“Emotional Resilience and Mental Health: Dr. Michelle Maidenberg on Creating a Meaningful Life | ...

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What's up, my good people? Welcome to the CJ Moneyway Show, the podcast that brings you stories behind the success Today we have on the show Dr. Michelle Maytenburg, author, co-founder, and clinical director of Through My Eyes, and a member of the board of directors on a couple of companies I've seen. So how you doing today, Dr. Michelle? Thank you for coming to the show.

Thank you for having me, I appreciate it.

Uh, thank you for taking your time out today and joining us. So tell us a little bit about yourself and about your background.

So yeah, I wear many hats. I do a lot of things that I absolutely love, so I'm very passionate about everything I do. I have a private practice in Westchester County in New York. I also, like you said, I'm a founder of an organization called Through My Eyes, and it's T-H-R-U, and it offers free clinically guided videotaping for chronically medically ill individuals who want to leave a video legacy for their children and loved ones. I am an adjunct faculty at NYU, New York University. And then I also, like you said, I'm on the board of directors of a number of organizations, and I am the author of two books. And my most recent one is called Ace Your Life: Unleash Your Best Self and Live the Life You Want. And it's predicated under acceptance, compassion, and empowerment. That's what ACE stands for. And last two things is I publish a guided meditation every Thursday morning on my YouTube channel. So if anyone's interested in mindfulness and meditative practice, you should definitely take a look at that. And then I also am a Psychology Today blogger. So I try to get articles out at least once a month, and they're all different topics. So I invite people to also take a look at those articles as well.

Mm, very busy woman, very busy woman.

I am.

Yes. A lot of hats. And so, uh, so, so, Dr., tell us, you mentioned the company that you co-founded. So can you share more about your nonprofit organization Through My Eyes? What is the mission behind it?

Yeah, so I started it because I had a friend who was 36 years old and she was dying of breast cancer. She had her second bout of breast cancer and she had a 9-year-old daughter and she used to talk to me, you know, she saw this child as a miracle, because the first time she had cancer, basically, the doctors told her that she could never have children. And then she gave birth to this beautiful daughter. But unfortunately, you know, the cancer came back and returned, which was very sad. And she was in the process of dying. And she consulted with me because she really wanted to do this videotape for her daughter. And what I discovered, which was astonishing to me, is that the hospital that she attended did not have a way for her to do it in the comfort of her own home. She had to pay an egregious amount of money, which I feel like if somebody's going through such a horrible illness, right, they're paying such expenses medically and otherwise that they don't need to incur another expense on top of that. And then also, there wasn't anybody to interview her. She was literally going to be standing, you know, sitting in front of a camera just talking directly into the camera. So for all those reasons, I felt like it would be such a valuable tool, you know, therapeutically to help somebody go through the dying process by having an opportunity of being interviewed, talking about topics they would want. You know, she unfortunately, that's what happened because there wasn't anything kind of at that time. And we ended up chipping in a whole bunch of friends and she ended up talking like directly into a camera. I gave her a script, you know, and I gave her some guidance in terms of what she might want to be talking about. Developmentally what her daughter was going through. But yeah, so I developed this and we did over 300 videotapes so far. And it's been such an incredible experience. Now, unfortunately, I'm looking to actually revamp the entire program, because I really want it to be more vast. It was only offered like locally, and we would go to people's homes. But there isn't a lot of feasibility to really offer it to people who need it. So I really want to offer it more on a national level across the country. And I have had the opportunity because of COVID which was great, you know, to go online. You know, for example, I videotaped this woman who, you know, was dying of cancer, and she has 7 children, and she didn't even have access to the internet. She lived in a very rural area, you know, so in terms of socio— her socioeconomic status, obviously, she did, she really did not have, you know, feasibility and finances. So I offered it to her for free. And she had to go to her doctor's office in order to videotape because she had no accessibility both to technology or internet access, which is amazing. And that's the kind of people I want to, I want to be able to reach out to.

