How to Take YOUR RELATIONSHIP to the Next Level with Rachele Brooke Smith & Emilio Palafox

You don't stop doing things because you get older. You get older because you stop doing things. You stop being a kid. You stop playing.

Like, when was the last time you let yourself have fun, like, on a regular basis? And what does that look like for you? Is that dancing? Is that painting? Is that gardening? Is that hiking? Like, is it rollerblading?

Um, you know, with self or your significant other, which I think is important. I think there are healthy, conscious relationships in their 50s their 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, and 100s, that they're finding love at those times. They're finding the best moments of their life. They're finding— they're creating and being playful as a kid.

Are you ready to boost your longevity and unlock peak performance? Welcome to the Longevity and Lifestyle Podcast. I'm your host, Claudia von Boeselager, longevity and peak performance coach. My wonderful guests today are dear friends Rachel Brooke-Smith and Emilio Palafox, the dynamic duo behind Relationship Renegades. Emilio and Rachel are on a mission to redefine relationships, drawing from their personal journey and insights. With over 30 years of combined experience as certified human potential and heart math coaches and extensive backgrounds in the entertainment industry, they bring a unique perspective to the table. Their passion for bridging the worlds of entertainment Wellness and Relationships is paving the way for a future where healthy relationships, a key component for longevity, are the new standard. I'm so excited to welcome you both on today. Welcome, Emilio and Rachel.

Thank you so much for having us.

Yes, I'm so excited to have you on. And so for everybody listening and watching, um, we're going to discuss a few beautiful things that are very important for longevity and also share a bit about our new project that we're working on together, a new company, Athena Healthspan. So make sure to stay tuned for that as well. But I'd love to start with your unique perspective, which I really love, about how you see relationships as one of the biggest biohacks and longevity secrets that few are talking about. Can you elaborate a bit on that and share what you think?

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

So much to say there.

Yeah. So much to go first.

No.

I'm going to kick it off. Well, You know, to kick it off, right, there's— I'm happy that now more than ever, there's a lot of research and science that is talking about the importance of relationships. I think it's been kind of in the ether, like, yeah, of course, when you're healthy and happy and you have good, strong social support, I feel good, right? Things are happening. But it's nice that the science and data are now there. For instance, there was an 80-year-long Harvard study that revealed that good, healthy, happy relationships were actually the key to longevity, even more important than money. Fame, social class, IQ, etc.

Even genetics.

And genetics. And so, you know, they went— it was the longest human study ever done. You know, they, they followed over time hundreds of people, different generations over time, still doing it. And, you know, it was just— they thought in the very beginning, decade by decade, that it was going to be genetics and other things. And what they found out, that it was time and time again, relationships, relationships, relationships. So it was really great on all the detailed analysis that they were able to study and provide and, and really start to tell people all over the world. Um, because yeah, relationships are everything. The, the quality of our life is based on the quality of our relationships. And of course, it's our mission to help enhance those, to help people know how to create these healthy, happy relationships.

And really, how to, how to, how to, at least for me, it was like a, once I really started understanding this, you know, the science and the data and the research, it was helpful for my brain to make a flip. It was like a flip switch in my brain was like, oh, I've been prioritizing work and achievement and success over relationships. And I wonder why I feel so unfulfilled and unhappy. And when I really started shifting— and also honestly pretty like sick quite often— and when I really started reprioritizing and actually putting relationships before other things, and not just intimate relationships but all relationships, you know, in the study they talked about how it was really all even the little things that you do throughout the day to create those meaningful connections, even with your Uber driver or your cash register or person or or a stranger on the street, even like looking someone in the eye and saying like, hi, how are you doing? You know, that that actually had a physical effect biochemically on both your system as well as theirs, where these warm relationships were one of the best stress regulators that got our bodies out of a state of chronic stress and inflammation and back into a state of peace and ease. And in that state where you feel this harmony in your system, we're actually aging at a way slower state. So that to me was like, okay, I spend so much time, like, I'm just gonna focus more on connecting with humans in front of me that is free most of the time. So anyways, I thought that was pretty cool.

Yeah, no, absolutely love it. And, and the, the study started the year my father was born, so I'm, I'm— it's easy for me to remember, 1938. So they even have participants in their 90s that are still going, which I think is, is really cool as well. And just on your point there, Rachel, I wonder like, yes, you're saying, right, it helps to move into the, like, move away from stress into a more relaxed state and it changes biochemically. But I wonder because of that, being in that better state and feeling connected, does it allow more creativity, intuition? Like, what do you think is happening there that has such a positive impact, maybe above and beyond just the physical?

Yeah. Can I say something?

Yeah.

So I have a really fun story. And so I'm also, We're both in film and TV. I've been acting for most of my adult life, and I have this really funny story of I got flown out to Atlanta and I was like on like the, the shortlist for a massive TV show. And this TV show would have been like a life-changing role, and I was like, it was down to like the last few people, so it was like me against a couple other people, and it was extremely nerve-wracking, stressful, um, and let's just say it didn't go as I had hoped. And especially when you get flown across the country and put up in these fancy hotels and treated all this way, your mind starts to fantasize about how your life's going to change and everything's going to be different. And then when it doesn't happen, it's just like soul crushing. And so I remember getting in my Uber to go back home and I was just, I was so defeated. I was devastated, you know, just in the state of just like, just depression. And I got this idea because previous to this I played a character who was like the Southern Belle character and in this other film called Cold Moon. And so I was like, you know what, that character just made me feel so happy. And I just am in this Uber, I just want to connect with this person and I'm just going to be that version of me that just brings me so much joy. And it was just a way for me to kind of snap out of— Yeah, the Southern Belle character. It was a way for me to kind of snap out of this like, state that I was in, almost like a big pattern interrupt. Um, and, and so the whole time in the Uber ride, I just played Belinda. I played Belinda and I was like, hey, how you doing? Yeah, you know, whatever. And, and for 30 minutes, I just connected with this Uber driver in this fun, playful spirit. And I'm not kidding you, I got out of that Uber and I was like, I'm good, I'm fine, I'm happy. Like, and I felt so much just joy and peace and like like you said, this, you know, you meet those people and you have those meaningful connections. It does feel like this, uh, and I'm fascinated by, especially when you meet like-minded people, that feeling of just like, it's like a spiritual feeling for me, honestly. And it's hard to describe, but it does feel pretty transcendent sometimes.

Yeah, beautiful. Yeah, because I guess it gives you energy, right, when you connect with certain people and you kind of, your vibration increases as well. So yeah, super, super fascinating. Did you want to say something, Emilio?

I mean, I think it just goes back to like tribe mentality. Like I think we're not meant to like live lonely lives and like, you know, in our homes crunching numbers, you know, and I have to work on that because I could become a workaholic just in my house crunching away, working away, you know, and it's this challenge of mine that I'm constantly working through. But, you know, and it's times when I prioritize relationships because I know the importance of them practicing what we preach, of course, what the science and data says. And it's like, wow, of course, of course, you know, I don't want to go to that event. No, I don't want to go and do this and stuff. I have to go into this. But when I do, obviously, it's like, I'm so glad I did. I was able to like— and I end up meeting the person I needed to meet anyways. And I get fueled up by good friends. And it's also like close relationship, these warm relationships. That's another thing that they talked about on the site too, right? It's not just like any types of relationships. Right now, people have relationships that are sucking energy from them rather than giving them energy. And so, of course, there's a big conversation also around on how to create warm relationships that, let's say, set your life on fire and help to fan that flame, to lift, to support, to love you. And those types of relationships, I think, really do fuel you up. And when you're fueled up, full of love, and they're loving and supporting you and seeing you and being present with you and making you feel safe, seen, heard, and loved, and all these things that we talk about in Relationship Renegades, then, like you just said, right, your energy, your vibration is so high that you're magnetic to a lot of things and you feel good. So then you can make more calls and do the things that you want to. So I think sometimes we have it flipped, and I'm the first person to raise my hand on that as well, that it's— these are muscles and I'm working my best to have big muscles there.

