody for listening.

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