You know, like with your story that you tell, one thing that I found amazing with a lot of people that I have interviewed, regardless of you guys' success and where you are in life and where life has taken you. It's the service that you guys are willing to do for others, you know, putting yourself aside and putting others before you. And I really truly believe that that's amazing. And that shows the character and integrity of a person.

Well, it's such an injustice. Like, it almost makes me well up in tears, like, honestly, because, you know, unfortunately, a lot of people who have it don't even notice they have it and don't really even have gratitude for it. You know, it's like it becomes so second nature. And we don't value things that we have because, you know, right, we're kind of— it's so familiar and we're so used to it. But, you know, there are so many people out there which we don't even realize in this country that really need help and they don't have access to any resources or support. And it's heartbreaking to me. It's heartbreaking. You know, I just feel like everyone should have access to any resource that they need and want. Every person, regardless of race, religion, socioeconomic status, you know, across the board. Like, we're all human beings and we all deserve support, no matter who we are.

Yeah, that's true. And, you know, thank God that we have people like yourself that's willing to share your resources, share your time. And, you know, just, just try to be a vessel of what you've been called to do. And that's, you know, that's great in itself.

So, so on that note, I'm just telling you, I am looking for partners in order to do what I want to do. It takes resources, actually. So because I do, I have a platform, I have a business model. I just need people who really want to help, and I'm happy to partner. This is my baby, but I am happy to share it because I believe in it so much and I I see how helpful it is for families and for therapeutic for the person who's going through the experience. So I'm happy to share. I'm happy to share, you know, for other people who want to help. Takes a lot of marketing too, as you could imagine.

Yeah, I can imagine that.

Yeah.

Especially when you go into something like that, like you say, you want to make it national. And yes, put it out there. So it does take a lot. And it does, like you say, take partners and people that's willing to have the same type of heart for those, you know, to do the same thing, to encourage, to uplift, even in trying times, you know. And not just for the person in itself, but for the families, you know. I can just imagine.

Oh, gosh. It has been so amazing for families, you know, because what I find is when people are going through that process, first of all, it's so hard to tap into your longevity. You know, who wants to face that? It's so challenging just to face that, you know. But when families hear the voice and they hear the wishes and the desires and the values of the person, it is so incredibly meaningful for them. And they're always so thankful. They really are, because they get to hear the voice, they get to see the face, they get to hear from the person. And when I asked them, what are some messages you want to send out to the world, to your family, to your child, you know, etc., like, they speak from their heart, you know, they read and they speak from experience, and they speak from a person who's leaving this earth, you know, so it's so meaningful.

Yeah, I get it. So when you get this platform off, you know, hit me up, do whatever I can. So, Doctor, you also teach a graduate course at NYC University titled Mindfulness Practice. Can you tell us a little bit about this course and the impact that it has on the students?

Sure. So, yeah, it's at NYU, New York University in Manhattan, and it is actually a graduate course. And I teach practitioners, you know, or upcoming practitioners how to integrate mindfulness in their clinical practice. And inevitably, what's so interesting, the students always say to me, I don't understand why you don't like all practitioners not learn these skills. It's so important, you know. And they are, you know, they are like, nurses should learn this and doctors should learn it. And like, anybody who's servicing other people in any field should be learning these skills. And there is some value and something to be said about that. I have to say, the students— I do a lot of experiential exercises with the students. So I'll have really tap into challenges, you know, for example, managing negative or difficult or uncomfortable emotions. But I will put them to the test. I will put them to the challenge and I will give them exercises whereby they have to engage in those exercises, you know, and the discussion is so rich and enlightening and it really helps them, you know, when they're hopefully in the future practitioners themselves working with clients.

Mm. So me personally, that's a little bit over my head, but it's good.