I love that. So I guess two points. One is a question that arises, and I'm sure people listening will also like, oh, but I'm so busy with work, or I'm so like, how do you make time for relationships. I can't just go for coffees with my friends all the time, or whatever it might be. So how do you guys decide between saying yes to that social component versus focusing on work and getting the things done towards your goals and what you're working on?

Yeah, that's a great question. Yeah, I mean, what I think there's— I'll, I'll say a little bit. Ping pong. I think there's chapters in life, um, you know, I've had chapters in life where I literally had to have just— it was just I had to say no to a lot of things because I had things that were super important to me that I had to focus on. And then I've also had chapters where I felt super depleted in that area and I've just been like, I have to say yes to— it was like a yes challenge. So I think it's really— there is no one size fits all, just like in longevity. It's really about becoming a personal scientist for yourself and what works best for you at different chapters of life. But I do really think about— we've talked before in different you know, speeches that we give or conferences that we're at about this kind of concept of connection fitness. And just like you go to the gym to build physical muscles, having some sort of regular practice that you put yourself on that works for you and your unique lifestyle, just to kind of check in. I don't know if people listening have seen like the life wheel or like the life pie chart where you can kind of check in with all the different areas of life. I think it's really helpful to even just have that on a wall so you can kind of be looking at it sometimes and really just checking in about like what are small what are all things I could do on a regular basis to create that meaningful connection? Because again, even if you're busy working on things, even if it's like, okay, I know I'm in a chapter where I have to be super laser focused, can I make, can I make 10 minutes for a meaningful phone call where I call up some person I haven't talked to in a while and say, hey, I have 10 minutes, I was thinking about you, I just wanted to tell you that I love you, and let's chat for 10 minutes if you got it? You know, something like that. Or if you're at the grocery store, the Starbucks, or whatever, that you are— probably not the Starbucks, but you know, a healthy spot that are actually connecting with people, humans that are surrounding you and in front of you, um, and checking with yourself of what chapter you're in. And is it time for more of a yes chapter, maybe, because you feel maybe depleted in that area? So I think, yeah.

And I'll just kind of answer that, you know, I think one of my favorite quotes is, life is like the ocean. There's always going to be waves, and the good news is, is that you can learn how to surf. And the reason why I bring that up is because, you know, the waves of entrepreneurship, the waves of financing, the ways of the waves of, of pandemic and, and, and family and, and chaos and all these things. Like, learning how to— I think people have this mentality of like, when I finish this, then I'll do that. When this then comes in place, then I'll do that. And it's never going to be like that, right? Like, oh, once I finish my 100 to-do list, then I'll be good. That thing keeps adding, everything keeps adding. And so I think, you know, this learning to like dance with the chaos and just knowing that, like, hey, you know, so there's that, right? So then the way that I would then do it with that mindset in mind, right, is to me, structure creates freedom. So on the calendar for me, and I can only speak for myself, I have to say, okay, look, Mondays for 2 hours, I've been wanting to do stand-up. That's a creative release that I've been needing to, to have as a creative human, and I'm putting it aside and it's making me on the back burner. Feel a little sad, and, and, and it's just, it's, it's depleting my energy subconsciously. And that's a whole other story. So I'm like, I'm going to do that for me, because when I do that, I'm fueled up. And I know that every time I do, I am, and I could do the rest better, and I could show up better. You know, Wednesdays, I want to go on a hike because I know nature is important. Even though I'm like, I got to drive there, I got to hike, it's like, I could take calls while I'm up there. I can connect to myself so that I'm fueled up again, right? Like, every Fridays, we've dedicated some hours to creating content, but in a comedy sketch because we love to create comedy together. And I think, and then Saturdays is like there needs to be a play component. And I think so that structure creates freedom. But then also in the chaos of life, again, another practice, I want to be able to just move with chaos. Like, hey, while I'm on the hike, of course I could text or this and that. And that's not the— that's not what I want to do. But it's not like, oh my gosh, like I'm over here and I'm not able to put out a fire if need be. It's like, no, like, I can be at different places and enjoying myself because I know— I just wish that we can change the conversation that those things, like Rachel said, if you're going to jump on a phone call, it's not like, oh, I have to jump on a phone call and I don't want to. It's like, you know that this is going to fuel you and you need fuel. Like, we need fuel to do the things we need to. And if we're not taking care of ourselves, then the rest goes to Bleep.

100%. I love that analogy as well. And I think I'm a big fan of also scheduling it too. And I've been at times really good of literally having all the different blocks for all the different things. And I think it's important to renew and recheck in on that too and put in that self-care and that connection time. So I think that that's a really great tool. I know some people are like scheduling, like, oh, that's so like, how can you schedule a connection time or whatever, but you can, right? And you need to because life gets in the way otherwise, I guess, right?

Yeah.

Is there a framework for time for relationships that you'd say is like a good measure that, that you recommend? Like, is it once a day everyone should, you know, connect with somebody? Or like, what is that frequency, um, that you, you guys recommend?

So I think this is really important, and this has been pretty game-changing for me because when we're talking about meaningful connections— yeah, it's very much Because again, just like nutrition and lifestyle, no one size fits all. It's like you really have to be like, what works for me? What feels good? And experiment and try. But I do think when we're talking about meaningful connection, one of the most important connections you'll ever have is the one with yourself. And to make sure and be prioritizing. A lot of times it's hard to schedule with another person or a friend or whatever. Um, but you can always take 5 to 10 minutes. Hopefully you can, otherwise you really don't have a life.

Uh, otherwise you definitely need to.

Yes, you, um, and one of the best tools that I found that has helped me like exponentially in this way is something called morning pages. Really, they can be anytime pages, but they come from a book called Artist's Way that has been one of the most pivotal books in, in my life. Um, and the whole book, uh, has many different tasks and exercises throughout it that's helping everyone understand that anytime we're being— that we're all creators. We're creating our day, we're creating, uh, businesses, we're creating meals, we're creating conversations. It's all creativity. Um, but if we don't ever connect with that inner artist or that, you know, AKA your inner child, um, then we don't have that connection. And that's oftentimes when we feel super depleted or disconnected and things like that. And so with morning pages, it's just literally like a brain dump where you're getting everything out of your head and just onto the paper. They don't make sense. It's complete judgment-free. Like, my morning pages, or any time pages, are wild. Like, wild. But I can't even tell you the connection that I feel with myself from really committing to do those. And from that place of, like, deep meaningful connection, one, a lot of the kind of spinning thoughts that I usually experience just aren't there anymore because I've gotten them out onto the page. And then also I feel very filled up and connected internally with myself, and therefore I have so much more energy and capacity to really be present with other people. And so I think it's super important, if there's one person to really make sure that you're connecting with on a daily basis, it's something with yourself, whether that's a breathwork practice, meditation practice, a journaling practice. Something like that. I just think that is, that is the one thing that it's like game changer. Yeah, for sure.

