From Darkness to Light: Embracing Change and Healing [The CJ Moneyway Show]

It was a bitterly cold winter in Toronto, maybe -30 degrees, and I was still smoking cigarettes back then. Never smoked in the house out of respect for my daughter. I always smoked in my garage. Because it was that cold, took me 10 minutes to layer up all of these clothes just to walk to my garage. I'm sitting in my garage, you know, I got to take the gloves off because you don't want to burn the gloves, right? And I'm smoking and I'm freezing cold. And CJ, I burst out crying. I just broke. And I said, God, I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm ashamed. I'm disappointed. I cannot believe that I have allowed myself to get to this pit where I am right now, where all I'm looking forward to is I can't wait to finish work so I can get to the club because that's where the excitement is, is, and that's where I can get all of my highs. It just, it was so— it broke me. And I cried and I cried until I guess I couldn't cry anymore. I don't know how long I sat in that cold garage. All I know, CJ, is what can I say? God answers. I believe— that's just what I believe. That God answers our prayers. All I noticed is that over the next couple of weeks, I didn't have that same pull to kind of go out all the time. I don't know why. I was kind of okay to kind of come home. And then when I was grocery shopping, I was kind of okay to maybe get maybe a little bit more vegetables and fruits. I don't know why. Like, it's easier, let me pop it in the microwave. Yeah. And then it was, you know what, I'm gonna— I want to join the gym. I just, I just said one day I want to join the gym. I don't know where it came from. So all of these small changes started happening inside of me, and I realized, because I started every day with a mindset of I want to live a healthier lifestyle.