Well, so I'll give you an example. I'll give you an example of an exercise that I do. And again, just to give you some, you know, kind of understanding of how intense it could be at times. So I'll have them sit across from one another. I'll pair them up into pairs, and I'll have them sit across from one another. And I'll tell them that they have to touch knees, just touch knees, and they have to stare in each other's eyes. Okay, I don't tell them for how long, but I usually do it for about 5 minutes. Now, could you imagine what that must feel like?

Uh, yeah, a couple of times we got to stare at somebody.

Yes, that's right. So it evokes a lot of negative and uncomfortable emotions. Right? Because just sitting there and staring at somebody, there's a lot of deep intimacy that goes on, right? As you're really looking at somebody.

Yeah.

So, so the interesting part of that is you notice on a number of different levels what's going on within you, right? So you notice, for example, how you're feeling when you're doing that. You're noticing what you're thinking when you're doing that. You're noticing what body sensations are getting elicited as you're doing that. You know, you notice, like, even the way your perspective of how you're viewing the other person, and people will say something like, oh, you know, when I first started staring, like, I noticed all their features, and I was like, kind of making judgments. Oh, she has pretty blue eyes, or she, you know, whatever. And then at the end, right, how that evolves as the 5 minutes are passing, you know, so there's so much that comes up, and also the discomfort in the body of like, this intimate interaction with somebody, you know. But like, when you're like working with somebody on an intimate level, let's say, whether you're a physician or a therapist, or I don't care what you're doing, I don't care if you're a service person, you know, whatever you're doing, you're having interactions with other people. And it's really important to be in touch with what's going on within you, because then you run the risk of spilling over in a negative way.

Yeah, I agree.

And that holds true for any really profession, honestly.

Yeah, that's a good practice. Maybe I should try touching knees with my wife today and look at her for 5 minutes in her eyes like you say.

Try it, try it. I'm telling you, it's intense. It's really, really intense.

I was sitting here thinking as you said that a person say that they see their features and things of that nature. You start seeing, like you say, things that you never really noticed about that person. Like, wait a minute, they got freckles on their nose. I never noticed those little freckles on the nose. Things of that nature, because I know 5 minutes staring at somebody in sight could be a long time, you know. It seems like a lot longer.

It feels a lot longer.

So, Doctor, you talked about it earlier, your award-winning books, Free Your Child from Overeating, and the book that you announced, ACE: Your Life Unleashed Your Best Self. Can you give us some, some information, some insight on the works that you, uh, doing with these books? Sure.

So I'm gonna just show you my cover because I love it. But this is what it looks like, Ace Your Life.

Ace Your Life.

It's my color, so I'm very proud of it. And I actually just recorded a couple of weeks ago, I recorded the audiobook, um, and I narrated it myself. So I was really happy about that too. I wanted it to have like a personal touch to it. So yeah, the book really is about stuckness. It's about all the things that get us stuck for whatever reason. And for each person, our stuckness is different, right? Some people have a hard time with procrastination. Some people have a hard time with anger. Some people have a hard time, you know, with maybe anxiousness, you know. So we all have our thing, you know, with relationships, with career, you know, I could go on and on, parenting, right? So It's important to understand what that is for you. And if you're human, you have stuckness. I don't care who you are. That's just the way it is, you know, because we're imperfect beings. And it helps you to understand what are the barriers that get in the way, and also what could you do proactively in order to work through the stuckness. And that's what the whole book is about. And I see that really kind of couched in acceptance, compassion, and empowerment. And I really talk about it and frame it that way. Because if you follow this method, you'll be able to work through your stuckness. So that's kind of what I'm all about. I really try to help people and really be where they're at.