Can I say one thing on that real quick? Um, given the connection to self, and even just like you said, is there a suggestion or a time limit? One of the things that we're actually about to, to come out with next week is this connection challenge. Um, and, and there's variations of this connection challenge, the one that I like, 'cause Rachel likes a different variation. The variation that I like is this 3-3-3 challenge. And so especially for people that are extremely busy, there's gonna be 3 minutes of movement, 3 minutes of breathwork, and 3 minutes of eye gazing. So this of course is not only with yourself, connection with yourself, but of course your significant other. Of course we deal with a lot of relationships. So the way that it looks like, look, we don't have a lot of time, but we have 3 minutes, 3 minutes, and 3 minutes. So we, you know, we can, you know, in between meetings, we like to do this very first start of the day to kind of really set the tone for the day. But it's again, like we can blast music and kind of dance and have a dance party. I could just do a quick some push-ups and squats, kind of do some qigong, some just shaking it out, jumping up and down. As we know, the issues are in the tissues. A lot of people aren't moving. A lot of people aren't releasing toxins with the lymphatic drainage. They're not jumping up and down and moving, right? They're just sitting, and sitting is the new smoking. And so, and so there's that movement for 3 minutes. Just get it out, right? Get the energy out. And then the second thing, of course, is breathwork. There's all different types of breathwork out there. We like one. It's on YouTube. It's for free. It's called DMT Breathwork Guided Meditation. And there's a variety of stuff that you can do in 3 minutes. They have like 3 alternating breathworks. That's one of the many favorites. And then at the very end, we put some spiritual, some nice relaxing music. We sit together in Indian style, kind of holding each other, and we just look left eye to left eye. That's important. And we just sit there in silence. Left eye is the most receiving eye, and it's just sitting in silence, looking at your partner or looking at your friend in the mirror or yourself in the mirror and just letting whatever happens, be okay. And there's a lot of great information out there on that and, and so much to be said on mental health with that and writing a book about it. And, um, anyway, it, it's just nice to be able to connect with your body, your mind, your heart, each other. Um, and it, for us, it's just one of our favorite things. And so we're actually gonna be doing a challenge next week. But you know, one of those things, if there's like a prescription someone's needing, that could be something cool to try out.

That's really cool. I love that. And even with self, as you were saying as well, right? Because how rare does one sit with oneself? I mean, we're in the distraction overload environment. And just to also chime in to what you were saying, Rachel, as well, like journaling, I found such a powerful practice I was doing. And I have the morning pages as well, which is beautiful. I was doing the 5-minute journal with, like, you know, just very short, like, bullet points and all the rest of it too. But when you just say, like, even if you do half a page and it tends to be longer, it really gets everything out of the mind. But you're connecting, you're listening to you, right? You're listening to yourself. And we're all about distraction otherwise, and, you know, external stimulus. But we need to be able to sit with ourselves too. So I really, really like that you guys emphasize that number one, start with self, and like, you know, be really working on you, because then you can give from the overflow, right, of the cup versus giving from empty.

100%. And so much of that challenge too, I think something that we're really passionate about helping people think about, question how they operate is this concept of play. Like, play and wonderment and curiosity. And, yeah, you know, I just think it's very underrated in our society, this concept of like how, you know, when we're— when we come into this world, we are— all we want to do is play and create and, and explore and question things. Um, and then you know, you see it time and time again as people get older, they just lose that part of themselves, and, and rightfully so. Like, our world is wild and life gets rough sometimes, and we get like beaten down and have lots of crazy experiences that maybe shade us or block us from being able to access that part of us. But the more that we in our own life, as well as with our community, our clients, have helped them discover and, and heal and also, like, unleash that part of themselves, man, it's so powerful. Because we're— when we have this one life, tomorrow is not promised. And most of us are working so hard to achieve these things, and we're forgetting to actually enjoy the experience of life. And again, when you really understand, hey, I'm spending all this money on anti-aging supplements and whatnot, but I'm never allowing myself to live in this state of play and fun, where when I do that, especially in connection with other humans, it's like one of the best anti-aging supplements that you could get. But we're so wired to think that it needs to be a pill or technology or something. And so just inviting people to really— when was the last time you let yourself have fun on a regular basis? And what does that look like for you? Is that dancing? Is that painting? Is that gardening? Is that hiking? Is it rollerblading?

With self or your significant other, which I think is important. I think friends or friends and, you know, going back to science and the research on this stuff, right, the people that had relationships that they were satisfied in, in their marriages, let's say at age 50, were the ones that were healthier at age 80.

Right.

And people who are 80-plus, right, the ones that were, you know, happy happy with their relationships at age 80, the days that they had physical pain, their moods didn't alter is what they found out, right? And the people that were not happy in their relationships at age 80, they would suffer both the physical pain and the emotional pain. And by having these close relationships, right, it's not just like, oh, you know, for all the reasons we mentioned, but going back to the science and what they've studied over the longest human study ever done was it really helped with mental deterioration over time. It delayed the mental and physical decline. That it's not just like, oh, great friendships are great. It's like to self-significant friendships, like they're doing things to protect our mental health, to protect our brain, to protect all the different things we have in their body, all the various systems in the body. And, you know, we're big believers on not just in relationships, not attacking the symptoms. You know, let's say it's really going to the root cause because a lot of times just point blank, if we don't take care of our childhood traumas, they're going to show up in all of our relationships over and over and over again. And you're going to keep having to repeat the same test. And until you pass the test, then you can kind of excel or ascend to the next level. But we're really about going to the root cause, ripping out the roots that didn't serve us anymore and pouring back all the love, all the resources, all the things physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, all these things that were needed as humans spiritually as well. But I think there's something to be said there. A lot of times in relationships, people can do things at a very surface level and yet they work for a little bit of time, but there's still some things underneath that are not getting addressed. And if they don't get addressed, they're just going to keep showing up. Just the same thing with fixing the root cause of an illness.

100%. And I'd love to dig into that because I think it's so fundamentally important for all things in relationships and in general with health. A lot of it is, I believe, physical symptoms are actually, if you look at what emotionally is going on as well, there is a lot of correlation. So what are some modalities you've seen, tried, seen other people use and that you recommend for, A, I guess, generating the awareness that there is maybe trauma? Because some people are so like, oh no, everything is fine. Like the house is burning behind, but no, everything's fine. So one is the awareness and then two is working through that somewhat uncomfortable trauma in order to move up to that next level to pass the test, as you were saying.

Oh yeah, I have, I have some things I'd love to kick this off with. Um, I mean, first and foremost, I, I— this just came to me, um, because I'm really fascinated by any time we're in judgment, especially a strong judgment about anything. Um, and just humans in general, like, we're always making judgments or assumptions or stories about anything and everything. It's just part of how we're wired. But I would say if you're like, oh, everything's fine, um, I'm good, but you're stuck in a lot of judgments all the time, I think that's a huge indicator that like, hey, something is going on. Because if— well, I'll just say this, I'm very aware that when I'm looking at other women and I'm very critical of maybe how they look or how they are, I know that's a direct part of me. Like, that's a direct reflection of me, that something inside of me is not healed yet or needs a little bit more love because maybe I worked on it for a while but I need to go back to it. Especially in the world that we live in that is so about physical and beauty and all that kind of stuff. And especially for me growing up in a home where it really was about a lot of like physical appearance. And so anyways, I kind of share that story of I, anytime I'm in a lot of judgment about anything, I'm like, oh, okay, there's a, like, it's like a, uh, or, or even like heightened emotion. If you're super angry about something or sad about something, it's just emotions are indicators. It's like when your oil or your oil light or your gas light goes off in your car. I think a lot of people fear emotions. They don't feel very good, especially uncomfortable emotions. But I'd love to invite people to just think about it as those indicators. And if your, if your gas light never went off and you're driving and you all of a sudden your car just stopped and you had no idea what's going on, you'd be pissed. You'd be like, what, what? Like, that's the same thing that's going on in our body when we have these emotional indicators. So I think that's kind of two judgments and emotions. And then I think what's been really powerful for me and a lot of people I've shared this with is especially in the longevity biohacking communities. I think most of us know how great cold plunges can be for all different kinds of longevity reasons. Whenever you get triggered, think about a trigger as you're just— if you lean into, if you choose to lean into that trigger and really unpack it and try and learn from it and heal from it. It's just like, uh, jumping into a cold plunge. In a cold plunge, you are uncomfortable. Like, it sucks for a minute. It does not feel good. But if you could stay in it for that, you know, 3 minutes or whatever your goal is, you get out and you have this like blissful high for hours after. Um, and most of the time, I— at least in my life, my, my whole day feels a lot— my mood is just better. So I see triggers as this like emotional cold plunge to get into. And so whenever I feel it, whenever I feel like, oh, this trigger, I don't want to deal with, I just want to push it away, I want to suppress it, I'm like, no, I know that if I feel it, allow it, like if I'm in it and I'm like journaling about it, or I'm questioning it, or I'm going through whatever process works for you. But that first step is to jump in, because the immediate reaction is to either run away or to not handle it. And so to jump in and to know that if you just jump in, and really seek to understand, which is one of our main themes at Relationship Renegades, that, uh, it will always lead to this blissful connection, like, on a whole nother level that maybe you never even experienced before.