You know, like where sometimes the words say, where he takes us where we're at, you know, where we was in sin and we was doing this and that. But he still took us where he's at. So I like that analogy that you use. And one thing that you said too, when you started off, procrastination, I think that's a good one that a lot of people do, even myself, you procrastinate knowing that you have some things to do and you put it off and you put it off and you put it off to the point sometimes you just leave it together all alone and then just come back years later like, man, I should have did this a long time ago. You know, as you being an author, myself sometimes, we begin writing. I know myself began writing and then put it down. And, you know, sometimes you don't get back to it until later on down the line. Like, I should have been done this. I know what you mean about procrastination because I am a victim of that.

A lot of excuses and rationalizations that we make, right? There's so many different barriers that get in the way of that. If I sat here and I said, why do you think you procrastinate? Where does that come from? I'm sure you could tell me, right? So, and, or maybe not. And maybe that's why it's so hard to get through the stuckness, because you're not aware of why it is that you procrastinate, right? So, so much of it also is subconscious. So much of it is routine or habit. We don't even know why we do things sometimes. I, I had just recently, I had this, um, interchange with a friend of mine, and he said something to me that was hurtful, you know, and I got hurt, you know, I felt hurt and wounded. And I said to him, like, where was that coming from? You know, I want you to understand, like, where that came from, because then I don't feel safe. I'm worried it's gonna happen again. And he's like, I don't know. I go, well, that's a problem for me, for me. Because if you're not aware of it, it's very likely that you're going to repeat that behavior. And that doesn't really feel safe for me. So I need— like, that may be something you really want to be working on, because that's going to like trickle over in other relationships. It's not going to just happen with me. And of course, lo and behold, it does, because that's just the way it is.

Yeah.

So you realize sometimes even, even like habits that we get ourselves into, you know, it just becomes a habit. We don't even realize that. It's just the way it is.

Yeah, and so there's a lot to work on. And one thing about habits, they're hard to break once you start it. It's hard to break it. Then again, we procrastinate, as you said, we talked about earlier, and we make excuses on why we're doing this or why this, you know, it's happening, or why I can't stop smoking, or things of that nature, you know. So yeah, so I think it all ties hand in hand. Like you said, a lot of times, a lot of it we have to work with ourselves and identify the things that's going on with us. But as you alluded to earlier, sometimes we don't even notice what we're doing. It takes somebody else to notice our miscues, you know, and bring it to us. Like, hey, you need to— like you told him, you need to change that. Quick fast, little early.

Exactly.

Yeah. So, Doc, I thought that this was very interesting. You're a prolific blogger with over 1.7 million reads. That's an accomplishment in itself. So what type of content do you focus on in your blog?

All different. I mean, you know, I have to say, usually it's just like, I'm always thinking, like, my brain is always like, you know, so I find when I'm either meditating, you know, or I'm an avid exerciser. And I do a lot of like health-related practices. Like, things just come to me, you know, or if I notice something that keeps coming up when I'm talking to clients, like I'm on it, you know. So one thing that came up that I just wrote about, like about a week or two ago was, first of all, I'm a big believer too, that everyone has some kind of trauma. Right? It could be like a little t or a big T.. And what I'm noticing is the experience of, you know, partners, you know, people who are partnered with people who have significant trauma that haven't done the work, haven't healed. And what tends to show up in relationships if you don't heal? Like, I was having like clients throughout the— patients throughout the week where this was kind of kept on showing up. And I'm like, you know, I need to write about this. So typically, it'll be something that I'm noticing that keeps popping up. It could be something that, like, one thing that I, again, strongly feel is like, we don't learn how to be self-compassionate. We never learn that. We don't learn that from our parents. We don't learn that in school. We don't learn that even from interacting with others. We're taught how to be compassionate towards others always, but never towards ourselves. No, like, people don't know how to do that. So again, when these topics kind of come up, and I see them playing out in society, you know, in my practice, wherever, I'm like, I have to write about this. So it's always like a public service. You know, even when there was school shootings, you know, I wrote an article, it was called Why Are We Becoming Immune to School Shootings? So when things happen in media, again, that are disturbing to me, because I'm a huge advocate, again, you know, for others, I'll write about it. You know, when I want to get the message out. Another example, again, this was years ago, but I don't know if you know Robin Williams, actor. Yeah, he suicided. And there was so many articles that were coming out about that's so selfish. And, you know, how can you do that to his family, and, you know, etc. And I became so enraged because I was like, people don't understand what this is like, they need to understand what this is. So I wrote an article about it. Interestingly enough, for that particular article, I got a call from the Christopher Reeve Foundation. And they asked me if they could share the article with their staff, because Christopher Reeve and Robin Williams were very, very close friends. And they felt like it would be really, really helpful to share it. And I was like, so delighted. I felt so honored, you know, that they found it helpful, because I was explaining that, like, no, this is You know, they're demonizing a person who's suiciding, and that's just like awful. So when I, when I feel there's like an injustice or a need to like, again, there's a need for education, I'm on it. Don't miss out on CJ Moneyway's book Both Eyes Open and Both Eyes Shut, and get ready to pre-order his upcoming release The Issues of Life, coming soon. Moneyway, aiming to inspire.