And, and that's kind of one of our big themes too, is triggers. Um, and we see triggers as gifts, as Rachel would say, wrapped in really ugly wrapping paper. But there are some of the best things that— because that's, that's the start of it. We're constantly getting triggered on a daily basis, whether it be consciously or subconsciously. And a lot of times it's just subconscious in the background. You know, given that we're on this podcast, right, according to the Academy of Brain-Based Leadership, you know, we process information two different ways, right? Our conscious and unconscious mind. And, you know, according to them, our brains process 11 million bits of information per second. And out of that 11 million bits of information per second, our non-conscious mind, our subconscious processes— I'm sorry, our conscious mind out of that processes only 40 bits. That's it, right? Like, the rest is the subconscious mind. So we're constantly in this fight or flight. We're constantly in emergency mode, and we're constantly getting triggered whether we know it or not. And I'd love to really bring in— we've talked about energies and frequencies here and really bringing that to light even more here, especially with this analogy. Because the first thing is awareness, right? And then we can drop deeper. So have you played around with tuning forks, Claudia von Boeselager?

Um, have I? I've come across them. I haven't like really extensively, but I know, um, a little bit. Like I've had friends that were using them a bit, but maybe you can share.

Well, for those that haven't played around with tuning forks that are listening or don't know what tuning forks are, they look like a little metal fork. And when you strike them, there's a resonance that comes about. There's a frequency that emits, and there's so many different frequencies, therefore a lot of different tuning forks. Now, the reason why I bring this up is that if you imagine, for those listening, a filing cabinet inside your body for a moment, and anytime that you had a traumatic event, anytime you didn't feel safe, seen, heard, or loved, anytime that you had the perception of a loss of control in your life, any of these moments Just picture you acquiring a tuning fork. Maybe there was a time that I didn't feel good enough. Tuning fork. Maybe there's a time where I didn't feel like I had enough. Tuning fork, right? And so imagine over since you were a kid to present day, you have all these tuning forks in that filing cabinet that is inside you. Now, why am I bringing this up? Well, you know, we're a relationship renegades, right? So in my past relationships that I had that were very toxic, both for myself and that other person, because it takes two to tango. There were times where we got in extreme fights all the time. And to just make a long story short, I had a tuning fork that I wasn't good enough. It's a very universal ego-centered mindset. And my other significant partner at the time also had one. I didn't know this at the time. It's in the background. And I might have said something like, hey, babe, I just got a promotion and this and that. And, and during this relationship, I was paying for a lot of the stuff. I was doing a lot of things for the relationship. And I didn't know that she didn't feel good enough at the time. But I would say, I did this, I'm doing this. And I wanted to share that because I'm doing this for the relationship. Like, babe, we get to do this. And it was something good for it. She didn't see it like that. Subconsciously, she'd be like, so? I'm like, what? It was shocking to me. You're not happy? Like, what is going on? And then the, the fight, that this fight started, right? And the reason I'm bringing up just a simple example is, well, when I said that, it triggered her, I'm not good enough, by tuning fork. So that tuning fork is vibrating. Because that tuning fork is vibrating, it— I have that tuning fork as well, so mine is starting to vibrate. And so all of a sudden we have what's called the law of resonance. So we both have that tuning fork. And so those who haven't play around with tuning forks. If I have tuning forks A, B, and C in this room, and in the other room there's tuning forks A, B, and C in that room, if I strike tuning fork A right here and it's vibrating and everyone can see it, automatically, just in the relationship example, tuning fork A is vibrating in that room. No one's touching it, just automatically started. And so we have these things going on within us all the time. And the beautiful part though is that when you do the work, when you go to the root cause like we were talking about, that healing is like removing a tuning fork. And so when that thing, when that situation, that exact same situation happens, let's say in the future, and I no longer have that tuning fork, it doesn't resonate. And I'm like, I'm good right now. And then I have a higher plane of view where I'm like, maybe see compassion and empathy for this person because this person is trying to hurt me. And hurt people hurt people, something may be going on there. Maybe I can send some love. Maybe I can show up in a different way and be the love, hence the shirt. And so anyway, I think awareness is key. And of course, yes, there's a lot of product services, technologies, mindsets, groups that can really help to remove those roots and those tuning forks.

Yeah, beautiful. Well, both of what you said there, there's a lot of gold in that too. And so what I've also seen a bit is to see an emotion that comes up. Something that triggers you as, as gold, almost to be grateful for it, because it's like, oh, it's an opportunity for growth. Like, that's something that, like, it shouldn't trigger me. And I spoke to a spiritual teacher once who was like, you know, it should— things should essentially be almost like water off a duck's back. Like, they shouldn't bother you. You should just be like, oh, that person's not having a good day, or whatever it is as well. But as soon as that triggers you, it's like, oh, I've got work to do. Yeah, totally. Get that journal out again and be like, let me work through this.

Plunge.

Jump in.

And I love the analogy of the cold plunge as well. Yeah. And just so you know, to have some science behind it as well, there's a dopamine effect that happens from the cold plunge of up to 500% higher than a normal dopamine response over a prolonged period of time. So, I mean, that's that euphoria, right? And for people with ADHD and things like that that have the dopamine triggers, like, Just keeps you up and gets you up and keeps you up there for much longer.

So helpful. Yeah, that, that science is also— it's like more stronger levels than even like a cocaine, you know, if you were to do cocaine, but instead of going high and then crashing, it would stay high and it stays high for quite a bit of time.

Yeah, for longer though.

Yeah, it's really cool. And side note on that, um, the trigger sketch we have, if anybody wants to be entertained, we have a really funny comedy sketch that we we do, as we're always trying to create edutainment to teach these principles in relationships but do it in a really fun way. And so, you know, in our keynote speech online, um, and we're just on social media, we do these little comedy sketches, and Emilio plays my trigger translator. And so he plays a character called Pablo.

It's a very Latin lover.

I love it. We'll have to link it in the show notes.

So if you guys share the link and then remember your training, make sure Because I don't. We don't remember our training, quote unquote, in the moment. Because again, when we get triggered, there is a rush of adrenaline that floods through our whole body. And whenever you do feel triggered, just remember also that you are blind, deaf, and dumb. And so I just remind myself of that when you're, you know, if you start yelling at each other and whatnot, and you're like, why can't we just hear each other? And this is getting silly. Like, it doesn't even make any sense what's happening right now. And that part of you knows it. But if you continue to just like fire to fire. Just know that it's coming from this place of you cannot hear each other. You really can't see the actuality of what's going on. You're only in your story, your reality, and you really, you can't. It's just blind, deaf, and dumb. And so, you know, figuring out what works for you in any given situation and learning how to communicate your needs and your boundaries in those spaces is So important. For example, I've learned that most of the time I need some space. Like, when I feel that rush of adrenaline emotion, I need to go on a walk or hit a bag or go dance my face off for a minute just to get that stuff out. And it usually takes about 20 minutes. And then after about 20 minutes, that rush of adrenaline usually dissipates. And so a lot of times I ask for— if it's getting super heated, I know I'm like, I'm— we're not able to navigate it in that space, I, I say, hey, I communicate that. But the hard thing is a lot of people, like, they'll just, like, run away, and then the other person is like, oh, they don't care. But then they create more stories of, like, oh, they don't care about me, like, this is, you know, whatever, dumb.