So you said something in the beginning of that that was intriguing to me because I had never thought about that either, and I'm pretty sure a lot of people haven't thought about it the way that you explained it. If you can give us one example, as you said, that we've learned, you know, through family and growing up how to be compassionate for others, but what is it and how can we be compassionate to ourselves?

That's two chapters in my book, but I will really kind of summarize it as best as I can. You know, it's— first of all, it's about noticing when we're not, right? So what— how do we notice we're not? We're criticizing ourselves, we're judging ourselves, right? We're kind of spiraling, you know, we're avoiding our negative or uncomfortable emotions. There's so many ways that we're like not showing compassion towards ourselves. And especially during moments of suffering, by the way, that's when we're the least compassionate. And that's when we need to be the most compassionate, which is interesting. And even if you think based on our culture, you know, a lot of mechanisms by which we teach people is by tough love. That doesn't work. That doesn't teach compassion. That actually teaches the opposite. Even the way we socialize children, right? If let's say they had a sports game, we say, oh, what do you think your coach thought of you? And like, look how your teammates think of you. No, you have to say, how do you feel about yourself? What was that experience like for you? Because it teaches that child to look within themselves and to connect with their— what's so beautiful and amazing about them. Right? So that when, like, again, all throughout their life, that inevitably increases their self-confidence and their self-belief and their self-efficacy. So when they have to make decisions, or they're going to be more mindful, when they have to, like you said, take an action instead of, like, holding back, they're gonna be confident in themselves and they're gonna move forward. Our confidence People move forward and make progress and thrive when they feel confident, not when they're feeling, again, a lack of confidence.

Yeah.

So the way we're socialized sometimes is so backwards, it doesn't even make sense.

Yeah. And as I know, you know, as a doctor, you know, well known, that socialization right now is like, is at a minimum, you know, like people don't socialize like how we used to get outside and play and, you know, stay out all day and have your friends. They just, they just don't do that nowadays.

No. And family, by the way, families too, you know, like the past people every Sunday night, they used to like have dinner with their families, or they, or you said they used to live close together too in the same vicinity, right? You know, or people used to be so close to grandparents or whatever. It's not like that anymore. It's very, very just enfranchised. People are like spread out. It's just the way it is. We're socialized differently. And our values are different. Our values are different. I think that's a really important component. Listen, all you have to do is look what's going on in the world today. It's like, like you almost feel like you're living, you know, in this uncharted territory. And you're like, what the heck just happened? Yeah, you know, like, I was proud When I grew up, you know, I was proud with what was going on in society. Now I'm worried about my kids. I have to be honest with you. I have 4 kids. I'm worried about my kids. Yeah, really worried on so many levels.

I understand what you mean, you know, because it's so much things, the unknowing what's going on in society and things that they're learning. And, you know, you got the YouTubes and the, you know, social media that they're really in tune to. So you are curious and worried about the things that they're learning, not from you, but from outside influences, which are playing an important role in their lives. Because as we say, socialization with other kids and, you know, sometimes they don't even want to talk to us.