And they're leaving again.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah.

Abandonment issues come up and all that stuff. And so I think also physical touch and eye contact is also pretty important for a lot of different reasons. But if you can, like, go up to the person, depending on how, you know, this is intimate or not, or, you know, kind of things. But being able to, like, in a very— like, take a deep breath and communicate what you might need in that moment. And it could look like, hey, I feel super triggered right now, and I realize that I'm, I'm not acting from the best version of myself. So, like, I need to take some space, and then I would love to come back and revisit this, you know, as soon as we both feel ready. Something like that is game changer.

And I think also just in the communication, I think what really has helped a lot of our clients over time, and of course ourselves for sure, as we continue to grow through life together and work on things together, because, you know, we're students for life, we'll continue to empty the cup and have a beginner's mind so that we can show up better for ourselves and our families, is this, you know, we know that both of us have, and this is Richard Rohr's literature, but, uh, this true self, higher self, and, and false self, ego self, um, people within us. And so Rachel knows my true higher self, who I really am, and I the same with Rachel. But we know that we both have ego false selves. And so when there is a trigger happening or there's something that's about to come into an argument Because of the work, you can spot it faster, become aware of it, and communicate. And the way that we communicate is this. I can say something like, babe, my false ego self right now is like really activated right now. Like, I want to take it away from me. So I'll even visually present like something in front of me visually, and I'll say like the story, like I'm creating a story about X, Y, and Z. And because of that story, like my ego wants to stick to that story and there's these thoughts, feelings, emotions arising from that story. And I get to take it out here to like, not only for me to observe it and talk about it, but for her to talk because it's not us. I'm like taking it outside of me because it's not us. And I'm like, my ego self is feeling this and it's this and it's creating these stories because that's all it ever is. And she can— because we're not mind readers. And I think sometimes we can think that we're mind readers. And I'm like, I always, even though I think she knows what's going on, I don't assume that. I'm saying, this is what's going on in me. Isn't that crazy? She's like, yeah, that is kind of crazy. I didn't know that you were thinking that. Right. We're able to kind of look at it and play around with this mold over here of a story. And also we have a game that we play. We try to really trick the ego. This false self. And the way that we trick it, because the ego wants to win, right? The win.

Yeah, you're right. I'm always right.

That in a beautiful way, and it works, I would say, 9 times out of 10, is, um, it's just owning your stuff. And, and the fastest— whoever can own their stuff the fastest, uh, wins. And so I'm like, say she's about to go out. I'm like, oh, it's like, you know, at first maybe it started off for an hour or maybe hours, then it turns into minutes, then it turns into seconds because you get better and better about this. Everything's a muscle. But, you know, let's say I'm like, oh, okay, babe. Oh, okay. You know what? I'm sorry. I was being passive aggressive back there. I don't know if you noticed, but I was like, I just, I'm just going through a storm right now and I just like, I just didn't want to talk about it or You know, like, I did that thing. Yes, I said it. You know? Yes, I was thinking that. I actually was, you know? And it sucks that I did that. But, you know, and then of course, immediately, you know, like, immediately it's like walls down. And she's like, I can't believe you just said that. Like, you're so amazing. I love you so much. Like, thank you for really seeing my side. Because I really do want to see her side. And vice versa, what she would do for me. But it's kind of an interesting ego play trick there because I won in the game, but I really won in our relationship. Our relationship. And it's just this kind of beautiful— and when one rises up, the other one comes up. And so we just really try to practice that. And again, these are things that are hitting the core of stuff. And of course, there's deeper and deeper levels. Obviously, if there's really something going on and we can see if we need to do that by ourselves, together, in a group, with friends, with a professional, etc. But I think, you know, on the day-to-day, there's ways to communicate, there's ways to play games, being back to that playful energy. Anyway, I couldn't— I felt like I needed to share that.

Yeah. No, beautiful tools. And thank you so much for sharing. And I guess the word vulnerability kind of came in when you kind of own it, right? And it's fun to make it like a game. Like, yeah, how can I—

Why not, right?

I can't tell you how powerful it is. Like, it is wild. When you're in a heated conversation with someone, and if you step away, or even in the moment, whatever, when you get— when either party owns their stuff, like it— like when he said it just all of a sudden, this, this, all this energy just like dissipates, and you feel this connection. Like every time, whenever he does that, I'm always like, I, I literally feel like I just fell in love with you all over again, because it's this deep feeling of, you know, at the core of everything, we want to feel safe, seen, heard, and loved. And most of the time, we're so badly wanting to be understood by other people. Why doesn't he just understand me? Why can't they just understand me? But the whole concept, you know, it's like be the love or be the change you want to see. The real thing is that you have to— if you want to be understood, first try to understand. And so when you really try to understand, you own that all of a sudden the other person just feels like, wow, they really understood me. Okay, I really want to understand them now. And it's just, it's reciprocal, pretty magical. Yeah, yeah, it's hard, it's hard, but it gets better.

Yeah, like the muscle, like the muscle gets stronger, it does get stronger, and you can cut it quicker. Like, you can. And, and I think that's a big part of Relationship Renegades, is that we're renegades for a reason. We're rebelling against the societal norm, right? We're rebelling against what people think about relationships. We're rebelling about what people think about but marriages were kids, right? There's just a story in the collective consciousness that, oh yeah, marriage equals XYZ. Oh yeah, you got kids, you can't travel. No. Oh, you know, there's just about everything. And I think like, why can't we really excel to the next level? Whereas beginning when people said we're going to fly in the sky all over the world, that's impossible. Well, it's possible. Hey, we're gonna, you know, go to the moon, we're gonna go to Mars, we're gonna have this computer to talk all over the world, that's impossible. What's impossible in relationships right now in people listening's mindsets? Like, what do you think relationships right now? Are they hard? Are they, you know, you're never going to find the one? Like, what is the story that you have in your minds right now? And how can we shift that? Because there's another portal, there's another dimension that exists. And there are healthy, conscious relationships in their 50s, their 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 100s, that they're finding love at those times. They're finding the best moments of their life. They're finding— they're creating and being playful as a kid. And, you know, I'll end with, you know, they— there's this thing that we love, this quote, right? It's like, you don't stop doing things because you get older. You get older because you stop doing things. You stop being a kid. You stop playing. Like, they're— you know, it's— I, I can't share that enough. So I just— I, I think, um, it's important Um, all of that's important. I just wanted to share.

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100%. I think we, we use something we just call code words. You can call whatever you want, but I do think it's important to, in any relationship, if you start to know how— what works for you or doesn't work for you, having those, like, if it was like, okay, this is happening, code red. Because if you have the conversation ahead of time and you're like— I'm trying to think of something for me. If I'm communicating like, hey, I really don't do well this situation, or this happens, this is what I feel like in situation X. Then rather than having to go through the whole conversation again, having those little code words that you can say to each other where you get it instantaneously, especially with busy lives, I think that's super helpful. And so kind of having those different code words is really special. I definitely think that we do have an online program that we worked on for a long, long time that we go through a bunch of different modules and tools and, and different tips, tricks, and, and resources for people, which I think is really, really like kind of like our playbook. Um, this is on our website and you can, you can find it.