And we don't have control over those things, by the way. You know, it's interesting, I had something come up with one of my children this past week, and their father, we had a little bit of like kind of, we were discussing, like, should one of my children go somewhere and attend something, right, where they could potentially make maybe a negative judgment, right? And, you know, he was saying, like, no, you know, I don't think, I don't think she should go, like, it's too many temptations and this and that. And I was like, like, that's the real world. Like, we could, we could, like, put away all of the urges and take away all of the temptations. But like, guess what? They're still there. You know, like, what— how you teach your kid is how to work through and manage when there are temptations, not take away the temptations. That's not how a child learns. And he was like, okay, that makes sense, you know. But I said, I said, if she still makes a mistake, that's going to be on her. Yeah, right. So like, I could say to her, like, how do you think you're going to manage this? And what do you think is going to get in the way of being your best self? And, you know, and have this whole great dialogue. And I actually did the other day, she, you know, there was a judgment issue that came up. And I said to her, I go, do you think that you were really being mindful and thoughtful in those moments? And she said, you know, oh, I'm a kid. Like, she went into this whole thing. I'm like, Okay, let's put that aside for a moment, right? Because that's really kind of an excuse. But like, who you are, and what's important to you and your values? Like, do you feel like you did your best? Like, off the cuff? And she said, no, I'm sorry. And I said, sorry is great. But what sorry really means is by learning something and moving forward with thoughtfulness and mindfulness. That's a real— I'm sorry. And she wrote, you're right.

We're always teaching. That's what we do as parents. It's interesting that, you know, what you were talking about, because as me and my wife, we were talking last week because my son, you know, he's at an age where he want to do things now, you know, 13. And I believe that a lot of times that, as you were saying with your kid's father, And that you have to let them experience things. I mean, sometimes you gonna make wrong decisions, just like we did at times. I mean, I know I did. And that builds a trust too. You know, you gotta have a way to build a trust that even when they get older, that if I'm letting you drive my car to this football game or to this basketball game, I have to be able in myself, you know, a personal feeling of myself, that I have to be able to trust you to do what you said that you're gonna do. And if I don't build that trust over time, and then when it get to that time, then I'm worried, I'm, you know, like, where you at? I'm calling every minute, is everything okay? And so I think, you know, over time that you have to build that type of trust and let them get out and do things on they own without always having to chaperone them. And just, you know, that the values that they've learned at home, that they take that with them out there wherever they go. We pray for the blood of Jesus.

Yeah, you can't micromanage them. Doesn't work.

Yeah, times are different now. So we, a lot of times as parents, we have to adjust with the times. You know, I was telling somebody once before that generations have changed over time as you to about families and things of that nature. And my parents didn't parent me probably like they parents parent them. And I don't think me and my wife parent our kids like our parents parent us. You know what I'm saying? So it's just different and you have to adapt to certain things, you know. And so I really appreciate your insight on that. That was very intriguing. So Doc, moving on to another section. Dr. Michelle, humbly speaking, what is it like to be sought out by so many media outlets with over 150 national and international outlets requiring your expertise in the field that you're excelling in?