Um, yeah, it's called the Higher Love. Yeah, it's called the Higher Love program. And, um, yeah, we've heard, we've had so many great testimonials on that that we're really grateful for. One of the things that I talk about there that I'm all about practical tips, like something that someone's driving in their car at the end of this podcast, they can like walk outside of their car, go to their meeting, they get triggered, they know what to do, creating that greater awareness on how to communicate with friends, business, whoever it may be. And so it's a 3-step quick practical tool. Beautiful. When— let's go back to triggers, because if you get triggered in a relationship or whatever it was, Juan Pablo, my trigger translator himself, talks to Rachel, talks about this training she needs to have. And the first one is to smile. First step is to smile. Why are we smiling? Because it's the easiest and quickest thing to do if you're driving or wherever you're at, right? Regardless if it's fake or whatever, it's a pattern interrupt. Whatever story's going on in your mind, whatever trigger's happening, whatever the situation, the quickest pattern interrupt is to smile. And there's a lot of biological and neurological things that happen when you're smiling over time, kind of tricking the body a little bit, but pattern interrupt most importantly. And there's a lot more, but I'll leave it there. So that's the first step. Second step is internally, or if you're by yourself, you can say this out loud, is there's me doing it again. And the more specific, the better, right? Like, there's me reacting again. There's me being passive aggressive. There's me not wanting to understand another person. There's me judging this person. In front of me, whatever it may be. And it's not that you're judging yourself by saying this, it's just, this is getting yourself in observer mode. You're taking the situation outside and these are the reps. Oh, there's me doing it. Oh, there's me doing it. Look at myself. Wow. Interesting. Now the smile is also about loving kindness as well, because you don't want to beat yourself up when you're, you know, going through these things. That's the worst thing you can do. It's a downward spiral. So smiling is really also giving yourself loving kindness for the journey of healing and growing. So you're smiling, quick smile. There's me doing it again. More specific, the better. Then the third is to welcome whatever emotions that are happening inside of us, right? As humans, the number one human impediment is that we live in the head, in our heads, with stories in the past, which is depression, in the future, which is anxiety, never in the present moment, right? We know that more than ever now. And so if we create a story and what humans do is we fuse to that story. Yep. Yeah. No, no, no. This is what's happening. I know it. Oh, I know it. That's me. Yeah. This is exactly what's happening.

What?

So we fuse to that story. Emotions arise from that story. And the next thing you know, we've created our own suffering. Again, us, we did that. Man in the mirror, woman in the mirror. Right. And so By identifying like, man, I am so angry right now. But the key here is that most of us will hide, suppress, deny, distract ourselves from the emotions. We don't want to feel it. The beautiful part is, is that when you welcome it, as Juan Pablo would say, you know, you go to the door of, let's say, anger. You're like, anger, come on in. Welcome, welcome to the party. You want a cup of coffee with some mushrooms and some oil in there? Come on and sit down. I'm glad you're here. Like, we're being like, emotion anger, let's say, I'm glad you're here. Because it's not good or bad, it's just data. It's just energy. And when you're just sitting with it, like, hey, I'm glad you're here, man. You know, like, I honor and respect you. I love you, man. And you'll know that anger doesn't want to be there anymore because you're like, you want him out of here. It's like, nah, I don't want to be here anymore. And it will dissipate. He will go away. And when you sit through it, the storm will pass like all storms do. And then you're able to breathe and reset and continue. So smile. There's me doing it again. And welcome whatever emotion, because it's just data. It's just energy. And then you can become more and more an optimal being for yourself and others.

And I like to add like a bonus step. I really think it's powerful to talk to that emotion and say like, what are you trying to teach me? Because all emotions, like you said, are just data. They're there to to show us something. And if we don't, uh, and even when you're, you know, if you, if you can, whether it's just asking in your head or I think journaling about it is so powerful. Um, but yeah, what are you trying to teach me? And oftentimes, especially if you let yourself just like free write about it, you'll find some stuff that you're like, what? Like, where did that come from? I had no idea that that was even there. And it usually goes back to something when you were like 6 or 8 years old, you know? Um, so yeah, there's just so much stuff that's so— all those tuning forks are so covered up and layered down. And it's just, it's so empowering though, because I think oftentimes we give away our power when we step into kind of this victim mentality, and it's so easy to do so. But when you really start playing with some of these tools and you realize how, man, it's just It's so empowering. Like, we each have the power to change, change the story. And when you talked about like, how do you cultivate that belief? How do you— if you have these very strong stories about what's possible for you or not possible for you, I'm really big— I actually did, um, a video talking about like the 5 ways to cultivate belief. Because whether it's in real— whether your belief's about relationships or, or career or dream or whatever, um, it all comes down to what you believe, who you believe you are, what you believe you're capable of, what you believe you're worthy of, and why. And so I'm always empowering people to question your beliefs about any of those questions. Like, what are your answers to those questions? And if you find that you're like, well, it's never going to happen for me, and I'm not as lucky as them, or I'm not as pretty or talented or whatever, really, like, really dig into why you think that. Where did that come from? Oftentimes those beliefs aren't even our own. There are beliefs that got kind of down to us from parents, teachers, friends, from their own doubts and fears. And so I think really questioning those beliefs and then also filling your mind with other stories about how other people have done it against all odds, because there are those stories out there. And we live in this amazing time when literally you Google search anything and you can find a bunch of stories or videos or data about anything, which never used to be possible. Before. So it's pretty amazing. But oftentimes we're not intentional about what we're, what we're really searching for. And so when you're in those states of doubt or defeat, um, and you're starting to try and question those stories that you believe about what you're capable of or not, you can fill your mind with other people's stories. I mean, I think that's why I love movies so much. Movies and those kinds of stories or books, you know, are— can be so life-changing. Um, and I just know different times when I felt so defeated because something didn't happen that I really wanted to happen. And then I watched a movie or I watched several YouTube videos of talking about how, you know, they didn't get the— they didn't get the funding they wanted, or they didn't get the relationship they thought that they wanted, or they went through a terrible divorce or whatever. But then through kind of stepping into the hero of their own story, they were able to find their absolute, like, love of their life at, you know, 10 years later or whatever, or they got the billion-dollar business 20 years later. You know, it's just this— there is a constant pattern of people who do continue to believe regardless of circumstance, who continue to just, just decide, like, this is— I have these dreams and desires in me for a reason. And one of my favorite quotes is that as we move towards our dreams, we move towards our divinity. And I think the more we constantly— it's just our brains are supercomputers. We— the— whatever we fill it with, it will start to— it'll start to kind of create that reality around. So be very intentional about the stories you're listening to, the things you're watching, the music that you're listening to, the people you're surrounding yourself with, because it will all create this, this reality, uh, and either which way, for kind of disempowerment or for like crazy expansion.

Activates the reticular activating system, right, in the brain. And what we focus on expands. So I love that you said that. It's like, let's focus on that because that will expand and you'll start to see that everywhere.

Yeah, I love that. And I think it's so important, as you were saying as well, building the muscle, right, with the vision. So the more you say yes to taking steps towards your vision, like, because the bad and the negative is always there, like, no matter what, going away. But either you focus on that and that expands or you're like, no, I choose, right? It's a choice to look at the vision and Okay, this didn't work, but that was part of the step. And then I'm going to focus on the next one and keep going as well. Yes.

The light, right? You know, like, you know, if this room was dark, if you're focusing on expanding your light within you, right? Like, how do you defeat darkness, right? Like, well, you could do it a lot of ways. I can fight and combat against it, or I could just turn on the light switch and then there's no more darkness. Yeah. Right? Like, I think the more that we allow ourselves to shine bright, we allow others to do the same. And I think I love that. Focus on that, right? I think being the light, being the love, really has an energetic ripple effect that is unseen to the eye.

And before we wrap up, because I know we're getting really tight on time, I just, I always want to say that on our journey to even find each other and to create the relationship that we have now, and you know why we're so passionate about Relationship Renegades and putting this into the world, is because we had to go on our own hero's journey. And there were so many times— both of us have wild stories of several different very unhealthy, toxic relationships and several different times in those chapters where we felt extremely defeated and depressed and confused and doubted if it was even possible. I had so many stories from, from people that I loved and loved me that was telling me that I was being too picky. Or that I— there's something wrong with me. And there was a lot, a big part of me that started to wonder if that was true. And a lot of crying myself to sleep and feeling super discouraged. But then in those moments being like, okay, just going back to the basics of like, do I believe this is possible? Has it happened for other people? Yes. And I had one, I think we only need like one or two even role models. And I think that's why we're so passionate about telling these stories and creating Relationship Branding is to create a platform that showcases that it is possible if you keep believing that it's possible. And it's going to look different for everybody. Everybody's journey is so different, but it doesn't mean that you can't create what you feel so called to create in your life on any, on any level. And so, you know, but I had one or two relationships in my life that I felt were just like these really healthy, supportive, playful relationships. And even though I was experiencing the complete opposite because I had a lot of healing to do on my healing, uh, journey, my hero's journey, um, that I didn't know at the time that I needed to heal and stuff like that that was creating all that toxicity, um, but I was like, I want that. Like, I can see that it's possible if they have it. Like, if they can do it, I can do it. And I think it's just that I hope that this empowers people, that if you're watching this and you're in a time where you're like, man, well, that's not gonna happen for me and you guys are just lucky and, and whatever, man, it was like, yeah, most of my life I've been on the other side. Yeah, we were the other people that were crying ourselves to sleep, sometimes super lonely and super defeated and discouraged and, and, and questioned if it was even possible. Um, and I think that, that questioning is, is good, but it's the, it's the reframe of it all that, that really changes things.

So beautiful. And I mean, really, thank you both for, for the work that you're doing in this too, because I feel like more and more society is going towards isolation, so disfractional in terms of what actually cultivating a relationship is. It's not just like a WhatsApp message, a one-liner. Like, how, how is that? And, you know, I tell my kids even, like, the analogy that, like, back in the day, like, you used to write a letter to somebody and, like, say that you're going to come visit them for, like, 5 days or a week and actually spend time being present, having deep conversation. And, like, when is the last time we go out of our way to have that deep conversation unless, you know, we're at a level where we're really focusing on doing that to cultivate much deeper relationships as well. So, you know, this phone thing, this little block that we carry around with us the whole time, like sometimes it's got to get it out of the way and actually be present face to face as well. So I really want to thank you guys for, for that work too. And I would love to do a round 2 at some point because there's so much more that I have a big long list of questions we didn't even get to. But I'd love I'd love to touch on our project and just share with the world, um, around Athena Healthspan, right? And so, um, for those who might have, have heard me mention it once before, um, where the idea came from is that we're at such a beautiful phase in, in, in the world that there's all these advances in science and technology and wearable data that we can really be stepping up into the highest version of ourselves and also through our health as well. But because of the complexity of the data, using technology and AI to bring it all together as well. So with that concept of making it more accessible to more people, Athena Healthspan was formed. And through a beauty of series of events, we've come together also on this platform. So I'd love to hear from you both what excites you, you most about Athena Healthspan and what we're doing.

Oh my gosh, so many things. So many things.

Yeah, I'm going to start.

Okay. Yeah. Well, You know, anything that we do, relationships are important to us, right? So the people that we're working with. And so, like you said, with the series of events and serendipitous moments and conversations and people that were coming together, sort of the Avengers, if you will, to move humanity forward in a healthy way, physically, mentally, emotionally, and also the products and services and techs that we have and really the quality ones, because there's a lot of things out there. There's information overload. What are the, what are the top of the lines that are really moving the needle? What are the ones that are really getting us results? And coming together as Avengers to really help that out. So first and foremost, I love the people that are a part of this. Obviously technology is a big thing and being able to work with the right people that are advancing in the AI software solution to help these longevity clinics, especially because there's such a huge burnout rate statistic there. And we want to democratize, you know, health and longevity, being able to have people be a part of this and meet them where they're at. And I think if you can have a technology that is putting everything together on a dashboard where the clinicians and the patients can see in real time, whether it's through their wearables, the tests that they've done, the, you know, the different products and services and techs that they're doing with the longevity clinics, just to be able to see and track your health and your healthspan, I think is so important and to be working with the right people. So I think any time that we have technology that can obviously summarize that in an efficient and effective way for both parties to be able to communicate better together and to be able to see the results quicker, to be able to, you know, a lot of these clinicians, right, they're seeing so much data. There's different doctors talking to each other. And no one's in the same sandbox together. And I love that this is kind of like we're all in the same sandbox and in a 360 way can kind of see everything at one point, both on the, you know, the patient side and the clinician side. So when I saw this, it was an immediate yes, especially with the people and how this is just a perfect storm happening right now in the world where I think people need this more than ever.

Yeah. 100%. And for me, it hit on some really big pain to purpose experiences in my life because I, first of all, when we met you, I was like, game over. Like, soul sister. We have to create magic in the world together. And but secondly, you know, I grew up with a really bad gut health issue that nobody could figure out. And I even, my family's in medicine. And they kind of saw how standard medicine couldn't help me. And I went to so many different specialists and doctors and tests and spent so much money and time and frustration and couldn't figure it out. And it wasn't until I finally, for the first time, got to work with a functional medicine doctor and then finally got to figure out some stuff that was going on within my system. But it was the first time when I was like, oh wait, all my stuff is so— everything is so connected to everything.. And, you know, your, my, your mental or your, the brain health doctor isn't talking to the gut health doctor and isn't talking to the, the nutritionist that isn't talking to the fitness trainer. And yet, and so when we go to these different doctors, they only know one piece of us, but they're not understanding the other side that might be really affecting in this 360 way. So with Athena Healthspan being able to one, help people in that way so much. So if someone is struggling with something and they can't seem to figure it out, and they're having to go to all these different places and, and specialists and stuff like that, this puts everything into one thing for them so that they can really understand what's going on in their system in a very holistic 360 way. And that just got me so excited because I just feel for anyone out there, and even though technology has so much and, you know, functional medicine is way more popular now and, and, and, uh, it's a lot easier now than I think it was when I was going through my stuff. It still is very fragmented and it's still extremely confusing and people don't know where to go, who to trust. And I really believe that with Athena we can really change that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I just wanted to add too, because we just coming full circle to, you know, talking about the root cause of things and meeting people where they're at. There's an analogy that I love. You know, if your tree that you had at the house was dying, how would you, you know, help that tree to being revived again? How would you try, you know, help it grow? And, and I love hearing people's responses to it, right? And, and there's a, there's a lot of different pieces that they'll say, right? They'll say, well, maybe I'll change the quality of the water. Maybe I'll change the soil. Maybe it needs more sun, maybe it needs less sun. Maybe I need to trim, prune the leaves. Maybe I need to give it some tender loving care, some love, or maybe some photobiomodulation and some pulse electromagnetic fields and whatever it is to grow the plant. And what I'm about to say is not to discount Western medicine because I think Western medicine plays a great role at certain times, right? If I have a broken leg, I'm not going to put essential oils on it. Let's say I'm going to go to the doctor and they're going to do some surgery on my leg. I'm going to be okay. But I think when we talk about prevention, when we think about proactive and going to the root cause of things, not just working on the symptom, I think about it can very much Western medicine be like, and this may sound harsh, but like painting the leaves green, you know, where it's like, you know, I have a tree, it's like, oh, it's dying, it's turning brown. It's like, well, let's just paint the leaves green. It looks great. Look at it. It's great, right? Symptoms brown, green. And it's sad, right? And I think the beautiful part is that we can change the environment of that plant, of the human. And there are great products, services, technologies, mindsets, technologies that can place an individual in the right environment so that at the root cause, whatever needed to be healed got healed. Because our bodies are healing and regeneration factories, but it needs the energy at the cellular level. It needs certain things that Athena and being on the partnership side of things, right, and biohacking for 15+ years, I love that I've been able to see a lot of different things that really move the needle. So when we're working with clinicians and longevity clinics, making sure that all of these are dialed in to really move the human forward, really grow the plant, if you will, that is us in this analogy. And so I'm just super excited because the time is now, the wave is here, and it's great to do something with great people.