It's such an honor. I really mean that. It is such an honor. My mission in life is to help other people, like, in any way that I could do that. Gosh, I just, I love helping other people. You know, when I see transformations, when I see that people reach out to me and they tell me that I in some way moved them and or something I said was meaningful to them, it is so rewarding for me on every level, you know. And by the way, that's what gets me inspired to want to write more and to do more and to Oh my goodness, are you kidding? Like, I don't feel like I need the accolades. Like, I don't need everybody to like say, you know, good girl. But like, it, it makes me— it gives me like the reinforcement that people are actually being helped. And I want to do that more and more and more. So yeah, so there's— and you know, one thing that people always say about me, which I appreciate, is they're like, how do you have so much content? You know, because like, sometimes people have trouble marketing because they don't have enough content. Yeah, right. They don't have enough material that they've kind of created. I have, I think, you know, too much material. I like have so many different— but that's because I'm always trying to be current. I'm always trying to write about things that people are struggling with that are current in today's world, in today's moment, you know. And I'll never, ever stop doing that, ever. Literally. You know, I also— my, you know, my goal— I have another book in mind that I'm definitely going to write soon enough. But I always— I want— I think eventually I'm going to write a memoir too. Like, I— my life has been so interesting and has so much adversity. And I feel like the reason I am who I am and the reason I have the lessons that I have and I've created methods that I have is because of my own life. And I do want to share that, like I do eventually. I think now it would maybe insult too many people.

I know exactly what you mean.

I'm reserving that when it's more appropriate. But yeah, you know, you know what I mean, right?

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

But I just, I feel like I just always have a lot to share. You know, it's funny because I used to think to myself, oh, anybody could do this. What's the big deal? Like, you know? But I realize more and more, and I feel proud of myself more and more because I realize that not everyone could do this.

Yeah.

You know? And I feel proud that I'm able to do it. You know? And I could give myself that credit. And by the way, writing, interestingly enough, I didn't discover that talent of mine until— like maybe 10 years ago. I'm not even kidding. And I'm 53. So I have so many gaps in my education because I went to like 5 different elementary schools and, you know, etc. I always felt a little incompetent, to be honest with you, and inefficient because of that, because I see the gaps in my education. And then all of a sudden I started writing. I'm like, like sometimes I'll write something and I'll read it and I'm like, did I just write this? I'll literally— it's like, it's wild to me that I could write. I'm like, oh my goodness. So, and every time I write, right, it gets, it gets better. Like, that's practice, right? It's always like a better process for me. And I feel like, interestingly enough, I'm a lot more articulate writing than I am speaking, which is interesting too. So I'm always learning something about myself, and it's fun, you know, it's like an adventure.

Yeah, yeah, I get it, you know, everything A lot of things about it, I truly get it, especially with the writing. I didn't think that I had a talent for writing either, which I will say I still don't have a talent with writing a book. Like, as you, I was the opposite of you. I write as I was talking, and when I gave my first book to an editor, he was like, "No, you're definitely not a book writer." But he was able to, I can come up with the creative mindset and the things that I want to explain and then have somebody else, you know, to critique it and put it in the format or have— just like I just finished the book.

Congratulations.

Congratulations. Yeah, sometime this year or next year, that's something that I'll be on trying to do on other podcasts promoting my book. I really think that it's— and the book title is what you talked about as far as the things that you went through to get to where you are. And the book title is actually called The Issues of Life.

Oh, wow.

We all have, you know, some issues in life and that we've had to endure, overcome, still go through. And then as being parents, it don't stop there because there's still things that we have to do to protect our children, to lead them on the right way. And so these issues of life will always be there. And so we're just trying to, you know, lay a foundation so that they won't fall into a lot of pitfalls. And the things that you're doing for others right now, you know, things that you've learned over your life, of course, in life, that there's some pitfalls that we try to avoid. We try to help people to avoid those pitfalls that we have went through. And so they're life lessons You know, a lot of times people don't take heed to him, but those that do, you can find that, like, I didn't have to go through this. I didn't have to go this way. I saw he told me that it was a ditch right there, and I'm glad he told me that because now I was able to avoid that ditch. But then we know too that in life you can tell somebody that it's a ditch, but they gotta find out for theyself that it's actually a ditch.

Sure, yeah.

You know, find out the hard way. So yeah, I'm very encouraged by the things that you're doing, doc. So just a couple more questions. So what is the premise of the ACE method for unleashing your best self and living the life that you want to live?