Yeah, no, absolutely amazing. And, you know, I really feel as well, like, I mean, we've discussed this, but just to share with the wider audience that everyone should know that it's not inevitable to go down that disease and elderly and, and, you know, even the loneliness aspect too. Like, there are things we can proactively do before it's too late, you know. So more play, more fun, more connection, right? From all the, the beautiful teachings you guys shared as well. And proactive things around our health so that, you know, it's not just to be healthy— healthy to be healthy, right? It's more what does it enable you to do? What does it allow you to do to have deeper, more meaningful connections? Because you're more active, you're out, you're meeting with friends, you're going for the hike like you were sharing, and, and you're doing different things too. And just like, what's that quality of life versus the one that's declining and decreasing, and you're spending all your time talking about doctor's visits and hip is hurting and all the rest of it too? Like, let, let's be in that creation space, right, versus the whole contraction and, and things going downhill. So we're super, super excited and such an honor, um, to have you both as as part of this journey as well with Athena. We're so excited to do it together. And as we finish up today, for, for listeners interested in understanding more about your work with Relationship Renegades and biohacks and around it as well, what online resources would— where would you send them to?

I think the best place where it has like kind of all links to all our links and content and everything like that is just on Instagram at relationship.renegades.

Yeah, all this stuff that we do in a traditional way, whether it's the coaching, the speaking, the events, retreats, online programs, is there. But also this coming soon of the creative model where we're really putting out a lot of conscious media, like a TV show coming up to really teach these powerful principles in a powerful way, but also putting together a lot of these longevity products within that TV show to help really bring those things to light because we need it all. And I do want to say something just because it's important. When you said loneliness, going back to that study full circle, like PBS did a recent survey where, and it was a couple of years ago, so it's actually been even more now and I'm forgetting the most recent one. But PBS a couple of years ago did a thing on loneliness and it was 60% of the United States has said that they're extremely lonely and 18 years and younger it was 80% felt that they were lonely. And the study that did a lot of, of course, in-depth analysis, um, they really talk about how loneliness kills, that it's as powerful as smoking or alcoholism. And they go into great detail. We don't have time to cover all that right now, but how loneliness— like, when you're feeling lonely, like, oh, it's just another day, I'm lonely, it'll be okay. No, it's a serious thing. We need to— we need each other. We're stronger together. We're all walking each other home. And I think, like, let's practice the connection fitness that Rachel talked about, because loneliness is an epidemic now. And I know that, and I'm glad that you just brought it up, like it's not just about all the things that we talked about in Athena, but it's also like this community and this connection that is, that is there for people. And we hope that, uh, you'll join the tribe, right?

So yeah, yeah, that it triggers more so that when you, when you feel that way, just if you were to feel a little sick, you would like, oh, I need to up my N&C, or whatever that looks like when you feel lonely, that it, it triggers a behavior shift in you of like, okay, I'm feeling lonely. Rather than just like sitting in this for, you know, maybe too long, I— what can I do? You know, what's your, what's your thing you're going to decide ahead of time that when you feel that way that you're going to do? Are you going to call a friend? Are you going to go to an event? Are you going to go to a workshop? Are you going to, I don't know, talk to a stranger? Yeah, volunteer, like do something. Which it is really hard in those spaces. I've been there and it's hard to just take that step of action, but jump in the cold plunge, you know, just get in there.

1% better, 1% better.

Yeah. Beautiful. Oh, thank you so much. So do you have any final ask or recommendation or any parting thoughts or message for my audience today?

I'd love to hear from both of you. Yeah, I mean, I would love— we rarely do this, but I just feel inspired to to share it, that if anybody is like, hey, you know, I really am struggling right now and I just want to— I need help, that you can just email us at relationshiprenegades@gmail.com, or you can find that email on our Instagram as well, and just email us, uh, breakthrough, and we'll do— we'll send you an application for just like a free, like free, no strings attached, no like BS, just 30-minute session with us where we we'll just dive deep and see how we can powerfully serve you. Um, so again, just email us Breakthrough, and we'll, we'll send you the link to get a 30-minute free session with us.

That's the most kind and generous.

So 100%. And, and honestly, a lot of people— we've done this on one other podcast— and I think it's a scary thing to ask for help. Um, but I, I, I do know that when we're offering it, we're offering it, and we're here to just help and serve. Um, because we've been there, we know what that feels like, and we really just do want to do anything we can to help someone feel more safe, seen, heard, and loved in their life.

That's beautiful. And just to make a point to that, as a recovering perfectionist where I, uh, really struggle to ask for help, and I'm trying to learn how to do this more, like, it's okay to ask for help. We don't have to be perfect. So yeah, that's a generous offer that you've made.

Um, I love that. Yeah. And I think also too, along with that, it's like where people want to help. We— people really want to help, right? And I think when we say no or don't ask, like, it's, it's almost like blocking a blessing, not only for yourself but for them too. Like, it, it feels good to help people. And I think like it's a beautiful energetic exchange. They're not like a one-sided, like, oh, it's just, he's just helping me. It's like, no, it's this beautiful exchange. Um, one final thought that's coming to my mind, um, You know, I guess I'll just speak to the men out there because there's a lot of men that are extremely lonely that kind of live like— I've done men's work and shadow work for about 15+ years, and there's just a lot of men who don't speak and don't share their feelings, right? And don't— are not courageous enough yet to take the hero's journey to find out what hasn't been healed yet. So in addition to asking for help, I would say Yeah, I think, you know, try to find, you know, like a local men's group or something that, you know, there's so many different types out there that will hold space for you to shed all the things that no longer serve you. If you're in Utah, I have a men's podcast, a men's group that we're helping a lot of men move forward with that. But I think with men, they're going through a lot of things. And if they're not, if you all are not complete, it's hard to show up in relationships. Um, and I think it is a give and receive, you know, sometimes by helping someone you can help yourself, but also there's a flip where you need to help yourself first. And I think in relationships for men, I think sometimes the best thing to do as a final thought is just to like, your partner, your wife is this beautiful divine feminine energy, just like the ocean. It can be very chaotic at times, but in a beautiful way. And if we see and have the perception to see that it is a beautiful ocean, wild and free. And no matter what's happening on a day-to-day basis with your wife, as men, I think the biggest thing that we can do is just to be there as a rock and to breathe and weather the storm, if you will, in a funny analogy, right? Because if Rachel's going through a lot and she's crying and screaming or doing all this kind of stuff, rather than trying to fix it and say, hey, what's wrong? I need to fix something. There's nothing to fix other than just to hold space and give her a hug and hold her and just nothing. Don't say anything, just breathe. Maybe say I love you, but it's just being there. And I think, you know, men's groups and things that I mentioned help to just be a rock and to hold space because there's obviously feelings and emotions that will arise within you when there's a crazy storm happening in the ocean. But I think the biggest thing that men can do for their partners and significant others is just to to be there as a rock, to breathe with them. You can say it's going to be all right, you know, I love you, but do nothing else. Don't say anything, just to like be there in love and to be the love for your partner. I think that's going to go a long way for yourself and your significant other.

Beautiful. Beautifully said as well. You guys are rock stars. Thank you so much for taking the time to coming on today, and thank you everyone for listening as well. Um, thank you so much. This has been so beautiful and so insightful.

Appreciate it.

Thank you so much for having us. Thank you so much.