Yeah, like I shared, it's acceptance, compassion, and empowerment. So the way that I lay it out is the first kind of chapter talks about our thinking. And it really explains more on, you know, a neurocognitive level in terms of how the physiology of our brain and how it functions, because it's important to know that. And again, you know, it might sound a little bit, you know, kind of up here, but I explain it in a very user-friendly way that anyone could understand. And then the second chapter is on our values, and it helps very specifically with decision-making, which is very critical. To all human beings. And then acceptance, compassion, empowerment, it has two parts to it. So the first part of each one is the barriers that get in the way. And then the second chapter is how do we cultivate it? How do we integrate this information so that we live our best life? And there's a lot of exercises. At the end of each chapter is a guided meditation with a QR code that you could scan, and then you also like integrate the information by doing the guided meditation. And I obviously lead it. And I have yet to see a book that does that. So that is my signature. I love doing that because I feel like when you're reading the information, you need to sit with it. You need to really sit with it and integrate it on a metabolic level. It helps with that. So that's it. But it's really walking through this methodology. And I teach it to people of all different ages, by the way. And it really helps. It really helps with transforming and helping through stuckness along the way throughout your development, throughout your life, throughout your maturity.

So, Doc, before we get to the last question, which is, can you give us some of the places that we can find your books at, your program?

Sure, sure. The best place is on my website because it has all the information about me. It has my blogs. It has everything. Which is www— and my full name, Michelle, which is two L's— Miedenberg, which is M-A-I-D-E-N-B-E-R-G.com. So you could sign up for my newsletter. And if you sign up for my newsletter too, you get my blog that comes out monthly. You'll get a guided meditation, you'll get information. So yeah, encourage everybody, all the information's there, and I'm always happy to help. And hopefully could get inspired to work through your stuckness.

Yeah, work through that stuckness, my people. So, Doc, last question before I let you go, and I really enjoyed your insight and your expertise today. Lastly, what do you believe gets the best in us, keeping us with good habits and maintaining meaningful changes?

So that I cover in my whole chapter on empowerment. Because like I said, there's so many books now on habits, right? And when I speak to people and I ask them, how many of you have done this and this and this? And like all the hands go up. And then I'll say, how many of you have maintained it over time? The hands go down. So we generally know how to create habits and change habits, but the issue is how do we maintain it over a long period of time? That becomes an issue for most people. So that's what I teach. I teach not only how do we go after what we want, but how do we sustain it over the long run. And that's the magic. That is the real magic. Once you get that and once you understand that, it's magic, literally. So I teach those specific skills. Yeah.

So you heard it here. That's the magic. Once you get a hold of it, you will know.

Yes.

To run with it. And I heard it from Dr. Michelle, and I chopped up her last name in the beginning, Mittenberg. So I appreciate you coming on the show, Michelle, Dr. Michelle, and giving us your expertise, your insight. Very informative conversation, I believe, and I hope that some of the listeners get the message out of this, and I hope some people would begin following you and sign up and subscribe for your blog like I'm going to do when I get off sometime today, because I think that what you're doing is very positive. And I pray that things will, you know, as far as your initiative that you're trying to do right now with Through My Eyes, I hope that expands and gets the recognition and the nationalization that you're trying to aim for. And I believe that with your fortitude and with your See, like, I don't know you that well, but your aggressive style, because see, like, you're not gonna stop until you get to where you want to be.

There's no stopping me, that's one thing, let me tell you.

I can believe that. I can tell that just by all the things that you have accomplished in your 53 years. Thank you. I appreciate you coming on, Michelle. Hey, you have been listening to the CJ Moneyway Show. With your host CJ Moneyway and Dr. Michelle. I'm not gonna even try to say her last name this time. Hey, but follow her, check out her website, log on to— I mean, subscribe for her blog, monthly blog, and I guarantee that you're gonna get a lot of information from it. Alright, this is your boy CJ. We outta here. Peace.

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